I had four hours of sleep last night. Not from the baby --- she’s a dream now. Goes to sleep for realz somewhere between 8-9 and stays that way except for wanting to eat a few times a night. That I can deal with. What I cannot deal with is the new Morella.
The one that all of a sudden now wakes up screaming at night for the door to be open, the lights to be on, to take off her damn blanket, no wait she wants it back but only touching her foot, puppies!, no kitty, Daddy!, no daddy, Mommy!, she wants us to sit by her, sleep on the floor, in the trundle bed, she wants several drinks perched on the side of her bed in case she gets thirsty...wtf.
THEN ... she will repeat this 2-4 times a night. I don’t get it. What happened? How long is this going to last? Last night I was so angry with her that I vowed we were going to ferberize her tonight. Enough coddling. No more fulfilling stupid requests. Every night it becomes more elaborate. The door is going to be closed. The lights are going to be off (except the nightlight) and she can scream it out, bang on the door, etc. I would rather her do this between 7-12 then from 12 to 2:30 in the morning. I have had enough!
Is this happening to you guys? How long did it last? What did you? I still feel angry with her today because she is crabby and sleep deprived and doesn’t want to take an effin nap.
Also. One more thing. She now screams "NO MOMMY!" when she is pooping and goes to hide in our room or tells me to leave the living room. Yet, she doesn’t want to potty train anymore and throws a fit unless she is wearing a diaper.
HELP! Words of advice, or compassion, or anecdotes appreciated.
posted by hadjare @ 10:42 AM
7 Comments:
You have a good idea in letting her fit it out.
Maybe you can potty train by example? With Adam, my nephew, I have a pottie dish. When I go pottie on the pot then I get a treat from the pottie dish. I make a huge deal out of it and he knows he cant have a treat unless he uses the pottie. He usually uses the pottie even when he doesnt have to go in order to get a treat. I give it to him whether he goes or not because he is sitting on the pottie. Eventuallyhe pees or poops and we make a huge deal out of it-call the grandparents etc. Is there a treat she really likes? Stickers? Maybe do the marble in the jar thing? so many marbles in the jar earns her a playdate or childeren's meuseum trip? maybe she's too little to understand the marbles yet...but stickers she might like to put stickers on a chart every times she sits on the pottie? I dont know. here. ((((()))) have some support parenthesis
Yes, Rowan went through that--her favorite was breakfast time, when we were trying to get her ready for daycare. She had to go to the potty, no she didn't, wait she needs to eat her cereal, but no one else can start, she needs the bathroom light on, etc. Everything had a certain order, and if things didn't go as she planned, she had to start all over! Start all over! And then a tantrum ensued. It passed, but yeah, at 2-4 times a night, I would probably let her scream it out a bit.
Potty training--we did have small toys that she could "earn" from time to time. Also, I have heard that older siblings sometimes "regress" a bit with potty training with a new baby--and I have also read that if a child is learning a new skill, sometimes other skills (like potty training) fall by the wayside a bit.
no advice from me, just sorry to hear about this. :(
This sounds eerily familiar. Noah has been doing the exact same thing, every night, for the past week+. He wants drinks, to breastfeed, to 'go downstairs', to wake up, to eat, to see Daddy, etc. Ad naseum. At about 1 AM, and then again around 4AM. And then throws raging fits when he gets his drink but no other offer than to cuddle and go back to bed. Is this all normal?! I have no idea. But misery loves company...and it sounds like we're all miserably sleep deprived at this point.
Sounds like ignoring her demands for a while is the best option going forward. Noah, at least, does not get out of his bed and, if he did, can't open his door with the plastic door-knob protector thing on it. Morella, much craftier, can open her own door. Then what? I've also read that going in and saying in an unemotional, matter-of-fact way "it's time for bed. see you in the morning" (or something like that) is one way to offer support but not encourage playtime or more demand-making behavior. That said, I find it very hard, after many nights of being woken up in the middle of the night to answer to many repeated ridiculous demands, to be anything but pissed.
So yeah. Let me know how you 'fix' this problem....
A.
Ruth's had serial post-bedtime demands for the past couple of months. She calls through her closed door. She wants a glass of water, but doesn't want to keep the sippy cup in her room. She wants her blankets fixed. She needs help finding Elmo. She wants a fresh Kleenex but doesn't want to have her own box by her bed. She wants another cuddle.
These wishes seem calculated to appeal to the nurturing parent -- who can guiltlessly deny their child water, blankets, tissue, a favorite lovey, a cuddle? But she'd go on and on for three hours if we let her. We'll do a few door openings to help her, accepting the requests for 5-15 minutes depending on how weary we are. But eventually she gets a "last call" warning. "This is the last time I'm going to do your blankets. Relax and stay still, or you'll have to figure out how to pull them up yourself next time." (She knows very well how to pull afghans over herself. Bedtime blankets are just a convenient puzzle for her.) Doesn't always work, but it helps, and I feel more fair giving the warning that the next request might just be ignored.
SECP
Jessie - Thanks -- but I am not too worried yet. I was just more or less commenting on the regression and her new privacy motivations. As for going by example, I think I can count the number of times I have been able to close the door while using the potty in the last two years while doing business.
Velvet - Oh thank you! That is exactly what I needed to hear. I have heard so many similar stories in the last two days that has been so heartwarming. :) You know, I like the idea of regression because of development in other areas -- her language has exploded, as well as her problem solving, play and ... well I one hand I can see how and why it's hard to be a two year old.
Kathleen - Thanks. I am looking forward to being a source of advice in one and half years. :D
A - Ugh! If we could ever actually finish a conversation while doing playdate or social interactions with kids then maybe this would have come out. Apparently it IS normal even though it feels like some kind of disease that all of our two year old have been afflicted with. I'll update with how it's actually going. But it's so good to hear this!
SECP - Ruth sounds exactly like Morella. Oh what a relief it is to hear all of this. It's not that I think Morella is different or extraordinary when it comes to this -- I just really like to hear about how other kids who are doing this and how their parents are reacting. I too have done the tissue to wipe her nose even though the box is next to her bed and she can very well get it herself. And Elmo = puppies. The only thing she hasn't tried is the cuddle or hug. I think it's bad enough to get the "MOMMY!!!!" over and over. Ha ha.
We have tried the warnings, the nonchalant talking everything -- I think what is working now is our ignoring these demands. I'll make a new post.
Laura,
Kian has been doing similar things. It's escalated so that he has to have multiple cups at one time with various beverages (It's no longer OK to just have milk, he needs to have milk and water, and since he's been sick and refusing fluids, juice). Three sippy cups, two blankets near his face but not covering his body, the fan on in the room, you must rock with him for one complete seahorse music round, he has to have particular books in bed with him. He's not been doing too much of the waking at night and wanting these things again, but the ridiculous demands sound very similar to Morella at this point.
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