I get kind of tired of people saying that my best quality is being "candid, honest, straight-forward, blunt, to the point..." etc. That is not something I work on, it's just there. And I know just as well as everyone else, that this isn't really a compliment and that it can go both ways. In fact, it's a trait that I try to reign in most of the time. People don't REALLY want to hear what I have to say about things or my opinion.
I have been toying with the idea of seeing what it takes to be a "life coach." The idea of it intrigues me, and I think that I am quite good at listening and distilling the information folks give me -- try to organize their thoughts and what not. In that case, being candid might be useful. I could be choosy about the folks I "coach" and try to pick ones who are motivated for real life change and don't just need a "best friend for hire." You know, those folks who are just really looking for someone to complain too, and tell them what to do with their life, or validate all of their choices. Sure everyone needs a little validation sometimes, but you know the kind of people that I am talking about.
If you don't know them, then you are probably one of them.
In other news, I am getting together with the DH, Matt and Kathleen for lunch today at Vientienne Palace for lunch. This will be the first time I will have lunch with my Darling and Matt during working hours. I have had lunch with Kathleen a few times before. I am hungry for it now - and leaving work early for it. I am going to have to make up for it next week, but that's okay.
You know, I get about a 100 hits a day from unique visitors ... no it's not just Hilary checking a 100 times a day to see if anything new is posted....but actually about 100 different folks. I wonder who you all are sometimes. I know about .... 20-30 of you. Anyway, I just wanted to say I appreciate you stopping by and would like to return the favor if you have a site that I don't know about.
posted by hadjare @ 11:54 AM
6 Comments:
I'm here, dear. And I check you from 3 different ISPs.
I'm sorry you're tired of being called "honest" as a good quality. At least you're being... honest about it. I have told other friends that you're one of the most honest people I know, and I value that, so I like to mention it. I don't mean honest as a synonym for "candid" or "frank" though -- by using word, I also mean that you're honorable and trustworthy. You have your sly moments, but I always feel like they're in good fun, or because you're trying to find out what someone really thinks.
--SECP
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I know that to some people, that isn't a compliment. Some people are honestly honest, and others use the guise of honesty to reign power over other people. They don't want to help them. They want to hurt them, and then just say, "Well, I'm just being honest." That's a serious power trip, and takes someone with a superiority complex to pull it off without guilt.
I don't see that in you. As you said, sometimes you have to 'reign it in' that shows that you are taking others feelings into consideration.
When I say that you are honest, candid, ect. it's because I find you trustworthy. It's a quality you should be proud of and I'm sorry that some people have made you feel guilty for that quality. Please continue to be honest with me. There is nothing I hate more than when people aren't frank with me. I may not agree with all the honest advice I get, and sometimes I do get sensitive when someone is too frank with me when I'm not ready for it. For example, Ben's comments about my poem that I told you about yesterday, but I take those opinions into consideration, and the honest opinions help me grow rather than if someone told me I rock just to make me feel better. I mean, now I'm motivated to understand poetry rather than just thinking I rock at it when I really suck at it.
so...um...what does it mean when YOU tell someone they are the most honest person you know? Does it mean you think they are a tactless bitch? ;)
The reason that people complement you on these qualities is because they are suprised that you are LISTENING to them in the first place. Most people don't really LISTEN, they are busy thinking about what they are going to say next. Your listening is a quality to be admired. You would make a GREAT life coach.
i check your site from two different ISPs
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