Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Disclaimer – My friends you are all great – please don’t take offense, it really has nothing to do with you.


However, I am feeling like I would like to meet someone who was more like me. Someone who is wearing the same kind of shoes I am (maybe a different size so we don’t have to compete). If this person did exist, s/he would be busy feeling the same way. The problem is we both have a great network of interesting, smart, clever, caring friends and family – and yet everyone once in awhile….maybe this is just an element of being human? Yet, once in awhile, I feel like a teenager, in that no one “gets me.” It’s baloney of course, because Tim gets me – but sometimes I don’t always get him. Or at least don’t feel like I do. Besides, that isn’t what I mean. I mean, he’s my husband and if I was on that deserted island I wouldn’t dream of having anyone else there but him – but he isn’t me right now, and I want to meet someone like me who I can talk to.

I can’t even explain myself here. Sorry – maybe I’ll look back on this in 50 years and still feel the same. The antidote to this, it seems to me, is to become a recluse or to not be around the same people I already am and be with other friends who I don’t see all the time to get that variety back. After all, all of your friends are not like the other – and each have that vein of gold that fulfills some need/desire/interest in you. Be it, an interest in science fiction, philosophy, personality, music tastes, ideas, etc.

I am looking forward to this weekend to being with people I haven’t been with in a long time…some of them years. Well, okay the wedding of Carrie A … the last time I saw here was about 4 years ago. There are going to be some high school friends there – people that were friends with me when I had just moved to Menomonie. That’s a strange period in my life. It was right after my Mom went crazy, got out of rehab and then reestablished herself in a new town. Of course I had to go along and reestablish myself too considering I was only 16 and had no where else to go. I hated my Dad at the time and would never have dreamed of living with him. For the first two months I didn’t talk to anyone – and I relished dressing however the hell I wanted too. That was when I really started to get to know myself and figure out the person I wanted to be.

That two months was the end of 10th grade – by 11th grade I had more friends than I knew what to do with. It was thrilling and amazing to me that people wanted to talk to me, thought I was interesting, funny, clever….anyway. I am digressing ….

Hm perhaps what I am trying to put together here is that I need to get out of Dodge and rediscover that the person I want to meet who is just like me --- is me.

5 Comments:

Blogger Jen said...

Maybe it is a touch of wanting to find yourself. Sometimes I over romanticize the friends I met when I had my moments of self-discovery which was late for me. My moment of self-discovery came my first year moving to Madison. I met a bunch of people including Laima, who helped me find myself. I miss that support sometimes. I miss the personal growth I guess. The only thing I need to remember is that while they were a catalyst for growth at that time, I was the one who chose to grow. Laima, Amanda, Steph, and Rachael as about the only people I kept in my life from that era because they still provide me with growth. The others fell by the wayside, not by choice. We just stopped calling each other.

1:49 PM  
Blogger Sleep late... dream more. said...

Yet, once in awhile, I feel like a teenager, in that no one “gets me.”

I know exactly what you mean. This has been 'hitting me' more often and often lately. ~sighs~

5:59 AM  
Blogger Hilary said...

I go through that from time to time. Unfortunatly the times I have met people who were a lot like me I ended up feeling sort of territorial about things or feeling like they are the better version of me...ha! You just can't win!

12:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Laura, I've never met anyone remotely like you as a full package...and I'm super-glad we found each other because you're so unique, thoughtful, lively, and interested in so many things. I just wish I could answer to more of your interests and activities, but I'm usually a pretty sedentary introvert.

-SECP

1:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG. Hilary just totally hit it on the head... territorial

I have definitely caught myself doing that (and the 'better version' thinking too) when I meet people who are very similar to me!!!! And you see/feel/hear yourself doing it, but it's sooo hard to stop - it feels like you're trying to change the direction of the moon's orbit or something. Eeeeek.

~L

3:24 PM  

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