Baby Mad! Baby Smash!

Man, this baby was a total pill today. She was up at 6.30 and went straight on until I put her to bed at 10.30. She just wouldn't sleep very long -- there was a two hour stretch from 2-4 that we both took a nap but that was it. Just little cat naps otherwise and huge helping of crying. We went over to brother in law Phil's house for a Christmas celebration/visit and she cried almost the whole two and half hours we were there. We think of one her problems is that she has to poop -- her digestive system is still pretty wonky and slow and she only poops every other day. Her last poop as of tomorrow morning, will be two days ago. Sigh.

I was able to get her to sleep by giving her a bath and putting on some of that lavender calming comfort lotion afterward, feeding her another bottle (she wouldn't really take one before that) and rocking and then holding her while she fell into deep sleep. By that time I was afraid to get out of bed for fear of waking her that I feel asleep and didn't get up until Tim went to bed at 1:00 -- at which point I got up to pump. So that was a three and half hour stretch...and I pumped for 23 minutes (you do it longer the longer you go) and I got a little over four ounces. At this point I am producing more than Morella is drinking and I am freezing the excess. That is only because Morella is on the low end of the 19-30 ounces that a baby drinks every day. I think, based now on a week of looking at it, that I can pump about 27 ounces a day. So you see, there is really no room to spare regarding maintaining the supply, and they say it takes 12 weeks for your supply to be firmly established. All the reports say to pump 10-12 times a day for the first 12 weeks...but who can do that? I pump as much as I can and I can still only average 7-8 times a day.

It's really, really hard to pump during the day when the baby is constantly fussy and won't sleep. I had to resort to using the vacuum today and listening to her cry while I just resigned myself to power pumping (aka five minutes here and there whenever I get a chance).

Anyway. At Morella's weight check appointment this past Friday she had gained another eight ounces in four days for a total of 8 pounds and 7 ounces. That means she gained about a pound in ONE WEEK. A pound folks. That far outstrips the lousy 10 ounces she gained during a whole month with breastfeeding as the focus.

Sigh. I still want to breastfeed though -- and I offer it to her daily. We have a little session where I try, but she still has such issues eating and latching -- and just barely squeaks by with the bottle (as in she doesn't eat that well from a bottle either as it's a struggle for her to finish one without her choking several times).

So I am keeping my hopes up in that regard, but I have also started to try and change my perspective regarding exclusively pumping. If I don't change my perspective on this and make it a positive one -- I am likely to go mad. If I just accept it, then maybe it won't be so bad figuring out the ropes to doing this. Though I have already learned a few tricks -- like refrigerating the pumping bottle/equipment after a session so I can cut down on the amount of washing I have to do. I might also succumb to buying a hands free pumping bra -- though I have managed to find a way to keep them precariously in place just using a plain old bra, but like I said it's precarious. Eventually I will be able to drop down to only 6-7 pumping sessions a day. Some of them are 10 minutes long, others are 20 minutes (double pumping) -- but at the end of the days it's still about 2 1/2 hours spent total sitting here and pumping. I suppose that's not to bad considering how often some people have to breast feed. I guess there are pros and cons both ways here.

I should go back to bed in case Morella does this again tomorrow. Of course the grandparents are visiting -- and she probably will have tired herself out from today and just sleep all day tomorrow (and poop hopefully!).