Free time? What's that?

These past two days have been one constant: walk baby, feed baby, change diaper, try to get her to sleep (she won't! she is on a napping strike), pump, wash bottles and pumping gear, make bottle, change diaper, feed baby, walk baby around facing out, try to get her to sleep....then at night she DOES sleep and I have to go sleep except that in a few hours I have to get up to pump, wash bottles and pumping gear, make more bottles, catch a few winks, change diaper, feed baby, try to get her to go back to sleep...

That said, in between shouting fests, where I put her down and or let her swing (though she isn't sleeping) I made a moby wrap. I tried using my infatino carrier but I couldn't get it to adjust right and she'll still a little TOO little for it to be really good carrying her face forward. With the moby wrap I can stabilize her via shoulders, so that she can look out and it's easier on my back. I had to try twice though to get it right -- I made it out of a hospital sheet (new) that I got at a garage sale this summer. The first time I used it, it was too short and the middle part was too bulky -- so back to the drawing board. I am sure I'll be trying it again soon. Oh like right now, because i only got 10 minutes to myself which ... wait, she might be going back to sleep.....though she needs to take her medicine. Blarg.

I can take five more minutes to finish this post.

I think Morella doesn't want us to have a new couch yet because she won't take that afternoon 3 hour nap so that I can go and do taxes. Ha ha, how often do you hear about people *wanting* to do taxes! Well, I do. I want a new couch. I have never, ever in my life been privvy to a new couch and the idea of it -- well it almost overwhelms me. We are also planning on getting a new stove because our current stove sucks! The oven door doesn't shut all the way and the back left burner doesn't always work.

Tim is planning on going out tonight. We thought about getting a babysitter so I could go do, but that was not to be. It's okay though. If she is up in an hour (almost a certainty) then I am going to drive him there in the hopes that a car ride will soothe the beast. Or buy me more nap time.

Maybe she had developmental growth spurt because when she is awake, she is super active. Talking, looking around, moving around, it's almost like she doesn't WANT to go to sleep because she is so much more aware of her surroundings and us. The way she looks at me these past fews days is awesome! It's like she is really, truly looking at me and seeing Tim and I for the first time as people and getting to know us. Likewise, I am seeing some real personality shine though. We haven't quite gotten her to do that belly laugh yet, but we can get her to shout happily by kiss ambushes and tickle fests. Oh and I did I mention she loves mobiles? Seriously, they are the best thing ever! She can't stop looking at them and for the most part it seems to calm her down if she is getting overly fussy, for a moment at least. Still, this baby needs sleep. I understand things are exciting but the longer she stays awake the more tired and unhappy she gets.

Thank you Carla for the fleece tip! I had some fleece in my small material collection and have been able to cut up a few so far for her to use. I first tried using a receiving blanket fleece but this stuff is thicker and better quality. Her bottom has not been the least bit red and it always seems dry on the touch midchange (that is until she pees).

I had a wonderful day on Wednesday though. I got a package in the mail from FedEx. I opened it up to find a collection of soap, bathbombs, body wash etc from Lush. I have had so many friends go on and on about how wonderful this stuff is and haven't had a chance to use it. I guess that's because I'm so cheap. :P Anyway, it was a belated birthday present from Sigrid -- and I can't tell you how touched I was! She said to make sure I took a little time for myself and .. .well it was just so thoughtful and unexpected and awesome.

Then, an hour after that arrived another delivery came to the door! It was from my Mom. She had made me a mysterious birthday present and didn't have the cash to send it until the first of the month. I had no idea what to expect. Sometimes my Mom's gifts are ...well they are all thoughtful and from the heart, but sometimes a little frivilous -- like the ballerina statue from one year or last years bedazzler (though honestly I imagine I am going to get some serious use from that in the upcoming years for Morella). I enjoy seeing what she has come up with next and my brother had warned me that it might be childish. Hm. What was inside? She has put together a card making kit, except this is like the mother of all card making kits! She included scissors (who can have enough of those), sparkly gel pens, metallic markers, homemade envelopes, papers -- and OODLES of handmade scrapbooky things to put on cards for every occasion. Of course, being my Mom a fair number of them are butterflies and fairies and decorated with glitter, but there is a ton of other stuff too. I was blown away. I looked though it on the couch with Morella and was almost brought to tears. She must have spent hours on this -- and to think that she thought I might not like it?! Sadly it has sat there, unused and un-reperused for the last two days on account of a excitable baby.

I spend a lot of time thinking about the people I want to write. I am torn between writing emails and letters because while I do get on the computer, I am usually pumping and since chest compressions make more milk come out faster, the most I can do is look and occasionally get a quick line or two out in response to other blogs. Whereas, I can often write something or work on writing something while holding the baby on the off chance that she does fall asleep. That being said, I have two letters I have been working on for the past three weeks. :(

Sometimes I think "maybe if I stayed up later and got less sleep..." but then I just imagine how awful it would feel to take care of a screaming Morella being that tired. Would I rather get a few me things done or not feel miserable while taking care of my sweet girl? I guess those things can wait. She won't be little forever and there is plenty of time for that other stuff. Though these last two days are totally reminiscent of those first few weeks when she came home.

Okay my frozen pizza is done and it's time to eat. It's not often I get to eat at a leisurely pace or with both hands.