Ugh.

Morella has had a tough night settling. I got her up after the first 30 minutes and offered her more milk (she didn't want any), and rocked with her while we watched part of the debate. Tim is off at the Inferno for a debate party. I'm glad that it was an interesting debate for him and other folks to holler. Then I put her down and she cried some more. So I got her up, checked her diaper, and then gave her tylenol, and cleared out some black boogers thinking maybe she couldn't breath? I mean really, it's amazing what I end up thinking might be the root cause of her not sleeping like the angel she usually is. I walked her around, listened to some music and she was calm again, that is until I said "Are you feeling better? Do you want to go back to bed?" and she started to cry again! Holy cow, I think she is starting to understand me! That's crazy!

It was totally reminiscent of the early days. The difference being this time, apparently she can understand me and second, she is getting heavy! My arms felt like noodles by the time I decided to put her down again and let her CIO for 15 minutes. She lasted 10 and then went to sleep, but did wake up crying after one sleep cycle (30 min later), but put herself back to sleep after a crying jag here and there ten minutes later. *crosses fingers*

Sometimes, like tonight, it feels like I should be doing so much more. I should be tackling parts of the house and organizing and getting rid of clutter and cleaning things before the long winter arrives, but when she goes to bed I sort of turn off. Maybe I am not giving myself enough credit for how hard it is to take care of an active baby all day while running a household. I mean, I need downtime too and the evening is usually when I get it. I end up reading, watching TV or movies, surfing the net, pumping and picking up the toys and what not for it all to be done again tomorrow.

Hold on Tim's back...will finish in about 15 when I am pumping.

---Next day ----

Obviously this post didn't get finished then. Instead we talked about how the debate went, who was at the Inferno (it was just a get out the vote sort of gathering than a real party) and I talked about how at night I just kind of turn off. Tim said something to the effect of "So don't worry about it." To which I replied "But if I don't do it then it won't get done. Nothing will ever get done!"

Then he washed bottles and cleaned off Morella's high chair for me. That is the newest chore I'm totally not a fan off.

Back to that. Now it's almost two full days of doing this new routine and ...*drumroll please* ....
She is eating. That's right. She is eating more than I have ever seen her eat before. Breakfast still needs some work. I think I might take Sarah's comment to heart when she said that they get some milk before eating...but we'll wait out the two weeks before we make any changes. It's kind of hard for me to stick something through that long because if it doesn't work right away I always want to fix it, change it, try another approach. Sometimes the best approach is to wait and see.

I am just amazed at how much she is eating. How actively she is putting things in her mouth, how she does it with such gusto -- and twenty minutes is about right. In fact it goes by rather quickly. The other night she shoveled in mac and cheese, last night it was rice and shredded cheese, for lunch it was more rice and shredded cheese with some banana chunks rolled in crushed graham cracker. Yesterday for lunch she ate banana with relish. Could it really have been that simple as she was just ... full?

I'm not gonna beat myself up over this. It's hard to adjust to this new routine because there are a million questions and what if scenarios. For example, the blasted sippy cup. She won't drink thickened milk from the cup. She will however sip some watered down juice from the sippy cup, actively hold it, work on it.

My thoughts are as such:

Does this mean she only wants milk from a bottle? Is it because it's too thick? If she keeps drinking watered down juice am I risking her health? She doesn't choke on it anymore. Sure there is the occasional cough, like any kid would do from drinking from a sippy cup. Like Cullen did the other day when I was visiting Hilary and he drank from the cup. It's a learning curve. 95% of the time she is fine. Or is all silent and she only silently is choking from watered down juice? Even though she isn't choking any more on the bottles? Again except for the occasional 'down the wrong pipe' which happens to the best of us. Should I try milk in a sippy cup without it being thickened? Hm. (tried it) That didn't work. She didn't want to drink it again. It must be that she doesn't want milk in a sippy cup yet. Why am I worried about this stupid sippy cup? She is eating! But maybe having her drink from a sippy is helping her develop an appetite for dinner, so I should keep trying it. Is she getting enough liquids? Maybe I should offer it every 10 minutes. Maybe I should try these other sippy cups to see if they have a difference [Tries them...after one or two rejections I throw them in sink and go back to the originally take and toss sippy cup]

Trust me. This goes on a lot. And just sort of apply the same thought process her reflux and it's a day chock full of busy!

Anyway. She skipped a morning nap again and when down at 11.40. Yesterday she only slept an hour and then took an hour nap in the afternoon, but then we had last night. She was just ... miserable. Today she has a play date at the zoo at 2.30. I wonder if she will be awake then. She did just eat lunch, have a bottle and then laid down without a fight. I wonder if this means she is transitioning to an afternoon nap.

This morning I got dressed, made the bed, swept and vacuumed the living room floor really well, and am currently in the process of mopping the floor. I also washed and dried a load of diapers (still need to put them away), ate lunch (man that takes so much more time to do!), played with Morella, drank some coffee and wrote and email or two. Now I should really go and pump and spend some time with my paper journal organizing ideas, crap and what not.

Did I mention I reorganized and cleaned the coat closet? I did. I am just so obsessed with getting rid of clutter right now. It's insane. I keep imagining myself living in a super nice, bed and breakfast style home for the winter because well...winter is long and sucky. I gotta get a grip....after I finish with this cleaning...organizing...fixing up....I don't know. It's like I need to do the whole house. Give it a once over in every aspect. Most people think of this a spring cleaning so maybe it's just that. Or maybe I am finally getting that nesting instinct. The timing would be right -- for LAST year. Ha ha.

Now to pump. It's always a burden off my back when it's done.