Fuck. I was having a good day and now I am overcome with an episode of low self confidence. It's stupid really -- but since I don't seem to be aware of it, I feel even MORE aware of it.
"I guess you had some garlic recently, huh?" asked my coworker. She sat at her desk working on a laptop.
"Why, yes!" I replied happily, "I made chili last night."
"You must have used a lot of garlic," she replied with a quick glance.
"Actually yes," I said, starting to get a little suspicious. "I used a whole head of garlic." Suddenly I realized what she was getting at. I consciously stepped back from her and added lamely "It was chili after all."
Pause.
"How could you tell?" I asked the question anyway. "I even took a shower this morning, and..."I grasped for some kind of defense "Garlic is good for you."
"You can get the same benefits from onions too," she smiled.
"Oh," I replied "I put five or six of those in there too." I wasn't going to win this. This woman has the nose of a bloodhound and apparently I am exuding garlic and onion from a 10 foot radius. "I had no idea anyone could smell it."
She concentrated on her computer and tapped in a word or two.
"I mean," I continued while sniffing my arm and hand, "I can't smell it at all."
Tap. Tap. Tap.
----
I should also mention 1: She is the same one I said was babbling last week, and 2: I ate another bowl of chili when I got home. So there.
posted by hadjare @ 12:49 PM
5 Comments:
you should bring some chili to work tomorrow and eat it at your desk.
I made chili today and it was damn good, if I do say so myself. But...I only put three cloves in. ;)
of course you know, this means war.
not only do you take that chili to work and eat it at your desk, you start bringing in a cheap-ass thrift store crock pot and cooking up a batch every week!
and when you get sick of chili [as if] you can start making garlic bread to go with a garlic-ladden marinara sauce [since i know you don't like mushrooms] that'll work well with everything from pasta to lasagna to pizza.
hell, it's not too late in the season to make one last batch of gazpacho and put a lot of garlic in that, too.
i've even got recipes for a garlic soup, if you want.
garlic this bitch OUT!
or just ignore the tramp - she sounds like kind of a shit-startin' dumbass.
sounds like you REALLY got her with the babbling comment... she probably felt R-E-A-L-L-Y stupid after being labeled a babbling fool... heh.
now she's trying to intimidate you with this lame garlic smell thing... what a sad babbling fool...! i say bathe in garlic... viva la garlic!
Poor Laura. Licorice and parsley works...ahem. It may have been your breath. But then. I live with a man that chews tobacco and that NEVER smells pretty. I have enough concideration never to say anything. I certainly wouldn't want to be told I'm fat every time someone was offended by my...fat-ness.
I say offer a token of peace: A braided garlic chain,E-Z chile mix, some colgate and a book on how not to babble. I have plenty of pretty baskets for you to pack it all in..and even some grass. that bitch.
dude. that was the awesomest chili ever. E-V-E-R! you shouldn't have to apologize for it.
(and PS.... i loooove phil's ideas :)
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