Hadjare = asshole.

Sigh. Yesterday I was finally able to send the doubles I had gotten for my family and friend: Dad, Andrew/Lori, Jessie and my Mom. Along with my Mom's pictures I sent a photocopy of our a sewing machine manual (we have the same machine), some cut out pictures of fairies from a calender, a few photocopies of some flowers or something (coloring), a letter and some seeds. I was pretty proud of myself for FINALLY getting those packages sent since they have been sitting on my coffee table for 3 weeks or so. Yesterday after getting home I found a letter from my Mom asking for $30 to pay a driver to take my brother to Marshfield for a fitness exam (to see if he is fit enough to undergo a surgery to remove most of his rotten teeth). Now, if she had just called to ask I could have included it in the package! NOOOoooo she had to write a letter.

So I sent a Get Well card to Josh today with $31 dollars...all I had -- which is a lot more than I usually have because I had just gotten some money out yesterday. Anyway, I actually felt a little bad that I couldn't send $40. The reason for the $30 was that they finally convinced the county to provide a driver who would be reimbursed 33 cents a mile...but that driver insists that he needs to be paid $30 the day of - which is March 30. He wouldn't reschedule and they couldn't find anyone else to do it. If you know anything about the end of the month finances then you know finding this much money is hard...and when you have to ask me then I know they are desperate.

Why? Because many years ago I told them specifically to never ask me for money. I only said that though after many many years of mooching and you know eventually you have to set limits. That said, I usually send them some money during the month, and there are a few times when they have asked - -but they have been true emergencies. So now that you know that, you know why they sent a letter asking.

On the other hand, come on! It's almost the end of the month and it would have been so much easier to send it yesterday when I was downtown and access more money and blah blah blah. So I sent it today.

This evening as we were just about to sit down do a italian meatball and tortelli crock potted dinner and fresh from the oven biscuits -- the phone rang. I was my Dad. He already got the photos. So we talked a little and then I talked to Barb. After that, Tim called his Dad and they talked for awhile. We walked Pluto causing me to miss My Name is Earl -- but that's okay, and came home. I was sitting down working on the afgan when the phone rang. I debated letting the answering machine get it but answered it anyway. Really I should have let the machine get it -- that was when I noticed there was already a message. It was my step-dad -- you know he doesn't call often. I knew right away why he was calling.

He said he got the package and that they loved it. Then he asked if I got Mom's letter. I said "Yes I sent the money to Josh today."
"What?"
"I sent the money to Josh in the mail today," I responded, irritated.
"We'll pay you back the next day," he said.
"You don't have to," I said "It was a gift to Josh."

Small talk ensues.

"So we'll write you a letter and send it on the second and send the money then," he repeats.
"It was a gift to Josh," I said.
"Well...."
"It was a gift...to....Josh. I do not need to be paid back." I stated.

"Well, I better let you go," he said.
"Yeah okay, talk to you later," I replied, already feeling disgusted with myself.

Sigh. So now I feel like a bastard and am going to have to apologize in the next letter about how I wasn't feeling well or something. I just hate how I lose my temper like that. My family can make my blood boil in two minutes flat.