Hey Kellie, how long did you have these blues for? I am just wondering how long everyone has them.
They came out of the blue and seem to come around evening time. I am trying to do everything I can to combat them. Today was much better but I won't lie when I say I got them again this afternoon. I get so emotional about everything. I guess it didn't help that my Mom called after my afternoon nap (see, trying to sleep in the day when baby sleeps to gear up for the night time) and she was a total downer. She asked how I was doing and I told her I was having difficulty getting the baby to eat. She immediately said "What if she isn't getting enough? YOu should go to a doctor - she might need IV."
Thanks a lot Mom! I started crying and told her that was NOT what I needed to hear. She said she was sorry but she was just thinking and then continued to paint more worst case scenarios! Finally I changed the subject abruptly after telling her that Morella is getting enough wet diapers and even had a good poopy one today. See? I ended up reassuring her before listening to her litany of complaints and various medicines she is on and their side effects and all her doctor's appointments.
After that was done I thought "What if Morella feels that way about me one day? What if she feels that way about me now?" Oy. I hope not.
Anyway. I guess it has been an okay enough day. Our first day at home without Daddy around to help. It was rather lonely not having him around -- but I guess I'll have to get used to it again. Morella breastfed exclusively without the shield on the right breast, but I still can't latch her on the left breast. I am constantly afraid that she'll not get it each time we try. Talk about trust issues. The first one this morning was for 13 minutes followed by lazy sucking with the shield on the left breast for about 30 minutes. The next time Morella nursed for a good 30 minutes! That's awesome! But she wasn't that interested in the left breast and was fussy. She was fussy for a long time come to think of it.
Anyway. Dinner is done. I made squash tonight because all I had to do was cut and gut it. I am not eating that great. Where is this stupid appetite I am supposed to have? find that I actually have a worse appetite than I did while pregnant. I have very little interest in food. Maybe it's from the stress of adjusting. Or maybe we need more healthy snacky food around. We do need to go to the grocery store but with this weather I am not interested in driving there myself with the Bit to shop. For one, I just don't know if I am up to it. Physically I am feeling much better today -- I tend to feel better on the days when I am not as active. Each day is getting better in that regard.
There was something else I wanted to say. Oh yeah, there are hardly any pictures of me with the Bit so far! I'll have to remedy that. I also want to print some out to send my Mom so she knows what she looks like. I just haven't gotten around to the computer.
I am beginning to think my grand plans of a family holiday portrait aren't gonna happen. :( It mean it's already the 4th and I still don't feel ready to leave the house. Maybe I should just stage something at home with our camera and Tim.
--Thanks Sarah. It was a blow out that was had climbed up and out of her diaper! She saves those massive poops for the lactation consultant. How long was a typical sucking breastfeeding session with Ruth in the beginning?
--Zoey, we are with you on the benefits of breastmilk versus formula. Morella hasn't had formula in over a week now. In part in because she won't drink from a bottle anyway. But mostly we want the cheap factor, the immunity, the easier to digest, less spit ups, less diarrhea/constipation factor. I think my biggest worry with her is that she doesn't want to eat all the time. She seems to be working on a 4 hour time schedule which stresses me out with this stupid 2-3 hour bullshit. But when she does eat she'll go at it for an hour. Sigh. I still have to pump though to help prevent a decreased milk supply because of the nipple shield usage. It is tiresome.
-Jess, thanks for the colic advice. I don't think it's colic (that seems like something I don't want to admit too -- especially since the books seem to indicate that there is a fussy time that babies have). I DO sing to her -- I just hope that she manages not to learn my tone deafness. :P Sigh. And thanks, you are right ... this takes time to learn. One day at a time, right?
That said the baby awakens, dinner has been done for 20 minutes and I am still not interested in eating it. Now the baby is going to want something to eat and the dinner gets cold and I am sure I won't want to have anything to do with it later.
posted by hadjare @ 6:36 PM
7 Comments:
The blues will last as long as they last. Some people have them for a week or 2, some have them for much longer and some, believe it or not, end up getting zoloft for it for a short time.
I loaded up on B12, slept when the babe slept (like your doing) and make sure to try and do something for you. Even if it's a bath or bake a cake just for you. If it makes you feel any better, the first baby is the hardest. I don't remember having the blahs when Yaya was born--maybe it was the B12 :) Think about it though, your tired, overwhelmed, your hormones are going from pregnancy optimism to normal again, stress, worry...thats all it is.
Did you get your fall package yet? When you get it, sniff some potpourri and drink some cappuccino and enjoy some of the stuff that is exclusively yours.
And then, your mom, just let what she says slide right through the ear hole. Your doing really great and I'm really really proud of you for conquering the breast feed. Your gonna post next week and wonder what all the fuss was about.
I have been checking out these Yoga magazines (yep--I got a subscription) and doing some of the stuff they suggest both there and on the Veria channel. I'm telling you, it really helps. Since they took me off my meds, my anxiety level went from silly ol' Jess to psycho--damn-I-can't-seem-to-function anymore. My own cry time has cut in half and I'm able to empty my mind enough to sleep better. Last night I had an outbust of cry, but I didn't take time to stretch and relax either. Maybe 5 or 10 minutes of yoga stretches will help. They shoulden't hurt you (I know all about having your placenta manually removed and feel your pain--seriously), but it might be worth a try.
hey- lemme know if you want me to come over and hang with you... my schedule is all wonky, so i have some mornings free. and if you want me to come over and take some xmas snaps of you and the family, i'm game. :) sigrid
ps- my word verification for sending you this is mmofo. it amuses me greatly.
The baby blues for me were a bit of a surprise. I knew that I would most likely have them a little since many women do, but I was very unprepared for how sad I actually felt. It was triggered by everything and nothing. It was awful, and I'm so sorry your having to deal with it. Unfortunately my doctor at the time was very quick to jump to putting me on antidepressants, which for some women works wonders, but for me I think it really magnified things and quickly turned into a downward spiral of switching meds and feeling worse and worse. Medication really does work for many women, so don't get me wrong.. it just didn't sit well with what was going on with me personally. I was very naive about it all at the time. It was scary and horrible, and I didn't truly feel better for a few months, and only when I was able to get out of the house more, spend time with others, and get some exercise.
Going for walks really helped.. of course it's cold right now, but if you can, try to get out of the house and get some fresh air on a nice little walk with a good cup of hot coffee. Spend time with your friends too. That helped me enormously! Being able to talk to other adults and get an escape for a little while was huge!
All the breastfeeding issues are bound to make you feel sad and uneasy too. That was one of the key factors for me. Like you, I was having a terrible time getting her to latch, and was ALWAYS so worried that she wasn't getting enough. It's incredibly overwhelming and exhausting. Be easy on yourself though.. She's having wet and poopy diapers, and that's a fantastic sign!! You're definitely doing something right!
Many women only have the blues for a few weeks, and hopefully it will be that way for you. Mine may not have been so prolonged if I would have known a few other things to get me out of my slump as far as exercise, good food, and the company of friends. When you are up for it, do get some light exercise. I can't tell you how much it helped me! I also identify with having no appetite after the birth. I was the same way with Ella. I think that not getting enough fat and nutrients while I was trying so hard to nurse and pump and never sleep was a huge factor in me feeling so sad. It took a few weeks to get an appetite back, and that alone really did help a lot.
If you are up for a phone call I would love to be able to chat with you about this more. I feel I have a million things to say about it, and could go on and on.. I don't want to call when you or Morella are napping, so if you are feeling up to it please give me a call anytime and we can talk. Tomorrow afternoon is good!!
Hang in there! It WILL get better!
Hi, Laura. Merteuil's mother here. It helped me to know that a lot (but of course not all) of the baby blues for me was strictly chemical - hormonal changes, and I've experienced that at other times in my life (including adolescence). I did formula feed from the beginning - didn't have the courage or fortitude you gals have, I guess. Where Sarah was born, they gave me a post-natal hormone shot to stop the milk from coming in, and I don't really remember having the blues to any great extent. With baby number two, they discouraged the shot, and I vividly remember when my milk really came in - painfully- and with a rush of emotions at about day 3 or 4. I happened to witness a sad event right at that very time down at the nursery (where they took babies then between feeds and visits) that made me weep uncontrollably for days and still makes me weep when I think or talk of it - far out of proportion to how it would have affected me any other time. I also stayed in the hospital for five days as was expected then with birth one, and when Baby 2 was born, and the pediatrician began talking of sending me home after 3 or 4 days, I asked if I could stay the 5 days (partly to experience the Mom/Dad feast that was served on the maternity floor twice a week), and good old Dr. Thaden asked if I had any help at home. I told him both my mother and my mother-in-law were there (partly to care for Sarah, who was three), and Doc Thaden said, in that case, I could stay as long as I wanted!
Libby
have you tried this stuff for the bit - http://www.mylicon.com/
I didn't know about it for Tristan, but heard about it from Nat's pediatrician. That stuff is awesome.
I remember worrying that Tristan and Nat weren't getting enough too because it always seemed like they were hungry. Just keep counting those diapers.
As for baby blues, they are the worst. Just don't try to tough them out too much. It's natural, so rely on Tim and friends for support and cry when you need to without the guilt. It's hormonal, and it sucks, but trying to tough it out only seems to make it worse. If it gets too unbearable, call the doc.
I think my crying and desperate frustration started to fade around 2 months - when Ruth began sleeping longer stretches at night, and when her feedings and sleeps became more predictable. I could plan outings, errands, naps, chores, and creative time with more confidence.
I disagree that the blues are entirely hormonal - a lot of it is plain old lack of good sleep for mamma. *Anyone* would go insane if they were put on a new mom's sleep routine. It's like exotic torture to break down a captured spy. There's also the fact that you've just given up a lot of personal freedom, for a very long time. So...yes, it's hormones, but also sleeplessness and trying to accept a major life change.
-SECP
Forgot to answer the feeding length question. I seem to remember we tried for 10 minutes per side at first. A total of 20 minutes. The packet from our lactation consultant recommended at *least* 10 minutes total of solid sucking per feeding; if that didn't happen, I was to supplement with pumped milk or formula. Like you, I did the pumping thing to mainain my supply.
Now we do 20-30 minutes on one side per feeding. I don't like the hassle of switching during a feeding, and I think Ruth gets a good balance of thinner, thirst-quenching foremilk and richer hindmilk that way.
-SECP
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