Okay. I feel like I am practically on cloud nine -- I have found at least an answer to ONE thing. Oh thank god.

In a nutshell:

1. I found a thickener that works with breastmilk, but it's hella expensive. It's $50 bucks for a two week supply. I ordered a month supply. I figure it still cheaper than that formula, powder thickener and sanity.

2. Prevacid takes up to two weeks to start working. I got a three month supply for 15$ that I can pick up when she goes in for a quickie weight check and look over next Monday.

3. In the meantime, get baby back on xantax.

4. Boucinette needs to be used more.

5. Work on pacifier.

6. Accept that baby will barf and .... be the barf. :P

So we had the appointment with the ENT this morning. They stuck a thin camera on a wire down each of her little nostrils to take a gander. I had to sit in a chair that they raised and hold her arms in while another woman held her head still. She screamed the whole time. I ask you, why do they always try and tell us that this doesn't hurt kids? That it's a teeny uncomfortable? Gah, it's like when they say the HSG is going to feel like a little pinch...:P Thank goodness for infantile amnesia.

The results of this test was that she does have a mild case of Laryngomalacia: (literally, "soft larynx") is a very common condition of infancy, in which the soft, immature cartilage of the upper larynx collapses inward during inhalation, causing airway obstruction. It can also be seen in older patients, especially those with neuromuscular conditions resulting in weakness of the muscles of the throat. However, the infantile form is much more common.

It also showed that the folds were red, irritated and swollen -- all symptomatic of her reflux. Basically the doctor said that it will probably get better when her reflux gets better and gives it time to heal.

So. We need to focus on getting this reflux under control.

---two hours later---

Okay so. This weekend sucked, she was got progressively worse and started barfing more and more until last night she wouldn't keep anything down the wet diapers decreased and the poop or two was getting thicker and drier looking. Plus you know she cried almost that whole time. I think I know why this happened now, but let me finish. We felt helpless. This formula and powder thickener route blows. It wasn't working for us or the baby because figuring out the right consistency was a bitch. What is honey consistency anyway?

I get home and it's so foggy it's like a cloud outside and it's pouring. Totally dreary, and when it rains like that it seems to bring out the best in the cat pee smell. A smell we do out best to eliminate. I ended up making her three bottles before I got the right one. The first one with the elemental formla was too thick - and I tasted it and realized it's the worst thing that has passed my lips in years. The second bottle with soy formula was too thin. I dumped it, the baby cried and I decided to just make a four ounce bottle again and not mess around with measurements. She ate one ounce of that and went to sleep. I posted about barfing and was reminded that I have a bouncinette. I moved her to it from the boppy (she kept sliding down in it anyway) and her breathing got better and she had a nice long nap!

AWESOME. But the day was about to get better. In the meantime, I did lots of research. I had gotten 12 packet samples of this new thickener called Simply Thick Gel. It's not made of cornstarch but relies on xanthan gum to thicken things up. There was a chance that it might work with breastmilk. I was leary. I looked all over and saw that they use it for preemies...but mostly I saw that it was done with formula. Finally I decided to bite the bullet and try.

My friends, it works. It's a fucking miracle. It thickens right away, it can be refrigerated, and reheated. The breastmilk does not break it down. It's good all day if you want to leave it out (though obviously the rules still apply to breastmilk). Oh my god. I felt such a burden lifted. I also learned what honey consistency is -- it's so simple -- put a straw in the middle. If it stands for 5 seconds (or more) it's the right consistency!

She was fed two bottles (four ounces...well five...total) and it stayed down. I used the boucinette in between and she napped, and I am working on her starting to use a pacifier after she eats. If she can use a pacifier it will help the esophagus muscles work to keep acid down. She is currently now working on another.

She is talking. She is alert. She is not squalling.

The pediatrician called the meantime, and I learned that she should still have been on the baby xantax. This might explain why Morella started crying and being in more pain over the weekend since I stopped giving it to her when we started the prevacid last Friday.

Xantax - neutralizes acid
Prevacid - helps stop acid production

So. I am hoping now that we are doing both -- and she is getting breastmilk, which breaks down faster -- that we will start to see some improvement this week.