have been working on fixing up the apartment...adding more flowers...cleaning up things...arranging things attractively in order to make it nice..but that is more side projects....and it is clean. I want to get back into crafts. I want to have a indian buddy to make outfits with....to be excited about dancing at a powwow. A real indian or part indian friend. not just a mostly white friend (or completely) that I have to constantly reassure and make feel better, and justify (that it is okay that they are interested in Native ways, and can participate fully in events...such as a powwow). Wow, did I just say that? I can't believe I did. I don't think I have ever admitted that before. It seems like such a nonPC thing to say...to say that I would like another half indian, or more friend to hang out with and do indian things with.

Today I have a head ache, and feel just all around kind of crappy. For the first time, I used my cell phone for evil purposes and called in to say I was picking up keys. THen I took 15 minutes to get a deli sammich, a bagel, and slow leisurely walk to work. I was Thirty minutes late, and immediately walked into heck. Admist all this, the facilities manager called to say that he was going to look at the project I need him to do, but that I really probably didn't need to come. 8( Damn. I said okay...even though the more I think about it, the more I think I should be there. But there is another meeting where I WILL be there. It's just that he is so mysterious. He is like one of the head honchos over at facilities, he is young with a soft spoken voice and a pony tail!!!! What?? HE is so young and rebellious it seems. ... ...

[Two hours later]

Ha! I got invited after all. It seems it turned into a big mess up there without me to explain a few things. 8) Now, I have to clean up the mess again. Stupid politics. If people just didn't jump to so many conclusions everything would be fine. I still have an andreline rush.

Why is it that my family blames me for "being better than them"? My brothers had the EXACT same opportunity that I did (in fact the older two had an even better start than I did...they got something like 6K...I only got 2)...if anyone has the exact same start and beginning in life...it would be your siblings. Therefore, why are then mean...envious of me? It was choices...I made choices...they made choices. I would understand a little better if one of them had a different upbringing than me, but the truth is, they didn't. I don't think I should be judged harshly for making better choices than they did. I don't think it is fair that I should be punished.

Ohh, Diary of Dreams is on. They are SO dreamy!

Sunday I got up early and wrote some letters, worked on the website (check it out at www.wazika.net ) where I added the "excerpts' part. It is still a little rough and needs some work, but a good start. We went out and met Sigrid and Matt for dinner, it was nice. They gave us a bubbling fountain christmas present. I assembled it immediately. I am working on creating a new look for our apartment. Doing one little section at time until I am happy with it. I would be happier if I could paint the walls though. 8( I bought one of those bamboo shoot look a like things too. Where you put it in water. So I put some rocks from an extra bag we got for the aquarium in a beaker and put the stick in it, and put it int he living room. OH I also vacuumed and did the dishes (and tim mopped the kitchen floor). Our apartment is looking pretty good lately. We even cleaned up the room a little last week. I just need to finish the laundry and start reworking the look of the room and we are set.

I wish I was an author. I wish I could stay home. But when reading my short stories (right now reading the mutant files....there are so many authors that have written SO much....and yet I have never heard of them...would I be that kind of writer????).

I know I haven't written in awhile. But really, if you consider all the emails I send daily...then. Then there was that whole work thing. Being super busy doing it. You know what sucks? When you find yourself being crunched for time, not being able to do the things you want to do while at work (because that pesky work is getting in the way). So I decided I would focus and get the stuff done...work hard and clear and straight...and get it done. But I have noticed that it only somehow produces more work. Why is that?

Next month is my work evaluation. I am a little nervous considering the horrible way it went last year. You see, last year I apparently had a GOOD evalution (even though nothing was above a 6). I wonder what this year will bring. I am reminding myself not to get too worried over it because we might very well be moving anyway. And it is...after all...only a job. And I KNOW that I am not going to fired.

Other than that, it was super warm this last week. It's nice because I get more energy, and feel more awake. I have been trying to keep going to bed a decent time, so I can wake up a whole hour before I got to work and have a little cappicino. (boy was that spelled wrong).

BB wants to get a dog. His sister said she could get him a husky/collie mix for 20$. There is the little problem of our apartment not letting us have dogs, EVEN though many people in this apartment building do have dogs. They are so much responsiblity though! All that getting up and walking them, and then getting it adjusted to the cats and training it. Maybe though. I am warming up to the idea more and more. Our kitchen is big enough for a kennel.

Is calling children by their order of birth a common custom among other ethnic groups? For example, in Ho-Chunk, I am known as (phonetically spelled) He Nu, which means first daughter. My older brother was Ku Nu, and my second oldest brother was Hey Na. That is all my De Ga and Ga Ga, and Chüoinees would ever call me. Trust me, that was really confusing at a big Ho-Chunk Pow-wow or feast to have someone yell "He Nu!" Because me and 10 other girls would look around.

Would you like to hear my brother's reaction on the website I threw up for him, which you can see here

"Well Laura pretty funny what it is that you went and done."

What? How many of you can say that three times fast?
He is graduating High School this year. I have to go to the graduation ceremony.
I am itching already.

So far today, I actually wrote the obession piece I was working on. I just need to rewrite it and I am good to go. Wow, a whole week behind the writing assignment due. That's a record. I had to take time to write it today, because I had started to combine the writing idea with the next one, which is 'monsters'.

I was bad and didn't take a walk at lunch. I HAD to get what I was doing done. I was so close, and you know sometimes if you walk away from something you almost have finished? Then when you come back you don't finish it, because it takes a while to figure where you were? Well, that is what I was afraid of, so I didn't go anywhere. I just kinda hung out around here again, and at my chili. I will take a walk after work, and do something. Although I wonder if Buffy is a new episode tonight? [just checked and it is another sucky rerun]. I should use the time tonight to do some stuff on the computer, but BB got two new games...one is this super hero one with cheesy stereotypes and the other is Heros of Might and Magic four.

Things I have to do this week:

1. Make new personal cards
2. Write the week over due obsession piece
3. Work on updating the book
4. Write Erin penpal
5. Do an FB
6. Do Kersten's Church Website
7. Write email
8. Work on implementation of writing experiments onto website
9. Make a mix CD (if you want a copy ...let me know!)

I had a good weekend! Would you believe. On Friday night I went to this crappy bar for a drink or two with Bugboi's work gang, and then out for margaritta's afterward, but since most of the them had started drinking at 1.00 in the afternoon, they were pretty much wrecked. So, we went home and BugBoi went to bed, and I stayed up to watch the first of that last four episodes of Farscape. Unfortunatly, I was tired, so I fell asleep 17 minutes into it, an woke up 17 minutes into Lexx, wondering what the hell was going on. 8( Turns out I didn't miss much anyway.

Saturday I got into a fight with Bugboi, and so I left to go see Lord of the Rings again. Surprisingly enough, the theater was still pretty packed AND they had a five minute trailer for the Two Towers at the end! I was very excited, and please to see Gandolf's return...with combed hair. If that is all it takes, to become a mighty wizard (combed hair), then I could become a very rich and powerful person indeed. After the movie, and a flower from BB, we decided to go a party that Aric invited us too. A birthday party as I later found out. Usually we hate going to parties because we always stand uncomfortably in the corner, wondering why we came in the first place and drinking too much. The night turned out well because I ran into Mischa again. BB and I had gone to their Labor Day Barbecue via Aric, and had a good time, and he had shown up at our Christmas party. In any case we made tenative plans for this week to have a SciFriday. I am excited.

Finally, someone else to watch these shows with AND have IT be the something to do. [As opposed to those who think staying in Friday to watch TV is lame and a last resort]

I went to the library for lunch today, and he told me that i had to have a proof of residence and photo ID!!!! I can't fucking believe it. I was so angry...and told him all they said was that I had to have a card. No nothing about proof of residence. Dude, I have a fucking card already. I HAD to have the shit to get that card to begin with, so why would I have to prove it again?

Stupid libraries. They piss me off. But this guy was nice. He was one of those new agey, folk type dude that plays in a band still, and has (what little there is) in a stringy pony-tail, coupled with the voice that just drips with "I am SO much better than you" geekiness...that geeks tend to believe after some time. You would be surprised how many gamers I have noticed have evolved themselves into thinking they *truly* are better than others. You should have heard this man on the phone!!!! Government workers really don't have to be nice do they?

Anyway, I showed my staff ID card, my WI ID card, and the stupid library card and he registered it with Evanston. Of course after I pick my three books, a short story collection revolving around mutants (Called the Mutant Files) , a short story collection of alternate history (called "The Best Alternate History Stories of the 20th Century), and a book called "Past the Size of Dreaming".

Success. Finally, but not easily given. OH, and on another complete unrelated note, I put up a salon.com ad to see if I can meet any new interesting people. There HAS to be other cool people in the Chicago area. Right?

I think I might be having a bad day. All the signs point that way at least.

This morning I woke up at 6.30AM wondering why the alarm was going off at 6....thinking that wasn't right. But then I remembered that Tim has to go to work early on Wednesdays. Then I couldn't get back to the full glory, of sleeping in later than someone else sleep.

I come into work and forget my work keys for the SECOND time in a row. Which wouldn't be a big deal, expect that yesterday I actually needed them to open a door, and the my supervisor's keys couldn't get it open (when I know that mine could....) and then she made a big deal about me bringing mine today and comparing them. Forgetting keys? That is a sign of irresponsibility? I can't help it. It isn't that cold right now, and they are in my long black coat pocket. I am hoping to not bring it up today, and she will forget it. We will *both* conviently forget.

Now I find out that I have to let the temp that we have had for .... two days? Today is the third day... I have to let him go. 8( It just makes it sad because he is the boyfriend of the other temp that we have right now, and ....I know what it is to be let go from a temp position. Goddamnit, why can't temps be Not-Real People? Why do they have to be human beings? And most importantly, why is it that I have to do the letting go? It sucks. Sure I get my own office, but I am bringer of bad news. Oh, I have to let him go because the reason he was hired for...photocopying crap fell through. So now I am having a super hard time finding stuff for him to do.

And I have only been here for 30 minutes.