Also....



Hurray!!

I as going to do a big picture post but Athena isn't feeling very well and is currently attached to my boob. So instead I am siting up in bed with one arm cradling her. She is starting to doze off now while comfort sucking while I peck this post out with my right hand. We think she has a sore throat because she will cry after swallowing sometimes, her voice is very hoarse, she will pop on and off any cry, and has been wanting to sip nurse a lot. Other than that there is no fever and bless her little soul--willl smile and be engaging. I gaver her second dose of tylenol ever about 15 minutes ago so hopefully that will kick in soon and she'll start feeling better.

Today was one of those harder days. Morella woke up hysterical at 6 and wouldn't settle back down. I went in there since I was up from just feeding Athena at 5:30 and read her a few books before laying down to warm up on her trundle bed. She never did go back to sleep and when Tim got up she went and had breakfast while I dozed a little longer.

The rest of the morning she would vacillate between being okay, clingy, demanding, sweet and short tempered. I shocked myself by getting us out the door and to the playgroup at Lazy Jane's for brunch. I had a half caf while Morella clung to my knees for the most part when she wasn't crying about other toddlers taking her toys or getting in her personal space. Thankfully Athena slept for most o..

Shit! A spider just dropped down beside me JUST as Athena finally went to sleep. I was incapacitated and so I called Tim in to take care of it for me. Hurry! Except he can't hurry because he in the middle of some stupid game. Finally after ten years he comes in -- angry with me for disturbing him and tries to pinch the spider mid air. Yeah like that is going to work. It falls down on me, narrowly missing Athena's head by centimeters and then he frantically smashes down on the pillow where the spider might have fallen. Needless to say Athena is not asleep anymore and that is the end of this post. Stupid effing game. Now to try and put her to sleep again.

We just got done watching X-Men Origins: Wolverine and much to our shock and dismay discovered that we ourselves are housing a mutant - The Incredible Insomniac Baby.

The Christmas shrub is still undecorated or even plugged in. I put the boxes on the back of the couch where Pluto sleeps to get them out of the way.

Sick is the order of the day. Yesterday I felt sniffily but just thought it was another stage of the great mucous evacuation from Tim's cold the other week. As the night drew on, I realized that it was getting worse and my eyes were watering and bless it it all -- it's another freaking cold. :( Boo.

So today felt like pretty much of a waste. I took a nap. Canceled evening plans with an out of town family that I haven't seen since August. Nursed a snacking and cat napping Athena all day. Watched Star Trek -- pretty good movie! I almost felt like afterward that I wanted to call "them" up and say "Good job! Do another one!"

Sigh.

Athena is fussing at my side and won't sleep unless I am holding her. Problem being I can't hold her and type at the same time. Tim took Morella to the grocery store to buy some food and get her more milk. He had gone last night and had gotten her 8th Continent Vanilla Complete...which seems like it should be just like 8th Continent Vanilla Soy - -but it isn't. For one it has 20 fewer calories per serving and only 10% more calcium and phosporus. What on earth do you need phosphorus for? Anyway. They were out of her usual so he tried subbing it. I tried giving it to her this morning and she took one sip, gave it a suspicious look and asked "What's this?"

Can't pull a fast one on her.

Okay Athena is still crying. I guess I have to hold her some more. We also got X-Men Wolverine today so maybe I'll be watching that tonight since someone doesn't think she can sleep without warm, comforting arms possible bouncing and probably the boob.

"Let's go get the Christmas tree!" I told Morella. "It's downstairs." She nodded in agreement and we headed downstairs. I immediately took her to the workroom where the 4 1/2 foot, artificial tree I got 9 years ago in Chicago was stuffed into an old garment bag. I lifted it up and gave Morella a small wreath that has seen four, full years attached to the front of our door to "help" me out. As we were going back up the stairs she started pulling out greenery from the wreath and then immediately discarded it by the cat boxes upon entering the kitchen.

I took the tree to the living room and about an hour later was able to start putting it up. I moved the coffee table by the window, moved a bookshelf out of the way and figured out how I could use a bungee cord to wrap the tree onto the top of the table so it won't fall off. Athena then wanted to eat, so I sat down to feed her and instructed Tim to work on the tree.

He goes over by the tree and stands there confused. "What is this supposed to be?" he asked.

"Tree," answered Morella. We all praised her marvelous powers of observation -- "Yes that is a tree! Good job!"

He starts poking at the sad little tree. "Is this supposed to be the top?" He gestured to a lone stick of greenery, rising a good 10 inches above the rest of the tree. "And what is wrong with this branch?" He lifted up a branch that had broken off.

"Do you want me to fix it?" I asked.

"Yes because I can't do anything with this sad sack of .... tree," he said and dry washed his hands of the our Christmas Tree miracle. "Come on Morella, let's go downstairs."

I later reminded him that I had wanted to buy a better tree for the last several years but he always said "What's wrong with the one we have?" Apparently, this year he can't even recognize it as a tree.

Tim's parents came later on to give Morella her birthday present, and said that they have four trees and we could have their six or seven foot one. Score! Only..how do we get it home? Hmm.

Anyway. Check out Morella's latest toy bling -- she has so many awesome things now. A kitchen. A car. A food cart and now this:



For the moment we are only using the tunnel. I think I'll set up a tent or tepee later on during the winter when the car has lost it's shine, or ran out of batteries.

I feel kind of bad for Athena. She'll never need any toys or presents because we have everything that is awesome already by way of Morella.

I think 7 hours and some change of driving in one day is the limit for traveling with two young kids and their parents. We made it. We left at 7 this morning. Got there around 11ish and left at 5:30 when Morella said we had to go. Got home at 9:30. Put a weepy Morella to bed and nursed a very hungry Athena to sleep. I am tired too, but for the love of posting here I am quickly getting in a post before crashing myself. It just looks too good, especially since our alarm started going off at 4 this morning and I went to bed at midnight with no car naps.

All of my dishes were a hit -- even my dairy free pumpkin pie which Tim said was too spicy (and Morella agreed by emphatically spitting it out and smooshing it into Tim's outstretched hand). I left it all there including a dishtowel and took my dishes so we have no leftovers. I miss leftovers. :( Especially turkey because my stepdad Frank does such a great job at roasting a turkey. He also always tells the same joke every year about the gravy being lumpy and the mashed potatoes being smooth.

Morella got another birthday present -- some pajamas sized 5T, two tinkerbell long sleeved shirts and a doll with hand made outfits. She has a ton more hand made outfits here that I bought home last time that I'm going to give her at Christmas. Truth be told, I think she is a bit too young to really appreciate all the awesome clothes and doesn't know quite how to dress and undress dolls. I think I might put them all away after she gets them until she is old enough to appreciate the awesome.

I think it's kind of sad of me to do this, but I feel like saving all the things that my Mom does for future gifts because she might not be around to give her more much longer. It's kind of a way to leave a legacy or have her included in my daughters lives.

Ugh. Sleep. My eyes feel like glue. Happy Thanksgiving Day!

Also my brother loved the shirt I got him "Got land? Thank an Indian." I would have gotten it for myself except that I don't like wearing statement T-shirts anymore. Plus, it looks better on him.

Man for a minute there I thought I forgot to post yesterday! Whew!

Today was busy. Got up. Drove Tim to work. Stopped at Daisy Cupcakery afterward for breakfast with Morella and Athena. I asked Morella if she wanted to go home or to a coffee house and she said coffee house. We hadn't left the house for two days...well wait no we left last night to pick up Tim but in that case Morella didn't leave the car. She often wants to leave the house now to go to a "store." Awww.

She behaved wonderfully and even ate some. This woman started talking to me when I was distracting Morella (at the end) with a dog tied to the front about the girls and how Athena looks like me. I had noticed her two girls and said that one looked like her father and one took after her as well and wondered at the age difference between and imagined that was how Morella and Athena would be when they are older. I asked if she was going to or having her own Thanksgiving with the family. She said she was from Seattle (speaking of which every time I talk to an out of towner it seems they come from Seattle). I said we were doing a day trip to my Mom's because Morella isn't good at sleeping in different places right now -- especially hotels. She commented that later on she will love hotels. Ha ha I do believe that. I still like hotels.

Anyway. I asked her if she ever had any of her own Thanksgivings and she said a few when they couldn't travel back. She asked if I had any and I said no. She asked if I looked forward to that, and I said "NO because it means someone will have died. So it's a mixed bucket I guess."

I took the kids home after that and got Athena to sleep in her cosleeper after two tries. I then played with Morella gave her lunch. She gobbled down her favorite food ever -- Easy Mac and then took a nap. A nap that only lasted an hour before she woke up screaming hysterically. I went in there and tried to figure out what she wanted: milk? no. Pillow? No. Blankets? No. Lights? No. Door open? No. Washed hands (she was dry washing her hands). No. Finally I shut the door on her for five minutes hoping she would calm down enough to tell me what the heck she wanted. Five minutes passed and she kept screaming. So I went back in there and picked her up. I held her for about 10 minutes before sitting down and rocked with her for another 10 or 15. Then I took her back to her room and laid her down where she was quiet for another 20-25 and then got up. I don't think she slept, she just needed quiet time.

But after that, whoa boy. She was a meltdown factory over every little thing. I despaired at how the rest of the evening was going to be as it was only 4:00 when I remembered ... "Do you want to go to the basement?" She stopped whining/crying and said "Yeah" with that half desperate laugh that kids do. Off we went to the basement where we stayed until 6:30 with one break upstairs to change Athena's diaper and get Morella her milk. She was very insistent that I not dally either.

At 6:30 I fed her canned chicken noodle soup, watermelon, salad (she likes it) feta, and sunflower seeds, while I had a salad and leftover strogonaff. Then Tim came home. He helped with Athena and Morella while I finished getting some recipes together for the food I am bringing tomorrow. Morella went to bed late at 8 because Tim was having fun playing with her and her cut-able wooden fruit. I meanwhile tried to put Athena down who was tired so I could get cooking. She would go down right away but then comfort suck. Every time I tried to leave she as crying within five minutes. Ugh!

Around 9 she was still up and Tim had to go and get Pluto. I had a few minutes to make the dairy free pumpkin pie while he got her so at least that was started. Then I popped in a movie - Rebecca and settled down on the glider with Athena. She nursed to sleep in less than three minutes. I rocked her for about 20 minutes before putting her to bed where she finally stayed asleep. She's has that gunk in her head that is draining so she's been really touchy lately.

Then I finished the pie, made peanut butter cookies, green bean casserole (with cheese) and a sweet potato casserole. There are some other things I would like to do, such as put together the stuff I want to bring my Mom because we are planning on leaving at 5:00AM to get the most driving time while children sleep. I know I won't remember all that stuff tomorrow, so it's best to just have it ready to pick up and walk out. I didn't get Morella's stuff though. I think I might just pack her clothes and have her change when we get to my Mom's. Same with Athena...no wait, I have to change her because she is wearing a sleep sack. Nutz. Well that shouldn't be a big deal. She's easier to do than Morella.

And here I am posting. I am looking forward to being done with the posting every day thing. I have a feeling that some of you are looking forward to me being done with it as well.

Athena has been having a hard time draining the snot in her head. I'll admit we all have been having a time of it because it's just taking so freaking long to get out. The only one unaffected is Morella. Maybe. I mean she has been complaining of what we think are headaches the last week so maybe her sinuses are funky too.

Anyway. Athena wouldn't sleep more than 45 minutes today. Tonight I tried to put her down but she was having none of it. Instead of frustrating myself trying to put her to sleep before doing anything I accepted that she's just a little baby still and it's entirely okay to hold her while I rock in the glider and watch a movie. After all, I never get to do that sort of stuff with Morella anymore -- she's too wiggley.

I watched Neverwas, which had quite the list of stars in it. I paid attention the entire time but in the end was left feeling a little weird and sentimental about my children.

I looked at some of the pictures on my camera from the last week and saw a few where someone else had taken a photo of us singing Happy Birthday to Morella and me holding up her cake to her as Tim held her. She was a little overwhelmed by playgroup being at our house. Maybe because she had just gotten a bunch of new toys and here comes a load of kids who want to play with them before she's had a chance to play with them. I was appalled at how ... old I look. I look old, and hunch backed and fat and blah blah blah. I know, I know. I am still allowed to look like this. It took a long time to get this like this -- especially since there was no breaks in between from pregnancy, to breastfeeding to pregnancy to breastfeeding again where my body really had a chance to snap back. I know it probably really won't do so for another 2-3 years. Still, sometimes it's gets me down to think I look like I am 45 or something when I'm not.

It got me thinking about how Morella and Athena don't care what I look like. They think that I am the most wonderful human being on earth -- right next to Daddy. In the next few years as they get a little older they will also think that I am absolutely gorgeous -- and that thought is beautiful and comforting. Most children think that of their parents whether they deserve it or not for the first 10 or so years. I think it's really cool that they will base their opinions on me based on love.

I was all over the place today. Elated with my babies, playing in the basement and upstairs. Then tired because no one wanted to take dual naps and they were too short and desperate to think of a way to pass the hours until bedtime. To being patient and trying to enjoy time with both of them, which is difficult when one isn't feeling too well and the other wants so much to sit on and snuggle with the helpless baby. Eventually I put Athena in the swing and swung her into an hour nap -- thank goodness. She doesn't usually fall asleep in the swing. She prefers to be in bed and go from there, but she needed the movement and quiet lullabies.

Morella, meanwhile, helped me wash dishes, turn her light on and off a gazillion times (both of which are because she learned the true power of dragging a chair or something to where she wants to go and stand on it), drew on a chalkboard with me for awhile, watched a slide show of pictures from September 2008 (she was such a baby then! That was only last year!) and finally get dressed enough to run some errands in the car. I dropped off some mail at the post office, returned a cake container to a friend, picked up Tim at work because he was stranded without rain gear to get home, and finally to Burger King for a whopper dinner. Tim asked her where she was while we were waiting in the car line and she replied "Eat."

Great. She knows fast food. Ha. Well, you know it's really sometimes the easiest thing with two really little ones in the car.

I'll work on pictures tomorrow.

He Said She Said: Morella's Birth Story

The morning of November 22nd was the start of Thanksgiving Day. I was 12 days overdue, only less than 1 centimeter dilated and 50% effaced and despite trying everything under the sun except Castor oil we admitted defeat and agreed to be induced. Instead of packing up to head to Tim's parents (as it was there turn for Thanksgiving) we packed our hospital bags and headed to St. Mary's after Tim cooked up an egg breakfast with toast. We checked in around 5:00AM and waited around for the doctor to come in and talk to us the process. Cervidil was inserted around 6:00, and the fetal monitor and IV's were placed. The nurse who inserted the needle messed up big time and rendered my left hand practically unable because a huge bruise formed over the top. I was angry about it later because it helps to have both hands when in the throes of labor. Plus, you know, it hurt. While we waited for the magic to start I worked on an needlework ornament for the baby very carefully as not to cause me further pain. . I watched a movie and some TV while Tim slept on the couch, updated my blogs and waited for my cervix to start dilating.

Hi, wazika fans. This is the DH guest-blogging live from the hospital. They've got wireless access, which is pretty cool. Anyway, the induction process has commenced. The DW is a fingertip dilated and 50% effaced, and they'll be checking again at 10:30 am. As you may know, gentle readers, there's really no way to predict how long this will take. If we're lucky it will go quickly. But, in my uneducated and amateur opinion, this could take a little time.

posted by hadjare @ 7:06 AM

The doctor had said that it often takes two administrations of cervidil before they they start the picotin. Thankfully that wasn't the case for us. About an hour or two after it was inserted I started to feel like I was getting my period cramps. Not the full blown crampiness that you get when the communists rush the fort, but more like the twings from the day before.

I, the DH, have humbly returned to provide additional information for all you birthing fans. We have conflicting measurements from two doctors, with dilation somewhere between 2-4 cm, and effacement around 60-70%. What they agree on is that the DW is progressing nicely. Contractions continue at 2-3 minute intervals, but have not started causing much pain. Bacon bit is currently awake and making the fetal monitor emit swishing noises to the back beat of her heart. The DW is requesting tea, so I must away. posted by hadjare @ 10:55 AM

The cervix check from the first doctor, one of my original OB's was okay. I was able to hack it even though I have a very high cervix. However his shift ended at 7 that morning. The next doctor was brutal and I screamed and told her so and thereafter was very reluctant to have anyone near my cervix. At this point they had decided I was ready for the pitocin to start.

No real progress from earlier. Mild, regular contractions continue, but we're just hanging out, with me reading a book and the DW watching a DVD. posted by hadjare @ 2:20 PM

I sent Tim off to get something to eat and possibly hand our house keys off to our friends Sigrid and Matt to take Pluto for the weekend. We had to wait for them to come back from Thanksgiving dinner. While he was gone I took the advice of the nurse and started walking circles around the nurses station with my IV pole. I got a lot of smiles from folks and encouragement but after about 15-20 minutes I started to get bored and ... dare I say it? Uncomfortable and tired. Five minutes back into my room, I felt a gush down yonder. No one was there for me to excitedly yell that my water broke for another five minutes. Instead I just sort of wobbled over to the bathroom all bowlegged and sat down on the toilet for a while. When I wiped and saw bloody show with the water was when I got my first real electric shock. This was really it. I was going into real labor!

Water broke at ~4 PM. DW dubbed it the arrival of the Three Big Gushes (she said I could quote her on that). The doctor is going to check conditions in about an hour. The DW is currently perched on a birthing ball, doing cross stitch, and flipping through the channels on the TV. posted by hadjare @ 4:14 PM

I was trying to take it in stride and relax, but that was hard to do since the contractions had kicked it up a couple of notches. The pitocin was ramped up to it's highest dose and my pain tolerance was wavering, after all I had been at this all day. The birthing ball wasn't doing the magic that I thought it would. I didn't help the ball I was on felt too squishy and perched on top of a towel with a gimpy hand and monitors, IV's and tubes everywhere made it hard to be keep my balance and be comfortable. I gave up on the stupid ball and took the nurses suggestion of a bath in the big wide tub.

The DW is currently 'relaxing' in the tub, and having pretty frequent contractions. She's told me to shut up at least twice while she breathed through one. The baby monitor can be a hassle, and the DW is finding it difficult to get a comfortable position while trying to balance all the cords and whatnot. She asked me if she could get an epidural so she could take a nap. I said that I didn't think those things were intended to be used recreationally. A anonymous source related to me, the humble DH, would bet, if they were the betting sort, that Bacon Bit will arrive within the next two hours. So far, the Bit has been bucked all predictions, so I remain skeptical. In related news, a friend of ours has graciously gone to feed our pets. We are extremely grateful, and indebted to this kindness. posted by hadjare @ 6:18 PM

Relaxing is hardly what I would have called floating around in that big tub with the telemetry IV pole. I couldn't get my right hand wet and my left hand, as I mentioned was gimpy, so it was me mostly figuring out a way to stay upright and not end up floating on my back in the water. It was nice that it was hot and a few contractions felt a teeny bit more manageable, but not for long. While I was in there the phone rang. The anonymous source was Tim's mother insisting that she drive all the way down to Madison because she was sure that the baby was going to be born soon. The idea of having any one other than the nurses, the Dr. Ungentle and Tim there horrified me. I told him under no circumstances should she come. I was also beginning to wonder where the heck my epidural was. I had never said that I wanted an unmedicated birth and the contractions were fast, furious and hard. However, the main nurse was under the impression that I did want it to be natural. I won't say "all natural" because, you know, I was being induced. After about 30 minutes I gave up on the tub and got out. I rested on the toilet because the contractions were so painful. I couldn't imagine walking back to the bed, but that is also where I wanted most to be. I believe at this point I started to swear and cry that I wanted pain medication and I wanted it now! Tim conveyed this to the nurse, she apologized for misunderstanding me earlier and put in the order for the epidural. I asked whether or not my back surgery would affect my chances of getting an epidural and they said it wouldn't. Thank goodness!

Ahhh, sweet relief!!!!

The anesthesiologist just finished placing the epidural, and the DW is now relaxing comfortably with some classical music playing in the background. The lights have been dimmed, and she is attempting to take a nap.

The latest medical jargon thrown my way is that dilation remains at 5 cm, but that the cervix has moved all the way forward and baby is in Station Zero (Copy, Red Two! Check your six!). posted by hadjare @ 8:39 PM

The placement of the epidural wasn't that bad. The anesthesiologist was able to get it in over the span of two contractions. Sitting there as still as can be during those contractions was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but the promise of relief was worth it. Minutes after he was finished I felt a flood of warmth take over and I was finally able to relax for the first time since that morning. The nurses suggested I take a nap and I heartily agreed in attempting it. Mostly I just wanted some peace and quiet to lay there and reflect. The peace lasted for an hour, before the contractions started creeping in. I told Tim and the nurse that the epidural was loosing it's effectiveness and they in turn told me to push the button and switch laying from side to side. I did as instructed but the pain was increasing exponentially. [Current readers will know that the epidural was ineffective because of my broken back and the relief I did feel was from the spinal shot which only gives relief for an hour -- two tops].

Another rotating of the guard is about to occur. A nurse change is coming up, and we will be bidding a fond farewell to our third nurse during our stay. Contractions are strong, but irregular. Baby is really coming down. The current nurse, the resident-on-duty, and this faithful scribe all agree that it looks like Bacon Bit will be born on the 23rd. While it remains within the realm of possibility that she will show up on the 22nd, she seems to be taking her time. I'm sensing a theme, and already dread the implication that waking her up to go to school will be an Herculean task.

It's time for another cup of coffee for me. Alas, the DW is limited to ice chips, the price of an epidural. posted by hadjare @ 10:36 PM

I was sad that my nurse was going off duty. As it was, she stayed on an extra half an hour past her shift to encourage men and help me along. At 11:10 or something she checked me again and said I was fully dilated. I said I wasn't ready and she said to just try and labor down for an hour so that when I started to push it would be faster. The next check was going to be from an OB around midnight and she said I would probably have to start then. Meanwhile, I labored down. My method was to grasp the side of the bed with my good arm and breath through each contraction. They finally lowered the pitocin because of the severity, however it didn't reduce the pain at all.

The doctor has uttered some sort of magic words about the cervix being complete. They gave DW the option to start pushing now, but she declined, choosing to 'labor down' a little longer. Her plan is to start pushing in about 30 minutes, but, if I may be frank, I do believe I heard her attempt to bargain with the doctor and nurse, suggesting that perhaps Bacon Bit could kick her way out. The DW still entertains a small hope that it will be just like Morticia Addams in Addams Family Values, and that she will experience only the mildest of discomfort accompanied by a dainty exclamation. May it be so! posted by hadjare @ 12:05 AM

After my cervix was checked and they said I could start, I said I would wait a little longer. They let me stall for about 20 - 30 minutes before telling me I needed to get started. I said I didn't know what to do and they said to go with the urge to push. I said I had no urge to push. I didn't know how to push and then they said the classic "Pretend that you having a bowel movement." With that inspiration in mind I started to push. In truth, my real inspiration was to imagine myself as a tube of toothpaste and envisioned that that I was squeezing the paste down from the top. Sort of like starting from my sternum and pushing downward. So it was that I began the final journey of the pregnancy.

About an hour into pushing the nurses began having real difficulty keeping the fetal monitor on my belly. They kept loosing her heartbeat, and often times it would vary widely each time there was a contraction. They conferred with the doctor, Tim and myself and said they were going to insert an internal monitor onto the baby's head. I agreed--mostly because I would finally be rid of that wretched external belly strap and have more freedom in movement. Once installed we saw that the baby was doing fine and just how strong those contractions were at which point they turned the pitocin off.

About ten minutes after that, in a blur of commotion in which Tim later said scared him for the first tie--a nurse came in and told me I needed to get on my hands and knees immediately. I did as she said right away because there was a low urgency to her tone. Once on my hands and knees apparently the baby's heart rate returned to normal and everyone breathed a huge sigh of relief. Once in this position, I realized it was way better than anything else I had tried, except I couldn't support my weight well with an iv on top of my right hand a huge bruise covering the other. I said as much between contractions and they suggested raising the back of the bed to the highest it would go and I would lean against it. It was this position that I stayed for the next two hours with Tim at my head counting for me.

I had him count for a span of eight over and over. They were able to see when a contraction was starting on the monitor before I felt it and Tim would tell me so I could get ready and maximize the pushing for the full counts. I was usually able to get three good, eight count pushes in - sometimes four before gasping for air and the millisecond of relief between the waves of agony.

Finally at about 2:30 the doctor and nurses told me I should lay back down on my back to deliver. I didn't believe it was really going to happen but moved into position anyway. I hated being on my back, but I hated being in labor even more and if I was going to get a baby by laying there, so be it. Tim later said that 15 minutes later everyone was gearing up quickly covering everything and everyone in blue but himself. He wondered why it was that he didn't get protection.

Pushing a baby out was incredibly hard. They asked if I wanted to feel down there and I said no. They asked Tim if he wanted to see and he said no (we had already discussed this before). I wanted Tim up by me, counting and giving me encouragement. At 2:43 AM, with one final push I felt a slippery, rubbery mass come out of me. She immediately started crying and they asked if I wanted to hold her. I remembered that skin to skin immediate contact was supposed to be helpful in nursing so ripped the gown I was wearing down and they deposited an iron smelling, bloody, moist little baby onto my chest. I started crying because we were done. She was here. I said "We did it. We have a baby," and "Is it a girl?" to Tim who was himself a little misty eyed. He later said it was because I was crying. Oh please. It was that dimple on her cheek. ;)

I held her for a good ten minutes before asking of the whereabouts of the placenta. The nurse and OB had both been pummeling my abdomen and started massaging more in earnest. Nothing was happening and in fact I believe I started bleeding more. I told the Dr. Ungentle she had my permission to go in after it. The Doctor believed in part that the epidural should still provide some pain management when she did it -- but my friends, that was not the case. In fact, her first attempt at getting the placenta made me scream out like I was being murdered. It was the first time I had screamed like that since I had broken my back and had to get out of the car to a bed at the ER. I scared the doctor and she pulled out, empty handed. I said I needed something more so they administered morphine to the IV, waited five minutes and she tried again. Once again I screamed and screamed every second she was there. She withdrew and said I would need to be better medicated. Later on, I realize that what I really got was a D and C. I was bundled up and rolled into another section of the hospital for this emergency procedure and finally got some serious drugs to kill the pain. It was almost a little bit of heaven being strapped down on the table because I felt so good. There was no pain. No nothing. It took about an hour for the procedure to be complete. They administered antibiotics, I lost of a lot of blood but in the end they were able to get the retained placenta.

Finally, around 4:30 in the morning I was rolled back into the suite to really get a good look at my goo eyed little baby.

Bacon Bit's Secret Identity Revealed!!!

After 2 hours of pushing, Morella Adelaide entered the world at 2:43 am on Friday, November 23. For those of you betting at home, she was a little critter at 6 pounds 14 ounces, and 18.5 inches long. DW blames my side of the family for being little. She's doing really well. Her apgar scores were 8 and 9. The delay in posting was because the DW's placenta was being stubborn and wouldn't come out. DW needed a little help from the docs to get it out, which left me on baby duty for a bit. She has the cutest dimple on her left cheek, and she's got a crazy amount of light-colored hair.

posted by hadjare @ 4:35 AM

After it was all said and done people would ask me about the birth and labor. I don't think I talked about it too much other than to a few good friends. Since I had never had a baby before I figured it was as normal as birth could be. I couldn't really gauge whether it was a difficult birth or not. All labor is hard and it hurts. I mean, there is a wide range of what is normal and what one experiences. Every birth story is unique. It took me awhile to feel like Morella's story was unique because I was induced but I've since gotten over that. My story is Morella's story and I know she'll want to know it in the future days to come. Though of course that version is going to be more like this:

"It was Thanksgiving day and you were 12 days over due. It was a cold brisk day, and all was quiet in the hospital because everyone was having Thanksgiving dinner with their families. I had initially resisted having you on Thanksgiving day because I felt it was cliche and apparently you agreed because you came the next day, early in the morning with a shout to the world despite your diminutive size. A full head of blond hair and murky blue eyes and a dimple that would melt anyone you show it too. "

At least, until you know she is older. I will be printing this story tonight and tucking it into her journal.

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I'll post about how the day went tomorrow, since you've just got done reading a novella. :)

OH, I'm cutting it close to the wire! I had a lot to do this evening after Athena went down. I made and decorated a cake, swept and mopped the kitchen floor, did the dishes, cleaned the fridge, cleaned the table and counters, went to Woodman's, put the food away, wrapped Morella's presents, got the plates and snacks laid out for tomorrow morning and cleaned up the basement some more -- oh and washed and dried the diapers. Whew! Now I am posting. I am having playgroup here at my house tomorrow morning bright and early at 9:00 in honor of Morella's birthday. She is so in love with the basement playland and threw a huge tantrum because she had to eat dinner (second time). I am so glad that she likes it down there. I think it's best birthday present we really could have given her -- a whole area to play.

Crap. Athena is in the middle of the bed and Tim wants to go to sleep. I told him to move her over and be careful because I have to finish posting this by midnight.

In a few short hours from now, two years ago -- Morella bounded into our lives and changed it forever.

I'll give you a birth story tomorrow. Athena wants her Mommy.

omg - Toys R Us is the most ghetto store ever. I was able to put the toy cart together just fine based on review -- only to find out that it's missing TWO wheels!! wtf.

Now we have to drive all the way over there to replace it or get something else. This blows.

Ho boy. We bought Morella's birthday presents today over at Toys R Us. It was crazy busy there! Apparently they started doing door buster type stuff this weekend. At least it was a nice day for it.

Anyway. Since Morella can't read I am going to tell you what we got. Her Uncle Ben and Aunt Kelly sent along gift cards which bought Morella:
Happy Songs Coupe - Fisher-Price - Toys "R" Us


She saw us buy it and was very happy to leave the store with the box. It was something that has to be considered an "early birthday present," because we put it together for her in the basement after her long nap. When she had gotten up she saw the box and recognized the car and remembered it! Anyway. Half of it was already assembled and it had no instructions, and the screws and caps were in a ziplock bag! Thankfully, every thing was there and with my expert, problem solving brain I was able to put it together. To say that she loves it is an understatement. It was sort of a last minute idea while we were wandering around the store trying to avoid getting run over by other shoppers. Tim had taken me back to see a foam easy chair for 40$ that Morella seemed to like when we saw the power wheels. I then remembered how much she loves those little red cars that the community center and her grandmother have so I asked a sales person where they might be. He showed me, we had Morella test drive a few models (the Little Tykes were too small) before we decided on this one -- roomy, plays music, had a trunk, and a cup holder. Bonus it was on sale! So thanks Uncle Ben and Aunt Kelly!

As for us, we got her ... uh oh. I am looking at the reviews for the shopping cart to go with the kitchen -- and they are not favorable. I should try and assembling it tonight to see if it is indeed the garbage the say. Dang it.

We got her wooden cut able play food and two scheiss animals -- a cat and a pony (she picked them out).

Before that, I had also gotten her a bucket of farm animals, and some kitchen accessories from Target. All in all, we are excited for to open them.

The bit of bad news today is that she won't be getting her specialized fox themed birthday cake. My cake lady has had one of her troops fall ill with the H1N1 virus. All of you who were present last year for our memorable 'rotovirus' party favor will appreciate the the fact that we don't want to make her 2nd birthday be the H1N1 party. So that means sheet cake. I wonder if I should get one from Hy-Vee...hmmm.

Mother's Helper is coming over to help me do as much as I can in making the basement more fun, cleaning the house, etc. Tim has to work, so I appreciate the help more than you know.

Crap, we forgot to give Morella her medicine. I hate waking her up to do that. How many more days? Thursday ... today will be the last dose. Thank goodness!

Sorry to cut this short!

It was a good day.

Today was a very busy day. I got a bee in my bonnet about having clean carpets so I went to A to Z and rented a dry cleaning carpet solution type thing. I decided to do it outside because the Doppler showed the rain was north of us and to avoid filling the house with a chemical smell. For the record, it did not work as well as I would have liked and I think I will do it again with a steam cleaner come next spring/summer when all the rugs can dry outside faster. At least it was relatively cheap for $25 bucks, and it did freshen up all the rugs and remove pet hair.

Anyway. After I rented that I went to Wendy's for fries and a drink and then stopped at A1 furniture to see if they had any area rugs. I wanted to get a new one for Morella's room because the rug she had attracted dirt just too fast. I didn't find anything cheap or that I liked and the salesman there suggested I go to Menards.

I went to Menards and found AWESOME large area rugs for only $35! I got one for Morella's room and a foam mat thing with roads and a city for the basement play area. I get home, take out Morella's rug right away and put the new one in only to discover it was bigger than I thought...but later on made it work. Morella loves the new rug, and it really makes her room a whole lot cozier. Perfect for the cold winter that is coming.

I put Athena down. Went outside and laid out the rugs, applied the powder solution type stuff, worked it in, and then realized there was no way I would make it to the mall for play group. So I called Ann and Emily and said to come over to my place instead. Right after deciding that, I noticed it had started to rain. NUTS!

I went outside and moved some rugs to the garage and covered the others with tarps until the hour processing time was up and I could use the special bristle thing and vacuum it. Ugh. What a process and it was all hurried because I wasn't sure when Athena was really going to wake up or Morella and waiting for people to show up. It worked out because Ann and Emily were here by the time Athena and Morella got up so that I could finish the job outside. I then put the rugs back in the house, chatted a bit, got dinner started for Morella and Noah and then Karen the Mother's Helper came at 5:30 and started on the basement. Eventually we all decided to work on the basement and let the kids test drive it out while we brainstormed and arranged furniture, added homey touches and brought in toys. Those kids were in heaven! They had gone from squabbling toddlers to toddlers playing quietly for long stretches of time.

My only regret right now is that I forgot to take a before picture. There is so much more I want to do down there..like maybe paint the walls, add ...gasp! I could add a mural! Wouldn't it be cool to have like a fairy forest type mural? Oh my god I love this idea. Hilary, Laima? Lowen? My artist friends -- are you interested in finding me the perfect Christmas present?

Finally at 7:30 everyone went to bed and I got some precious computer time. I should be baking an apple pie with the peeled apples in the fridge and crust that I made last week instead of posting. Maybe I will do that after this post since I am now

done.

Two year visit: Morella

Our clinic just switched over to WHO standards for weight/height/head. What does that mean? It means Morella is back on the charts!

She did lost weight since last Thursday because of this weekends illness and lingering effects (which was also the explanation for her continued crankiness). She was 21.12 this time around. Boo. Even so...

21lbs 12 oz - 15% on the weight for age
34.5" = 72% height for age
42" = 48% circumference of head

However, she is lower in weight for height which drops her down to 2%. She is tall and lean, as the doctor said and following her curves perfectly and is just further reinforcement that it's genetic. I spoke with SIL Sarah last night about Zeland's weight at the 2 year and she said he was about 22-23 pounds. So the same as Morella, and that eventually he gained more closer to three years. I was also surprised to learn that Moslee had dropped down in the charts too to closer match her brother. I wonder if the same will happen with Athena? Right now she is tanker among babies. :)

Oh and I totally won Mom of the Year award for stepping away from Athena while she was on the examining table to get some hand sanitizer while the Doctor was in the room. She then said "oh don't leave the baby unattended!" and quickly stepped over to an inert, lump of a baby who was staring at the ceiling. Not moving.

That is totally okay to do at home but NOT in the public eye! [1]

Anyway. Her ears were looking much better, and while she was in the room Morella became a cheerful, little frog hopping around the floor and showing off in front of the doctor. A complete 180 from the toddler I had one hour ago at home and called Tim to help me at the doctors office because I was afraid I couldn't handle both if Athena woke up -- which she did.

Yeah essentially what she said was that she still probably has lingering effects from the nasty cold we all had, still sounds a little congested, and just needs another week or two to get over it. To be fair, Tim and I both are experiencing some heavy duty sinus pressure and stuffed up ness from this cold. It's fair to assume that Morella is feeling the same way. Still. As nice as it is to get a clean bill of health for Morella, and learn that she is on the charts again and completely normal -- I wanted an answer for this crankiness. Morella is like the actress in those infomercials where the announcer says "Can't open that pesky bottle? Put your pants on? Put that juice box on the table?" and it shows the actress fumbling around trying to such tasks only to give up in a crying heap? "Well we got the answer for you!"

Except there is no answer but time. Also her vaccines are being delayed a month because of the cold and her getting the H1N1 less than a month ago.

Thankfully both kids fell asleep on the way home and I was able to do a successful transfer in putting them to bed. Athena needed an extra long nursing session, but success was had. Do I attempt a shower?

1. No it's probably not okay to do at home either. :P

A quick and easy way to post is to post some photos. Athena once again didn't go to bed until after 10. At least tonight I saved myself a lot of frustration by handing her off to Tim when I knew she wasn't hungry and just going about my evening trying to fit in a few things I wanted to get done. The "white board - door" is working! I still need to work kinks out of it though.

I went for a long walk today with Morella and Athena, but first it started at the park. Morella wanted to swing and in order to lift her into the swing I had to put Athena somewhere. I considered the ground but then decided the other baby swing would suffice. It turned out to be Athena's first swing ride! Awww...




I liked the second picture because it captured how the sun feels to us -- apocalyptic. Much like the background.

Morella and her "Fox Hat." It was missing for a couple of days there but I refound it in the double stroller. Morella's other favorite hat is the duck hat. Animal themed hats are all the rage with toddlers.

My friend Carrie send a serious of wonderful packages to Athena and Morella. One of them contained this super soft, adorable kitty cat. Here we see Morella hugging the kitty and watching a Yo Gabba Gabba short.

Last week as Morella was being overly sensitive (the ear infection was starting) I had taken her to Happy Bambino to buy Athena a Sofie the Giraffe. She started to melt down as we were leaving the store and a Milo's is right there. I asked her if she wanted a snack and she said yes. We went in there and she ended up eating lunch and enjoying herself immensely. She really likes to go out to eat, and she really loves subs.

Anyway. After the park I decided to go for a long walk to try and get that massively painful sinus gunk out of my head. I walked over to Ann's and Morella and Noah had a quick lunch before I headed back. One block from the house they both started fussing, and ten minutes later everyone was asleep for a super long nap. It was totally awesome. I am thinking of taking these jokers for a long cold walk everyday!

Okay bedtime.

Ugh. The second time in a row Athena has stayed up after 10. At 9:30 I thought I was going to go mad with itching and so leaving a drowsy baby by herself I went to take a shower and goop up. Thankfully I didn't hear crying while showering but afterward while I was applying magical potions I heard Tim go in there and try to soothe her. She was having none of it, so he gave up and left. A few minutes later when I entered the room and told her to shush, she started to...but didn't stop crying until I picked her up. She was practically asleep when I offered her some milk and that just pushed her over.

But 10? I have a huge list of things that need to be done and I can't do any of it while she is awake. Or maybe I can. I will just have to pass her off to Tim so I can do it when I know darn well that she isn't hungry. Just awake. Tonight though I just wanted to watch some comedy and laugh because of what a horrible past few days it's been. I am starting to feel better, though the sinus junk in my head hurts when it shifts around. Thankfully it looks like Athena might have gotten the least of it.

We didn't leave the house again today. I didn't even bother changing any of us except Athena out of our pajama's. It was one of those low points in parenting where you just want everything to stop for a few hours so that you can regroup and get a breath. But today I had to settle for just being a competent mother instead of a great one. I kept thinking of the article in Good Housekeeping this month with Paula Deen when they asked her one of her regrets. She had said she wished she had spent more time with her kids. When the interviewer asked her what she had been doing instead she said "OH I don't know, cooking and watching TV I guess."

You know, that is how it was back then. The concept of real quality time was something that you did once in awhile, not all day. I remember growing up it seemed like my Mom was constantly finding ways to ditch us kids and go do something better and by herself like drive around. Though I learned now that my step dad actually had wanted to go on all those long drives in the car drinking. Huh. Still, when Mom was home she was immersed in her crafts and didn't want us kids bugging her (aka messing with her stuff). Though to be fair there were plenty of bedside chats. Hm. Then again, there were five of us so maybe she just divided her time the best she could. I don't think I suffered any by having to go play with my brothers all the time. I know for a fact that I am going to be shooing Morella and Athena out the door or off to play with each other plenty of times. How else do you help foster their imagination? That isn't to say that I don't intend on doing stuff with them and playing. Oh no, that is the fun part. The reason we go through weekends and days like this.

Alright. I have the playgroup coming over next Monday for some birthday cake in honor of Morella's birthday. That is all we are doing. We are going to let Morella open her gifts in the morning before people come over, sing happy birthday to her while she blows out two candles and then let her play. Tim will go in two hours late for the moment and that's it. Maybe we will have mac and cheese with hotdogs in it for dinner. It's already way more than I wanted to do, but I couldn't pass up great timing on her birthday/playgroup.

I am not yet where I would like to be regarding the basement. I had planned on doing a lot this weekend, but that didn't happen because we were focusing on getting through the day. I have been playing with the idea of doing a white board -- and idea I got from Hilary. You basically put the things that you want to do on little post it notes and put it up. That way you can break down bigger projects that seem overwhelming into smaller projects and eventually work your way through them. I feel like I have a thousand things I want to do and when I get the time I am not always sure I am working on what I should be working on. Though today I needed the rest. I needed to finish reading the Sunday paper, and then idly look at the internet and drink heavily honeyed tea and wait for tylenol to kick in. I couldn't nap because I wasn't tired enough, but at the same time I was too tired to do anything else but wish the hours would go by a little faster until I felt better.

I have been holding back on that idea because I didn't have a white board. I have two chalk boards down stairs that would do the same job but I felt like I needed the board up in order to even accomplish that task. Today in a moment of frustration I just wrote on a post it and stuck it on the office door. I added a bunch more through out the day. The problem wasn't the chalk board not being up or properly installed, it was me finding a way to procrastinate and hold myself back. Sometimes you just have do it to get started. You can always go back later and do it better.

I just hope that I am feeling awesome tomorrow morning. You know that awesome you feel after getting over a big sick? That energy you have that doesn't necessarily match up with your body, but it still feels great anyway?

It's late again. I hate posting so late. I really want to go to bed and forget about itchy legs, an aching back and stuffy nose. But because Athena is sick she didn't want to go to sleep until 10:20 -- six minutes ago. She hasn't stayed up this late in a long time! The only nice thing about this time is that Tim is able to soothe and console her, so I am not the only one that can do it. Now he just needs to remember how to put a baby to sleep through the art of bouncing.

Anyway. I am most definitely sicker today than yesterday. The day just dragged on and I wanted it to end. That is kind of a bummer about daylight's saving time and being sick is that the night time is endless. All of these even though we all took a three hour nap this afternoon and I tried to take it as easy as I could today. Being sick totally sucks and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little worried about Morella and her lack of weight gain. She is still only 22 pounds and because she's been sick hasn't been eating well at all for the last week. I had hoped she was up to 23 pounds .. who knows, maybe she was and then she got sick and is back to the 22 that I see. I hope it isn't below that on Wednesday. She's nothing but muscle and bones. We try very hard to give her a variety of foods doused with fattening things like butter and cream cheese, as well as leaving them out for her to graze on, offer three solid meals a day where we eat with her, always a dessert...sigh. You can't force feed a toddler to eat right? Furthermore, toddlers are like babies in that they won't purposely starve themselves, correct? OH geez Morella, just eat!

I noticed in my shower last night that my hair is starting to fall out. Three months. I guess that is about the same time it started happening with Morella. My hair was really long then still and I got a drastic hair cut to ease the loss (and manage the tub drain) with all that hair. I am considering another hair cut, but I am close to starting to grow it out. For what purpose though? I mean, I usually have my hair up anyway. Though, with long hair I can put it up way better than this stupid length where it goes into a lame looking ponytail. With long hair I can do sticks, up sweeps, braids, etc -- But then again in the last two years I have learned how awesome short hair can be. No brushing, little washing, no sticky little fingers grabbing at it (though they don't when it's up anyway). When it comes down to it, I like long hair, but I don't like it down. However I like long hairdo's when they are up. But I don't like short hair maintenance -- and you know I am afraid it looks mom like. Though I am a mom, so do with that what you will.

Why am I talking about this? Gah. I should go to bed. I wish I could take something awesome to help me sleep. I guess I could have made a cup of extra sleepy time instead of drinking diet 7-Up, but it's too late for that now.

Morella LOVES 7-Up, and since her fever finally broke today I feel like it really is a magic soda drink with special healing powers. I didn't leave the house today, but that's okay. I don't think I'll be leaving the house tomorrow either. Boo.

Happy Birthday to my husband Tim! What a rotten day you got -- we all got. Morella woke up with a fever of 103.6 and has been fighting it ever since. Tim has pretty much laid in bed all day. I definitely have a cold and would love to spend the day in bed myself to fight it off since I don't have sick days or time that I could do that, but instead I guess it's the least sickest person has to do everything.

This day kind of sucks.

It's days like these that blogging every day is kind of hard - but I'm doing it by gum. The morning started out okay. Tim spent the night with Morella and she got up only once at 5:30 at which point he gave her some tylenol. Morella managed to make it until 11 before her next dose with one small 30 minute self administered nap. Then when she was feeling better we went to HyVee for lunch and to get 2.25 pounds of king crab legs for only $17!!!! The food was pretty good too, great price. My only complaint was that it went cold rather fast, but that could also be because I screwed around after it was on my plate getting a little fruit salad together for Morella.

Athena slept, and we enjoyed our lunch, and after a little shopping (crab legs, donuts - she picked out one with sprinkles, 100 calorie packs -- which are the perfect size and variety for toddler snacks, death valley chipotle potato chips, and pumpernickel bread) we went home. Morella decided she didn't need an afternoon nap and instead I managed to get her to spend some time on the couch cuddling with me while reading Baby Bug magazines. Eventually she did go lay down in her bed for a quick cat nap and gave me 20 glorious minutes of overlapping peace and quiet which I used to furiously write in my journal and try to change my attitude about the day. I mean, you can either think the whole sucks because she is sick and whiny, and Athena is her cute little baby self needing her baby needs and Tim was rumored to be sick and I had a small case of the sniffles or I could just roll up my sleeves and get through it. After all, you can't have the awesome days unless you have days like this, right?

She was up at 5 and asking for food. I had to hold her in the kitchen and feed her bites of cut up pear, blueberry cream cheese and honey before she wanted to go back to bed. Tim came home around then and the rumor of him being sick was true. I haven't seen him this wrecked in a long time. His nose was already the color of rubies, his eyes were watering and every one of his sneezes made Athena jump with a look of "what the heck was that?" etched on her face. Morella didn't go back to sleep but instead go more and more irritable and short fused. When she melted down about me not taking her to the basement I decided to take her temperature. She looked flush and felt warmer to the touch. Her temp was 102.7, and that was three hours after a tyelnol dose! We gave her Motrin and waited. An hour later it was down to 101.9 and then an hour after that it was 101.9 -- so no change.

Do I need to say that this is going to be a long night?

What a lousy start to Tim's birthday. I was even going to take the girls out tomorrow morning so he could sleep in, but I can't do that now. He's stuck with us. I really hope Athena doesn't get this.

What do you get a kid on their anniversary of the worst ear infection ever?

You guessed it. Another bad ear infection. :(

On the bright side (if there is one) at least this year she was able to tell me what was wrong by pointing to her ear and saying "owie." She also said she wanted to go to the doctor and was very upset with the 30 minute wait in urgent care. She kept pointing to the offices in the waiting room and saying "owie" over and over. Finally, at 9:00 we were home with a prescription. Her motrin wore off after only three hours and we have been taking turns sitting at her bedside. Tim is going to sleep in her room with her until her time is up for another dose...which is now.

Day 11: One year ago today....




If we were living in modern times then we would probably have lost our little girl to Mastoiditis. You can read about that here. November had been such a crappy month because Morella refused the bottle at the beginning of the month which was cause for concern because I didn't know how else to give her thick liquids. I was able to get her to drink straight up EBM from a sippy cup but even then she was only averaging 6-8 ounces a day. She had a cold at the time I switched pediatrician's so they said it was that and a combination of teething. She got over the cold, but two weeks later had another slight sniffle (much like today) that cleared up in one day but then turned into her first and very massive ear infection. Of course, after that whole fiasco, Tim left for Seattle - I found out I was pregnant (a post for another day) and then we had her big first birthday party and gave everyone the violent Norovirus. Good times!

Even though she had the sniffles today, she had no temperature, took an okay nap and was in relatively good spirits for the afternoon. Athena however, has been a fussy little mess for the last two days. I blame the cheese I had in yesterday's sandwich for today's colicky behaviour. That on top of what I am sure is a growth spurt. I mean, I have had to use both sides several times just to appease the little tanker. But just in case it wasn't just a coincidence, I didn't take another claritin today. I get a little paranoid about milk supply sometimes. I blame it on that year of pumping.

Now one year later I have the coolest of little girls. The following three are from today:

Helping me in the kitchen. First she went through this whole horse and pony show about clearing a path to the counter and dragging a chair. There was an apple slice, a sock and a toy that were on the floor -- all of which she put away with a continuous chatter. Oh wait, you can see the apple slice there. Well, she was scooping tablespoons of flour into that pie pan (failed pie sugar strips) and helping mix up the crumble for the crisp. I got the point where you sprinkle it over the apples and asked her to help me. She did and then pretended to eat a bite. I said "You can try it if you want to. Go ahead." She picked up a piece and cautiously put it in her mouth. As soon as she realized it was butter, sugar, a bit of flour and oats she started gobbling it up like Tim does cookie dough. Sheesh. Talk about ruining your dinner. After I popped the crisp into the oven I let her continue to "cook" and even offered a tablespoon of sugar to throw into her concoction.
Earlier in the afternoon, I was cleaning the couch and had taken the cushion off to get underneath it. I hadnt' gotten far before Athena woke up and wanted a diaper change. When I came back not five minutes later, she was gleefully shouting and jumping up and down on the cushion. Not on that, but managed to find time to set a bomb off and undo all the putting away of flash cards I had put away ten minutes earlier. I felt like it was a right of passage for her to discover the joy of couch cushions.

A few hours into the morning I caught her on the couch reading to her baby. This baby is an Anne Geddes monstrosity that I wanted to get rid of as soon as we had gotten it. I had put it in a box with a few other stuffed toys and forgot about it in her closet until one day a couple months ago she bounced into the kitchen to show me her finds. I think this doll looks the closest to a newborn out of all of her dolls (and like Athena) so she has been a great Mommy to this doll all week. The only thing that sucks is when I have to take the doll with us on car trips in it's doll car seat carrier, change it's diaper multiple times because it peed and went 'poot' (to give her credit she has tried to change it's diaper several times as well and even wiped the baby), put a shirt on it, and later pants so it could go outside. Soon this baby is going to need shoes, a hat -- wait it has a hat -- a cheetah hat... anyway. Morella doesn't care which way the book actually faces, she still enjoys looking at pictures of animals. I like to think she's a super genius because she can look at things upside down.

Since she only weighs about 23 1/2 pounds (I hope!) she can fit into Athena's swing. For a little fun, here she is at 5 months the day I returned that swing to the person I had borrowed it from. I thought she was big then!


Which (man this post is starting to take forever thanks to all the digging around...) is huge compared to when she was two months...


Oh that swing saved our hides and made three of her first five months bearable. We use the swing daily with Athena, but now it's more like putting her in a safe spot for 10-15 minutes while I do something else, or when she has fallen asleep for quick nap.

Okay, I gotta get to bed. I leave with you a photo of Morella's baby. All dressed up and forgotten in the doll stroller. I guess Tim forgot that Morella prefers to cosleep with the baby like she did for the last two afternoon naps. Baby has to be tucked in right next Morella. It's just so stinkin' cute I tell you.

Day 10 -- or the Ten Minute Wonder Post

This process of clearing up eczema is some pretty slimy stuff. Ugh. BUT after I took a shower last night and coated myself in thick goop I wasn't that itchy. I added more per Village Dr. Samsa this morning and indeed felt much better. The rash was greatly reduced, though the itching started to return later in the evening. Just gotta remember that she should it should clear up in about a week. I hope so! I already feel better, so that's good.

It's late so, in classic tidbit style.

--Swept and mopped kitchen and living room floor -- boy howdy did that need it.
--Made a sausage, corn and black bean dinner -- Morella ate the corn, we ate everything else.
--Made a black bean pumpkin soup
--Tim peeled a bunch of apples and I sliced them for apple crisp tomorrow
--Put dishes in dishwasher
--Washed some dishes
--Did a load of laundry
--Even put some of that previous laundry away
--Bought Athena a Sophie the Giraffe (something I had wanted to get for Morella but too late...though Morella played with it...er rather gnawed on it).
--Had a Cheer the heck up lunch for Morella at Milo's. That girl LOVES subs.
--Napped in the afternoon with Athena
--Morella was up at 6 this morning crying. Tim went and eeked out another hour of sleep by sleeping in her room on the pull out bed.
--Athena was up a lot last night eating, eating and more eating. At one point I she was getting angry with my left side and I was so tired I thought "Geez kid, there's nothing left. Sorry!" and then remembered I had another side. That finally put her to sleep. She has been eating all day. I don't feel like I ever got full of milk at all today. It was all keeping up with her -- is there a three month growth spurt? [Quick google checks confirms a 3 month growth spurt]
--I have been eating oatmeal the last two mornings in an attempt to keep up with her, and to try and not snack so much during the day. You know, good hearty breakfast and all]
--I even got a little writing done in my journal
--Karen called sick today. She's gonna help on Friday when Tim does a well deserved after work beer from 5-6.
--We have guests tomorrow night for dinner -- we haven't had people over for dinner (other than pizza) since well before Athena. Having folks over is something we are going to try and start doing again. It's a cheap, easy to do with kids, way to connect with friends.
--Tim's Birthday is on Saturday. What should the kids get him? Hm.

Okay, I know you are sick of hearing about this. But I really do think I have the mystery rash solved -- it's not ringworm, it's not PUPPS, it's really probably eczema -- just like Hilary had suggested at the start. The first rash on my breast really started when I visited my Mom and had probably the most stressful day since Morella's hospitalization episode. Now the rash is all over my legs, my back, my neck, my arms and all happened after Tim being gone for a week. I got some good tips from Hilary on how to treat it and will start ASAP -- still take a claritin and yes, I will still make a doctors appointment. But you know, since this isn't urgent it will probably take two weeks to get in.

The MH (mother's helper) started today -- and was here for three hours. I am only hiring four hours a week, the next hour will be tomorrow -- at which point I plan on running some errands without kids or at the very least with Athena. I was *finally* able to cancel my Y membership. My last day of use is December 25th, and the woman said that my reasons were valid (very young children and H1N1/flu/cold concerns in their daycare). Then Karen took Morella off to the blue park and I stayed back to keep cleaning the kitchen which didn't get far because Athena woke up and I spent time with her while watching the last of Ellen and Oprah. Now that was having some me time. :D It reminded me of the good old days when it was just Morella, me and Voyager. Ahh.... Anyway. Sure I did errands and cleaned but it was so nice to be able to do that, and especially have Athena all to myself for a few hours in the day. I think it was time well spent.

Athena has her first nickname! "Nena" says Morella when asked who the baby is. This week are working on her knowing what her name is. So far she is great at saying Mommy/Momma, Daddy, Baby (and just learned Nena today) but won't say her own darn name! Come on kid!

Alright. I gotta go an take that lukewarm shower. :P

ETA: Maybe it's psychological but after the lukewarm shower, not drying off and slathering anti-itch cream followed by an ungodly amount of eucerin (and using Dove sensitive skin soap which we thankfully had lying around the house) -- this is the most relief I have had all day. *crosses fingers*

This just in!

Tim and I are in the office doing our computer things and talking like cubicle workers. We both heard a noise in Morella's room. It sounded like toys rattling around. Well, Morella went to bed hour ago so it was the kind of thing we decided needed an investigation. I went to her room and opened the door and as I was opening it, the little stinker jumped back into bed and pretended that she was asleep. Lying next to her bed was her Halloween Pumpkin. I turned off the light and shut the door letting her think she got away with something.

I don't hear any more noise coming from there...so maybe she went to sleep.

Oh man. I feel like a new stage is starting with her.

All kids are asleep. I am going to have to start getting Athena ready for bed at 7 just like I get Morella ready since she seems to be going to sleep for the night then. Last night she went to bed at like 6 and slept through the night with the exception of getting her ready for bed at 10ish.

Today we went to a dog fair and looked at all different kinds of dogs. It's amazing the variety out there -- but when it all comes down to it, they are still dogs. Dogs are pretty much universal in how they are like.

Then I took a long afternoon nap with Athena while Morella snoozed in her room. It was a little rough going at first because of the city's ruckus in picking up leaves. I could have slept longer except my legs, and everything else started itching like nuts. I got this book called The New Mom's guide to Your Body after Baby from the library last Wednesday thinking it would be a fun read. You know the sort of book you read when you already know everything just to see how they write it. Well the joke is on me because I am learning some things I had no clue about -- the rash for example. It turns out that rashes are quite common in the post partum period and that it is the number one reason for women visiting the dermatologist. The rashes are largely unexplained and that it takes at least two weeks to start seeing a difference and can last from a few a weeks to a whole freaking year! One of my pals suggested Claritin and after investigating whether or not the book was right on the internet I discovered that you can pretty much treat it by steroids or taking Claritin/Benedryl. I has another friend suggest Claritin and after telling Tim about my findings, he said that he had some without the D. Hurray! I tried one this afternoon and it didn't make me sleepy and I think there is a reduce in the itchiness. The rash on the back of my leg died down quite a bit too. Thank goodness!

Still, I am disheartened to learn this. It's nice to sort of have an answer but also kind of sucky in that I thought I was done with pregnancy side effects (other than weight gain, stretch marks and loss of my previous fitness level).

Aside from that, I went shopping and got some chicken for dinner. I took Athena with me and she was just the little darling ever, talking and watching at the grocery store while Morella stayed back with Daddy. I made chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy for dinner and Tim made a pretty awesome salad. Sadly, we both filled up on the salad and now have no appetite for dinner. I am hoping to eat a least a drumstick before I go through all the work of putting it away. It was nice to have home cooked food in our house again. Last week was a lot of eating out for both of us, and you know how that adds up, not only to your pocket book but to your waist.

My Mother's Helper starts tomorrow at 2. Chances are that the girls will be sleeping, but she can help me work on the basement project some more. It's like having a student worker again! Awesome!

It occurred to me that I hadn't posted photos of the girl's Halloween costumes here! Whoops! In my defense, this last week has been a lot busier than I thought it would be.

In other news, I have a rash now that has spread to my legs. It itches and I have no idea what's going on. The best I can think of is that we are using a different fabric softener. So I just rubbed a bit on the inside of my arm and am now waiting to see if I get a reaction so I can at least rule that out. I think I might have to make a doctors appointment to get some help on this. I have never had skin problems before in my life, so this totally stinks. I hate going to the doctor. Sure I have been there more times than I have ever thought possible in the last three years but that was because of the kids. Ugh. Yucky yuck yuck.

Tim's parents came today to visit. They came during nap time so both were sleeping for most of it. Tim's Mom Sharon rolled up her sleeves upon coming in and asked how she could help. I told her about the basement project and how I want to make the bar room into a winter playland area for Morella and Athena (later on). One of the things that needed to be done was to take down five years worth of boxes in the storage room and clear it out so that I could move in other storage items that are in the bar. In about an hour she and I managed to take down all the boxes, bring them up and clear out the junk. There is still some garbage items that have to go up but it's starting to feel like a doable project! I have to sweep and mop both areas because there are water stains and god knows what else from the flooding two years ago to make it all sanitary and clean, but I can do it! I have three weeks until Morella's birthday to do this.

I forgot to give them a bunch of pictures before they left though. :( The sending out pictures project has been on the back burner since going to the post office can be such a hassle during the day. But wait, I have a mother's helper now! Now I *can* go to the post office during an afternoon nap to send pictures, packages or whatever. Oh this is great. :D

Tonight I just feel itchy, fat, and tired. I couldn't figure out the tired thing until I was talking with my Mom who in the hospital again because of a bladder and kidney infection. I had taken a benedryl earlier in an effort to combat this spreading rash. I don't know if it helped that much. I guess maybe it did because I didn't' itch all afternoon, but I did get really tired and feeling quite useless. I also found out that taking aspirin isn't recommended for breastfeeding women. It's a level 3, use with caution drug. Well nuts. Sometimes acetaminophen doesn't cut it for headaches. It's times like this I look forward to when nursing is done, but overall nursing is pretty awesome.

Athena is three months old today! Tim said he woke up from his nap this morning with moist little fingers exploring his face and huge gummy smile from our little VEG (Vaguely Ethnic Baby). She has really started to use her hand to bat at things and grab. Now she she grabs my shirt when she nurses and Tim said she grabbed Morella's hair earlier today. She turns her head quite purposefully to look at things and really likes to sit up. We haven't gotten another laugh out of her that any of us created. But Morella didn't laugh with purpose (or at all) until she was 4 months on the dot. Athena has another month to go. I feel like at three months her newborn days are done and she has fully entered the world of Baby. Aww. It sure went fast. I look forward to seeing how she grows -- she loves to talk to people and is so thoughtful and happy.

Big sigh of relief. Tim is home. I am so ready for things to settle down a little bit and get back to normal. This week was definitely chaotic to say the least. I have a headache that I can't kick today so I am going to leave you with this little story from yesterday. I don't think I'll ever forget it.

It was the afternoon nap time. Morella lay in her bed yapping and singing and not sleeping and I was in the bedroom with Athena. I had just fed her, and as per post feeding we were spending some Mommy/Athena time. I lay on my back with knees up and my head propped with a pillow and Athena will sit on my stomach. She used to lay back on my knees like a bouncy chair but lately has wanted to sit more than lay back. Well, there she was sitting and I patted her back to get a good burp. We were talking to each other, smiling and she let out a good burp.

"Oh what a good burp!" I cooed, a big smile on my face. "Such a good burp from such a good girl!" She smiled, open mouthed. I held her sides with my hands and leaned her in to me for a big kiss.

"What a wonderful little ..." and she puked. "Oh my god!"

She spit up into my face, into my mouth, on my cheek, down the sides of my neck, into my hair and I lay there stunned. I tasted the sweet milk and also the acid of curdled milk.

"Oh my god," I said over and over. She looked at me quizzically and smiled. "Ahhh!" she said.

"Oh my god," I repeated. Jessie came down the hall to see what the fuss was about, and I asked her to hand me a towel. She did and I said "Athena just puked into my mouth."

She laughed and said "Wait until you have a little boy and they pee in your mouth!"

Uh.

Yeah. So there we have it. A defining moment in motherhood, never to be forgotten.

Three kids under the age of two -- total chaos! My goodness.

Jess arrived late last night while my friend Sigrid was over visiting. She came in with a groggy and overtired 18 month old and our first priority was to go to bed so that we could start today off well.

I woke up feeling like I had a hangover, which I realized later was because I had a glass of red wine. Ugh. No more red wine ever. I hate headaches and if I can avoid them, then by golly I will. And that glass was early with a big dinner -- yikes. Thankfully it was something a little aspirin was able to fix.

We had breakfast and then went outside and played in the backyard. Had lunch and then put everyone down for a nap - the only one who really took a nap was Emma. Morella decided she didn't need one and Athena has only catnapped all day.

After "quiet time" we put carseats into Jess's van and then headed over to Olbrich for Thursday afternoon playdate, followed by snacks at Ann's. It was warm respite and then rushed home for dinner, bath, naked time (for the kids), and then story time for Morella and Athena and songs for Emma. At 8:30 -- all children were successfully crashed out. THANK GOD!

Tim comes home tomorrow. I can't wait!

She came! And I have a mother's helper -- Karen. More tomorrow.

The cavalry did not show up today. I am really tired now too from a whole day of single parenting. We all slept until 7:30 which was great! I did hear Morella wake up but breakfast was a disaster because I forgot her booster seat at Hilary's last night. I let her eat breakfast on the coffee table and watch some TV because at that point Athena was up. Then I waited around all morning, which felt like forever because of the time change before I could head over to Hilary's and pick up the chair before meeting the woman at the library at 12:00. A decision I thought was sound since Morella was now taking her naps at 1:00. Except, with the time change 12 is the new 1. Ugh. She was hungry, cranky and I had Athena who was hungry and cranky and I waited for 25 minutes and no one came.

I did choose two videos that I could pop in the DVD player since cable is on the way out for instant relief so I could feed Athena and keep Morella occupied. IT worked out well -- as I later had to test out.

The woman did email me an hour before the meeting saying that she had accepted another four hour position. Fine. So I called the first woman I had met on Saturday and offered her the position. She said she needed to figure out her schedule and would call me back and then hung up. That was at 1:00.

Meanwhile, I got the kids down for a nap and spent some time on the internet, paying bills and puttering around the house and waiting for my friend to show up. Around 4:30 I saw a message from her saying she would come tomorrow morning. About a half an hour after that Emily popped over for a few minutes and offered to have a Children's dinner at her house for Morella. I agreed since thinking of and making dinners that Morella won't eat can be taxing. She did okay over there and had fun playing with Leo and his Dad. I left around 6:30 because I needed to go to Woodman's to get Morella her special 8th Continent Vanilla soy milk but the idea of doing that at bedtime with two kids was sucking the life out of me.

I passed my neighbor's house two doors down and on a whim asked Karen, the wife if she would stop over and at 8:30 when the kids were down for the night to watch the house while I ran over to Woodman's to get the goods. She said okay!

Well before I left we got to talking about my day and the mother's helper and she offered to do it on the spot! She has a less flexible schedule than I had originally wanted -- like two hours here and there during the day -- but I could totally break it up for her. For one, I know and trust her. Second, Morella likes her. Third she lives two houses away and doesn't have children. Four, she had tons of experience. I wish I had known that she would have done it earlier! But you know we don't talk that often, so how would I have known?

Anyway. I haven't gotten a call back from the first choice yet, which I think is kind of odd. Don't you? I feel like she is waiting on another offer because she did say that she was interviewing other people on Saturday afternoon. How long should I wait? I am thinking tomorrow at 5:00. I told my neighbor Karen that she could have it if I don't hear back from the first. I think 5 is fair, that is well over 24 hours.

Okay. I gotta get to bed. I put Athena down in a cloth diaper and have to get her up to change her to a sposie. Being young and all, she still pees a lot at night and then hit the hay myself. I am exhausted!

Athena laughed for the first time today. I was changing her diaper after returning from Children's dinner at my friends house and Morella was on the bed futzing around. Athena had laughed while looking up at two of her toys hanging down above her changing station.

About an hour later, after Morella was put to bed and she was fussing, she stopped to explore my face with her hand. It was so sweet to feel those moist little fingers bat against my face and see her stare at me in concentration. Oh she also kept trying to touch the keyboard on my phone when I was texting Tim. At first I brushed her hand away because I thought it was an accident, but then pudgey little fingers kept coming back. I really love when babies explore your face -- it's so intimate. I also love baby laughs and look forward to hearing the next one. I wonder what she will find so funny then.

I am looking forward to sharing the whole bed with her tonight. Right now she is laying smack in the middle. I am next Tim's side of the bed with the nightstand and light. Soon I will have to plug in the laptop, though really I should take it as a sign to go to bed.

I havne't gotten out of thinking of "before daylight saving's time it would be almost 11 -- totally past time for bed." I have been thinking like that all day which is dangerous. Okay, not that dangerous but kind of annoying.

Speaking of annoying. I finally canceled our cable. Tim has been after me about dropping it for months. To be honest we have both struggled with whether or not we should keep it over the past year because we barely watch it. Sure we have spells were we watch it but then we also have weeks in between where we don't. The final straw was in the mail today. It was a notice that rates were going up $6 dollars come December.

Let's just say that Charter was not happy to see me go. Previous experience told me that I should use the fact that I often get misidentified as Tim over the phone because of my low voice. Usually I get very annoyed by it, but this time I used it to my advantage. This is the kind of thing that I know they would have pulled the old "Well we can't cancel your cable until the name of the account holder calls and cancels personally along with a sample of DNA to prove it's actual who they say it is." I provided all the necessary info -- phone number, birthday, last four digits of the social security number. The first dude asked me if I was Tim. I said yes and quickly changed the subject. He caught on and later called me Ma'am right before transferring me to someone who was more aggressive than he was in trying to keep me.

I was put on hold for five minutes. During that five minutes Athena woke up from her nap and started howling. Morella sat in front of the computer and started whining at me to play something for her. I occupied her with some yogabba and imagination movers while I dealt with Kathy. Athena continued her howling despite getting a diaper change and being picked up. So much so that every other sentence on each of our parts had to be repeated.

"Hello my name is Kathy, how can I help you?"
"I got a notice in the mail today saying that my rates were going to increase come December and I would like to cancel our cable now," I said.
"May I have your account number?" she replied.
I gave her our phone number. It's what the first dude wanted.
"WAHHHHHHH!" added Athena.
"No that isn't it," she said.
I gave her the account number stated on the letter.
"No that isn't it either. It's a 17 digit number," she said.
"WAHHHHHHH!"

I went to the office and dug out the most recent bill and read aloud to her fast and loud the 17 digit number on top of the screen. She already had it folks. There was no way she could have heard me over that screaming.

"So you are saying that you want to cancel your cable because of a few extra bucks a month?"

"Yep" I replied.
"WAHHHHHHH" hollered Athena.
"Are you aware of the promotions that came with the letter?"
"What?" I asked.
""Are you aware of the promotions that came with the letter?"
"No, the only thing was the letter telling me I would be paying more come December, besides that fact I want to cancel the cable," I replied.
"Blah blah blah only $24.99 for the first six months..." she droned on.
"WAHHHHHH WAHHHHHHHH!" added Athena.
"Well then how are you going to watch TV?" she asked.
None of your business I thought. "Computer."
"What?" she asked.
"WAHHHHH!"
"Computer!" I yelled.
"Well are you aware that blah blah blah blah," she continued.
"Madam, for the third time, I want to cancel my cable," I stated. I was starting to feel a little stressed out from all the complaining going on around me.
"WAHHHH!" pointed out Athena. I did manage however, to calm her down at that point by sticking a breast in her mouth.
"When do you want to cancel it?" she asked after a pause.
"When is the end of this billing cycle?" I asked.
"You are paid up through this Thursday," she answered.
"Then I want to cancel it on Thursday," I replied.
"Okkkkaaaayyyy" she drew out. "On Thursday a Charter van will come to your house and turn off your cable."
"Great!" I said.
"Then your TV screen will be black," she warned.
"That's just wonderful!" I said. Come on, does she really think we don't have other options? My god. "Thank you and good bye."

So there we have it folks. I have only three more days of cable. I have now saved us an additional $65 dollars a month. Now I need to get to the Y to cancel that and save us another $70 a month so that I can use that moola to pay for some quality me time in the form of a mother's helper. I met one gal on Saturday and liked her. I meet the next one tomorrow morning. Then, if all goes well, I'll have a four hour block of time each week that will eventually become mine alone. I hope it's money well spent.

Day one of Single Parenting week is complete. Tomorrow the cavalry will hopefully show up. Today was made possible by the morning help from Tim, my neighbor Emily, and my friend over the hill Hilary who provided dinner and children for Morella to play with before bed time. Thank goodness for peeps!