We went to an impromptu Birthday Party for my friend Sigrid's dog Zilla tonight! Morella did really well considering it was past her bedtime, she was tired and she had shots today and was probably sore by then. But it was her first birthday party!!!

Here are some photos courtesy of Sigrid. I'll post whatever good pictures I have on Friday. My camera is full and I have to unload photos and put a bunch onto Kodak and my computer so I can get around to ordering some actual prints.

Morella had her 4 month and one week well check today. She weighs 12 pounds! Let's do the math...I have mentioned how I wish I was better at math right? Anyway... on Feb. 20th she was 10.9 ounces. How many ounces are in a pound? Oh thank goodness for google calculator. Okay she so gained 1 lb and 1 ounce in 40 days so that is a little less than 1/2 an ounce a day. Hm. Oh well, the good thing is that she is gaining and it matches her growth curve of 10-12%. Height was 24.5 which is 53%.

She had her shots and didn't give out that blood curdling cry..and she even ate a bit after that and then killed a 6 ounces bottle when we got home. I got her randitine adjusted to 23 mL but the prevacid is still staying the same at 1/2 a tablet a day. She has also graduated to a full dropper of tylenol which I gave her when we got home.

The doctor seemed to me to push solids, but it all depends on how her Wednesday barium swallow study doctor appointment goes. If she fails then solids are pretty much a given. If she passes...then I don't know how to proceed. Solids may or may not help her reflux. Geez, the stuff she is taking is so thick and goopy that it might as well be a solid. She also said that sippy cups is something that Morella probably shouldn't start until 6-7 months...I wonder what the speech pathologist will say to that since she was the one that planted the kernel in my head that sippy cups might be the way to go to get more fluids into her if she fails her swallow test.

I also learned that not all babies are as "wiggley" as Morella. I said "I thought all babies were like this."

And she said "No, Morella is extra wiggley, which of course burns a lot of calories. She's just determined to be long and lean."

I also just made an appointment with her again for the 6 mo check up even though I was hellbent on trying out the other new pediatrician. I was especially encouraged when I saw that her last name is Seaborg. Dude, she's BORG!!! But Star Trek nerdiness aside, I kept with the current doctor because she does know Morella's complete history and we are getting along better with each other. Maybe it's that we are starting to 'understand' one another. Maybe.

There you have it. One big appointment down, and one to go.

On a side note. I went to Panera for lunch beforehand it was crazy busy as it usually is around lunch time. I ended up sitting at one of those two-fer tables in which half was already occupied. Morella started to act up so I took her out and soon as I did the two ladies next to us and the lady I was sitting with started talking to me and Morella about babies. The one lady I was next to was a soft ball recruiter from Clarksville TN 20 minutes outside of Nashville, and she was SO nice. I had such a lovely time chatting with her. I guess it was probably as nice for her since was an out of towner and eating lunch by herself. I am almost tempted to go Panera more often to meet and talk to other people.

Oh and the pediatrician complimented me on my hair! Even though it was totally messy and bed heady with several parts sticking up. She said "Isn't it supposed to look like that?"

Ha ha, I guess so.

Did more couch shopping today. I think we are going to wait for two weeks until Steinwaffles 7% sale ends and see what their next gig is, in the meantime we'll see what other stock rotates through A1 Furniture. We know what we want, we have searched high and low at other places and now it's just a waiting game. If the economy continues in the direction it's currently going, then the sales should get better.

In the meantime, I am working on Operation Spring Clean. I still haven't made those lits for each room, but the idea still rambles about in my head. Friday night I cleaned Koopa's cage. Saturday I no wait, I cleaned her cage on Saturday because on Friday night Tim and I had an awesome night out thanks to the grandparents!! They were generous enough with the time to visit Morella until the wee hours of the morn which mean that we got to see a lame show at Union South and then went to see an awesome Indian (as in India) DJ at the Majestic. I dressed up people! Put on makeup even! Alert the press! The bummer thing about that is that the next day I was so tired.

Tonight after Morella went to bed at 8:00, I did the dishes, scrubbed the sink, swept AND mopped the floor. The first time in four months. There are still other things like wipe the cupboards, the walls, clean the microwave, fridge, stove, and dog dish...not to mention all the other littler projects like actually tackling inside the cupboards. But it's a start. Maybe I'll actually make that list tomorrow and maybe putting a list for every room up will also inspire the Manager around here to pitch in. ;) A little extra credit, you know?

I mentioned to Tim tonight that I was thinking about going back to TKD and working on finishing my black belt. Just two days a week, you know get some structured exercise with a cause. He said immediately to go for it! Wow. It was nice to get a little encouragement like that because, well I have been finding reasons to put it off. I do miss exercise though and it would be a good reason to get out of the house two days at week for an hour and half. Since Tim got the raise, it would cover half of that cost...and who knows hopefully Morella will pass her barium swallow study test this Wednesday and we won't have to buy Simply Thick anymore.

Everyone, think good vibes for her this week and ... good swallowing vibes in particular! She needs them...heck, WE need them.

Okay I should head to bed. I just finished watching more Carnivale, and Morella has an appointment with a scale and couple of needles tomorrow afternoon.

Friday Photos: 4 Months 1 Week

After giggling. I was trying to get a picture of her actually laughing but she sensed something was afoot.

Taken a mere 30 minutes ago. She wanted to wear this sweater apparently. I have no problems with it as I don't want to wear it anymore today.

"MUST you continue taking my photo?"
She's a bit of a grouch these past few days.

Laura, Morella and Tim on Easter Sunday

Everyone says that cousins Morella and Zeland look alike. You be the judge. Is Morella little female Zeland?

Here's another one.

Edited to Add:

I went back and found some photos I have of Zeland when he was four months old. Gah, even I have to admit they are an awful lot of similarities.

I am having one of those days where it feels like everything is getting ahead of me. It's anxiety. I know it. You know my mother is a very anxious person. She spends most of her time worrying about things that don't need to be worried about. It's because of this that I have spent a good portion of my life in pursuit of moderation. In particular, I strive to not be like her in that regard.

If I were to get right down to it, the real root of my problems is Morella's eating patterns. I am now worrying whether no four feedings a day is enough for her. She seems to be in transition and since that is the case, I shouldn't put much so stock in anything that happens from day to day. Yet, I do. I was doing really good just going with the flow, and in some respects I still am. If you go by that whole two ounces per pound thing and since we are pretty sure she hasn't hit 12 pound then a minimum of 24 ounces a day should be sufficient. She is hitting that benchmark at least once a week but usually ranges between 24 and 27. I noticed the last few days that she has dropped her bedtime bottle and therefore is eating her last bottle at 6 or 7. What has changed? She is going to bed earlier. Now she is in bed and usually asleep by 8:30 PM.

It's good that she is going to bed earlier and still sleeping through the night. Oh sure there are moments like last night where she fussed but that was because I didn't do a successful roll over in which I turn her from her tummy to her back. Her arm was all caught up in her sack and I tried to get it loose and woke her up. She is starting to get up earlier -- at 6.00 or 6:30, but that isn't too bad.

Really it's rather nice to have that free time in the evening again. I am also experimenting with moving my last pump time up to 10 or 10:30. I mean, normal breastfeeding mothers do that right? The body adjusts...I should just remind myself that my pump is just a fake baby.

Like last night, I watched Carnivale and actually think I might like it. Well, it's an intriguing story anyway and I am glad that I can finally send those netflix movies back. We have had them for about two weeks! Just think of the other movies that I can watch at night now. I have also been working on letters, and crocheting...and getting to bed a little earlier. I would like to one day eliminate the morning nap I have to take, but I don't think that is going to happen until I quit pumping.

Anyway. Her reflux is acting up a bit this week, she is showings signs of teething both of which are good reasons as to why she would change her eating pattern and maybe not eat as much (today she isn't eating that awesome). But really I am focusing on this because her barium swallow study is next week and I am worried and anxious about that.

I just need to take a few minutes and let it go. We have done our best. There is no point in worrying about what might or might not happen until we need to. Morella is not broken. She is healthy and active and getting as much as she wants to eat.

Breathe. Just live in the now.

Speaking of which, since I already got the ball rolling on that anxiety mountain it's picked up a few hitchhikers...that being the house. I feel like I have let it slide so much that there is so much to do now and I don't know where to begin. I need to make a list. And start tackling it. One thing a day at least. I guess today I did finish paying the end of the month bills - the mortgage, insurance and credit card. Two of the biggest chunks of the monthly budget, I like to save it for last because then it's only a few days until Tim's check is deposited.

Okay well Morella is getting sick of the play mat. I should pick her up, put some music on and maybe start working on that list of things that I would like to do. I know, that the time I am spending MAKING this list could be used doing some of the things...but I need that list. There is something very cathartic about crossing off things and proving to myself that I did do something. Even if it was very small.

Morella is taking an extra long nap this afternoon. Good! The bad is I just got another headache. Boo! I have been struggling with this off and on for the past couple of days. I bet it's the drastic weather change. I like that it's getting warmer but I hate what it does to my head.

I have also been feeling fat and unattractive the last couple of days. I guess having a headache sure doesn't help. I keep thinking of the things that I want:

--someone clean the kitchen complete with dishes, sweeping floor, mopping, cleaning the cabinets, throwing out all the crap we don't use, reorganizing the shelves and food, cleaning the microwave, etc.

--Someone to cook for me.

--someone to clean the living room, vaccum, mop, beat all the rugs, dust everything, clean the possum cage, organize the books, reframe or frame pictures, rearrange the living room with a new couch

--Someone to clean the bedroom and rotate the bed, change the sheets, go through all our clothes and reassess what Fatty McFat Fat can wear, see into the future and see what she could wear if she dropped more weight, cleaned the dog kennel, went through and sorted through all the shelves and open spaces.

--The office..uh I'm not even gonna start. But for starters, move the computer stuff to the hutch desk, get rid of the L desk and put the futon in there (something we will have to do when the new couch ever comes or gets bought). File everything. Pay the bills, clean the closet and more dusting...

--Morella's room.

--The bathroom could use a good scrubbing.

--Make my headaches go away.

--Take away twenty pounds.

--Make the cats stop fighting with each other.

--Make Pluto less whiny.

--Refinish the basement. Regrade the side of house. Fix the roof.

Etc. etc.

Tim got a little bonus with his raise today! That's good news. We'll use it to buy a new stroller in April. Hurray! I would have gone out on the walk with Pluto and Tim, but Morella is still sleeping and it's SUPER windy outside. She would hate it. I did manage to get to Target today to buy some washclothes, traveling wipes, some granola bars and half off strawberry whoppers. I might have gotten more or looked around more but Morella was getting angry at being in the car seat. Unusual, I even checked to make sure she was seated right and she was... I think what happened though was one of her feet got stuck in the bottom by the bottom clip thing. There was this one kid at Target throwing a HUGE trantrum. You could hear his screams all the way across the store. I woke Morella up when we got there and she started to cry too. I hurried away from that kid as fast as I could, but it seemed like they were following us wherever we went.

I tried that trick that Laura suggested in the comments to make Morella laugh and no dice. I tried Tim's trick and ... no dice. I guess I am just not a funny person. I know, break out the violin. :P

I am much recovered today. I did wake up a few times last night with my back hurting and it took while to go back to sleep. I even went back to sleep for two hours after Morella conked out -- and now I feel fresh as a daisy! Well, maybe not fresh..I do feel REfreshed. Speaking of which, I should go and take a shower and quit yapping. My face feels like it has an oily mask on.

I also want to leave the house today to go to target and get some washclothes for Morella. The freezing one corner trick works wonders! The ones that we have are too frayed on the ends for her to gnaw on.

I had a case of 'teh dumb' this past week. I kept thinking at the same time that Morella's 4 mo doctor appointment and barium study was this week AND that I still had plenty of time to pay the last of the month's bills because there is still another and half in March. It also didn't help that the calender this month had to double up the the last two days with the previous week, which screwed me up. Regardless, I was immensely relieved when I learned that her appointments are NEXT week, and what's better, the 4 mo appointment is at 1:30 instead of 9:00. I was dreading messing up the morning nap, though I am going to have to do that for Wednesday...but two days in a week would have been too much.

I was also glad it wasn't today because man...I felt like I had a hangover today! I had a headache, I was so tired and lethargic and blah. I made sure to try and sleep as much as I could or at least lay down when Morella did. I can't fall asleep in 30 minutes but it was nice to just lay still and try to relax. When she went to bed tonight I went to bed with her and just got up at 11 to pump, and now write a post. Tim is snoring loud enough to wake the newly dead and I am not quite yet in rush to enter that firestorm of noise.

Morella's bedtime has moved up to 8:00 to 8:30. It happened over the course of a week and half? But it was so fast. It's hard to adjust when she should get her last bottle because a switch goes off in her head and one minute she is fine and the next she is extremely overtired and yelling that raw scream of "get me to bed!!! NOWWWWWWWW!" So she ate really well today but I didn't offer her bottle until 8:00 (she had finished the previous one at 6:00) and she wanted nothing to do it with, getting changed to jammies, diaper change etc. I am thinking I am going to have to start offering her the last bottle at 7:30 to give her some time to drink from if it she wants and still be able to wisk her off to bed quickly.

On Easter yesterday at brother in law Mark's house, Tim made Morella laugh...a bunch of times. He was putting her down for a nap and calming her down ... I standing outside listening to the action when suddenly I heard a giggle...then another. Mark was there and opened the door to see Tim and Morella sitting at desk and knocking over a bottle of hair dye. She would just bust into a fit a giggles over the bottle getting knocked over and her about to do it. It was incredible! I was just amazed at how great it sounded and how much it made me laugh to see to see her laugh! It's sort of like crack, once you hear it you want to hear more.

I tried my best to get her to do it today, but since I wasn't feeling so hot and I don't think she was either, we had no luck. That is until Tim came home and he got her to giggle and laugh again this time with a bottle of aftershave. Sigh. I guess I could try the knocking something trick over tomorrow. But at the moment, only Daddy and Caleb can make her laugh.

Maybe part of my problem and Morella's was getting over Easter. It was a good time, but a lot of excitement, noise, new faces, and tons of stimulation. I have become even more aware that our house is really mellow and Tim and I are not overly excitable people. It's good for Morella to be exposed to that so that she doens't become too sensitive, but at the same time it's hard for me to watch her get overstimulated. I just cringe inwardly whenever I watch her get more than 20 minutes of constant ... "something" being shaken in her face. It's best if I just distract myself and not get into hover mode. If Morella has had enough she'll let them know (though her fussing usually means it happens MORE!).

Gah. I hope he stops snoring long enough for me to go to sleep. It's bothering me now and I am in the living room! I just can't stand it sometimes. Like I can't stand hearing rubber squeak. It just hurts my brain.

There was more I going to write about, but I am still too tired and groggy to focus. I mean I feel better than I did most of today, but I could still feel better by tomorrow morning if I go to sleep. After all, I am a firm believer that the best way to avoid illness is to sleep. Might as well be preventive. I really hate getting sick too and not feeling well.

Man I am whiny tonight.

The second day of spring and we have a snow storm. :P Oh well, I hope it's the last one. Tim has the day off, and we WERE going to go couch shopping but I guess that plan has been belayed. That means I can watch Voyager then. I was also going to go over and visit Hilary and pick up our Easter pictures...but that will have to wait until tomorrow too.

Last night Morella went to bed fairly early. I had an unexpected bounty of free time that I had no idea what to do with. I decided to take an avocado bath bomb bath...and then after that I was sitting on the couch thinking of things I "should" do...but didn't want to. Then I remembered that I left the router plugged in for xbox live and thought "This is the perfect time to check it out more." So that I did. I ended up playing Halo 3 with three of my brothers for the next three hours. It was SO cool. We could talk, it was like they were right there in the room, except I didn't feel uncomfortable pumping at the designated time. Ahhh. I had so much fun I felt guilty about Morella but then as Tim said "She's sleeping!" and that's true enough. Sometimes I should just be able to do fun stuff and not designated I "should" do blank when faced with a few free hours.

Anyway. Here are the Friday Photos!



One of my favorite "Waking up faces"



She likes to stick her legs straight up in the air, I think it's super cute.



Awake at last!

And now I leave you with Easter Pictures. These photos were taken courtesy of Jason Samsa Photography -- Happy Easter!!

Thanks for all the comments. :) I feel better about the hair cut. I took a shower last night and it was a breeze to wash it and it was dry in no time. That said, when I looked it after the shower I hated it. Then I slept on it and woke up to a poofy mess. Then in the afternoon I put a little product in it and poof! It was awesome again. I think the key here is going to be putting a little something in it to give it some oomf. I don't know if you picked up on it, but I had a teeny bit of hair cutters remorse. I think the worst of it has passed though and I am excited to see what else I can do with my do. What other looks I can achieve. Now if can complete this make over by losing another 10-15 pounds. :P

I will note though that I make an effort to get dressed every single day. It's part of our routine. Said routine:

6:00AM - I wake up and pump. Read while watching the morning news. Then I make bottles, eat breakfast and get Morella's morning medicine ready.

7:00AM - If Morella isn't already up (she usually is at 6.30 but will amuse herself for a half and hour before getting up). I go and wake her and Tim up. Give her medicine, watch Daddy get ready for the day, see him off and head back to bed to eat breakfast, read some books, or listen to a few songs.

8:00 - 10:00AM - We both nap. I get up at 10:00-10:30 depending on how tired I am.

10:30-12:00 - Pumping time again, except this time I surf the internet. I make a bottle, freeze milk, wash bottles, get Morella's midday medicine ready. Drink some decaf. Brush my hair. Take a shower if I need one. Wash the dishes and clean off the counter. Catch up on any internet.

12:00PM - Turn on the bedroom light, start talking out loud about what I am going to wear. Sometimes I will hop into bed and just stare at her for a good 5 minutes before waking her up. I LOVE when she first opens here eyes, focuses on me and smiles. Then I flip her to face me (still on tummy) so that she can get a good 10-15 minutes of tummy time without crying while I get dressed and yammer on. Then she gets medicine, a new diaper and gets dressed for the day. She eats lunch, then I eat lunch.

1:00 - 2 or 3 - We walk around get odds and ends chores done around the house. Included is lots of bathroom mirror time, brushing her hair, another diaper change, check the mail, listen to music, etc. I will also leave the house and run errands or visit Hilary during this time.

2.30 or 3:00 - Her second nap of the day. It lasts only 30 minutes. While she naps, I pump.

3:00-5:00 - Voyager. Afternoon bottle after eating, I end up walking her around, or rocking her in the chair with some books and toys and I sort of zone out and watch TV (with subtitles).

5:30 - Tim is home and we gear up and get ready for the evening walk.

6:00 - 7:00 - Walk Pluto while Tim wears Morella. This walk coincides with her 30 minute late afternoon nap. So she sort of sleeps most of the way through it.

7:00 - Early evening medicine. Dinner bottle, and then dinner for us. She sits in the kitchen or is held and watches as we make dinner or talk to each other.

7:30 - Pump. She is either in the high chair in the kitchen or in the exersaucer next to me.

8:00-9:00 - Dance time and/or walk around...usually it's both. And on bath days, this is when she gets a bath.

9:00 - Jammy and sposie (disposable diaper) time. After getting changed we sit in the glider and she gets last bottle. She usually only drinks part of it and is usually asleep by 9.15...but I rock her a bit more. How can I resist?

9:30 - Bedtime medicine and then bed.

10:30-11:00 or 11:30 Last pump of the night. I surf the net. Work on a letter. Sometimes take a shower. Wash bottles and pumping gear for the night and morning.

Repeat.

The Good

Morella laughed today! I mean a full out giggle and then repeated it a few times! I had witnesses to hear it...I was driving over to Babies R Us to look for tights that would fit her (no such luck, but did find a pair that fit better than the other ones). And her cousin Caleb was in the back seat with her and ... he made her giggle several times! I couldn't believe it. I called Tim so he could hear it, but of course she got all phone shy and wouldn't giggle any more. :P

We haven't been able to get her to do that ourselves. But her first laugh! It was awesome and made us laugh too. I want to hear more of it.

The Bad

She has been a little extra refluxy the past day or two...and the reason why is:

The Ugly

She is teething. I can't freaking believe it! I noticed that she started gnawing on her knuckles yesterday to the point where they become red and slightly swollen. It didn't occur to me that this is what might be happening until I saw her do it later and get frustrated. SO I found a soft teething toy (why are all the other teething toys I have so hard?!) and she went to town. She is drooly (which makes reflux worse), she will chew your finger or wrist or anything that gets near her mouth, and not suck...she is biting and gnawing. I felt her gums and she has a swollen spot where the the front left tooth would be. She has been extra fussy..and sigh. We looked it up and it can start to happen now. I mean she is going to be four months on Sunday, and lets not forget the 12 days overdue part. Anyway so the resources say that teething can start early based on when the parents started. I called Tim's Mom and she said Tim didn't get his first tooth until he was about one. Whew! Then I called my Mom and she said we all started around 4 months and apologized. :(

GAH! It's MY fault that she is starting this early. I was really hoping that we would catch a break between reflux starting to get better and this. Better yet why couldn't she be an average of our teething experiences and start at like 7 or 8 months?

Other news:

My Mom had surgery on one eye to remove cataracts. She has to keep the eye patch on for a month! I am xbox live conferencing with them tomorrow at one so she can see Morella and my new hair cut.

I am going to be sending some frozen milk home with the grandparents when they visit on Friday to stockpile for Morella's summer vacation with them at the end of July. We are planning on going to Baton Rouge and visit some friends. I realize it will be hotter than the devil's kitchen then, but I have never been to the south and it's the only time we can really do it. Regardless, I am still looking forward to this. Anyway. I am running out of room in our freezer to store milk. We only have a small one, but it works great. If Morella gets off this thickener...actually even if she doesn't I *think* she can drink straight up milk from a sippy cup without it being thickened because sucking a bottle is alot harder than drinking from a cup (at least that is what the speech pathologist had told us before...I'll get more information next week if she fails the test). Regardless.

Average of 30 ounces a day, times 8 days = 240 ounces. Currently I am storing the milk in 6 ounces portions. I can fit 10 six ounce bags into a freezer baggy (double storage protection and ease of organizing in freezer). So that means they are going to need four of the bags, which is going to fill a cooler. I guess later on I can always add another bag for extra insurance. That will give me another month or two that I can store milk.

How am I doing?

I am doing pretty good. Things got a TON better once I started writing down her sleep times in addition to her eating times and I realized that she has a schedule/routine. Once you know that, you know when you are going to get a break and it's so much easier to read her and figure out what she wants. She has also gotten over her case of the mommies and is going to both of us equally. I am starting to feel like I am getting a teeny bit more control of my life everyday. Though I am in another down phase in the hating/living with it pumping cycle.

We had her Easter Pictures taken this past Sunday. I got her a dress, her first! It was just the perfect opportunity to really take a baby portrait. The prints are ready and we are going to pass them out at Easter, while she wears the dress of course. ;) In the meantime, I still need to ask if it's okay if I post one of the pictures that we didn't use, but we love her expression in the it from the photographer for your Friday photo.

It feels like time is starting to fly and I am not sure what it's being filled up with. I think in addition to the new couch and stove, that we are also going to buy a stroller. But until then, Tim is happy to wear Morella for the walks. He says it gives him an extra workout.

I almost feel like I should apologize for the baby-centric turn that my blog has taken the past few months. Almost. I then shake my head and remember that I have wanted this for a LONG time. I looked forward to days when I could talk about rocking a sweet baby to sleep, making her giggle uncontrollably, you know -- witnessing her firsts. Now I get to do it and I am not going to feel bad for it one bit. Yes, this has turned into a Mommy blog...but that is just where I am right now. Eventually, I am sure it will shift...but for the moment, I will savor this phase as long as I can.

Real quickly because Morella is getting sick of sitting at the computer. These pictures aren't that awesome...but they will do. I am sure you will see more of me in the upcoming days as I get used to the new hair do and really make it my own.



Before ... I thought about making this one black and white, you just like on those before and after ads that you see on TV and in magazines...but in the end decided that though that would be funny...it wouldn't provide the best comparison shot.



After. This is me this morning after quickly brushing it...so it still has product leftover from yesterday...so...yeah. And that stupid cat just HAD to be in the picture... :P For the record, this is the shortest that my hair has ever been. Tim wasn't quite sure about the hair cut, baby thinks it's great as does Sigrid and the other lady at the salon. Why is that men say they like short hair but whenever you get a short cut they are sort of "eh." I think they just like short hair on other women. :P

I went to bed early last night at 9.40 but probably didn't sleep until 10. Then I had to get up at 11.25 to pump and was in bed again by 12.30. I didn't set the alarm this morning and I woke up at 6.20 -- and went to pump. Tim got up with Morella at 7.10 and I went back to bed!

Ahh. I slept off and on with an eye mask on and ear plugs in until I finally got up at 10. At which point...Morella was still awake. Huh?! She hadn't taken her long morning nap yet. So I rescued Tim, who had fed her again but she was still super active! I went into the bedroom, gave her medicine so I wouldn't have to wake up her at 12, and put her down for a nap and left the room. I think because I did that it was okay for Tim to leave the room too. In about 5 minutes she was down and has been ever since.

So...I had time to pump, wash bottles and stuff, wash dishes, clean the counter, drink some coffee, catch up on the internet...and I *think* she should be asleep at least until 1:00 (three hour nap). It's crazy to have this free time to do with what I want. The first thing that comes to mind is cleaning because bending down and cleaning is hard to do with a baby in hand.

Pluto is bugging the heck out of me. He keeps whining and waiting for Tim to come back, but he has plans all day. Sheesh. I want to throw something at him (which I do for the cats ... no I don't actually hit them! Just throw it near them to make them stop whatever annoying thing it is that they are doing). But that won't work with Pluto. He whines. Lays his head down and then snaps it up a second later .. listening for Tim.

We ordered Chinese food last night and it's sort of bitter. I ate it again for lunch today because ... well it was there and it was still bitter. Sigh. Oh well, at least I am full now and Tim made a pot of decaf coffee before he left which is nice.

The glider is awesome. I love it. I wish I had done it sooner.

I should go and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. It's been like two months since the last time that floor saw a mop...at least. I would also like to vacuum, but I don't want to wake the baby with extra noise.

I feel like my days with Morella are getting better with each passing day. We have a routine now, and I sort of know what to expect from her and I am SO much more patient and calm and just happy to be with her, even when she is crying. Perhaps that comes from being more confident and getting to know each other more. She is such a light in my life.

I also asked Tim if he thought she would pass her next swallow study. He said he didn't think so. Sigh. I guess it's better to have low or no expectations in this sort of thing. I guess I will need to order another month supply of Simply Thick. I did start adding an extra 1/2 ounce of milk to the bottles so that when they are made it it's 6 ounces. She has been knocking at 6 ounces for a while and since I started doing that she maybe hits them...40-50% of the time. It's no extra formula or simply thick (so yes it's the teeniest bit thinner...or maybe not..maybe the formula makes it a tad thicker..hm) anyway. She is drinking that down just fine. Of course she still has reflux, but it's my hope that it isn't causing serious damage anymore and that she has healed a bit? I guess I'll know in two weeks. She averages at 25 ounces a day -- sometimes she goes up to 27, but not really more than that.

Friday Photos: Three Months and three weeks

Then - 3 Days Old

Now 3 Months 3 Weeks Old
(*sniff* she finally outgrew her coming home outfit yesterday).

I found some baby hair clips! I LOVE them. I am sure, one day, she will grow to love them too.

Have a great St. Patrick's Day!

PS. In other news, after trying to fix the glider I got off Craigs list for the 10th time...I decided "screw it, I am splurging on a new glider." Today Morella and I went out and splurged on the most awesome chair known to man. I love it and wished I had done it sooner. I threw out the old glider but kept the cushions and the ottoman. Heck the ottoman is the same price I paid for the both the glider and ottoman...meaning I didn't buy a matching one with the glider...and so I guess I'll consider myself even.

I made the clone of a cinnabon recipe yesterday and it's good...but I don't think I had enough brown sugar for the recipe (I ran out) and the frosting needed more sugar. I think I will keep this recipe though and keep my adjustments for another time. To make sure I wouldn't eat them all, I send off a few to Laima and some to Hilary.

Last night was my night out and Hilary and I went to Escape (after buying a powerball ticket) which I lost. If I had won though, I promised Hilary a million for her troubles. Escape was super busy as there was a stitch and bitch meeting going on, and a bunch of mixed college coed's gathered around a table and talking about really important things like politics, environmentalism .. etc. They were going to change the world I tell you! We eventually found a tiny little nook in the back by the gallery between two rooms. It was very tiny and eventually one of my hands fell asleep from being scrunched in there. The knitting group was done by the we emerged for a walk about and we moved into the main room. I played a game of chess with Hilary but I don't think she particularly enjoys the games. I said that next time we could play scrabble.

I don't consider myself to good at chess. I play by the seat of my pants and will often make reckless moves just to force some action, and yet no one wants to play with me. Well except for my little brother James (aka Ditto). I taught him to play when he was a whippersnapper and he would ALWAYS want to play to play with me. We were such addicts that we continually made our own chess sets from legos, checkers (just write the rank on top), and even sculpted our own pieces out of dried flour dough. I was able to reconnect with him on facebook and I am enjoying it immensely. He was my best friend from the ages of 8-13 but I have lost contact with him for many many years now.

I got home and Tim said they had a rough night of it. When I got in she was sleeping in her bed, wearing her sleep sack and was full of milk and medicine. He didn't say much to me regarding his night but went to bed straight away. This morning he said that during the hour of non-stop crying he seriously considered wanting to divorce me, or sell the baby. What a punk....that just tells me that he needs MORE quality time with the Bit. :P Besides, an hour of crying ? That's still totally better than it was back in the six weeks of hell.

Her reflux was acting up this morning. You know it's going to be a bad day when it starts out that rough. Only one more weekish to go until 4 months and I can start pretending that it's getting better. That reminds me that I need to call the pediatrician again today to see if they refilled her prevacid prescription and I can go and pick it up. I was also thinking of maybe stopping by Burlington's Baby Depot and taking a gander at what they have for Easter Dresses. You know, I have a gift card to Kohl -- they have baby clothes right? Maybe I should go there....hm.

We also got a package in the mail yesterday. The sister/brother in law in France sent a few adorable long sleeved onsies, a cute T-shirt and some weird kind of bloomer skirt? What the heck is it? It's rated 12 months though I wait until them to show you. There was also a small valentine's box that announced the impending arrival of a new cousin (sister/brother in law who already have a kid) due September 1st. Wow!

I guess that works out well, by the time the baby (who I predict is a boy) will come along Morella will have grown up enough to not be interesting any more to her grandparents on the paternal side. ;)

I was thinking yesterday that I have a crapload of cousins I don't know. And for Morella it will be the same way. Technically on my side of the family:

James had two kids -- both of which I will never see.
Doug had two kids - both of which I don't care to see.

Eh, I guess that isn't that much. I think that Tim's side of the family will fill the gap nicely.

Some days, I really try to limit how much I eat. Like today, I tried to keep it just breakfast, lunch and dinner and not snack too much. But by the end of the day I am just famished. I know it's too late to eat anything right now because soon I will be in bed and sleeping, but it's hard to resist rummaging for something to eat. I think when it's nicer that the exercise from walking the baby and dog will help alleviate the extra eating guilt.

I know, breastfeeding is huge -- it's an extra 800 calories a day, but that gets eaten up quickly when you snack on junk food.

Tonight I went to the library and ... wow, I guess Tuesday night is the night to go! It's full of cute, library college boys who look interesting to talk too. I almost felt bad that my hair was totally greasy and I was wearing athletic shoes with jeans...but eh. I was happy to get out of the house and indulge in some baby books without having to pay for them. One of the books I got is the "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" -- I am sure that once I finish reading this book I will have all the answers to how to whisper to Morella. Ha ha ha ha. Okay, but I am looking forward to reading it. Some new perspective would be nice.

When I got back Morella was red eyed with a crocodile tear hanging on her cheek. Tim said that she cried almost the entire hour that I was gone. Sigh. I took her but she cried for me too until I put on some music and danced with her. Eventually I gave her some bottle but during that and afterward she would intermittently wail. I just don't think that she was feeling that good tonight. I guess it's a really good thing I'll be able to decode every sound she makes in a few short days. ;)

I guess Daylight savings time isn't that bad. When Tim got home from work there was enough sunlight and it was warm enough that we were able to leave the house and go on a walk with Pluto. Ahh it was nice to get out and get some fresh air and exercise. :D I think we are going to do the same thing tomorrow too since it will be warm again.

I am looking forward to the hair cute...my bangs are long and totally annoying me. I would cut them myself but I would rather have a professional do it and have it go along with a hair cut style. Besides, I have done a crappy job of it lately.

Alright, I have to go and make a bottle, drink some water and try to forget the empty chasm inside my stomach. No, I should focus on telling my body to eat all that extra fat chub hanging around....there is plenty of it to go around! It's a good thing those girl scout cookies are finally gone. Laima brought over some awesome food last night so I had breakfast and dinner made, and she brought over some cinnamon rolls -- of which I scarfed down in no time. I think she is hired...I have been looking for a cook for some time. ;)

Despite me saying I need to quit eating so much junk food, I am really interested in trying out the Clone of Cinnabon recipe on allrecipes.com. Maybe tomorrow. Though ... today flew by and I honestly don't know how that happened. I felt like I got nothing done and yet the day was packed enough that I didn't have any internet time until tonight. And see? Now that I got in that extra 1/2 hour to actually type and respond to comments, and emails means that I am not going to bed until 12. :(

Five Minute Post

• Daylight Savings Time is much harder to deal with when you have a baby.
• You are not supposed to leave in baby oil overnight and part of the next day to combat cradle cap. It's uncomfortable for the baby and anyone holding her. You should apparently wash it out after 15 minutes. Whoops! Live and learn...
• Todays field trip was a trip to Target to buy some disposable diapers. We use them only for overnight and when sitters are here so we are pretty sure this is going to last us a very long time. In face she might grow out of them before we are done with them. After that we went to Copps because Woodman's was packed again. We only needed a few staples and we wanted to do something different. Copps has the best fun selection of baked goods, olives and free samples. It was good to get out because Morella woke up the second time in a cranky mood. I also love how people take peeks at her....:)
• I am getting my hair cut on St. Patricks Day. My friend needs a hair model for a salon interview and I need my hair cut. I am going to donate my hair to Locks of Love...I may also be getting some color added to it! Only a little bit and not near the scalp though since I am allergic to hair dye. I think the number one goal here (aside from my friend getting the job) is that I don't walk out with 'Mom Hair."
• Morella has been temporarily cured of the Mommie's with some good intensive Daddy therapy. Actually, I did some research and found that the best time to make the switch and help her be more comfortable is when she is happy and relaxed -- aka -- the morning. So if Tim takes her right away in the morning and goes on throughout the day then she is totally fine. Whew, that's a relief!
• Tim made a seafood salad for dinner. It was good.
• My big project for the last two weeks is a care package for a friend. Man, it's ongoing and I hope she likes it. I have had plenty of time to put lots of thought into it that's for sure, but it's also sort of fun to be able to think carefully about something like this and not just throw it together or just "buy" something.
  
• Five minutes are up. I am so tired. Zzzzzzz.
  

Three and half weeks version 2.0

So, I guess between 3-4 months is when I am supposed to switch to going by her birthday instead of weeks. That said, here is Morella at three and half months....again.

This outfit is from Janet, my great coworker whom I miss very much. :( The outfit was way too big on her three weeks ago and now, it might have another week left before she outgrows it. I think she went through a huge growth spurt the last two weeks. So many clothes have quit fitting all of a sudden. This photo was taken today.


I wanted to remember how small her hands were, so I made sure to take a photo of them with mine for size. She was just getting up from a nap when I snapped this one.

Hilary and Cullen at Cool Beans on Wednesday -- my Get the Heck Out of the House Day.

Here I am with a baby that I look like I kidnapped. We look SO different from each other! I was really surprised to discover that she could finally wear the cool owl shirt from Kate and Eric and the pink hoodie and pants from Uncle Ben and Kelly that she got at Christmas.

This was taken tonight. Morella has a serious case of the Mommy's. THIS is what that looks like. I would take her every 10-15 minutes for a few minutes to calm her down. Otherwise she screamed and cried when Tim was holding her. As soon as I picked her up she stopped. This weekend looks like its going to be another Intensive Daddy Therapy weekend. Last weekend she was upset all day Saturday but was okay by the evening and on Sunday and Monday she had no problems. But over the course of the week, she devolved back into this. It's so hard! I want her to be able to find comfort in Tim and lets face it, if she isn't finding comfort in the second person that she has the most contact with then what does the future hold for babysitting? I wish there was more information on how to help with this. I know it takes time, maybe it's a phase...but what if it isn't? What if it is the start of me never being able to leave her side?

I leave with you Little Baby in a Big World. I took this one today. She is in the saucer with no towels or pillows. Just her. Still too little for it to be effective.

I have never heard of this before, but it would seem to fit our case. Morella started waking up in the night crying, it has happened for the last five days. At first it was at 5, then four and four and now it's at three in the morning. The first time I let her fuss herself back, but it was hard on us and we got little sleep. The second night I got her a bottle, but she was asleep by the time I got back to her (but she woke up later at five and I gave it to he then, she ate most of it and crashed right away). The last two nights when she wakes up, I have flipped her back onto her tummy and she sleeps the rest of the night with no problems.

She gets up in the morning, takes her medicine, eats and then goes back to sleep in about an hour to hour and half. Then she takes her long morning nap, except the last few days she wakes every hour crying -- but see, I don't think she is really awake. She will cry and then go back to sleep within five minutes.

Anyway, one theory is that this is called Sleep Regression and that it happens at four months (as well as 8 months). The reason for this being that they are hitting some pretty big developmental milestones and the extra brain activity keeps them up at night. I know that others might think that she is hungry (and therefore a reason to start solids), but I just don't think that is the case since she is asleep in five minutes ... or maybe she is. I don't know. I do know that she is fitting this restless sleep pattern, that I didn't know about before this week. Why didn't What to Expect or Be Prepared talk about this? It seems like every other person thinks it's common knowledge.

Other big things this week:

--she is really taking an interest in the animals and follow their movements

--she prefers adult faces to those of babies, and likes to interact with people.

--she continues to be a great sitter and sits on my knee while dinner and computer time, unfortunately she also want to "sit" while I am carrying her face forward which makes for a very droopy and unstable baby. The days of one armed baby carrying might over until she masters and gets big enough for the hip hold. Though, of course the moby wrap helps with this immensely.

--She can be pulled up from laying down without supporting her head! I noticed that today. I know for a fact she couldn't do that last week.

-She reaches for stuff well and we notice that she does it predominately with her left hand. I think we might have a lefty...of course we won't know for two years..but that is just my observation.

--Tummy time is coming along well from all that sleeping on her tummy. She spends a good 5-10 minutes on her tummy after waking up without crying and pushing up, looking around and reaching for toys that I put in front of her.

--Still no big belly laugh. Man she is making us work for it.
--Still no rolling over.
--Still no change in her eye color.

Also, I have been wondering how people go by the age of their kid. I mean we have been counting the weeks...so tomorrow she is 15 weeks old -- which would be one month and three weeks. But my ticker, says she will only be one month and 2 weeks old...at what point do people start going by the month based on their birthday? Does that make sense? Hm.

Impossible! Morella has now been sleeping for 2 hours and 20 minutes! TWO HOURS AND TWENTY MINUTES!!!! She has gotten up at 4:00 am these past two mornings -- and yesterday I let her sleep it off, but this morning she was more insistent so I fed her and she went right back to sleep. Then I had to get up her up at 7 -- she ate and then went back to sleep at 8 and slept until 12...she's sleeping a lot .. and eating lot. Do we have a growth spurt happening?

AND...here is our little sweetie this morning:



If that doesn't work click on this link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9HIqx089y8

A few things:

No Oliver, I won't abandon my blog for Facebook -- in fact I bought two years for this domain as opposed to just renewing it for one year at a time. Let's face it, I am addicted to blogging. I was ever since I read my first "blog" by stumbling upon this Australian kid's back in 1999. I was inspired to do my own and in fact in the beginning days would update a websites manually without the fancy blogger program. Eventually I did discover blogger (thanks to that same kid...I wonder what ever happened to him?) and the rest is history. :) In fact, I used to print out pages of my blog as a written document but quite doing that after a year or so. I wonder if I even have those anywhere still..I am sure I do. I just don't know where. One day I would like to get the whole thing printed out and keep it as a massive diary -- but I don't think pictures will be included in it. I don't think it works that way. Anyway. Rest assured my drivel is here for the world to read. :D

A sidenote about Facebook -- I have now reconnected with 5 long lost friends -- it's incredible! One of my younger brothers just joined too and I haven't really had a chance to talk or communicate with him in forever! It's just amazing at how I've discovered so many people I thought I would never speak to again.

Sarah - I think we are going to end up getting a stroller. Thank you for the recommendation. Maybe even this month -- I guess it depends on when it finally decides to stop snowing. To be honest, it didn't even occur to me that one could bring the stroller into the library and that might be a nice thing...

Today, I woke up and discovered that it was 50 degrees outside! You know that means...another walk! So we tossed the Bit into her light Finnish snow suit, packed her up in the Daddyroo (ha ha I love that nickname) and set out for a walk with the dog. It was much windier than last time so I am not completely sure that Morella enjoyed it as much. Though there was less fussing than last time. An interesting side note to that, the Grandparents mentioned that babies don't like the wind in their face because they gulp the air. Huh...Tim did say that she gulped a little bit. I guess I haven't noticed because I haven't had her on me when we went for a walk and they are always walking ahead while I have to drag the dog along and fight with him over every possible sniff spot.

Morella was a little angel today. Energetic, happy and overall a nice baby. Yesterday was another story. We decided to really tackle Morella's case of the Mommy and have Tim spend time with her. She fussed most of the morning and wasn't taking bottles easily, but by the evening she and Tim were getting along great! Then we went over to visit Uncle Phil and Aunt Kandance (who gave Morella an adorable set of baby ballet slippers and some cool clothes for when she is bigger) but she cried most of the time there. I had to finally step in and feed her to make sure that she ate her last bottle of the evening, but handed her off again afterward. She did eventually settle down a little to sleep ... but she fought it like the dickens. I think to keep this up, Tim is going to have to feed her at least one bottle a day and maybe take over her night time routine which is medicine, getting a sposie and jammies on. Then I take her and put to sleep.

She is SUCH a sweetie (to me) -- it's easy to make sure she gets other people time since I know I get her all week. She's becoming so much more interactive. Other Morella notes:

--she is gurgling less (Tim noticed it) so we think she might finally be outgrowing her laryngomalacia (floppy larynx). That's great, now if her reflux can get better we might really have a good chance of her passing her next barium swallow study set for April 2nd. She has exactly one month to finish healing and get over this...I can't wait for her to drink a normal bottle of just pumped milk instead of the fortified goopy mixes.

--I bought a hand mixer for making these bottles and ... what a time saver. We both wonder how we got along without it. This purchase inspired me to buy a pill eater...uh one of those little things that shaves off pills from sweaters and coats. It's amazing -- my coat is going to look like brand new when I am finished shaving it. We also have some sweaters that need some TLC.

--Morella's grandparents visited today and watched her while we ran some errands. We got a Chicago style dog, a brake light, lots of curry mixes and rice for Indian food from the Maharaja grocery, dog food and then we went out for a drink. At first we tried Genna's but they don't open until 8 -- so we went over to the old Fashioned. I had the most delicious drink ever a warm apple cider with a splash of peach schnappes...oh my ... was that ever good. I think it's going to have to be served at our next holiday party.

--After errands we came back to a old world crock pot dinner of kielbasa, sauerkraut, potatoes, apples and a beer to bring it all together. (there were onions, brown sugar and..you don't want the recipe why I am going into such detail..). We also used the bread machine to make a mix of Wheat Bread I had in the cupboard. The bread turned out okay -- it was a bit airy. But warm bread drenched in butter is always delicious. ;)

--I am so glad that I am down to 5 pumps a day, but I am really looking forward to dropping down to four. I might wait until she is five months to do that, so only a month and half to go. It has gotten a lot easier dropping to this number and maintaining a 40-43 ounce a day supply. We are saving LOTS of milk. Before we had gotten to far into our collection I did unfreeze one and do a taste/smell test with fresh milk vs frozen milk and they were both the same. Thank goodness! I don't know if I could handle having to scald milk every night in addition to freezing it, pumping it, storing, making bottles -- etc. It just amazes that some people think pumping is the easy way out of breastfeeding. It's twice the work and then some!

--uh oh, these were supposed to be Morella notes...whoops. Okay -- what else. Oh Morella is sitting on our knees very well. I can now sit with her at the computer desk and while we are eating. She has a very straight back and only needs a little support to keep her from falling sideways. She is also reaching for lots of things (including my dinner plate -- though it's just to touch I don't think she's actually interested in eating yet). She reaches for her book at the diaper station and she is constantly batting and helping me turn pages when I read her books in the morning. Speaking of which, we need more books. I think weekly trips to the library might be in order (as a field trip) and for some new reading material. Once we get that stroller then we will even be able to walk to the library...oh..that sounds great.

Morella's tummy time is much better she is getting much better at supporting herself with her arms, though she is not yet at the stage where she can push herself up with her arms.

Uh, I am going to stop now. I need to go wash pumping gear and start pumping. I would like to be in bed by 11.30 and catching some zzz's.