REMEMBER REMEMBER
BEWARE NOVEMBER!

Awesome -- the Christmas movies have begun. I'm a sucker for these you know.

What is NOT awesome was that we took Morella to Urgent Care tonight. The day was great. She ate well, drank well, played well and even her separation anxiety a wee bit less today. We took a walk and she enjoyed looking at Christmas light displays.

During dinner of Kiwi (her first time) and french bread pizza a new event occurred. She ate the first half of the kiwi fine. I went to cut her up some more and give her time to try the french bread pizza. It was just the soft bread, a cheese and pepperoni cut up into little pieces. Suddenly, she ripped the piece of bread out of her mouth. I figured she didn't like the spices so we gave her a plain piece of french bread with some sauce spread over it and mozarella sprinkled on top. She tried the cheese and did the same thing -- clawed the food out of her mouth and screamed. We tried applesauce -- same thing. Milk - same thing. I took her out of the high chair and tried to look in her throat, I did a finger sweep .... but she was still breathing and crying... but it was so hysterical!

We we called Urgent Care. Everything went through my head from a piece of fruit lodged in her mouth, to a violent reaction to the kiwi, to ... well mostly the violent reaction to kiwi. The nurse I spoke with was very irritating to me. She seemed to imply that I was an overreacting parent and if I just let her calm down for five minutes she would be fine. Except, you know, we tried that and it wasn't fine. I was getting very angry and handed the phone over to Tim because I couldn't talk to her anymore. A few minutes later Tim said we were taking Morella to Urgent Care.

We put her in the car and she fell asleep on the way there. She seemed to be drooling excessively and still cried when she drank something. We got there, I had to use the bathroom and Tim and Morella went to look at the fish. She was smiling and seemed happier. When I got out of the bathroom I heard crying. I looked around and found her naked sitting on the scale. Hey guess what! Good news is that she now weighs 16 pounds and 11 oz!! She gained almost all the weight back from the start of the month. Anyway. Long story short -- the doctor was able to look down her throat and we both saw that she had a bleeding abrasion at the back of her throat. I have no idea how she got it. I would say bread, except she didn't have any of it that we saw, and kiwi is super acidic so I can see how she freaked out.

So yeah. No more solids for tonight. Cold liquids. He said the throat heals fast and that she seemed to be doing better already. Which she was. As he said that she was sitting up pointing belligerently at a poster of a woman blowing her nose on the wall and shrieking happily.

Sigh. I swear she is going to take several years off our life this year. Moral of the story today -- no more new foods on Sunday!

Thank goodness this is the last day of November. It's been one hell of a month.

Morella is currently sitting on the floor taking everything out of my purse and diaper bag (purse is tucked inside diaper bag) and tasting everything (kleenex, travel wipes .... but really it's the kleenex that are a hit).

She woke up at 4.11 this morning. I got her some milk, she drank a bunch of it and instead of letting her stay up I put her back to her crib right away. She protested a little but feel asleep and then woke up again at 7.30. MUCH better! We were starting to think that she might make the 3:00AM milk hour a regular nightly thing.

Oh there she goes down the hall. If she goes into the bathroom, I do need to put my contacts in...oh there she goes..brb.

--Later- Hey I finally found the thank you list from Morella's Norovirus party! Awesome. I can start writing thank yous before we start on Xmas cards. I am thinking I might just bite the bullet and buy some labels from office max or staples or something. My own personal supply has greatly been diminished over the past several years. It's bound to happen when you don't work in an office anymore. ;)

IT's starting to snow here. I am thinking that we are going to go out we should do it early. I know we need some things from the grocery store since Morella isn't hip with pears and peaches right now. Sheesh. One day she loves it the next couple of days -- not so much. She's really into blueberries and raspberries right now, and yogurt.

I'm kind of sad that it's the last day of Thanksgiving vacation right now. It was really nice having Tim home for long stretch of time. I am just starting to feel recovered from the month of heck.

Morella is in her room right now doing her morning quiet time. She isn't being quiet. It's alternating between talking and whining. She has been quite a challenge lately. I mean sickness aside, now that she is better she is still retaining some of that "everyone must be in the same room at the same time!" And "I want up!" and "I want down!" and "I'm hungry! But not for that!" and "The "________" scares me!" and "I'm tired!" with "No wait, I'm not tired!"

The pediatrician, and all the literature suggests that when they turn one they kind of go through a phase like this. I think since all of Morella's previous phases have seemed so mild, I expected this to be much the same. But she's taken that whole separation, uncertainty about everything to a whole new level. I am taking comfort in a few things though:

1. She's not sick (that we know of)
2. She is eating and drinking.
3. She is going through a developmental growth spurt and will emerge smarter than ever in a few days/weeks.

In other news, Thanksgiving was pretty good. The food was excellent and Morella just gobbled up that turkey like no bodies business -- once we got home! Sheesh. The mashed potatos were some of the best I've ever had. I was disappointed about not making a pie -- but we remedied that last night. I made the crusts and Tim made the sweet potato filling (from scratch!!!, like boiling potatoes and everything), while I put up the Christmas tree, moved furniture around to accommodate it, put together a little tree for Morella and watched one of Tim's favorite movies from his childhood streaming over xbox live -- Flash Gordon.

It was a really nice night! So far I would say that this Thanksgiving weekend is going great. It's just what I needed to rest and recharge after this crazy month.

I am going to make tacos for lunch. Tim is thawing the ground turkey right now.

----hours later ---

So much for that quiet time turning into a nap. Now we are trying again but after lunch. We had tacos she had a quesadilla she didn't touch, blueberries and shredded cheese -- oh and applesauce. Geez. Can a baby live on berries alone?! She is taking her nap now whether she likes it or not. ;)

Oh I was also going to talk about how I went out shopping yesterday and it was great. I was by myself. I was admist the hordes of shoppers -- sometimes being large crowds really soothes me. But only if I am by myself.

Tim just started up gears of war -- it's the perfect thing to do on a holiday weekend in the afternoon, don't you think? More later. I have to download some pictures too.

I almost feel guilty for the last two hours of free time I have had. I washed dishes, did a few loads of laundry (still not put away though) swept the living room floor and rugs, caught up on the internet, wrote an email or two...and talked to Tim. Now I am hoping to squeeze in a quick post about Morella's 12 month Well Check.

Weight: 16.3 -- she is way off the charts. :(
Length: 28.5 -*- about 30% (consistent)

The good news is that she isn't dehydrated. I don't know how she does it, but she has managed to not become dehydrated ... no wait I should take credit for that. (yoink). I asked if she was failing to thrive and she said no. That was more for undiagnosed reasons as to why a child isn't gaining weight. We KNOW why Morella isn't gaining weight -- teething, mastoiditis, stomach flu... she just needs to get over all of this and be healthy for a while and she'll start gaining again.

In the meantime, she did not get her 12 month shots, or follow up flu shot because she is not well enough for them. I am to try and get her to drink a 12oz can of pediasure a day by hook or by crook.

She has a follow up appointment next Friday. Her appointment for her followup Barium Swallow study is next Wednesday. Ugh doctors doctors doctors. oh and her follow up with the ENT is the following Tuesday. Poor kid. She has seen so many doctors.

So. I need to go to the grocery store at some point today. I was going to buy some eggs and sugar too so that I can make a pumpkin pie for the house. You know, Morella loves it and it's high fat and ... well it would be good to have our own homemade pie around the house.

I decided that we are going to just go to Tim's parents for the day. He is going to make the call sometime today.

I am almost done with New Moon -- I should order the next book soon. I wonder if I'll have to wait 2.5 months again...oh wait, I bet it's longer because of the movie that came out (Twilight is book one in the series). It has been really nice to have something to read. It's a great way to focus on something other than pain (stomach flu) and relieve anxiety (Morella).

Tim and I watched a movie (Justice League: New Frontier) via Netflix last night on the xbox! It was cool. We also got Wall-E -- so hurray for a big movie to watch over the holiday weekend!

I also misplaced the paper with all Morella's gifts and who gave what. Ugh. I gotta clean the bedroom and find it STAT!

I know you are probably getting sick of it. Blah blah Morella. But really it's pretty all consuming. And journal is really more for me than anything else.

Today was slightly better. She mostly wanted to be carried around. Whenever we put her down she stayed quite near me. The longest she spent by herself sitting was on the couch playing with tissue paper, or looking at books. For the most part, when she wasn't sleeping, she was being carried around. She has circles under her eyes, and I think her skin feels softer to me -- less supple. Whenever she did crawl she looked like she might be in pain. When I had the stomach bug I had pretty bad aches all over, especially in my legs so maybe that was it. Anyway. She wasn't as listless. She laughed a few times and she ate more -- more being a handful of cheerios, a whole saltine cracker, about 1/4 cup of noodles, about 10 yogurt melts and a few bites of applesauce. She did drink milk, breastmilk, and pedialyte -- but only sips here and there. I really had to keep at her with that.

Tim stayed home today -- but ended up working a lot from the work computer. It was nice to have a little help. I managed to do some laundry- wash all her toys and disinfect, and read. I should take a shower. Like really I should, but I don't think that pizza is sitting to well with me. :(

I almost wonder if I shouldn't cancel going to Tim's parent's for Thanksgiving since she isn't herself and screwing up her schedule and surroundings would just make things more stressful for her. I guess we could try and make it for Thursday dinner and spend the afternoon there and then come home. Plus we haven't found anyone to watch Pluto so yeah.

We took Morella to the doctor again today. She was just so ... listless. For the most part she slumped her body to ours and rested her head on our shoulder. She took several naps -- falling asleep on Tim once, and then taking a nap with me in the bedroom. She did drink about 13-14 oz in liquids (thank goodness) but ate only a handfull of corn puffs and 1/2 a saltine cracker.

The pediatrician, whom Tim said he liked better than the old one, said that the antibiotics she was on may have prolonged her illness. She said that we have the "cruise virus" and that it was on the news a few days ago. Meaning, that this terrible, terrible stomach flu we had is all over town! She said that Morella seemed to be on the mend, but noticed that her right ear was a little red inside. So she called the ENT and he said:

1. Extend her antibiotic dosage for another week.
2. It was mistake for her not to have a follow up with an ENT and he was going to talking to residents about poor protocol. They had told us to just have a follow up with the pediatrician.

You know, considering how rare her condition was, it would make sense that professionals would want to follow it up and make sure it was gone instead of passing the buck off. Hm.

3. Keep offering her as much liquids as possible. Preferably milk.

Which brings me to another depressing bit of news. My milk supply has crashed and burned...today I only pumped 11 ounces. We were going to start weaning her over to milk at about this time, but I had planned on doing it slowly to make sure there were no reactions and that she could tolerate it. But with my plummeting milk supply, and her tender tummy I don't know if I am so willing to jump on that bandwagon, and yet...what can I do?

After the doctor she went to sleep at 6.30 and has been sleeping since then. Tim went to sleep at 7 and is still snoring. I decided to stay up and read New Moon in the office on the futon. Man, I really gotta put plastic on those windows in there. It's cold! This is the first year that I haven't put plastic on the windows by Thanksgiving. Sheesh. But to my credit, this past month has been kind of hard.

I mean. I feel almost like it's too much. I want so much for Morella to just be a normal, healthy little girl. A girl who eats and drinks. A sweet gal who never had to deal with silent aspiration, severe reflux, mastoiditis, and stomach flu from hell. It's taking it's toll on me. I feel like I want to curl up into bed and just read or craft or watch movies until this all blows over. Find someway to detach my self from the situation so it's more bearable.

That said, I did manage two pieces of pizza, and a piece of cake today. I haven't eaten much else. I'm sure that could have something to do with the milk supply. To think, that even as little as a month ago I wondered how I would do this whole weaning thing, I thought about if I would delay it...and how I would go about lowering my supply. Now look, it's not even a question. It's happening.

Okay. I guess I am going to go and read a little more. I am not ready for bed yet. I guess I am just too wound up still, and also kind of waiting to see if Morella will wake up. I should go and check on her. She isn't in a sleep sack, so I could make sure she is covered at the very least.

Sometimes I wish I just could turn sleep off and on. You know, budget it on my own. Like money or something.

It's a sick house here. After a long night Tim decided to stay home today to recover. We all feel weak as kittens. I had a piece of cake this morning, but no other food has seemed very attractive to me.

Morella got up and drank 6 ounces of milk, and then another 2-3 ounces of gatorade, and then went back to sleep. Thank goodness she seems to be holding liquids down. Tim is snorning in the bedroom right now, and I am sitting on the futon bed reading about werewolves, vampires and teenagers. I did call my Mom and had a very depressing conversation and tried to change the subject matter several times. Finally, at the point where she was telling me what everyone thought of her drug regime and her going back to the time she lost control with my younger brother, I said "Gee Mom, you are a bucket of sunshine!"

It took her a few seconds for that meaning to sink in, and then she turned it back on herself. "OH I am sorry for being so depressing...blah blah blah" I HATE it whenever someone turns stuff back on themselves. You can't just say "Hey lets quit talk about insanity...and talk about crafts" without her going "Oh, look at me...There I am talking about crazy things because I am so stupid, and nuts and blah blah blah."

See?

Anyway. She said that they ate the Thanksgiving dinner from the food pantry yesterday and are planning on having pizza for the actual Thanksgiving dinner.

Morella's 1st Birthday

In short -- HORRIBLE! One of the worst days of my entire life.

It started with her waking at 3:00AM crying. Tim got her up, gave her a few nibles, she drank a little water and went back to sleep at 3.30 (This was after not eating anything on Saturday). I couldn't go back to sleep though. I tossed and turned. Finally, I decided to go into the office and lay on the futon bed there and read until it passed. Except "it" became a terrible stomach bug.

It started with the runs...and then three hours later graduated to vomiting. Then it pretty much alternated all morning until 12.45 (my last puke...thank goodness for puke bowls and the foresight to ask for them). Morella's party was to start at 2:00. There was a lot to be done, and I couldn't stand for more than 30 seconds, not to mention I was having the worst stomach cramps ever -- that rival contractions!

I called some friends of mine and tearfully asked them to come over and help. Thank goodness for good friends like Cecci and Christian. Then my Dad and Barb (stepmom) came super early. Ugh. I wasnt' ready for them, but it worked out because Barb helped clean up the toys and straightne up Morella's diaster of a room.

Morella was whiny all day, and spent much of it crying. She only wanted to be held by me or Tim. I was feeling well enough to sit on the couch and drink gatorade. The party went on. Poor Tim was run ragged.

However, she made out like a bandit -- especially in clothes -- but I am sure we can all agree that we would much prefer a healthy, feeling good Morella over anything else.

After everyone left, she took a short nap and got up crying. I picked up her up and paced and finally ended up back in the futon looking at books, signing Christmas songs and what not. She calmed down, would lay her head down for a few minutes at a time and lift it recharged. She worked on a sippy of breastmilk (we were worried because she dind't eat or drink much today either). Later on, Tim came and laid on her other side next to the wall. We were doing great until she started projectile vomiting.

She was so scared by it, and though I saw that she was going to vomit for a third time, I picked her up and hugged her as it spewed all down my back and into a bucket of toys. I changed her. Changed myself. She played with a new toy for awhile and then I put her down. Tim went out and bought pedialyte, gatorade and immodium -- because guess who has it now?

And let me assure you the world is ending.

No really. I was so sick and overwhelmed and tired today that I just cried (must like last night) about how I felt I couldn't do it. Wasn't there anyone that could help? I needed help! At the same time, Morella didn't want help from anyone other than me or Tim. But at least I got some help with the house for the party, and it's done now.

I have also still been up since 3:00 last night, and I have not eaten a single thing. I need to put her cake away so I can have a piece tomorrow and some pizza.

God I hope no one else gets sick. It was too late to cancel when this was dumped on us. I will feel forever regretful if anyone else gets it. Thankfully, Morella only wanted to be held by me or Tim for the most part. I know I handed her off to Sarah. Sarah -- drink some orange juice!

I think I just want this month to end without any thing else going wrong.

But thank you to everyone who came. It was quite clear from the packed room, just how many good friends Morella, Tim and I have. We are truly blessed. :)

PS-- I want a do over. I might just pretend another day this week is her birthday so I can shower her with attention and not feel like curling up to die.

Friday Photos: 3rd Week of November



Tim, Morella and Pluto on the couch.



Our friend from the Czech Republic Mike, and Morella.




Mike is having his own baby come January. Here he is getting a little practice. ;)

Uff. Tired.

Morella went to bed at 7.30 no problem but woke up crying an hour later. She was off and on for about 30 minutes before I relented and got her. I gave her some pain medicine in case that was it (she was crabby/sensitive earlier) but as soon as I sat her down on my lap on the couch she was a very playful baby. But I kept it boring...and she played independently extremely well. I just put her down again after shutting down the house. I hope she sleeps. I thought I would just pop on real quick since I missed yesterday. I know I am out of the running for posting every day but I can sure make up for it by posting almost every day until the new year. Right? Right.

Pluto really misses Tim. He must be having fun because we have heard nary a word from him. It's always "bad timing". Being two hours in past is hard on schedules.

Oh I just realized the spell check got turned off on the computer somehow. Great if you see lots of misspellings blame it on Morella.

Today was okay. Got up at the ass crack of dawn to feed baby, play and then have her take a nap. I tried to take one but I got a bible thumper at the door who was VERY loud, and two phone calls. No one else stops by or calls any other time of the day except when I am trying to take a nap. GAH!

Then we had lunch over at Noah's. His Mom and Dad made some killer, all from scratching using free range chicken broth even, chicken soup and warm cheese and bread. It was delicious and such a heavenly thing not have extra dishes to wash tonight. I washed dishes in record time! I had a bit of a second wind after she went down, and was going to get through pumping and then do some stuff...but that's gone now. :( I didn't even get a great pumping session in but am too tired to care and try and catch up. 20 minutes will have to do. My supply is so low right now. I hope she can transition to whole cow's milk without a problem. *crosses fingers*

See you on the flip side.

What does it mean when old folks say "See you on/in the funny pages." Do they mean obituaries? Comics? What?!? I've always wondered that.

Quickly now. Morella went down for her nap at 3.46PM. It's not an hour and half past that and the naps seems to be around 2 hours these days. I went and ordered her cake this afternoon because she didn't want to sleep earlier. They didn't have any kitties or puppies and I was too arsed to bring in photograph of one. Besides that would look stupid. So I decided on a claymation horsie toy. It's kind of like a dog.

I got butter cream and went with white. Personally I don't like marble and I wasn't sure if chocolate was the way to go for a first cake. Meh. Next year I can make her a chocolate cake.

I got a doctor's appointment this morning at 10:45. I had to wake Morella up from her morning nap for the second day in a row (suck!) to make it. They swabbed my throat and after charging me $10 bucks said "It's like a cold, except in your throat. Take some ibuprofen and suck on some lozenges." Honestly the doctor seemed WAY more interested in Morella's mastoiditis case from last week. I could almost feel him itching to examine her because it's such a rare thing to happen nowadays. Sheesh. In fact, he said "But today we will pay attention to Mom." Ha ha.

So I got some lozenges and a crap load of M and M's to fill the Nuts glass ball dispenser. If you come over you can have some. I decided it was going to be our holiday candy.

Chuck, Sigrid and Laima are coming over for a squash soup dinner tonight. Laima is bringing bread, Sigrid the dessert ... so it should be fun. I decided to make something easy that uses vegetables and I don't recall if Chuck is still a vegetarian or not...better safe than sorry.

On Sunday we had our Czech friend Mike visit. We picked him up from the airport at 12ish and dropped him off at 7ish. It was a good visit. He helped me set up my camera to take pictures of tiny Christmas trees I was going to sell...or at least try to. Sigh. We'll see how it goes. My mantra is "Do NOT get stressed out. Nothing is that important." He gave us a book with cartons that are almost indecipherable -- here is a review someone else did: homo digitalis by Rencin

He also left me with a delectable box of chocolate and Morella with a Mole puppet wearing a hat. :D I gave him a bunch of baby stuff because he is expecting their first child in early January.

What else did I do today? Not a whole lot. Ate lunch with the baby -- not a huge fan of tuna fish sandwiches though she was a sport and tried it out several times. Played with the baby. Will get babies dinner ready soon...ugh...spaghetti I think again..geez, I don't know what else. I need to think of a long list of things that kids like to eat. The soup isn't going to be ready yet other wise I would just give that to her. Last night she has black beans and loved them!

Speaking of dinner, I need to go and check on things.

This month is a big bucket of suck. I am 95% certain I have a case of tonsillitis. The last time I came down with a case of this it turned nasty fast, and this one is proving to follow after it's ancestors. I shouldn't be surprised considering I was surrounded by ENT's and have a bad habit of chewing my fingers. :( Hopefully I can get in to see someone about it tomorrow. I might as well pick up a yeast infection kit at Walgreen's while I am at since antibiotics and that go hand in hand.

Then today when I was going to the library to pick up a book I had ordered (New Moon) I hit a squirrel! I stopped afterward to see if I had hit it and it was jumping around in the middle of the road. Then a blue transam came after me, and stopped waiting for it to move, then as it decided to drive around it the squirrel jump up and the car hit it too. On the way home I saw that it was dead. My first road kill.

The third sucky thing today was that I accidentally put the tea kettle on the stove to heat up water and then realized later that the kettle was looking really dark red. I went in and saw that there was no water in it and it was melting! I didn't know that tea kettles could melt. Sheesh. So that tea kettle bit the dust. At least the burner still works fine. Tim, Morella and I went to Target to buy a new one this evening after dinner. We also got her a hat set with mittens. I didn't really need the hat but they didn't sell mittens separately...so...yeah. She picked out a monkey hat.

She was in a pretty good mood today despite me being a bad Mom and not changing her diaper after she got up from her afternoon nap. I guess I didn't think it would be that freaking soaked because she hadn't peed all morning. So she swam in a bucket of pee for maybe an hour or two.

Tim is packing all his stuff up for his trip tomorrow. Why do I have to get sick while he gone? Why do the communists have to storm the castle? Why can't things NOT suck for awhile!

Also I couldn't find any weeble wobbles at Target. I really wanted to get her some for her birthday. I guess I could look around some more. I also bought her a green striped T-shirt that Tim says is "boyish". I guess girls can't wear green. :P I promised to pair it with a pair of pink pants or something. But it was on clearance and she needs long sleeved shirts. I also got her a pair of brown fleece/cotton pants. I figure the brown will be a nice pair with all that pink and won't show crawling dirt as much.

For the second time in a row, I got to sleep in this morning! Yesterday it wasn't by much, and today it was only an hour longer - but hey it's nice. Tim has been getting up with the Mobug, eating breakfast with her and then giving her medicine because he is going to be gone starting Tuesday morning until .... until Saturday night around 6-ish. I have a feeling that his flight will be delayed and blah blah blah will happen and he will be the case where the guy was stuck at the airport and missing his daughther's first birthday. :P We'll see though.

So. Yeah. I am planning my week out. Monday morning we have Baby Bustout Playgroup, Tuesday we drive Tim to the airport and then my friend Chuck, Sigrid and maybe two ohters are coming over for dinner Tuesday night. I have two standing offers of dinner that I very well might take up. I mean, less cooking for me! And I wouldn't have to clean up!!! Ha ha ha.

But aside from that, I am thinking I would like to spend some detail cleaning on the house, organizing, clearning off surfaces and putting things back where they belong. That sort of thing -- the kind of thing that takes forever because I'll find a picture of Morella when she was 4th months on the green coffee table, and then start thinking about her baby book, and hey maybe I should do a page in that poorly neglected thing, and while I am looking at that I start thinking about making one of those graphics where you see the baby every month from birth to one year....and you get my drift.

Okay. Morella is having her morning quiet time. Sometimes she takes a nap during it. Sometimes she doesn't, but I usually use the time to take a shower, start laundry or do other things like that for a 1/2 hour. Oh crap, Tim went in there to cehck on her because he thought he heard something and now she is screaming like a banshee. Ahhh....screaming because she is tired and wants to play -- not because she is sick and in pain. :D I'll take it.

No but really, I should take a shower. With the drop in my supply, I guess my body is getting back to pre baby times -- complete with acne face and greasy hair. :P I could have done without that a lot longer. When is greasy hair ever gonna end?

I also need to think of good goodie bag things for her party. My only idea so far seems pretty lame. So lame, I won't even tell you. Ideas or suggestions welcome.

Ugh ... tired.

Today was a great day. Morella was bright eyed and bushy tailed, full of giggles and laughter, hearty appetite and good thirst. It was the kind of day I was looking forward to when she was sick. In fact, she's better than ever! It's like we got a new and improved Morella back.

We went to New Berlin to the Great Backyard to attend Morella's cousin's birthday party. She had fun, but all the noise overwhelmed her a little. I wonder if that is our fault because we live so quietly. Maybe if she had the TV on all the time she would be more accostumed to it.

She had a big piece of cake -- pratice for next weekend. Now I think well work on her opening presents this week while Tim is gone. I am thinking the crappier the present is wrapped -- the better! I bought her a new birthday outfit from Gymboree -- it's so cute. It has little scottie dogs on it, because you know small dogs are the funniest thing ever.

Thank goodness for healthy little girls.

Friday Photos: Hospital

These were all taken on the last day she was there, and when her IV was unhooked, because I gotta tell you, when the IV is in, you gotta do a lot more wrangling.

She did really well this morning. She drank six ounces of chocolate breastmilk, ate some yogurt, cheerios and a few bites of banana and had a few crackers before she laid down for her morning nap. I bet it's nice to get some quiet sleep.

Last but not least.... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIM! Just think, in a few more years you'll think this was young.

At 7:36 PM this evening Morella was officially discharged from the hospital. Her white blood count had dramatically improved this morning to 17 (normal is around 11). When she first went it was 30 ... or was it 40? In any case it was high. She had dramatic improvements with each consecutive day. The big concern today was whether or not she would drink anything. After they took out the IV and as the morning progress her appetite and drinking returned. Don't get me wrong, I would love to see her guzzle more liquids but it's more back to what it was before this whole nightmare began. The ENT himself said "She's always had problems with eating right? So you tell me what's normal." He also added that she "isn't your average bear," when it comes to typical eating patterns for babies/kids.

It seems so surreal to Tim and I. It almost feels like it was just one day spent at the hospital, though the days leading up to it felt as though it were an eternity. Even now, as she lays in her own bed sweetly sleeping, it doens't seem like it happened. Yet, I can't tell you enough how joyful it was to see her play, laugh, smile, dance and crawl around this evening just like her old self. That's one lesson - if she ever stops playing or crawling for more than 24 hours I am booking an appointment with the pediatrician right away. Of course, if she has a corresponding fever for more than 24 hours then you can be sure I'll be there quick as lightening.

Tidbit time:

• It's a good thing I didn't give up pumping completely because it meant I got "free" meals. I was the "breast feeding mother of Morella." That said, I ordered things for her and myself. I never intend on eating steamed broccoli but she seemed to love it, and who the heck orders slices of American cheese but a baby? With a side of applesauce. ;)
• Pumping -- my supply has crashed. I am now only getting 15-17 ounces a day. Was it the stress? Was it only doing two pumps for a day or two in a row? I would like to say I got more in, but you know how the last weeks have been around here. So I am not sure what to do. Keep going, I guess. It's not like she is drinking that whole amount still, though the chocolate syrup they had the hospital made the milk better than ever. I think I need to go and buy some regular milk chocolate syrup rather than using the special dark stuff I have at home. I brought a little container of that home to bridge me over.
  
• Morella made out like a bandit! I can't believe the stuffed animals, art supplies, awesome knitted hat, baby leg warmers, balloons, books and toys that she got in the course of these few days. Her birthday is still coming up in a week too!
  
• Tim finally was able to send birthday invitations out today. They had been ready to go since Monday except I never got a chance to go to the post office because of the drama.
• Morella had to have ear drops and oral antibiotics twice a day for 7 days. The ear drops we need to keep her head tilted to the side for five minutes. I don't know how that's gonna work.
• I am sick of eating hospital food. I think Morella was starting to really enjoy it though. We had a big feast at the end before we left thanks to the good folks at Roundy's.
  
• It's amazing how much stuff gets donated to the Children's Hospital. I suppose we were also housed with the cancer kids, and you get any sadder than that.
  
• I gotta pay bills tomorrow. :P
• I hope Morella catchs on sleep tomorrow, since she won't be interuppted, prodded and baby handled every time she takes a nap. I ask you, how does anyone ever get better at the hospital with all those interupptions in sleep? One of the nurses told me that before the new hospital was built, that it was 5 times more noisy. Ugh. I can't imagine.
• I wish we had a toy room filled cool toys, books and round the clock eager volunteers who want to play with babies.
• I'm pretty happy to be home, and will probable feel even happier tomorrow when my little scamperdoodle is back to leaving a trail of messes.
• Lastly .....

A BIG THANK YOU! To all the folks who wished Morella well and kept us in their thoughts. I am 100% convinced that all that good energy helped Morella get better faster and on the road to recovery.

Yesterday, I had decided I was going to call the doctor. I got a chance to read the very speedy first two comments from from LJ friends before I heard Morella stirring and went to wake her up. She was crying pathetically -- the soft "eh eh eh' cry and I gave her some milk to drink which she drank as much of before stopping and crying some more. I realized she was hot so I checked her temperature while I changed her. Under the arm - 102.1 (add one degree to 103.1) I gave her some tylenol, and carried her a little -- but she looked like she wanted to go back to sleep. Then I thought "Hey, her ear STILL looks funny.

You see, the night before we noticed that her right hear was sort of sticking out. We figured she had just slept on it wrong since she took such a massive nap. After "ear infection" entered my morning vocabulary and "sick" I noticed that it was sticking out even more, and swollen behind it to the point of turning purple. I called the pediatrician right away. She got me an appointment for Urgent Care in a 1/2 an hour. I called Tim and asked to go with me. We got to the appointment, she was weighed - 16lb 2 oz -- she lost 10 ounces and was mildly dehydrated. The attending Urgent Care woman looked in her ear and confirmed it was an ear infection, however she got a second opinion from Morella's pediatrician who said the swelling behind the ear was cause for concern. The said to go to ER at the UW Hospital so that an ENT could take a look at her. The pediatrician said that they might want a CT scan to see if she had an abscess and that if that is the case then they might want to do surgery. Mostly she tried to assure us, the trip to ER was just to assess how bad the infection is to determine the right dose of antibiotics.

Of course what she really meant to say, and was later asked and commented to us a thousand times by all the folks in ER was that she might have Mastoiditis. What's that, you ask?

Mastoiditis is an infection of the mastoid process, the portion of the temporal bone of the skull that is behind the ear. It is usually caused by untreated acute otitis media (middle ear infection) and used to be a leading cause of child mortality. With the development of antibiotics, however, mastoiditis has become quite rare in developed countries, most likely due to antibiotic treatment of otitis media before it can spread. It is treated with medications and/or surgery. If untreated, the infection can spread to surrounding structures, including the brain, causing serious complications.

While in the ER, she was hooked up to IV to start fluids, take blood, administer antibiotics, a mild sedative, etc. She had a rectal temperature of 104.7. The temp alone would have assured her an over night stay. However, the CT scan (after a visit to the sedation clinic) revealed that she DID have Mastoiditis and surgery was scheduled for that night. They explained that they were going to make a cut in her timpanic membrane and suction all the puss and blood out as best at they could, followed up by antibiotics, ear drops and supervision to see if the swelling, fevers and white blood cell counts go down. If they don't, she may have a follow up surgery where they cut the outside of her ear (versus going through the ear canal) to clean the infection up more. I am a little worried this might happen because the Surgeon said that they didn't get *as* much blood and puss as he would have expected. He also mentioned that it appeared to have started to burst own with a little leaking starting. But nothing was coming out. And for the record, I would like to point out that she never pulled her ears or rubbed her head or anything. The only thing she ever did was rub her mouth.

So that is where we are at folks.

Oh she is awake!

Teething Hell Day III

She hasn't played with a toy or crawled in two full days, now we are working on a third full day. :( I take back all the crabbing I did about her fussiness before. I was wrong. I didn't know how bad it could get.

I hope that in as little as one year, Tim and I will look back onto this cold November day. The kind of day where the sky is so grey and overcast that you cannot be sure of the time without peeking at a clock. We will look back and congratule each other in that special survivor way. "Can you believe we made it through that teething spell?"

I got her at 2:45 this morning when she awoke, howling that raw cry of hers. I gave her some Motrin and held her, gave her a few sips of water juice and she cried for 30 unstoppable minutes before I put her back down. This morning she was up at 6:00 screaming through the monitor, her cries leaking underneath her bedroom door and seeping through the walls. I went and got her and brought her to the bedroom. There she sat and cried between us until Tim finally got up and gave her some breakfast. She stopped crying long enough to eat 1/2 a pear, a few cheerios and take a few sips of breastmilk before dissolving into tears again.

Yesterday I commented as she ate a few grape quarters "Every grape bit you eat is fuel for another tear."

None of the tricks are working. No dancing. No music. No mirror. No walking around. No putting her on the floor. No looking out the window. No nothing.

Finally Tim threw a shirt on her, put her shoes on and asked me what else she should wear. He was going for a drive. I said I could come along too, so I put off pumping, kept my glasses on, hair unbrushed, threw on a sweat shirt and found my shoes and off we went with a brief stop at McDonald's for coffee and breakfast. I got a McGriddle and she ate about 5 bites of the pancake sandwich thing before refusing more. She was quiet for about 30 glorious minutes. Whenever I looked at her she was spaced out, looking despondently around her, leaking from mouth and nose -- but quiet. The next 30 minutes we weren't so lucky. She finally fell asleep about 5 minutes before we got home. It's amazing how she does that so often!

Tim put her down and thankfully she fell asleep. She has been out for about an hour and a half now. Time enough for me to pump milk that will eventually be poured down the drain, review the internet, write this post, warm up some coffee and bring up laundry from the basement.

I wish there was more we could do for her. She is so miserable. All she wants to do is just sit and cry, and occasionally wipe the tears and snot all over my shirt with her face. This is day two of this -- how long can this go on? Yesterday we saw that the left half of her bottom gums were swollen, and this morning we noticed to our horror that the right side of her bottoms gums are puffy now too. This on top of the other top tooth puffiness that was going on Friday.

Really, it's Tim's fault because he invoked Murphey's Law. "Wouldn't it be great if she got all her teeth at once so we could get it over with?"

We both agreed on our drive to no where that maybe it wasn't such a great idea after all.

So yesterday I was still pretty bummed about this whole eating thing. I eventually got myself out of it with the help of cake and rotisserie chicken therapy, and a playing Tim's new birthday present.

Morella points to the crib when she wants to go to sleep (but only if we are in her room). I realized yesterday that she has actually done that a few times but I just couldn't believe that a baby could tell me that she wanted to go bed. She took a good nap in the morning and ruined my plans to go over and visit Hilary and Cullen. It worked out because she has a runny nose with occasional rivers of green sludge coming out, plus she's kind of grumpy. After she got up from her nap she was super cranky and wanted to be held. I held her, danced, moved around and eventually put her in the moby so that it would be easier. The weather outside progressively got more overcast and grey. There were reports that snow would fall at some point, but with sunshine casting rays of light down on the leaf strewn backyard only 1 hour earlier made it seem impossible. I dress up Morella, put on some cool finnish boots on her feet and decided we would walk to KFC to use one of the coupons I had.

We got half way there and I realized she wasn't wearing any boots. I turned around and spied one across the street and went to pick it up. It's a good thing it wasn't that cold outside! I ended up retracing my steps all the way back to the house in search of the other bootie. Apparently she had kicked it off before we even left the house! The little boy across the street saw us and said "Why isn't that little baby wearing shoes or socks?" Why indeed.

I get back in the house. I put some socks on her feet and shoes, not five minutes have passed and we get ready to head out the door again -- except now it's pouring cats and frozen dogs. It was sleeting, cold, windy and wet. Wow, it was a good thing that she kicked off her boots otherwise we would have been caught in this on the way back and we were woefully underprepared. Walking briskly back home also ensured a bit of a workout.

Since it was raining, I hemmed and hawed for a moment before decided to just drive to KFC and get something so that lunch would be faster and easier for Morella. I was just pulling out of the driveway when a strange car pulled in behind me and gave me the hairy eyeball. Or at least it felt like it, the rain obscured who was in the car. After a minute or two of careful study the driver side opened to reveal Morella's Grandpa! Another way it worked out that Morella brought me back home before I had planned.

I left Morella with her Grandmother and Grandfather to feed her a lunch of a grilled cheese sandwich with extra butter and cheese, pears, and buttered carrots to go to the bank and then to Cub's for a lunch of Rotisserie chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, potato wedges, coleslaw and 1/2 a cake -- all for the same cost as KFC, and it was enough for us to have lunch (where Morella had 1/2 cup or more chicken) and dinner for all three of us again that night (plus cake for breakfast!).

After her grandparent left, and with my full tummy of delicious food I did a search on google for "baby stopped drinking milk" and up came a ton of links about the other women who have expereinced this same thing. I was really amazed to see that the common demoninator in many of these posts/questions/etc is that their baby was 11 months old when this happened.

What is it about 11 months? Tim said last night that it's a transitional age.

She's giving us a run for our money today. She went to bed last night at 7:00 but woke up crying 15 minutes later. We got her up, calmed her down, gave her some motrin and she went to sleep at 8:00 and was fine until 2:30 where she cried but was able to put herself back to sleep. Not the case for the 3:30 wake up though. She cried and cried and cried and we got her up and sat with her in the living room looking at her Goodnight Gorilla book over and over waiting for the tylenol to kick in. We put her back down at 4:00, she cried for about 7 minutes and went back to sleep until 6:20 this morning when the same thing happened.

She has been up since then, and the first hour was her crying. She got mad when you looked at her, talked to her -- tried to do anything for her! We finally turned on the evil TV ( a thing she never gets to see) in an effort to try and calm her down and kill time until we can give her Motrin again. She watched some Curious George and then looked her Goodnight Gorilla book again .... she's better. Not by much though, she's not very hungry, her nose is a faucet and she on a hair trigger.

I tried oragel, and hylands teething tablets this morning -- I can't say either of them are very effective.

Anyway. Here we are. Coffee in hand. The weekend has started. I was going to sleep in this morning too! So much for that. :P

I kind of wish that today was a shower day. I could use a shower to reset....wait maybe it is! Yeah it is...cool!

We got Tim's birthday present early -- Gears of War II. I guess we shouldn't be playing on casual because we are that awesome. More tomorrow.

Last night was a zoo. I felt so overwhelmed....I just can't get that girl to drink much of anything. Her modified goal is 12 ounces of breastmilk or formula. Today I got her to drink 2.5 ounces of it. The other six ounces came from juice. I tried adding strawberry instant breakfast (just one tablespoon), vanilla, chocolate syrup, plain, with formula, just formula, water, in a cup....and she wanted none of it. The majority of the drinking she does do is in the car and first thing when she wakes up in the morning before breakfast. Often though, she will drink a little and then see her dinner/breakfast/lunch and demand that.

So last night I felt devasted. Like I just didn't know how I was going to do this anymore. Of course, there is no choice but to "do" -- to go on and keep trying no matter how futile the fucking thing is. This morning I got up and felt better about it. The day went pretty well, Morella took a nap this morning after dropping Tim off at work. It was pouring rain and I wanted her to keep sleeping so I drove to McDonald's and got a burrito and large coffee. Then I went to the Woodman's parking lot and ate it while watching it rain. Then I got bored and called my Mom and had a nice chat with her until Morella woke up.

We went shopping for high calorie stuff. Things like pound cake, carnation instant breakfast, malt, shortbread cookies, peaches and pears in heavy syrup, apricots, prune juice and non dairy creamer for me. One thing I'll say about McDonald's is that I didn't feel the urge to slpurge once! It was nutz. I kept trying to convince myself that I wanted a donut, but I didn't. So I didn't get one.

After that we came home, ate a snack and then she took a nap -- a three and half hour nap! I was stunned! I did some laundry, washed the dishes, took a shower, got dressed, worked on her invitations, wrote some emails, did a little reading and over all expected her to get up any second. I finally had to call Ann and postpone our afternoon plans by a half an hour so that I could feed her when she woke up.

She had a big bowl of chicken noodle soup (about a cup and half of pasta and carrots), four big peach slices, little sticks of cheddar cheese and a few sips of milk. Yeah, she ate a lot but does it make up for the little bit that she drinks? I don't know. I keep pushing the fruit because it hydration of some sort....when is this going to end? I am just feeling so helpless and inadequate about this at the end of the day. I almost wish someone else would take her and get her to drink again. Because apparently I can't do it.

After lunch we went to Target to buy some more toliet paper, some 75% off Halloween stuff, novelty moose ears, laundry detergent and coffee. We didn't have time to go to Border and have coffee while looking at books and letting the babies crawl around. A shame really because the Starbucks coffee at Target was terrible! Finally at 5:00 I had to leave to pick up Tim from work. We got home, hurridly put a pizza in the oven and then Tim rushed around and got ready for his Thursday night gaming session.

30 minutes later he was gone, and I was back to facing off against Morella in her high chair. She ate a little and then got cranky. I gave her a bath. Tried to give her more milk, read a few books and then put her to bed. She went down without a sound. She was whooped!

Oh Hilary is here. Good, I need to stop playing Scramble.

I showed up to the doctors appointment, after calling this morning to double check the time only to find out that the appointment was tomorrow! Oops. :( The nurse could have mentioned that fact. Anyway, they manage to fit us in today. Today's weight was 16 pounds and 11 ounces. So she lost one ounce in the span of the week.

The good news is that 1 ounce isn't much and that babies can lose significantly more than in one week. She does have a reason for it -- teething. Still, I was pretty disheartened to hear it. On the other hand, she is bright eyed and busy tailed and yesterday and today have been much better days.

A few things -- no more watered down juice. She is too get full on juice for snack times. Her goal for drinking milk is 12 ounces a day (a goal she has not met since this whole strike began) but that it is okay for me to add a drop of chocolate syrup to the breastmilk if it gets her to drink more. I got a sheet that had some other suggestions like adding instant carnation breakfast mix to it that I might try. She can eat as much cheese as she wants, everything gets butter or cream cheese mixed into it, and well you know, try to get her to eat as much high calorie stuff as possible. Her lungs sounded beautiful and clear again so maybe I can try to let the fear that I am drowning my kid by giving her thin liquids can be laid to rest. At least for now. :P

I tell you, it's so overwhelming to me at times this whole weight thing. Was Tim a skinny baby? Apparently I am supposed to ask, but how can I expect Tim's Mom to remember that when she had like five more kids after him? I am sure that they would start to blend together. I could also ask Tim's sister...since Zeland is Morella's long lost twin.

She is sleeping now, and I bought a mocha on the way home to sooth my fears, help with the caffeine and energy level, especially since I was up late last night and tonight I am going to be babysitting two kids from 4.45 - 10ish. I need to clean up the office a little better so that they have a place to sleep when bedtime rolls around.

In other news, I wanted to highlight to the two care packages I got last week. One if from an exchange I took part in through word of mouth from Laima. The idea came from Stephanie over at Dispensing Happiness.



This came to me from Tina at Wildflours. A nice little collection of Halloween themed goodies. Not pictures is a package of freeze dried pears that mysteriously disappeared after Morella sampled them last week.

I feel a little sad that I forgot to include more handmade items in my package. I know I can and have done better. Well, maybe next time.

Then this package came from a friend of mine over in LJ land - Childlight.



You can see Migo examining the goodies. It was great fun to get those books and I can't wait until Morella is a little older and more patient to handle story books instead of picture books. Plus, she is very insistent on turning pages herself so thin pages are out for the moment.



The real hit of the package was the cat toy. Morella loves to play with it and play with Migo! For two peas and pod, it's a stroke of genius! Incidentally, I was thinking of finding a cat toy like this for Morella to play with Migo so it's great that it showed up on my door step! Thanks Talena -- that was super thoughtful and brought many smiles in the face of a crappy, worry filled week.

I hope my Chicago friends are in Grant park tonight ... I know if I was still in Chicago I would be there!

I was voter 2085 at 6.45 in our hood tonight. There was free sandwiches, cookies and water -- a first! Morella went with us, of course and I took a photo of her and I beside the poll sign. When we walked in one of the bake sale (it was held at a school) said "Her first election!" After we voted, I corrected him and said it was her second voting experience because we were there for the primary. Yes, Tim and I vote every single time we can --- it is a duty that I have already mentioned, I will not take for granted.

Oh ... here is Barak now giving his speech! I feel like I could cry. :D I am so proud that my daugther lives in an age where a minority can become President of the United States of America.

Hey you know what? I am actually in a position to do the "NaBloPoMo" thing -- which is of course the blogging version of National Write A Novel in a Month" challenge in which you write at 50K book.....or at least string 50K of words together. I tried that challenge twice and the furthest I have ever gotten was 33K words. I think somewhere along the way I thought about blogging every day for a month -- but that usually happens in December. So. DO I give up my blog every day in December for blogging every day for November? Or do I go for the gold and try to do everyday for two months? You know, up the ante? I guess I'll go for every day for November.

Yesterday Tim went canvassing and I was home along with the the cranky baby. I wanted to go out and do something -- but not shopping, something with walking, something different... in the end I went to Cottage Grove and walked on the Glacial Drumlin Trail with Morella. The path is made of tiny gravel pieces so it was a pleasnantly bumpy ride for her and I hoped that she would fall asleep. Instead, she stayed awake, snacked on a cheese stick and biter biscuit, and looked around, flopped around, talked...everything but slept. She was so tried as her eyes were red rimmed and half opened. She just seemed kind of out it. Regardless, I enjoyed my Fall day with her. It was so quiet and isolated (exception being the few walkers and bikers that passed -- all older women!). I reminded me of when I was a wee lass and often spend hours out in the woods or fields just sitting, laying on the grass and looking up at the sky.

She feel asleep finally 3 minutes before I got home. I carried her into the house, took off her shoes but left her light jacket on and put her to bed. She ended up sleeping for three and half hours! When she got up she was a total wreck -- still. We gave her some Motrin, a bath and then she felt a ton better and was able to nibble a little more before going to bed.

I went to bed at 9.45 myself and it was awesome! It's like reverse sleeping in. No it's not and "old" thing to do. It's a cool thing to do. Really. :P

Tim on Accordion



This photo and a bunch of other amazing ones taken by J. Samsa (whose starting to make my own photography skillz look bad!) are over here. Thanks Jason! I wish I had your talent.

Update: TWO teeth. The top left tooth and her left fang are cutting through. The top left one has cut through, and the left fang is almost through. Is this the bottom of our problems? Are there more? Hm. But at least we have some explanation. She had a really rough night.

I'm having another worry day. :( Morella has been kind of crabby all week, as you know. It could be teeth, it could the nursing strike, it could be the weather patterns, it could be the alignment of the stars, it could be .... well anything. Today it's becoming apparent that she might be getting a cold. She is running clear snot, sneezing a lot, won't take long naps - but at least she has had two. She just woke up from her afternoon nap after only sleeping for 30 minutes, and she woke crying and inconsolable. Tim took her to go and pick up vegetables while I pump.

It's seems like it's whenever I have to pump that she wakes up. It's probably not a coincidence in as much as I pump or used to pump several times a day. It's bound to coincide a few times.

I had given her some tylenol at 1:50 so I wonder if it's pain or generally not feeling well? I don't know. I just don't effin' know. Of course todays Worry du Jour is that she has pneumonia and it's all because I am giving her thin liquids. Nevermind that I tried my ass off to get her to drink a thick bottle of milk, a thick bottle of juice, sippy cups of thick crap, cups of thick crap, crap with a straw and she just wouldn't touch it. The only thing she does drink out of is a cup and that's it.

Logically thinking it's probably teeth. Tim said "I really hope she gets a bunch of them at the same time to explain all the headaches that she has been giving us." I kind of hope so too. Tim got a bunch of teeth all at once when he was about her age, so it would make sense. She still only has those three teeth and her one year is fast approaching. She has to catch up sooner or later, right? It could also be a cold. She has been out and about with other kids a lot the last couple of weeks and so it's entirely possible that she has caught a bug. I could keep her in a bubble but she and I both like social activities so that's not possible. There we have it -- teeth, or a cold. At times like this, I really wish she would drink breastmilk from a cup without a fight because then I could make myself feel better by thinking that she is getting precious antibodies and cold fighting immunity.

Not to mention it's really sucky to have to keep pumping and not have her drink hardly any of it.

I'm glad that she has a follow up appointment on Wednesday to check her weight to see if she has lost any on her new food/drink regime then I can have the doctor listen to her lungs again to make sure she is still doing okay. She isn't coughing which is one of the big signs of pnemonia so that is good. But then even if she does start coughing then it could still be just a cold, right?

I really want to blame my Mom right now for giving me this worry gene. It's all her fault. :P

----trying to stop thinking about it....----

Yesterday was Morella's first Halloween. It was a busy day. We got up, ate breakfast and then stopped at Woodmans to buy some fruit leather, a card and Halloween cookies for my friend's daugther's graduation ceremony. After that we headed home where she took a quick 45 minute nap (her only nap of the day) before eating lunch, and then playing outside and enjoying the fabulous 70 degree fall weather. Emily called then and asked if we wanted to walk to Walgreens with her to buy lights to entice kids to their house. It went a little longer than expected and I bought the worst diet root beer of my life. It's still sitting on the green table. I should toss it.

Then I fed Morella an early dinner, pumped and then got her dressed up in her frog costume and we went over to Ann and Noah's. Our plan was to walk to the Come Back Inn and meet up with Tim and her husband Peter for a beer. It was around 5 so the trick or treating had started and we got to see some fun costumes and houses that were way over the top. We picked up our friends Christian and Cecci along the way (Cecci is one of Morella's favorite adults) and headed onward. I did trick or treat twice along the way and got a peanut butter M&M and a Reese's Peanut butter cup. Once we got the Come Back Inn, Morella lasted about 15 minutes before turning on the whine machine. Tim had to go and get the car and by the time we left at 7:10 she was in full meltdown mode. She cried the whole way home and one block before our house fell asleep. We got her out of the car and into her jammies and less than 10 minutes later she was asleep for the night. After that we got only 5 trick or treaters (neighbor two doors down said they had a ton of trick or treaters..but they also live on the other side of the run down empty house with fun neighbors. I was disappointed Morella didn't go trick or treating to our neighbors, but I guess -- next year she'll enjoy it more.

She is so out of sorts. I feel terrible for her, and sort of feel like we need to just buckle down and get her (and me) through this day.