Blogger was down for self hosted custom blogs. Meaning, if you are using blogspot you probably didn't have a problem. I was seriously considering moving to wordpress but I don't know how I would move 9 years worth of archives. I am afraid all my technical know how isn't keeping up with the times. I know I could just jump in and figure it out -- that's how I did it before, but ... eh.

I just hope google/blogger is really really sorry. :P

It's 9:00 and Morella went to bed about 20 minutes ago. We took Tim over to Lowen's house (who lives in our neighborhood) to drop him off. He and bunch of other people plan on walking to several bars on Cottage Grove Road and ending at the Jade Monkey for a disco dance party. Then when Tim can't stand it anymore he can walk home! Everyone else is going to spend the night. I told Tim he could go and I get to go for the breakfast tomorrow morning. Or brunch. You know. All the bars are open all night tonight. Anyway. Morella went to her first New Year's party! Awww.

I am thinking of just going to bed to be honest. I was going to watch a movie, but I feel like I might have the ghost of a cough -- which is strange. I haven't had a true cough in ... man, like over a decade. Like a cough from a cold type of thing. I'm not really coughing it just feels like there might be one there. A little heavy in my chest.

Still working on New Year's resolutions. The way I see it, I still have all of January to decide. I usually figure out what they are right before my birthday. I don't remember if I did a resolution last year. If I did it was probably along the lines of "survive this year with Morella." Which I am glad to say, I did. :)

I have been a total hermit this week. I think I was overstressed from all of December in that when we got home from Christmas visiting I just sort of put on comfortable clothes, covered up in layers and holed in. I just don't feel like small talk, entertaining, making the effort to go out and do anything much less clean the house and work on projects. I decided that I would do...well, whatever I wanted to do and whatever had to be done only if it needed to be done. For example, cleaning off Morella's tray and feeding her breakfast, lunch and dinner, and thinking of food to eat. That said, I eventually did start rediscovering the crafty projects I was working on -- like my rag rug, finishing a cross-stitch ornament I started for Morella the day I was induced...okay that is two.

Things I know I would like to do are clean and organize the office and bedroom. You know, the kind of cleaning where you go through the boxes of stuff and put it away. Give it a home. Put all the markers in a little wooden drawer with a label on it. Put the stamps in the proper drawer. Organize the card collection -- birthday, get well, sympathy..etc. It's kind of a mess right now.

Oh I hear fireworks right now! Aww. I remember past New Year's...ahh this one is okay. I am home with my sweet baby girl, I won't have a hangover tomorrow morning, I will have had plenty of sleep and the new year will begin. 2008 was good to me. Sure it had it's rough spots with Morella - the whole eating fiasco, silent aspiration, endoscopy, barium swallow studies, thickened bottles, exclusively pumping for an entire year, vacation in LA, mastoiditis, norovirus and spreading it to everyone at her 1st birthday party, the Fall party (and recital), starting a play group, joining a Mom's club and getting out there to meet other new Mom's, summer barbecue party, Christmas with my family, joining the ymca, Morella's swimming lessons, new hair style, and getting a new couch and stove. Looking forward to seeing what 2009 brings! I think odd years are more lucky.

Happy New Year!

Thinking about how hard it would be to switch to wordpress.

Is blogger still broken? I can't believe that is going on three days now.

Blogger is having issues.

12/29 -- Still?

A few quickies from my phone. Morella is in the living room playing with some of her Christmas gifts -- a baby laptop right now while I am in the office stealing a few minutes to try and catch up. I am really happy to be home and even happier that Christmas is done with! I guess there was some holiday stress that built up. I am now proclaiming this next week to be "The Week of Putz."

Hm. I can't seem to get my pictures to load to my website -- I guess it might be my ftp server in general....as this isn't going to post either.

Checking a few hours later....

Three times a charm.....

It occurred to me that I hadn't written in awhile tonight while wondering where everyone else's good posts were tonight. Morella is on the floor next to Tim climbing all over him, playing music and dancing. She's hit her head several times today, once she was ran over by a 4 year old girl (that was a big boom!), the second time when she was using her walker, she slipped and fell back, and the third time she hit the coffee table. All in the span of like three hours. Poor kid. I wonder if she has a headache. I know I would.

I made dinner for lunch today and we had leftovers for dinner! Opposite day! I was in the bathroom looking at a magazine and saw a picture of a hearty chicken noodle casserole and that struck me as something good to make to offset Tim's gigantic batch of soup that he made on Sunday. Or was it Saturday. Hm.

Hilary baby sat Morella while I had to run a few unbaby friendly errands. It was her first time being babysat by someone who wasn't a relative *and* away from home. So she had four kids there! What a brave woman. Afterward, they opened their presents while I enjoyed a hot cup of tea and the warm glow of a real Christmas tree.

I am just so pleased that despite the hurdles and obstacles this month I have managed to do almost everything I have set out to do. The Samsa's xmas stuff. The St. Nicks' Advents (I made FOUR of them). Ornaments (half done...and I forgot to give Hilary her ornament nutz). Christmas shopping for everyone. The cookie plates this year is (and I wanted to do two more cookies batches -- chocolate and linzer but hey we can't do it all):

peppermint candy fudge
butterscotch milk chocolate fudge
saltine toffee
decorated sugar cookies
decorated gingerbread men
spritz
russian teacakes
peanut brittle

So I guess there is a little something for everyone.

Then to top it off while I was doing that I hosted play group (involved some major cleaning), play dates, Mom's night out, wickedly cold weather and being housebound...

I need a new book.

I watched Indiana Jones and Kingdom of the Crystal Skull the other day and it was okay. I didn't think it was way worse than the other stories at all. I also watched a documentary on a Man Named Pearl about a black man who has become a world famous topiary sculpturist all from plants that the local nursery throw out and because neighbors were afraid he wouldn't be able to keep up his yard in South Carolina. It was a cute movie.

I have the whole third season of Dexter that has been collecting this whole season and I can't wait to start watching it. That feels like a huge Christmas present right there!

I told Tim I wanted a down comforter for my birthday. I rarely ever want anything that ... extravagant but I have been itching for one for...years. You just can't beat the warmth and comfort. I wish I had it now to keep me toasty. Instead, I have been going to bed wearing fleece, and under four blankets -- two of which are comforters, and one a heavy, heavy green blanket I got as a gift back in college from my dear friend Storm.

(20 min later -- I put Morella to bed and changed into jammies)

Dang it's cold. I'm glad that tomorrow it's going to warm up. Though Tim said that the warmth comes with a price -- more snow. And unfortunately a lot of it on our travel day for Christmas. We might have to push everything back a day! I guess I'll call everyone and let them know that this might be the case. I guess it's a good thing that priceline.com rejected my offer this morning for a hotel. Starting tomorrow evening I have Tim for a whole 12 days!!!! Awesome.

I'm thinking of treating myself to going to bed early, despite my urge to watch Dexter. I don't want to watch it being tired and wishing for sleep. I would rather watch it all energized and excited.

Oh Morella was a sweetie today. Tim got her a baby doll for Christmas and it's still in the box and unwrapped, but she has been playing with it constantly. I never thought I would have girl who loved baby dolls.

Friday Photos: State Street Xmas





Ann, Noah, Morella and I went to the Children's Musuem yesterday -- wow. That place is awesome. It's the PERFECT place to take a kid like Morella in the winter there is so much to it! Sadly, it's also the first place she ate dirt. :P Ann was kind enough to include us on her extended family membership and so we can go for free! How cool is that?! I think we are going to go once a week this winter -- at least Morella and I are. It also means we have free membership to any children's musuem around the country.

After that we stopped at Michealengo's for a snack before hitting the Capitol to see the giant Christmas tree decked out in handmade ornaments from school children around the state. We ooh'd and ahhed and watched the train going round and round the bottom of it before going to Capitol Kids to use a gift certificate from our friend Oliver. We spent way too much time there, and I finally got Morella flash/drum thing. It's cool. SHe likes it...well as much as she likes anything these days.

----Hours later ----

This post is taking too long to write. Morella is handful.

"Run away! Run away from the ginger bread house Hansel! I got your back!"

Yesterday Morella and I went to our first Mom's play group. They meet on Tuesday's I guess. I hadn't had a chance to go to them because Morella was sick most of November and I didn't want to jinx anything last week so I keep her home and healthy. Olbrich has a free day (Tuesday) so we got to see the gingerbread houses and trains display, followed by a little walk through the conservatory. We stopped for an iced sugar cookie and cider. Ahh it was a nice little outing, though not that condusive for a playgroup since it was a mad house there. Anyway. We got out of the house.

She has been having trouble going to seleep at night. She keeps waking up and crying, and this morning she slept in until 8:00!!! She has never slept in that late. Wow. Not mention *I* slept in until 8...incredible.

(an hour and half later)

Morella took steps this morning! Well, she took steps with her walker. Tim and I were both there to see it. She walked herself into her bedroom. Hurray! Maybe she is on the path to walking.

I did ten more cards last night....almost done. In the home run. I am to the harder ones that might require packages. Though I realize I am down to the gun as it is. Sheesh. I need to do some baking today. I think we are going to meet up with Noah/Ann sometime today to do something befoe the Great Snowstorm Happens.

But really, I wonder what's up with Morella. Is she getting a cold or teething? She didn't eat much this morning. Her nighttime waking and sleeping in. Man, you think we would get better at this the longer we have her around. But no...not so.

It was so cold that my car windows were frozen shut! It's a good thing that I didn't accidentally fall off a bridge into a river.

I am eating some roasted vegetables leftover from last night. Morella is taking a three hour nap! She hasn't been sleeping longer than an hour or an hour and half the past week. Everytime she does that I think "Little Ruthie is probably taking a three hour nap..." Ha ha. Why do we do this to ourselves?

She also didn't go to bed until 9 last night. She is urping a lot more. I have been trying to rack my brains to remember how much the pharmacist said Morella had to weight before she could get her prevacid adjusted. Was it 18 pounds or 20? I don't remember! If was 18 I can totally see the difference.

Morella has a double chin again, her legs don't look like baby legs anymore -- they are taking on the look of toddler legs. Weird!

Tim just texted me that he expect five inches of snow by tomorrow night.

My play group this morning went well. I made some lousy coffee cake. I think my problem is that the baking mix I have been using is from my Dad's commodities. I think it's really old and that nothing is active anymore. I should just throw that one out or at least open the other one and give that one a chance. Yeah. I'll do that before making my own. Having play group was great because I really needed to spend a little time cleaning up the house. It was the perfect motivation and I did it this morning from 8-10. I wasn't fanatical about it and just focused on making the visible spots appear clean, like wiping down the counters, sweeping the floors and vacuuming and picking up coats, and clearing away the paper bits that collect on flat surfaces.

It's really cold out today! We need more milk and I really do not want to bundle up MOrella to go to Woodman's to get some. It's like a five minute drive ... tops. The car will never warm up and it will be just as icy cold on the way home. Besides she isn't drinking much of any thing right now, or eating. Maybe she is on the downtrend of all that horse eating she did before.

Last night before the bitter cold front moved in, we all went outside in the pouring rain with umbrellas and Morella in her covered stroller to look at Christmas lights in the hood. I think last night she perfected her "Wow!" Today at play group, she showed off her 'other word' which is "DOP DAT!" complete with finger wagging at the cats, Pluto, Tim's accordion playing and my vacuuming. I also think she tries to say "gentle" in reference to petting Pluto. "dental" is guess how it sounds. Or maybe she thinks Pluto's name is 'dental'. Hm. Deep thoughts, my friends, deep thoughts.

Tonight is Mom's night out rescheduled. I have to bring a wrapped ornament. I made a pretty cool decorated pinecone....I should affix something to it to make it hang and wrap that...yeah!

I can't believe she is sleeping this long. I almost forget what to do with myself. It's been so long since I have such a long break. I should see if she is still alive...yep...whew. I must have been all that late night activity.

Saturday I went to a baby shower with some awesome cupcakes for Stephanie, followed by a birthday party for Noah. It was a long day and I was happy to get home and just put on some deliciously warm fleece and cuddle up on the couch with the warm laptop.

Friday Photos: Winter

Morella went out for her first sled ride ever! It snowed quite a bit the night before, so I knew that everywhere we went there would be snow on the sidewalks. I bundled her up in her Finnish snowsuit. The outer casing is still a little big, so we mostly just have her wear the inner suit. I laughed and laughed at this though because she looked like a little blue starfish.

She really enjoyed the ride! We were out for about 20 minutes.

Morella is currently going through a berry phase. She won't eat anything but blueberries, raspberries (her fave) and strawberries. I try to sneak in something else every day but after one or two bites it's left to rot on the tray. Especially bananas --- which kind of sucks because it's much cheaper than berries.

Is there something on my nose?

Morella getting into the file drawer (I moved the accordion in the way) and pulling at the USB hub, and pushing buttons on the computer (disc tray). My little gremlin.

Thanks for the idea Sarah's Mom! It bought me a whole hour, because after that she moved onto the cupboards. I was able to finally catch up on the dishes, clean the sink and wash the counter. It was amazing...I wonder how often I can do this? It also served a double purpose because she has a diaper rash right now, and I gave her a couple hours of naked time, followed by a baking soda bath. So she was all ready to go and get warmed up.

Lastly, I met up with Ann and Noah today and after playing at Noah's house (where Morella had a bit of stranger anxiety with Noah's Dad) we headed to Lazy Jane's and had lunch. They were little dreamboats until they were tired and then....gah. I snapped this photo of Ann and Noah on my cell phone -- which took a ridiculous amount of time and I missed a bunch of way cuter shots. :P Poor Noah took a nose dive and had a bloody lip! I don't know what I would do if that happened to Morella, probably the same thing Ann did, which was clean it up and then worry about it.

She fell asleep on the way home and I was able to transfer her to the crib and then take a good nap myself on the couch, in the sun with Little House on the Prairie playing softly on the TV. I started playing the TV during her naps to create some back ground noise in the house because it's too quiet, and I don't want her be dependent on absolute silence for sleep.

Follow up ENT appointment went well. Morella had a state of the art hearing test and passed with flying colors! Then the ENT took a look at her, showed me the cat scan of her mastoiditis and explain what had happened (along with the video) and pronounced her great. He said that just because she had this happen does not mean she is prone to ear infections, that this was a really rare case, and the likelihood of it happening again is equally rare. He also asked how the swallow study went and then at the end pronounced her to be a healthy little girl.

Finally. Morella is normal, happy healthy baby girl. What more could you ask for Christmas?

At the hospital they were giving away big stuffed winter bears (wearing a fleece hat, scarf and mittens), as well as a "prescription" for a healthy snack at the cafe downstairs. She could have a piece of fruit or a yogurt, but they were out of yogurt and the woman offered ice cream. I gave her some of that with fresh raspberries that I had brought along and she ate 1/2 the container! Awesome.

This morning I visited Hilary and Morella played with Cullen. Then we took a nap a lunch -- her naps have only been 1.5 hours...is that it? This is two days in a row that I have been keeping track. Does this mean I won't be getting those long 2-3 hour naps that some other babies get? :( How am I supposed to get anything done?

Tim's game was canceled tonight so he is playing with her. I guess it isn't bath night though because she never made it to the tub. I guess she really will have stinky toes tomorrow.

Phone Photos: A Special Edition

Tim and I got new phones yesterdays as our big joint Christmas present. We now have unlimited texting, which means that not only can we take photos but we can actually get them OFF our phones. We weren't able to do that before...and last night while playing with our new phones we were able to get all the pictures we had on our old phones. Following is all of them...well all of mine and some of Tim's. I did actually have more a month ago, but I deleted several because I was running out of room and it wasn't like I thought I would ever get to see them in a place other than my phone.

I am so pleased to have gotten these! And now, our new phones have better cameras and I will be able to take pictures and even send to my blog via my phone! How freaking awesome is that?!?

Anyway. Enjoy!

We are having a snowed in day. Morella is still in her duckie jammies crawling and cruising around, and I am sort of just following her around putzing. I took a shower this morning while Tim helped Morella with breakfast and am wearing loungy clothes with my flannel robe over it all. Attractive, I can assure you. :D

We got our first Christmas card today! Thanks Oliver! You win! It's hanging above the green table now. Hm You know I have always wanted to do that on a string thing....maybe I should do, but maybe after we get a few more cards, which always seems to happen after we send ours out. It's a good thing I started ours last night and sent out our first batch today. I think I started with the end of the label list and the misfits (aka addresses I needed).

I should make some tea. Something that won't give me an upset stomach -- a really bland herbal...hm. We are listening to Christmas music

Tim rode bike to work in this snowy mess this morning. He is officially nuts.

Morella's followup ENT appointment is rescheduled for Thursday afternoon at 3.30. They are going to do a hearing test too -- thank goodness. Not that I think she has a problem but you never now. It's not like she can tell me. Though I really wish she could tell me what's up with birdlike eating for two days in a row now. I was getting used to the Morella with a huge appetite. Though maybe I can live without the 5-7 poops a day.

My cookie making has hit a roadblock. I gotta turn that boat around. I wish there was a way to keep Morella entertained in the kitchen...

Playgroup was canceled this morning because of a last minute doctor's appointment. Then I canceled Morella's follow up ENT appointment for tomorrow because of the winter storm that happening, and then MOM's night out was canceled because of the weather. So....yeah.

I made fish, baked potato and steamed veggies for dinner. Morella's appetite was lacking today, though she still managed at least 6 poops. She also developed this .... itchy rash on the trunk of her body. We gave her a baking soda bath and then put some anti-itch cream on it afterward. That seemed to help as she ripped and tore through the house. I put her down at 7:40 and she didn't go to sleep until 8:15! I wonder what keeps her up later some nights and other nights she is ready for bed at 7:00. I hope she isn't getting too sick -- maybe this is the delayed reaction for the chicken pox vaccine she got last Friday. Though I thought that was supposed to be 7-10 days later...not four days...

Tim is outside shoveling. It's a little known secret that he LOVES shovelling. He puts on his earphones and MP3 player and goes out into the still night to shovel snow. Tomorrow he is going to be in heaven.

I started Christmas cards tonight. I watched another Hallmark Christmas movie - Ebbie. Another take on the Christmas Carol but hey...I'm a sucker for Xmas movies. Last night I watched the Christmas Card...ahh what a nice love story.

Pluto has also taken a liking to Morella's big fluffy kitty. It's been found in his crate twice now. What a stinker! Maybe we should buy him a new toy for Christmas -- though I am sure that he would only want more walks or something. Tim took him to Mounds tonight to get more dog food and then to Walgreens to buy some waldryl and hydrocortisone. I complained about not having any benedryl last week when I was actively weaning. But you know, it's been a couple days now without pain or anything. I think I am past the worst of it -- who knows maybe all dried up now. Wow, what a weird thing to think. I'll tell you, it was pretty easy to adjust to a life without pumping.

Morella did drink a lot of milk today.That's good -- at least she is getting a lot of vitamin D, protein and calories. She's really starting to look a little more filled out! Oh my, how I love that little girl. I think she is finally start to imitate words. She's been pretty good about catching on social noises like "Ohhhh" and "Ahhhhh" and "Whoa!" and "Wow!" and uses them appropriately but words have been sorely lacking. Today I think she tried to say "towel" "gentle" and "stop that!"

Of course whenever I try to get her to say Mommy or Mama she replies with a very stern "Da!"

Speaking of which -- I showed her a picture of Tim today and she said "Da!" So...my dear friends, I think I can finally say "da" with meaning to Tim. Awesome!

Oh oh and she is also cruising! She is actively walking around the couch and coffee table, or standing next to the wall or door, or entertainment center and lightly holding on for support. We have even seen her start to let go and stand by herself for a few seconds. She had started to do that before she got sick in November. She also loves to have you take her for a walk, and I have noticed that she doesn't need as much support as she used too. Even so, the average age for walking is 15 months...I think she'll probably hit that pretty close.

To answer the tree question -- she doesn't really bother it. I have some ornaments that are unbreakable and baby friendly near the bottom that she can pull off, but really she doesn't. I guess it's just another piece of furniture to her. I wonder if she'll think the same thing next year.

Oh Tim is done shoveling ... it's time for bed. I think I am going to work on xmas cookies again since we are housebound -- well that and more xmas cards. :)

Friday Photo (on Saturday!)

I needed a new profile picture for facebook, so I self snapped one this morning. Maybe I should have brushed my hair. :P

Morella Bella playing with her new kitty. Her Grandmother (my Mom) sent her this huge, fluffy cat and she LOVES it! She takes it everywhere around the house, rolls around with it, and head nuzzles it. It's so stinking cute. Notice the Santa stuffed doll -- if you go "HO HO HO" she'll respond with "oh oh oh" (in a deep voice)

Look at that cubby face! I think half of her over a pound gain must have gone straight to her cheeks!

17 pounds and 10 ounces!!!

Morella gained over a pound in the span of one week! Incredible. She's totally filled out more too, it was really noticeable on Thursday when I met up with Ann and Noah. We went to the Mall because we couldn't think of anything else to do. IT wasn't that bad actually...we spent two hours there! It's like a casino. Time passes and you aren't aware of it. I bought Morella one of those pop up things -- turn a lever and a hippo pops up for xmas. We each have a budget of $50 for her for a total of $100. Is that high? Probably, but we didn't get her anything last year .... so it's like our first Christmas for her. :D I think I am also going to get her a baby doll because she likes them so much.

It's is so great to have a healthy baby girl! It really makes all the difference in the world how they day goes. She did have her shots though and the doctor assured me that it wouldn't cause fevers. However I think she was still in some pain because she has such chicken legs, and it was four shots. I gave her tylenol and put her to bed early (she didn't nap well during the day). Then I headed out to play the role of St. Nick! I went to Amy's (who has two boys), Hilary's and my friend Laima's to drop off St. Nick Advent's (a little surprise starting today until xmas on a string), and our Christmas cards with our first ever Christmas photo. It's so cheesy, I love it. It was a good project all week because Morella spent hours taking things in and out of the box and throwing them around.

Oh and I worked on spritz cookies yesterday and she ate FOUR of them! I think she liked them because they weren't *that* sweet. In any case, the rest are in the freezer. I think this weekend I am going to work on sugar cookies.

Tim has meet and greet with Pluto at Petsmart East this morning. Pluto's first meet and greet in months since he's now recovered enough to do such things. After that, I have a little craft party to attend which I have been looking forward to. I don't know any of the women well, but food and a chance to just sit around working on a craft project....ahh I think it might be a little slice of heaven.

Then Monday I plan on attending the MOM's night out, which is sort of a Christmas party for us SAHM's at Paisan's. Wow, I am putting myself in positions to meet lots of different people -- I'm practically outgoing right now!

Morella is taking a morning nap. Hm, she was raring around only a little while before. Then she ate a graham cracker, drank some juice and got the droppy eyelids. She didn't protest much when I put her down too. I wonder if that means I'll get an afternoon nap. If she can make it to 11, she'll sleep until 1.30 which is awesome!

Yesterday I made gingerbread cookies. Today I am working on Spritz cookies with the sprizter that I got from the very awesome Laima. I just have to find them....oh and finish my other project. Geez, I have a lot to do this morning, why am I screwing around on the internet? Naps only last so long!

Well...she did a total of four swallows. It was rather inconclusive because they need at least 10. However, on those four swallows she was fine. IN the end the doctor said that we should just do as we are doing and keep watching for trouble signs of aspiration like change in voice, gurgling throat, etc. I suppose in one way it helped that we had her to the doctor so many times this past month because they always listened to her lungs and declared them clear.

In any case. It's done. That chapter is now closed (hopefully) in Morella's life, and ours.

And in other news, weaning hurts! Despite my right breast only producing 1.5-2 ounces a day it is the one throwing the biggest conniption. It just tender today, but thankfully not rock hard or engorged. Yesterday there were some rock spots that I massaged away and put cabbage in the bra...and yeah. The last thing I need is mastitis.

Sigh. In other news, I feel like I have a million things to do with no help. I'm feeling a little selfish right now and am a little sick and tired of playing the role of supporter. Meh, maybe that is just today. Morella is extremely good at undoing almost everything I do. Plus, it's hard with her separation anxiety and hurty breasts to carry her around all day. You know I don't get much done either. I would put her in the moby except that she doesn't ALWAYS want to be held. She wants it at her whim. Also, I think the moby would be most effective if she were being back carried instead of in the front.

Snowy days make me feel meh. At least she is healthy! I have a practically healthy baby right now! Like...normal! That's great news. :D

We are about to embark on Morella's follow up Barium swallow study. I can't find the referrals, I am super nervous --- *breathes* The test is at 10:00 -- wish us luck!

My supply had dropped to five ounces. Therefore, I decided tonight...er as today, I am not going pump. Morella is drinking whole milk just fine -- and I do still have frozen stuff I am inclined -- but honestly I don't feel like it right now. It would just make me paranoid that I thawed it wrong or I would agonize of whatever I ate then, or drank or ... blah blah blah. Of course, it is still there if I change my mind...that is until it expires. But most of it is going to expire soon.

I feel a little ... sad about it. I mean. It's done. A year has come and gone. The constant stress and worry about when I am going to find time, how much I pumped, what I was eating (was it making her reflux worse?) isn't something I am going to miss. I am going to miss that it was the last link I had to being pregnant with Morella. Maybe it's something I'll appreciate as the week goes on and the sink is freed up from bottles, and the pump is out of the living room.

Anyway.

I guess it sort of helped that Morella herself decided to stop bottles. I really missed that because it was so sudden....it was one of the only times we ever got to be close and cuddle. However, the last two weeks she has super anxiety about everything and so I have gotten my fill of cuddles...and I love them! I just look forward to when she is over this little developmental hump so that I can leave the room without her howling to the stars.

What did I do with my extra 1/2 hour tonight? I napped with my contacts in and now my eyes are all gummy. My hand desperately needs lotion -- it's so dry it's red! Where is this dry skin coming from?! Tim went to bed. I should go to bed. I was going to start Xmas cookies tonight, but instead ...

Maybe tomorrow I enjoy freedom from the pump and bottles a little more. Maybe throw myself a little party and pat on the back for making it one whole year breastfeeding my daughter the hard way.

Big Photo Post: November

It's a little all over the place, but I just downloaded all of my pictures from the past two weeks and picked my favorites. I had a lot of blurry ones because much of them were taken with me on the couch -- which would also explain why there are some blurry ones here, but I still like them. In a way, I still feel like we are all recovering from the trials and tribulations of November.

Morella in a car -- not thrilled at all. She was at her cousin's birthday party.

She did however enjoy her cousin's birthday cake! It was practice for the following week.

Here is her own birthday cake! I added the safari animals and candles later. I thought it kind of looked like a tripped out savannah.

One of Morella's little party guests - Ruth wearing the hat for all of six seconds and her Mom.

Morella had exactly ONE bite of her birthday cake, which was more than I had of her cake on her birthday. Little did we realize that we were exposing everyone to the highly contagious norovirus.

Morella taking a moment from crying to look at some birthday cards.