I don't have time right now to put all the photos up, but here is a sneak peek of the newlyweds: Carrie and Ryan.

Tim has to work late tonight unexpectedly. So here I am at home kind of wondering what to do with myself. I guess, I am doing the same things I would have done if Tim had been home....no that isn't true. My plan for the afternoon was to go to my last TKD for a month, bake squash, walk the dog and watch Hero's, and maybe carve a pumpkin. What I did though -- was came home chatted briefly with Hilary and then took a nap -- only to be woken up by the phone ringing. I was dreaming something was ringing ... it was Tim telling me that the install he did last weekend went wrong and he had to stay and try to fix it. Poor darling. I know that sick gut feeling when you've made a big error.

So, I overslept TKD, Tim wasn't coming home, we werne't gonna pick up vegetables from Laima and so I decided to carve the pumpkins myself, bake the rest of the cookies and eat three, and roast pumpkin seeds. I also made myself an egg sandwich and watched Deal or No Deal (a show I hate to admit I like) and chat with Jen. We have had an amazingly similiar day.

I decided not to take Pluto for a walk even though it's gorgeous outside because it is the day before Halloween and I didn't want to mess with hooligans by myself. I was also holding out hope that Tim would be back soon to walk with him. But it looks like that isn't gonna happen.

This weekend was really good. On Friday we loaded the car and I drove to Menomonie! Yeah, I drove. I found out -- I like driving long distances because it's the perfect busy work for being in the car. Listening to music and driving -- I can't read in a car or do any kind of hobby work because I get motion sick. Usually I just sit there and try to think of things to talk about. This time I got to listen to music and just enjoy the ride. Tim really enjoyed reading, and napping.

The visit with my Mom, Frank, Josh and Shane was good. We had some taco dip, diet coke and chatted about hobbies. Mom showed me what she was working on, Frank showed us the lean-to he built, Josh talked about video games and Shane even came out to visit. It was nice. Mom got a new hair cut and it looked awesome.

Then we headed out to visit my friend Jessie. We had a delicious chicken casserole and chicken nuggets, salad, bread, wine and cake and had a good old fashioned visit. I saw puppies and was amazed how much smaller her house was. Seriously, the last time I was there was when I was a kid. I finally got to experience how much smaller a place can be to a grownup. Since I had never went to back to any place I lived in my childhood (except my Dad's -- but he got a huge addition put on), I had kinda of thought that whole "it seemed so much bigger" was a myth. Not so! Oh my, the star sky that Jessie has is something to jealous over. Stupid light pollution.

Saturday morning we checked out the free breakfast at the Super 8 and decided it sucked. So we walked over to Perkins and had a wonderful breakfast before driving to Minneapolis to check into our hotel and then go off to visit Karen and Dave and their new baby Sam. She was adorable! We had pie, coffee and caught up.

[Pumpkin seeds are out of the oven and delicious!]

After the visit we headed back to the hotel so I could change and get ready for Carrie's costume themed wedding. She got married in her backyard with a wonderful carved pumpkin display, and most guests in costume. She looked radiant as a 1920's bride, and then we went inside for vegan food and more catching up. I hadn't seen some of these people since High School! I also found out that apparently there WAS a 10 year reunion -- I just wasn't invited. :( I took lots of pictures, so I'll let that do the story telling when I upload them. I can imagine that Carrie would probably like to see them so I'll make an effort to do that tomorrow.

After the wedding we went back to the hotel to change again, and then met up with Adele at a place called CC...I think? Yeah, CC. We drank, visited, Molly came and we visited with her. It was a good visit. Adele said she'll be around this neck of the woods in December -- I hope she finds time to stop by and hang out.

I was glad of the time change because it meant we weren't rushed to leave the hotel the next day. We paid for the breakfast, ate to our heart's delight and then Tim drove us out of Minnesota before I took the wheel to drive us to Tomah. We stopped because we needed gas, and then Tim was mean and was making me drive manual (still new folks!) in a busy traveling center...I got mad, he took the wheel and we proceeded to get into a wonderful conversation about the meaning of life that was interupted by Bekah (Tim's sister) calling to chat. We got home, Tim resumed the chat and also talked to Mark, and his Mom! It was a weekend to catch up with family I guess.

Sunday afternoon we raked the back yard until it got dark, Tim went to get Pluto, I wasn't feeling too hot and napped. Then later we ordered pizza and played Marvel before going to bed.

Today we went to work, I came home -- Tim so far has not, and I think that brings us up to now.

Last night I got gussied up and headed out to the High Noon Saloon with my Cow Girl friend Laima. We had a great time hanging out, watching the Gothsicles and Endif -- and visiting.


Anyway -- I've added a new album in Halloween Photos in August-October, that you can check out.

But these are my favorites:

My Little Pony

To cheer up my sweetie, empty the photos in my camera and to test out the USB cable. Check it out: August-October. (I'll update again after this weekend). Here's a sneak peek for you though.

Disclaimer – My friends you are all great – please don’t take offense, it really has nothing to do with you.


However, I am feeling like I would like to meet someone who was more like me. Someone who is wearing the same kind of shoes I am (maybe a different size so we don’t have to compete). If this person did exist, s/he would be busy feeling the same way. The problem is we both have a great network of interesting, smart, clever, caring friends and family – and yet everyone once in awhile….maybe this is just an element of being human? Yet, once in awhile, I feel like a teenager, in that no one “gets me.” It’s baloney of course, because Tim gets me – but sometimes I don’t always get him. Or at least don’t feel like I do. Besides, that isn’t what I mean. I mean, he’s my husband and if I was on that deserted island I wouldn’t dream of having anyone else there but him – but he isn’t me right now, and I want to meet someone like me who I can talk to.

I can’t even explain myself here. Sorry – maybe I’ll look back on this in 50 years and still feel the same. The antidote to this, it seems to me, is to become a recluse or to not be around the same people I already am and be with other friends who I don’t see all the time to get that variety back. After all, all of your friends are not like the other – and each have that vein of gold that fulfills some need/desire/interest in you. Be it, an interest in science fiction, philosophy, personality, music tastes, ideas, etc.

I am looking forward to this weekend to being with people I haven’t been with in a long time…some of them years. Well, okay the wedding of Carrie A … the last time I saw here was about 4 years ago. There are going to be some high school friends there – people that were friends with me when I had just moved to Menomonie. That’s a strange period in my life. It was right after my Mom went crazy, got out of rehab and then reestablished herself in a new town. Of course I had to go along and reestablish myself too considering I was only 16 and had no where else to go. I hated my Dad at the time and would never have dreamed of living with him. For the first two months I didn’t talk to anyone – and I relished dressing however the hell I wanted too. That was when I really started to get to know myself and figure out the person I wanted to be.

That two months was the end of 10th grade – by 11th grade I had more friends than I knew what to do with. It was thrilling and amazing to me that people wanted to talk to me, thought I was interesting, funny, clever….anyway. I am digressing ….

Hm perhaps what I am trying to put together here is that I need to get out of Dodge and rediscover that the person I want to meet who is just like me --- is me.

It has been raining all day today. The leaves really came down with this rain -- this is the fall kind of weather people love. Right? Well, I did manage to leave the house today to pick up our vegetables and to do a little shopping at Ben Franklin to get Beaded Xmas trees supplies, then I found a store right next to it call Craft Market. It's this store that rents out spaces inside (like a craft show)! It's so cool...while I was browsing I was told that they had food in the back in celebration of their one year anniversary (I had no idea). So I went and grabbed Tim who was in the coffee house next door and brought him back to enjoy anniversary cake, hotdogs and a free pumpkin! How cool is that? I also bought a bar of soap and took information on how Laima/Hilary and I can open our own Tceku booth -- in case they are interested....

Tim is working now and has been for the last hour. I made a pot of tea, and have been putzing around cleaning up. I am about to start cooking -- because it feels like the kind of day that should have a house full of warm cooking smells and incense. I am going to make some cranberry corn biscuits and a "root vegetable casserole." I was going to make Carla's cranberry scones -- but the DH deemed my oranges to far south and sentenced them to the mulch pit. I think later on, when the stuff if cooking, I will vacuum and then start working on my craft project again.

I did get that USB cable -- and have yet to try it out. I was thinking of trying to upload photos tomorrow when Tim is at work again (these times are rare). Yeah I think I'll do that.

As for today -- I had emailed a few people who are in town to see if they wanted to sit around and craft/watch TV movies today but everyone is busy with weddings. That is my fate next weekend....and I am glad, because today is a much better day to sit inside and be cozy. If was wasn't limited to in town folks, off the top of my head people I would want to craft with are: Jessie, Sarah, Lori, Zoey, Carla, Eric, Kate, Myrna, Hilary, Laima, (pre-fueding Kersten) and Jen. What a great group that would be!!

Other than today -- I have been busy. Last night we met Oliver for a drink/dinner and ended up going to about 5 different resturants before we settled on State St. Grill at the top of State. It was okay...the food was ... there and so was the beer -- but more importantly it wasn't packed and we got service right away. Then I went home and watched Battlestar Gallactica. My stupid VCR was suppposed to tape it -- but for the second time in a row now it doesn't seem to be working right. Last night it only taped 10 minutes! If I didn't have a strange feeling about things...I would have double checked and I would missed Battlestar --- WHICH by the way I thought started at 8:00....and last night it was on at 9:00 -- did they change their format again? What the heck is going on?

Oh but was that episode ever good .... I think it was without a doubt -- hands down, the best effing episode of Battlestar EVER! Just thinking about it is making me a little awed. I wish I could be a part of such creative energy -- I really envy those that are fortunate enough to be writers/producers and ... to just get something like that into existence. I felt the same way about Lord of the Rings trilogy, and sometimes about the brillance of George RR Martin's Game of Thrones series.

Hm, i think Tim is back...is that possible? He was supposed to be gone longer. He just got a game called Battlefield 2142 and has been hogging the computer since then. Staying up late like he was a teenager. Sheesh.

Our current movies are: The Hills Have Eyes, Breakfast on Pluto and Deadwood. Of course I love TV movies -- and since it's Saturday I am sure there HAS to be something on that I haven't seen. I know that Scooby Doo 2 is on ABCfamily tonight...heh. If someone doesn't watch these crappy movies then who will? I can't believe I have somehow turned into such a film buff. I remember once I had a roommate - Bert -- who I thought at the time watched WAY too much TV. His goal was to watch all the movies at 4 Star Video heaven...and I swear, he probably got pretty close to do accomplishing that goal before he moved back. I thought he was crazy then....now look.

Nope no Tim...it must be the drug neighbors making some sales and keeping bread on the table. Well, I suppose I should stop rapping at ya, and go make some food. I am not hungry, but like I said earlier...the thought of warm cooking smells in the house smell .... irrestible.

I don't feel like I have much to say other than I am not hungry. I was really hungry earlier, then I had a bowl of coco puffs and now...after TKD and while has passed...nothing. I said tonight was going to be "breakfast for dinner." But instead I am tired and want to just go to bed. Last night I went to bed at 9:00 because I had a headache. It's just that time of the month and if you are female then you know how much that just sucks.

Yeah, you heard me, it sucks. It's not magical, wonderful, empowering or any of that crap. If you try to convince me otherwise you are deluded yourself.

Today I paid bills, wrote some letters/cards, made two phone calls, went to TKD, and watched a movie kindof, shopped for and ordered beads, tried on my new blond wig, showered and took a nap. I wish I had the gump to do a whole lot more like clean an organize the guest room, work on beaded Christmas trees for the craft work, creatively write for the 28th writing assignment, respond to oodles of emails that no one sent me, watch a movie, sew some fabulous clothes, make a gourmet dinner and have the appetite to eat it, repaint my nails, do my hair in a fabulous style, meet with someone famous and talk about housework, finish playing Kingdom Hearts, and play a game of scrabble AND cribbage.

Pictures might be awhile in coming...I just realized today that when Andrew was here we took the USB cable out of it's normal location to test his PSP (i.e. see if his problem was a cable problem or not...it was). SOOOOOooooo....

1. Look again, very carefully for a third time to see if the cable is around the computer.

-- Not find it and buy another.

2. I think Andrew has it. I remember giving him something the day he left because I thought it was HIS that was in the computer...not ours. But in reality, I don't think he ever actually unpacked his new USB cord before he left. Nutz.

And to think, I was all ready to upload them today too.

Thanks to Sarah for this image, taken this weekend at Kettle Moraine North. Can you believe Tim *hates* these sunglasses?

What a cold morning huh? Yesterday the DH and I stayed home and cleaned the house, made squash and houlski for dinner, sandwich and soup for lunch, and candy for dessert/snack. I got a lot done around the house, and was really nice to putter.

I even took time to be creative and worked on making some stationary, updated my address book, and thought about working some more on Pluto's costume but really did more stationary while watching a movie: In Her Shoes .... I haven't finished watching it, but I liked most of what I saw. When did I become such a lover of dramas? Man. Then I went over to help Hilary clean her brand new, slighty used house -- but new to her, house! The layout is great, and the wallspace is wonderful for all the artwork that I know she'll put up. Plus the basement is going to be a perfect studio for cranking out MORE artwork and she'll be able to leave all her supplies out and not have to worry about moving things now that she has all that space. Yes, she has been reserved on being excited about the new house so I am taking it upon myself to be excited for her.

WOO! COngratulations Hilary. I can't wait to get my license so I can go over to visit you more often. I need someone to spend time with me learning manual though. Laima is a great teacher...you got some more hours?

I got my first ever compliment on my nails today. I mean, sure I have gotten compliments on the nail color but never the actual nails...it went like this:

"Nice nails," said a professional, well put together woman.
"Uh," I pause and look at them, thinking she must mean the color.
"Are they fake?" she asks.
"It's taupe," I answer belatedly to a question she didn't ask. Then I realize she just thought my nails were fake!! "No, they are mine."
"They are nice," she says "I wish I could get mine to look like that."
"Oh," I respond "When I want them to get long I put nail polish on them."

HA! That's never happened before.

OH! And thanks to Jessie for sending the wonderful "pick me up" package. It was a very nice surprise to return home too. Inside was:

Two dark green hats
a bag (a new knitting needle bag)
four figurines
chocolate
tea
a mug
long, skinny decorative scarf
candle
and body wash.

Cool! Thanks Jessie -- you rule! I am wearing the scarf now, and about to sample the candy.

Pluto is still in the dumps upon returning home. Poor dog. :(

This weekend was fantastic! The weather was amazing first and foremost. Secondmost, the moon was a god send. We didn't need to use any flashlights in the construction of our tent when we arrived at 9.30 Friday night. We totally over packed the car -- in classic car camping style. I was surprised at the sheer abandon that Tim was had when deciding what should go a long with us. I suppose, it's easy to do when you don't have to worry about fitting a big, whiny dog in the back seat.

Speaking of which, we haven't heard anything from/about Schoonkpea -- so I am going to assume "No news is good news." And Pluto did well for his sleep over, although I noticed this morning he wasn't in his kennel when we woke up. He was instead sprawled out on the futon. It's rare that he decides not to sleep with us, and he didn't eat his breakfast, so we think he has a bit of the blues. Or maybe just a good old fashioned case of "the Mondays."

So, I brought my camera but I didn't take any photos of actual camping. I instead used it on Sunday to document that day -- and I'll post those later. For now, I think I'll just give the highlights, one of which was the fantastic fry bread I made and brought with.

There were alot of people, we counted 18. Half of them were brother-in-law Ben's friends and were a friendly bunch of folks that mostly kept to themselves. Much like we kept to ourselves. On Friday night, after we set up our tent Jen showed up. A while later she said she wanted to talk a walk, so we decided to go on our first impromptu, midnight moon hike. It was awesome! So great, in fact, that we went on two. The second one brought us around to the winter shelter and we went inside, Laima found the light and we ended up talking until 2:00 in the morning! It was nice to have some girl time and privacy.

Saturday morning, after a night of freezing toes -- I awoke with no hangover. We stayed in the tent and read, ate snacks and enjoyed the beginning of the weekend in lazy style. Eventually I did get up and we started to eat second breakfast...and well dang, camping is just a bunch of eating. Laima, Kathleen and I got antzy while waiting for Tim and Chuck to decide they were ready to go biking, so we went for another walk. The morning was perfect for the many photo op's that we presented Kathleen with since Laima and I had forgotten our own cameras. We hiked, explored, laid in a grassy field, inspected old abandoned farm equipment and tried to identify a tree with shedding bark and yellow leaves. I have a picture of that I will post and try to get one of you to tell me what it is.

Then Tim, Chuck and I went mountain biking. The trail was much different now than in the middle of the summer. Way more rocky. I felt like my brain was bouncing around inside of my head. So at the end of the first big trail I felt like I might have a headache coming on. Tim suggested we take a break and so we went back to the campsite to eat some more and wait for Sarah and Dave to return so we could go to Parnell Tower (you know, every park seems to have a big wooden structure to see the "scenery."

The waiting got long so I decided to practice some driving. Just as I was practicing Sarah and Dave returned providing me with an out. But I figured it took that much time to work up that courage that I should go with it. Besides Laima was kind enough to be my instructor. I can't believe how much I had forgotten about driving manual, and how many times one can stall out in a row. :( By the time I managed to get the car started and back to the campsite again, everyone had left! Laima and I, decided therefore to go apple orchard hunting instead, and I wanted to bring my camera...except it was no where to be seen.

Oh no! Did we have another "Laura Lost her Expensive Camera at Kettle Moraine" story again? I ripped apart the tent, the car and my bag and nothing. Finally I assumed that Tim had taken it and we left. I made sure to call, and then text message him because reception was spotty. Yes, he had taken it and after that I was able to relax. We had a nice ride through the country and returned in time for another hike (this time it was Laima, me and Tim) -- and we discovered the existence of a Fairy ring. I'll tell you more about that when I get to the pictures.

Then Saturday was drinking, fire sitting and then an early bed for me. I had the brilliant idea of heating water and pouring it in a water bottle to heat up my feet and it worked amazingly! I feel asleep and slept the night through. Perfect.

Sunday morning was picturesque. The Madison crew sat around and read with the exception of Chuck and Kathleen and read, drank coffee, and ate breakfast. Ben and the rest of them were packed and gone by 11.30 which left the site to just us. Tim and I are 9 out of 10 times, the last people to leave, and this time was no exception. We took our time dismantling, read some more, went on another hike to document the fairy ring, and the I kissed Tim "later" and he drove home while Laima and I started our "Laima and Laura's Big Sunday Adventure" Briefly we: ate pumpkin ice cream, 3 garage sales, pumpkin patch, cheese curd place, archeological event, bird watching, down home cooking and awesome car music.

It helped lessen the sadness that I always feel at the end of camping. There is something really sad about seeing an empty campsite and knowing for a brief time that was our home. Laima thought of another equally sad moment - taking down the Christmas tree.

I tried to think of other moments that inspire that kind of sadness -- leaving an apartment was the only other one I could think of. I am sure there are more though.

I got home at about 7:00PM, showered, fed the animals, cracked open a beer and watched Battlestar Gallatica's season premier.

All in all, it was quite a nice weekend, and I am sad that it's over and that the cold is coming and the long cold winter.

My coworker is incredibly chatty today. I don't mind. It is Friday after all...

This weekend, starting tonight. We are going camping, and for a second time in the history of our camping it isn't forecasted to rain! Holy cow! Also, it's the first time we have ever camped in October. I plan on bringing extra blankets since there have been frost advisories every day for the last week. Cold!

Tim got my favorite two drinks: Spotted Cow and New Glarus: Belgium Red. We are also providing cider, and I was thinking of soup and foil packets for dinner. Believe it or not I might be sick of brats...but wait, I have two sausages left that I could bring.

We got rid of Schoonkpea on Wednesday. Thank god. We drove to Milwaukee to set him up with a family that is line for a cat friendly dog. The idea is that they dog sit him for us over the weekend and if they like him, they keep him! I hope to god they keep him. When he pooped in the kennell on Wednesday I was ready to toss him out the door and keep him there. I am not in a stage of my life right now where I think "little accidents" are cute (poop in kennel and peeing on my couch -- oh the disrespect!), and don't think counter surfing antics are adorable. If a cat isn't technically allowed on the counter, a dog sure the hell isn't either.

No, the dog doesn't jump on the counter. Greyhounds are big enough to help themself to anything they want if they get on their hind legs, like Schoonk did when I caught him eating pizza.

I have floor burns on my elbows from Monkey bar yesterday. We did these awful things called Swimmers, Army crawl, shrimps, inchworm, frog hops, crawl forward, crawl backward, broad jumps and .... travelling sit outs. My elbows are extra hurty today. I forgot to bring my hippy healing salve with me to work today too...

What a beautiful day. I woke up with an awesome dream that I wish had continued...but at least it left me wanting more, I made some coffee, read the the internet...watched all the web episodes of Battlestar Gallactica on Scifi.com, cleaned the bathroom window, went to Walgreen, washed some laundry and hung it up to dry, started a letter to my Mom, and even wrote some emails. Pretty productive eh?

Last night Tim and I took my bike to Trek and the WHOLE parking lot was full. I mean, the whole thing clear over to Cool Beans...why? Because the Princeton Fitness club has that many people. I couldn't believe it. We did manage to find a parking spot, but still. That's a hellva lot of folks going there to work out. Personally? I like my avant garde workout routines.

Although I was really disappointed last night. Because I have had to switch schedules and have the misfortune of attending classes where people ask LOTS of questions (therefore making it look like all of us don't know what we are doing), or have classes with an instructor who simply isn't comfortable about handing out stripes. Two of my colleagues, who got their red belt the same week I did now have four stripes. How many do I have you ask? One. One fucking stripe. AND....one of them took a month off...so....I ask you. Do you see a discrepancy here? Because I sure the hell do. I made sure to say something to the effect of "It's difficult here because Eric doesn't do stripes, and I had to switch my class scedule." She said to bring up that I want to work on certain pages at the start of each class and that she will work on it. But...folks, yeah I hear that...but....I felt so crushed and frustruated afterward. Really fraking disappointed, so much so that I just felt bad for the rest of the night.

I am SO mad, disappointed, angry etc, that I just want to quit. Yeah, I have two more belts to go before the black belt, (red, bodan and then black) but in February it will be three years and three years is about the time it takes to GET a black belt. I have done the equivalent of at least twice a week for the past two and half years and I am only at one stripe red belt...while my ....and it's not that I suck folks. I don't, and I know it. It seems liike they are unwilling to give a stripe to anyone that knows their stuff unless everyone else does too.

Cry me a river, I know. But when you are sick of constantly going, and tired and bored of the classes, and have been doing the same damn thing every week for that length of time and are frusturated already then....well this just isn't helping. I am so tempted to just not go in November, when my prepaid months are up. Just not go in November, focus on going to Monkey bar five days a week or something since I am paid up for that month, and then reconsider in December.

Tim says to decide at the beginning of November what I want to do. Maybe my little talk will have had an effect. Maybe not.

So that was how I was feeling last night, angry and angry that I was angry and couldn't let it go. Tim and I got my spokes fixed and adjusted on my bike in time for mountain trailing this weekend while camping, and we headed over to Home Depot to get a privacy window adhesive for the bathroom, and a mum. I picked out an dark red one...it's so nice sitting in next to the front porch. It was cheaper than a pumpkin...and I feel like I decorated a bit.

We got home and I took out the pizza I had made earlier and put it on the counter while the oven warmed up. We stepped outside for a moment to look at the weather and when we came back in the Foster dog had helped himself to half of the pizza. I yelled at him and chased him to the bedroom because Tim was yelling at me "The kennel is not to be used for punishment!"

We ended up cutting off that 1/3 of the pizza and just cooking the rest. Well, you can imagine just how angry I was 1.5 hours later when I went to the bathroom and emerged to find that foster dog helping himself to leftover pizza up on the counter. I was SO mad that I screamed "oh my god, oh my god" and actually hopped up and down yelling at him. He ran to the bedroom and I threw a sweatshirt after him to help him on his way. I hopped because I was mad ...but also to make more noise. Although I am sure I probably was making more than enough. My throat felt sore afterwards and I decided the best thing to do would to just go to bed. So that is what I did.

Today I went to Walgreens to get a new vhs tape to tape Battlestar on Friday for when we go camping. While I was there I also got:

-taupe hard as nails, nail polish
-mini pink highlighter (clearance)
-king sized caramel crunch bar (coupon)
-king sized chunky bar (coupon)
-rubbing alcohol
-starbuck frappachino
-mike and ikes candy box
-whoppers candy box
-gumdrop candy box
-bag of fruit flavored hard candy
-fire dentyn gum (clearance)
-bendable green pen (clearance)
-light purple with opal highlights fake hair for pluto's My Little Pony costume (30% off)
-Old Spice shaving cream
-pencil sharpener (clearance)
-3M packaging tape (clearance for Hilary)
-variety pack incense (clearance)

Gah. You see how awful that store is to me? And could you tell I was hungry and needed a snack? Ha. Anyway. I find that having a little candy around the house saves me from making batches of cookies, cakes and pies and eating it all.

I should really do some cleaning now. Look, it's 3:34...and my living room is SUPER messy. I'm not even gonna tell you about the kitchen.

I thought I would share with you the results of our latest writing assignment. The subject was epiphany. It's a first and therefore, rough draft.

When I think of the phrase hitting me like a ton of bricks, -- that’s happened on a few times. Once, and quite possibly the most important because it was the first, was in the 5th grade. For two years prior to Mr. Beirstein’s class, and through a different small town school district, I struggled to understand the untold complexities of math. A study that may well the most difficult, theoretical science in the world. It’s applications are endless and contrary to elementary and high school belief, you do use them in every day instances.

I had struggled with math from the get go. In 1st grade I recall my lower jaw hitting the beige school desk when Todd Wilson was able to answer, with ease, the sum total of 12 plus 13. It was an extra credit question, pure brownie points at the end of the term and the last math class. I remember studying the problem on the board and trying to figure how on earth anyone could approach such a problem, and even after it had been explained I was confused. Thinking back on this, I believe it is here that the seed of truth – “some people are innately better at understand Math, then others,” was planted.

It was finally in 5th that I had my first breakthrough. Sent from the classroom in shame because my homework was not finished, I sat on the floor trying to figure out multiplication. I just could not, for the life of me, figure it out. I would desperately try to think of various formulas, equations, utilizing my powers of logic and reasoning all to figure out the sum total 123 x 678. I knew the rules back and forth. One must begin by multiplying the right most bottom number with the top row, start a second row, with the second most bottom number, and so on. The key, as it was drilled into me many times over, was to add a zero in the right hand side each time, and then in the end add up the numbers. What I didn’t understand was the exact placement of the elusive zero. Then, in a complete moment of desperation, I threw the zero in a spot I had never previously considered. Suddenly, my answer was correct, as it was verified by Kyle Winslow who also sent into hall purgatory with me. I quickly tried another, and another and all, without fail were correct.

What I had been doing was:

123
678
----
984
8610
73800
= 256300

To those who are more mathematically inclined, this is obviously wrong. What you probably knew, as I knew then, when a curtain of darkness was lifted from eyes was that the problem should really look like:

123
678
----
__984
_8610
73800
----
= 83394
(please disregard the "_" -- I needed it to format the HTML)

I felt like I had won a major battle. Though I wasn’t bloody, scratched and still had all my limbs, I had emerged from this multiplication war as a victor. I was filled with the euphoria of ‘understanding’ and ‘comprehension.’ I finally had the secret inside scoop on how this worked. I thought, at least for a few days that I had finally conquered the number war that was a major part of basic education.

Though this problem would plague me well into my adult years, from plodding through basic algebra, to advanced basic, algebra, to geometry in high school to the mandatory math credit that one had to pass in college in order to be considered well rounded. Even with the help of a personal professional tutor, a whole class devoted to tutoring and the assistance of a yellow haired boy from Lodi, who I suspect had a crush on me – I couldn’t not pass the midterms for Algebra 1, both times I tried. It was finally Computer Science 131 that allowed me to graduate with the final grade of D, which I couldn’t have gotten without my genius boyfriend help on the final project.

Even now, shopping at Target, JC Penny and Sears, I am eternally grateful for the for little plagues that show consumers like me, exactly how much 30%, 40% or 70% off of the original price of a fantastic, cute little skirt equals out to be. Until they started having these signs, I would desperately try to cobble together a formula of my own. Of course there were easy ones, like 50% is half, but anything more than that was a challenge. I would rely on the old for 10% is one dollar of ten, and 20% is two dollars of ten. It generally worked well enough to get an rough estimate of how much something was, but it hasn’t entirely saved from register shock when I realize I was completely wrong.

But in my darkest days when I confront other complexities in my life such a relationships, self realization and home improvement, I often think back to that one incident. A time when I suddenly understood the impossible and I harbor hope that there will be many more incidences in my life where I have the same groundbreaking, epiphany.