Tim is on vacation. It's not the kind of vacation that means we are actually somewhere different than our home on the east side of Madison. No, it just means that he doesn't have to work this week, and is doing some of the putzy stuff that we all want a few days to ourselves to do. Myself? I am not on vacation...although I do plan on making some of Tim's vacation worthwhile by making him leave the house -- go fishing, visit Wisconsin Dells, go out for lunch one day...etc. Although not today because Monday's are always chore days. I still have to make a Monday list but I have already done things like: work on a letter, read internet crap, email people, update blogger, feed the fish, and eat breakfast. I have other things to do like clean, clean and oh yeah, do some more cleaning cos the Geisler's are staying here on Wednesday night. Not that the house is THAT messy, it always gets destroyed over the weekend.

I am currently reading Phillip Pullman's "His Dark Materials" series. I made Tim go to Barnes and Nobles yesterday to buy the other two books because I was smitten. It's really fast paced, and I like the different notions of fantasy that he is telling. Great stuff. We also played some sports with Ty Quan (our little) ...okay Tim did more of the playing. I just can't get myself interested in basketball. Besides my left knee has been hurting and I didn't want to antagonize it any more. I have crappy knees to begin with and take the utmost care in making sure they don't get any worse than they already are. That and basketball is incredibly boring and I suck at it.

Sunday evening we took Pluto to the Token Creek dog park. This is the third Sunday that we have taken him in the evening and we are starting to recognize people. There is a Sunday evening dog clutch.

If I were single, I know exactly what I would do to get myself a good man. I would go to the dog park by myself to walk the path. Why? Because there are plenty of single men, with dogs that go to the dog park. Single men with dogs say lots...it says that they are stable, they can support dogs, have a job, probably have a big enough place and don't share with roommates, they are compassionate, reliable, etc etc. Why would I go by myself? So that I could talk to these single men and say "OH, I WISH I had a dog. I just come here to wish..." and proceed with the flirting. Yes, that is how I would find a grade A man. The dog park.

*sniff* I just finished watching the most moving movie I have seen in ages. I am still sniffly and five minutes have passed. It was called "The Children's Hour" about two women whom are tormented by terrible gossip at a girl's school (with Audrey Hepburn and Shirely MacLaine).

No job for me. Oh well. At least the East School people had the decency to call and say they picked someone else, the UW one didn't. What to do? Other than feel a little sorry for myself....

So it is at times like this that I think about the 'greater picture.' The whole, god aspect, if you will. All that blather about there being some great purpose to your life (if only you can figure it out). I wish that God was on instant messenger and I could just ask him "Hey, what could I do that would bring me joy and fullfillment that would help the 'great plan' that you have for me?"

I like to think that everything happens for a reason and that there are no coincidences in life. While there is an element of chance and luck...I think that it would favor the prepared person. I am prepared, I went out and applied and tried and offer to do things. Yet nothing has come to fruitation. Since I technically tried, I have nothing to feel bad about (other than the loss of potential money). But, what I am trying to say here is or rather ask, is what is the reason I did not get a job?

I have an application laying on the living room floor to be a foster parent for the Ho Chunk Nation. I got it last week just as I was applying and interviewing for all these jobs. Perhaps that is the reason?

Maybe I should go back to school. There is a really good possibility that I could get it all paid for through grants, scholarships and fellowships. I would consider going to school to be just like having a job just like I viewed getting my undergraduate.

I should continue to plan and work on things for crafting and opening my grand store in two or three years, and also continue to toil away at writing. But I was going to do that anyway -- but maybe if I had gotten a job then I would have lost focus.

Maybe I should just keep my options open and keep looking around and something is waiting in the near future that I would have found IF I had gotten a job. Hm.

Bah, so much maybe, what if's and perhaps.

Went to the kennels yesterday to walk dogs, came home did some DDR to work of a donut, putzed around downstairs in an effort to make it more habital, helped unload garb...er thrift treasures into our garage for a friends garage sale that we were supposed do back in June, went to the dog park with Pluto and Tim, went grocery shopping and spent 20 valuable minutes looking for the damned Manwich, and went to the Inferno with Sarah and Dave. The Inferno was okay, I did way more visiting that I normally do and I am pretty sure I didn't embarass myself much, saw Rachel who was in town for a wedding and danced to five songs before leaving. I got home and instantly washed washed my face, got into jammies and warmed up some lasagna dinner I didn't have time to eat before I left. Oh it was so good....I ate it while watching Batman on TV.

"This town needs and enema!"

When I was younger I thought he was saying "enemy" with just a funny accent. Tim scoffed at me and said I should have known what that word was when I was 13 or 14. Itold him that the same fat kids that patrolled his playgrounds, obviously didn't make it to mine.

Now I should really take a shower so my hair has a chance to dry before we pick out our "little" for doing something. We have no freaking idea what we are going to do either.

There were a bunch of crows cawing this morning from 7 - 10 AM. Tim said that crows hate owls and pick on other birds of prey too. They follow the bird from tree to tree and heckle them. I commented that crows should be looking for food or something and Tim replied that crows are afforded a lot of time. Crows. All freaking morning they moved around our neighbhorhood picking on a poor hawk. I wished fervently that we lived out in the woods and had (at the very least) a BB gun.

The High School job interview went...eh. I had lots of enthusiasm, made great eye contact, shook hands firmly, was careful in my answers and sold myself. However, the questions were that very generic "we don't have lots of experience interviewing people" so the questions were hard to answer. At least by giving them what they wanted to hear. The interview was with three people: head principle, secretary to principle and another principle (who showed up half way through the interview). Now it's my impression that when someone doesn't show up or shows up halfway through -- that a couple tenths (thanks olympics) were taken off my score. The head principle was very bruque and distracted, the secretary was nice, and the other half late principle looked wiped and barely there. All said, I couldn't tell how I was doing and by looking at the sheets they were writing my comments on...I was fourth in line. I know there are no more interviews today because I overheard someone else asking for the room, but there might be one tomorrow. The head principle said that they were interviewing until Friday...so I am pretty sure there is one more. So that means only one was knocked off from the six that I saw on the roster for the skills test. They said that they would let all of candidates know by Monday or Tuesday at the latest.

So....I think on a scale of 1-10, that it was a 6 versus the UW interview which was a 9.547. At this point I am thinking it is entirely likely that neither will take me. Bah. Thus with those feelings, I am going to go with Mike's great advice and just be .... er.. American. That is to say, take whatever job comes my way and then quit if I get a better offer. Why not? He's right, I don't owe anything to them and they don't owe anything to me, and this whole code of ethics thing is bullshit anyway. Then of course there is always the chance that the webperson for the UW job was savvy enough to check out my website and is currently reading all this and thinks I have no ethics to begin with. Ha. Oh well, make my bed and lay in it? It sure isn't that comfy right now.

At least I did my best and if nothing comes through -- then so be it. I should really be focusing on other goals anyway (even if the extra money would really be handy). But thanks to Phil and Mike for giving me great advice...maybe the comments feature is a good idea after all. :) As for the anonymous thing..don't worry about it. I don't expect everyone to start blogs just so they can have personalized name thingies.

In other news, Tim is sick today. He woke up not feeling great and decided after awhile to do a half day. He went off and then just came back complaining of a headache and chills. He is actually very warm, so I sent him to bed with some nyquil and an order to rest. Poor darling.

This darling should go and find something to eat so that I can have the energy to do the cleaning that needs to be done. Lots of mopping. One of my goals is to mop the party basement really good so that I can use it for a practice area. Last night was great at sparring. I actually got a hit off of Iron Man! Yeah, it was in the beginning and he was expecting my slow ass self...when I did a double jab followed by a step-to-the-side reverse punch -- and I got him! He chuckled cos I got him. I wasn't expecting that to happen for another few months...but I didn't let the glory go to my head. My right shin guard slipped a bit and I am now sporting a huge ass bruise on my right shin.

When it rains it pours huh? What to do. Try not to worry about it for one...but I would at least like to have a plan for when it does happen -- that's just called being prepared. My problem.

I interviewed yesterday for assistant to important person, for 10.34 an hour from 7.45-11:00 AM every day (read 3.25 hours) and it is located downtown and for the University. The interview went well and the head honcho said she had more interviews that day and ...well today and would make a decision late today before they started calling references. Bah.

I get home after the interview and find that the High School people called for an interview (which is set up today for 1:00 tomorrow). THIS job pay 13.54 an hour, is a permanent 9 month position (summers off!!!!) and benefits, and just seems more interesting because it is in a high school. I like kids, yeah even teenagers even though I alternatively revile them. ;)

So what I am afraid of, is that the UW might offer me the job tomorrow (I hope to God it is delayed until Friday). I need to give the MMSD district SOME time to consider me? Do I press them at the interview? That is bad taste though, isn't it? The only thing I know I should do is put off the UW people for at least a day citing that I need to think about it. But an I get away with more than day? Maybe two days to think about it?

What should I do? The school job is far superior, but if i don't get it I don't want to burn my bridges.

Friday I went to the Mo All Church sale and had myself a fake brat (Italian sausage is NOT a brat!), a cookie and a diet coke while I browsed the tables. I found a bunch of great quality clothes, a bunt pan, and a new frame for only 7.75! Rock on! I walked back home, stopped at one garage sale to find nothing and munched on popcorn the whole way. Once I got home it was 3:00, and I only had about an hour to go to visit all the rest of the garage sales in the area. I suited up my partner and together we went garage sailing. Pluto is an awesome partner (as long as you make sure he takes a dump before he leaves). I visited five or six more sales but only got a vintage picnic basket from the plus-size stamping lady. She seemed really independent and I probably would have liked to talk with her more if the hound hadn't needed some water.

Later on I challenged myself to see how fast I could ride to the Bar Next Door (over by the Alliant Energy Center). I got a late start because I got sucked into watching the National Spelling Bee. Man those kids are clean cut....anyway it took me only 30 min, and I got the stitches in the side right before I crossed under the main road...so about 25 minutes into it. Weird...I thought one only got stitches from major aerobic activity like running....and I didn't feel out of breath. Anyway. Went and had a few drinks at Al Capones old bar and then went to see a play "Audrey Seiler, Where Are You?" at the Broom Street Theater.

The play was good, but I really wish I hadn't seen the five minutes of the Olympic Ceremony before we left...those statues was an AWESOME! idea. Seriously, I wonder what the rest of it looked like...I wish they could have floats like that in real life...in our stupid little parades. Because if they did then you can believe that I would go and wait in line or overnight to see it. The play though was good...but it ended kind of abruptly, which was okay because I had somehow turned into a squirrel and couldn't stay still on those tiny little benches any longer.

Saturday night we went to the Essen Haus for a coworker's (Tim) going away party. It was fun and even though we had mini boots...the Obliterator still did it's namesake to me. Gah. After awhile we walked to some place called Ian's...a pizza joint where the Black Bear used to be. I don't remember it being there...but they new locals insist it has been there awhile. We had some pizza and walked all the way to the cardinal to where I car was parked. It felt like old times....walking everywhere a little drunk. Ahh yes...old times. There was tons of trash out there...but I didn't see one single homeless student guarding his or her shit. I did manage to pick up silk pillow though (one of the chinese deals that you zip). Great quality.

Sunday...ouch. Sunday....dark beer really hurts me. But since I didn't have that much it's only effect was a headache that lasted most of the day. It finally went away when Tim and I went to Barnes and Nobles to get a book and a fancy coffee. I think it was the caffiene that finally kicked it. Came back, watched The Boondock Saints (pretty good) and then went to bed.

Here I am trying to hurry myself up in typing this so that I can go and take a shower....and then go over to visit Lowen. There are other things I have to do today--lots of lousy dishes ( which I had excused myself from doing the past two days because I got a deep cut on my right index finger), menu and grocery list creating, packaging some ebay crap, and cleaning in general.

Last night I saw Day of the Dead. Two weeks ago, it was on Scifi...but I had somewhere to be so I only watched the first 20 minutes, and was riveted. I knew it had to be on netflix at the next possible moment. I was also shocked to see that the "Hello! Is anyone out there? Hulllloooooooo. Is anyone out there" with the creepy music on the Gorilla'z soundtrack was from this movie! Wow. Anyway, last night we watched it...and wow...what a great fucking movie! It is SO well done...I am utterly impressed. If you haven't seen it...see it. If you saw it when you were a kid...see it again because now you will see how well done it is.

So I am going garage sailing today. I was hoping to go with Hilary but she hasn't been online all morning which must mean that she has better things to do. I found four yesterday by accident while walking the hound and an old lady told me that this is when "our" neighborhood all sells their unwanted crap. Awesome! First off I need to go to Woodmans and get me some moola and get out of this dark cave of an office. It will also give me a good opportunity to canvas the hood and formulate a plan.

Oh I got my padded helmet and mouth guard yesterday. I can't wait until I get a job and can buy the rest of the gear. Scavenging sucks ass. At least I don't have to worry about anyone else's head sweat though.

The Triplets of Bellville was on last night in our DVD player. It was good, lots of great details, cute, with some obvious statements about certain countries...but over all .. .weird but good. I recommend it...not that anyone should really take my movie recommendations seriously. My book recommendations? That is another story.

I sparred the whole time last night. Navy dude got kicked in the head by the Hyper Sixteen got a seriously red eye -- which I am sure is black by this morning. Iron Man then said I should spar with Hyper and I said "Hell no, did you see what he just did to Navy?" Master Ring then said I could decide if I wanted too, but one look at Hyper Sixteen and it was obvious he felt bad. So I said I would give him a chance. He was very mellow and didn't try to much -- good. But after that I went back to sparring with Iron Man and Ned Look Alike - they are calmer and don't have anything to prove.

That on top of some DDR, walking in the morning and ... um...riding bike around doing errands = an exhausted me when I put myself to bed last night. Of course I made up for it this morning by sleeping until 11:00. For shame.

Well I am back. Fucking test, I got seven wrong out of 25 and four of those was because of the program. I am so used to scrolling to the option I want and then clicking, but the program only allowed one move at a time. In actuality I only got three wrong. Fuckers. And my typing averaged to 65 words per minute because the letter 't' stuck on their keyboard, and off course the test used the word committee every other sentence. Blah. But overall, I apparently passed the requirements. I looked at the lady's list of people for today and tomorrow and counted six. Hopefully some of those were for other positions? One can hope. And I feel so dumb because I forgot to take out my lip ring. I hope it doesn't affect their decision to send my application onto the people who make interviews. Oh well, at least I can say I tried going through this open door of opportunity, in the end that is all that matters.

Uff the cat box in the office stinks! I need to clean that. Also the basement is smelling basementy...I wonder how I can fix that. I know I need to go down there and clean it - sweep and bleach mop floors. Perhaps I should do that today since it so overcast -- I won't feel like I am missing out on great day mired in the depths of my house.

After the test I went to State Street and got a coffee at the UW Book Store (the cheapest place to get quality coffee STILL!) and walked up State Street trying to find out where the detour for the number 3 bus went. I finally found it across the capital after walking several blocks out of my way. By the time I got home I finished the whole 20 oz, and MAN do I feel jittery. I rarely have that much coffee anymore. Now I am ready to take on anything (specially those cat boxes because I abhor the smell of cat piss). Tim made me bring an extra hoodie, addition to the jacket I was wearing, and boy am I glad. It was nippy out!

The finale to Outback Jack is on tonight! WOo... I am rooting for Natalie (that Marissa is obviously painted evil by TBS for a reason right?). Not that any of it really matters now does it? Man did you see his "house" on last weeks episode? This guy is fucking loaded. Hell, if it weren't for my darling, *I* would have participated in this show. Of course, I'm not rich, nor am I city girl.

Yesterday I dug carrots out of my pathetic garden to make room for my squash. Whilst digging out a carrot I jammed the dirt into a nail so hard that it bled. That should count for something, when you bleed for your garden. It feels better today though. Next year I am just going to either go for flowers and plant like ONE vegetable type thing...probably squash. I like how it grows, and how it tastes when it is done growing.

It's such a gloomy day that I insisted Tim give me a ride to TKD. Tomorrow morning I have an appointment with microsoft word and a typing test for a cute little job. I hope I get it, it sounds like so much fun. In order to not jinx myself though, I am not going to talk about it.

Now I am going to go light more incense, clean up the kitchen and close the windows. It's so chilly in here. Brr.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZOEY! (aka Chimera - for those of you that even notice the left hand side of the page).

So, like everyone else I had a weekend.

Friday I hung out with Hilary most of the day -- trip to Target, walk and I took her to the Dairyland (my newest find), but she wasn't impressed. Oh well, *I* still like it, and so does Tim. It was a beautiful day for a walk and to get out of the house. Ahh. I got a new sport bra at target by the way and the wrong size of underwhere. I hate that when that happens, at least I noticed before I opened the package though.

We went camping on Saturday up at Kettle with the usual gang. Had a good time, burned some wood, ate some food, drank too much of Sigrid's Mom's Sangria and the Stop N Go in Dundee paid for it. Ha. I made Tim drive away quickly and I don't think anyone saw me...phew.

The rest of Sunday was taking naps, watching the finale of The 4400. Huh. From the future eh? I wish that show would have gone on longer....without giving me an end. I would happily make that trade. Unfortunately I missed Sarah's Bridal Shower because we got home 45 minutes later, and it would have taken another half hour to get there...and that is just too close to two hours late. Sigh. I guess I will have to make it up later, perhaps invite them over for dinner.

Now I gotta go to the post office and do some other shizmit. Like what? Um. Uhhhh....read, and do a little writing I think. Yes, that will do for now.

Yesterday the site was down cos the server's were down. I didn't notice until the afternoon and emailed InterXstream to ask them about it and within like 3 minutes I got a response! Holy cow. My old provider wasn't able to provide that great of support. I am so glad I changed...this is so much better and I still have craploads of space. Anyway, I am back today!

Yesterday I went over to Chuck's to help tape three rooms and primed them all. We got them all primed before Matt, Sigrid and her friend Jesse left by 11 or so and Chuck had just started to do the edging for the living room. I would have helped more, and possibly today but he said that the red paint was going on a lot easier than the primer and only needed one coat. Cool. So that opens up my day -- and had already been snatched up by Hilary (for part of it). We are going Target so I can get another one of those awesome cherry flavored diet coke fountain drinks. Then take a walk or something afterward?

Then I gotta come back and write an essay "What martial arts means to me" and practice the second form a few times before I head out to conquer the green belt. I also have to sqeeze in a visit to the post office before then so I can send my Mom a letter/package. Now, when I had volunteered a few hours to help organize their files I saw a few of these essays. I use that term loosely....because they were about a paragraph each written on lined notepaper ripped out. Judge? Me? So, I can't do that because I have this idea that I am better that ripped out notepaper and pencil. I need to write a real essay (even if it be short) printed out via computer.

It reminds me of a time I went to Winnebago Youth Leadership Camp back in the summer of 93. I foolishly decided to run for a royalty title (why? I don't know -- I hadn't realized it was that cliquey then?). When I got there, my application was lost ---whew...so I didnt' have to worry about it. But then an old lady found it! And entered me in anyway. Gah. One of the things I had to do was write a speech about what the Youth Leadership camp means to me or whatever. I wrote out a speech in about a half an hour and sat back and waited. Luckily I was the last to go up and boy was I nervous to do that. The other three speeches went as:

"Hi, my name is Shawna Tree Beard, my indian name is Blah blah blah-shep blah-ga. I am fifeteen years old and go to BRF high school. I like horse back riding, soccer, dancing and kittens. I think the Leadership camp is good."

OOOoooookkkkkayyy. So, I went up and since I had nothing else to say other than my speech, I gave it. I riveted every single one of them with my reasons why the leadership camp should exist, how great it was in fostering community and fighting back the attrition of our culture, painting a bright hope for the Ho Chunk future, blah blah blah. At the end of the speech everyone clapped and looked slightly stunned. Man was I embarassed, but I seemed to have won a slight amount respect (lots of people congratulated me on my speech writing skills) - so that I did not finish last...but second to last (out of four). I also won first place in like four other catergories -- so I was a little glad I didn't get first because then I would looked like a piggy. Although that was the only category that the youth could vote on -- meaning all the elders liked me. :)

Anyway, that is what writing this essay feels like. I don't have to try very hard, but I now I am going to --even if it is not that much harder.

Recipe to Feel like a Queen (or some other powerful title)

1. Get two dogs
2. Walk around the house aimlessly
3. Watch as they follow you religiously

I just made some coffee sweetened with sugar and pilfered Target vanilla creamer. Is good. I am kind of trying to figure out what I should do today. Probably look around for more jobs, feed the hounds, take them out, and I should write something, huh? I am leaning towards letters though -- I have one letter I haven't even finished reading yet! But since it is kind of cloudy day, I could do that.

I started another attempt to record my dreams. I had been walking around with four of them last night, taking up my brain. I needed to get them out, so decided to write them down. I am super proud of myself for writing one of them down when I got up the second time this morning...although I didn' t write the one down from 5:00 because that was a murder type dream and I told myself that it was not all that noteworthy. But it's a good thing I wrote the 7:00 one down because I can't even remember what it was about right now. Huh.

I am gonna go and register for Stargate SG1 'Get in the Gate' sweepstakes again. I really would like to win.

You know what? I gotta quit reading other people's journals before I post to my own. I suddenly feel I have nothing to say after reading about how fabulous everyone else's lives are going. OH yes, mine is equally fantastic in it's humble, yet modest way -- but I don't know what I am trying to say.

It thunderstormed this morning. After Tim left for work and I ate some breakfast I crawled back into bed as the day got darker and read. After a few pages I fell asleep and dreamed I was in a coffee house from 10:00 am to 6:00 in the evening, and one whole wall was glass and it was thunderstorming outside. That was a much better dream then the one I had yesterday morning in which I helped Sarah make a budget. Ugh, how boring! I also kept losing my sheet of paper, and we were in Perkins of all places...

Let me see, on Friday I forgot what I did. OH wait, I know. I cleaned the house and rearranged the bedroom finally taking down that big Gypsy crate. It is so nice to able to reach my side of the closet again. I also have my very own dresser now! I haven't had my own dresser since....since....uhhh.....hm. I know there was a time in college...pre Tim.... anyway, it is has been awhile. My pants are finally important enough to get their own drawer and not just crammed inbetween the nooks and crannies of working pants.

Saturday we went to the Big Brother's Big Sister's 100th anniversary picnic with Ty'Quan. He abandoned us shortly after arriving to hang out with a friend of his. However, we were not along because five other kids glommed onto us at one point or another. Maybe we look like fun? Or maybe it was my red pants. I got a weenie whistle from the Oscar Meyer folks.

Later on at home, Tiara and Adrian came over and we talked and played DW4 before getting ready and heading out seperate ways. There was a going away party for one of Tim's coworkers, and a happy hour member with free beer and nachos at the OTC. It was fun and great to have some more free food. Then we went to the Inferno where I spent the next few hours trying not to exert any phyical energy at all. It was hot, stinky, smokey and just all around nasty at the Inferno. I walked outside several times and considered leaving if I couldn't find a seat soon. Luckily, I got one -- at the bar and dranks lots of iced water. Seriously, I haven't fantasized about fresh air as much as I did that night. We stayed for half of Stromkern's show and the left. We had had enough. Total amount of money spent the entire day = 4 bucks. That was on my last beer before we left too.

Sunday morning I chatted with Adrian and Tiara before they left for Milwaukee. I was sad to not offer them any food, but the truth was we didn't have any. Unless they wanted pickle...we did have those. We were just waiting for Sunday after five to go shopping (so there was no chance a check might have been passed through any official banking channels until Monday morning when we could make some deposits). But we figured it would be okay to go out and eat breakfast because it was our 6th Anniversary! Woo. Six years...I get more excited about anniversarie's than birthday's. It's much harder to see an anniversary come around than just getting older. Anyway, we checked out this resturant by our place called Dairyland. (Laima (noticed I spelled it right!) had mentioned it previous week asking if I had been there -- I said no). Well, we went and it was great! Awesome selection, old school Mom and Pop, great prices and good food. I had steak and eggs, and let me tell you I haven't had that much fun eating in a such a long time. Each bite was a rollercoaster of joy.

Back at home we slept. Then I made a menu, put together a grocery list and went to Woodman's to finally get some food. OH the food I got. It's so good. Such variety! No pickles this time. Got back and unloaded and then took the dogs to the dog park. They loved it and it was nice to walk out in the somewhat wilderness. Reminds me of being little again. I made a fresh tomato/basil pasta dish and smoothies for dinner and watched the 4400.

Here we are today and I feel like I just gave a litany of boring stuff. Oh well, at the very least I have a recollection of it for myself.