Finally, I have the Christmas Party 2003 photos up. You can visit it via the gallery link to your right, OR visit it by clicking: Christmas Party 2003 Photos

Today I spent with the poppets. I looked at all their Christmas presents, fixed some barbies badly in need of make overs, read a book and solved the mystery, went to the park and played the princess quest, hide and seek, rides on a blanket over the floor, dress up and dance recitals, strawberry shortcakes, house of mouse, lunch, clean up, tried to take a nap, and button making (not in that order). It was fun and my praise is: I will make a good mommy, I am the best babysitter there is, and .... uhh....well they keep calling me back? Right? Heh.

Anyway, Tim stopped by to pick me up but the Mom wasn't home yet, so I told him to go on ahead and take care of the dog. Pluto had his first full day of being home alone and thankfully didn't chew up anything, pee or poo anywhere and he ate a good portion of his dinner. Stinky dog. The Mom drove me home fifteen minutes later and then Tim and I went grocery shopping.

You know what would be a fun job? To stand in line and criticize what other people are getting. I mean, in this great nation of obese people, I would single handledly transform the morbidly obese folks to just overweight by showing them better food options and explaining just how bad some of it is for them. I say that, of course, after watching a family by four boxes of ice cream cones, two boxes of fudge sickles, ice cream, doritos, Hawaiian punch, Classic Coke, Red Baron pizza's, Stouffer's lasagna, chef boy arde ravioli, pop tarts, etc, etc. First, I could shave their bill down by telling them how generic really isn't that different than brand name. Second, do you REALLY need that much sugar and fattening food? No, I didn't think so. BUT, it's none of my business. I just wish that America was better educated on how to purchase inexpensive food and make better food choices. My mom did the same thing when I was growing up...except she might have gotten more generic items, but there was a lot of chips, coke, banquet chicken, etc that we didn't really need. Ha, not that it really mattered because us kids didn't get any. We got the pea soup with ham for dinner and was in bed by eight. AFTER eight, is when they made the good stuff. They didn't do that all the time, but enough for me to remember it.

Anyway, we finished shopping (76 bucks for two weeks), and Tim bought some Michelob Ultra based on a recommendation by Lowen. So far, it just tastes like Old Style from a tap but with half the calories.

Tim wasn't in the mood for DDR, and I did think about it. But I decided to do dishes, make dinner and now surf the web and post on this. My calfs are still a little sore from this weekend. On Saturday we went over to John's house where we were indoctrinated into the Revolution. My god, that game is fun. After three hours of dance dance dancing, we played Mario Kart and Mario Party before heading home. The holidays just aren't the same without a session of vids tucked in. On Sunday we headed out on our quest to buy some floor pads and a used game. We got lucky at EB games were we got DDR1 and some pads for only 19 each. I looked online later and found that I can modify them with some items from home depot. I think I might do that to extend the life of the pads and also because it would seem I am a bit of a shuffler.

I was trying to think of kids that would like this game and Kino and Tata came to mind. I bet they could get as good as the kids Tim saw in England playing it at the arcade.

Tim and I have joined the revolution.

The dance dance revolution that is.

I think this was the best benninghoff christmas yet! Tim and I had loads of fun. There was church, but that was great because we sang most of the time and the service got messed up in parts so it was funny. Followed by the flurry of setting the table and then eating. Then we all helped to clean up (with the exception of Tim) so that it was done within 30-45 min. Presents quickly followed while the coffee brewed and then Mark and Erica had to leave, but the rest of played the new benninghoff holiday tradition of a board game. It was cool because mother in law Sharon put considerable interest and BOUGHT a game especially for this! Usually she doesn't, and the first couple of years she would just cook and then mysteriously disappear for the rest of the day.

It was a game called Loaded Questions, I have never heard of it, but it was fun. Tim who trailed the whole game eventually ended up winning by guessing what every answered to the question of "What Horror movie scared you the most". You see, the question was asked. Then everyone but Tim answers and then the sheets are passed to the previous person and he reads the answers out loud. Tim then tries to figure out who said what...he actually got five for five...the first time in the game and for the winning ticket.

Afterward we sat around some more, Ben left and then after awhile so did we--so we could get back and feed the animals. Pluto is pooped! Being around six other dogs and the excitement really wore him out. It kind of sucks that Tim has to work tomorrow...but at least it is only one day. It was even cooler because this month I made an extra 250 dollars babysitting and Tim got a 300 dollar bonus from Epic. That means we could pay for the Christmas party, the presents to ourselves (the DVD home theater, digital camera, Lord of the Rings II DVD, tickets to see the final LoTR movie (awesome!!!), and pajamies for me since Tim ganked the other really comfortable pair), and it paid for one gift to each of the family. Rock on!

We got Mark a little shelf, Sarah got two placematts with matching cloth napkins and napkin holders, ben got coffee and fancy cookie things, erika got a chocolate tin, Phil got a chinese bowl with chop sticks and a little tray, sharon and tim got a big tea pot, tea and a homemade tea cozy, Luke got a five in one or whatever game kit and then there the two gifts for Bekah and Greg which I will have to send them since they couldn't be there. Neither was Sarah and Luke, but I just left those gifts at the house and they will have to open them in February when Sarah moves back to Wisconsin.

WE got two wooden elephants with bendy knees and trunks and a gift certificate to Barnes and nobels from phil, a framed drawing and two bar stools from Ben, a game called "the 90's game from mark (finally a trivia game *I* can play....I just wish I could find someone to play it with me right now. :( ), and Pluto got a ball toy from Wrigley. What a haul!

We drove home and then I called my Mom and talked with her for an hour and found out that I am not getting an extra cash in my per capita check because of some vague BIA regulations. I WISH I had gotten the letter. This disappointed me so much. Now I am going to have find more ways to earn my keep and really focus on accomplishing my New Years resolutions.

All in all, I had a great christmas day, which is funny considering I still don't feel too much of the Christmas spirit. I guess it nice to see how the family is coming together SO nicely. I can't wait until there are kids in the bunch.

Taken from Christian:

1. What did you do in 2003 that you'd never done before?

Quit a job I actually liked, and well....bought a house.

2. Did you keep your New Years resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

For the most part, yes. I like goals. And I have three slated so far for the new year. I want to collect 52 rejection letters by the end of the year, learn a Ho Chunk word a week (committed to memory) and ...crap I had a really good third one, but I can't remember it right now....man it was good too. I guess that will just have to be a little secret and everyone can guess how I have been self improved.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Yes.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Yes and no, my aunt janice passed away.

5. What countries did you visit?

Scotland, England

6. What would you like to have in 2004 that you lacked in 2003?

Personal success.

7. What date from 2003 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

August 1st. Our fifth year anniversary and the day we bought a house.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Buying a house and moving back to Wisconsin. The first real, solid step in settling down.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Holding a grudge for so long.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

First time I had a cold in over three years.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Digital Camera that I got up for at 5:00 in the morning and stood in line at target with other desperate shoppers.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?

Tim, for quitting his old job that made his absolutely miserable (without a solid job prospect in the future).

13. Where did most of your money go?

Downpayment on the house, followed by getting Pluto.

14. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Again, the house and perhaps the dog.

15. What song will always remind you of 2003?

The JC Penny jingle "It's all inside"

16. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? happier
b) thinner or fatter? about the same
c) richer or poorer? richer? poorer

17. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Spent more time with my friends.

18. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Worrying about how everything would turn out in the massive change.

19. . How will you be spending Christmas?

Milwaukee with the Benninghoff's and their dogs.

20. Did you fall in love in 2003?

Yes, with a dog and his little possum too.

21. What was your favourite TV programme?

Stargate SG1

22. What was/were the best book(s) you read?

The Cabinet of Curiosities, The Life of Pi, Auntie Mame, Abarat

23. What was your greatest musical (re)discovery?

Diary of Dreams, Assemblage 23 and Stromkern

24. What did you want and get?

A house, a dog, not working, a trip to Scotland

25. What did you want and not get?

A few finished stories that I am super proud of.

26. What was your favorite film of this year?

The Return of the King, X Men II, 28 Days Later, Pirates of the Carribean

27. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I became 27 and went out to eat at Merles with Eric and Kate.

28. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Being published.

29. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2003?

More digressed than usual.

30. What kept you sane?

My darling, letters, netflix, cable and internet

31. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Johnny Depp

32. Who did you miss?

Eric and Kate

33. Who was the best new person you met?

Liama and Jen

34. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2003.

Paying off all credit card debt DOES payoff.

So far today....

We have made cookies. Decorated cookies. Had a tea party with cookies, herbal mint tea, and cut little squares of bolonga and cheese sandwiches. Took Pluto for a small walk around the block. Took a whispering nap, ,which they are doing right now.

Then I think some good old fashioned TV is in order. After all, it is Christmas break. Thank goodness I have cable so that they can watch some ... kid toons instead of talk shows.

Wow, I think this is one of the longest stretches of not posting anything. I do have reasons though. One of the more believable ones being that our modem crashed and burned on us. It took three days until we had a new one and by then the weekend hit. I don't often go on the computer to do anything on the weekend. But now, today is Monday.

This weekend was pretty good. It started on Friday with Tim getting an extra hundred dollars from Epic as a Christmas bonus! Totally unexpected because a few weeks earlier he had gotten a notice from Epic saying that they were going to donate a hundred dollars in his name to a charity. They had a list of them, and we ended up picking Big Brother and Sister because it was the closest thing to Kinship (which I had participated in growing up). We were excited. After work he picked me up and went to Best Buy to buy the Two Towers extended DVD and then over to the theater to get tickets for Saturday mornings first show. Success on both levels! Plus we ordered pizza, and it was very good. I bought dinner that night from my babysitting stint.

That night we watched extended Towers and I personally loved it. I appreciated all the extra scenes and thought it made a better movie. The next day we saw the Return of the King and that was equally great. The battle scenes were awesome and I choked up the most when Faramir was riding to his doom, and when Eowin beat the witch king. Great stuff. I am already looking forward to next year when I can watch them all at once with the extended scenes.

The rest of the day was spent lounging and reading. That night I felt I wanted to go out and clear my head and be around people. Tim wasn't up to going to the inferno so I took a chance and called Dave and Sarah to see if they were going. They were, AND they were willing to give me a ride! How awesome is that? Very. Anyway, I got there and visited with Lowen, Sarah and briefly with Jen and Tiara who stopped by for short while from their viking party. I had a good time and even danced to one song. Woo. On the way out, I decided to glance at the pictures the Inferno had from their seven years of operation and found myself. A wee thing of about 20. I ganked the picture because it was so weird to see me from years ago...and looking good. :D I consider it my Christmas card from the Inferno. I think I was the only one who ganked a picture though. Bad me.

Sunday was sleep and book filled. That night we watched Terminator III, which could have just been a 15 minute extra at the end of the second one that said "Fifteen years later...." Blah. Waste of time. I was hoping it would have dealt with the war and not the *yawn* prevention of it again.

Today I am cleaning up. I have Sophie and Hannah coming over to spend the day here, and half a day on Wednesday while they are on Christmas break. Then Friday I will head over to their place and hang out with them some more. I looked around the house and gathered a small pile of toys and art supplies they can play with if they get bored. I think we are going to make some Christmas cookies, walk Pluto and ...who knows what else. Kids are such fun.

I need to get a shopping list together tonight for a few things we need to pick up at Woodman's. On Wednesday we are going to do a little shopping for presents for Thursday at the Benninghoff palace. It seems like today is going so quickly.

Oh and I got the christmas party pictures! I am going to have to make some room, but I will have them up shortly. There are alot..

AND, it is really warm today. A whopping 45 degrees! I can see spots in the yard where Pluto is making a little dirt track. It was funny because he biffed it on the ground but got up and kept running. I had to give him a sponge bath when we got in. I also think I am teaching him how to catch things. I think. Lets see if lightening strikes twice. If it does, then we are on the road to learning a new trick.

Yesterday I proclaimed an all you can eat junk food holiday for myself and for Tim. We ate tons of great leftover party items and today I fear, I am suffering from a sugar high crash. Yes, indeed. I had a headache and the terrible muscle pain in my back has returned. Blah. There is only so much pain killers one can take before you wish you were rich and had a personal massage person to fix it. Not that I have ever had a massage, but I have the distinct feeling it is something I would like a lot.

Well, the party went okay. I hope everyone had fun, but unlike other years this one ended around 11:00. Oh there were some people that stayed but those were the relatives or the ones who were staying overnight, or showed up at 11:00. Which was great because then I really had a chance to talk and visit with them. Poor Callie and Jason, I felt bad that they drove that whole way for just an hour or two and missed everyone that they would have loved to talk with. On the other hand, I understand that many people were double booked for the night and in that case I am happy that they showed up. I just hope they had a good time. And it was good to see so many familiar faces again. I just wish I had more time to talk to them.

Now that it is done I don't have to worry about having another party for a long time. The fact that I had three in four in one year is pretty amazing. The farewell party, the bridal shower, Tim's birthday party and then the Christmas party. I think I am hosted out for awhile. It will be nice to just attend other parties and enjoy talking with people. I was sad that I didn't get to spend more time with Eric and Kate though. I miss them. :( I was bummed when after they left to go back to Chicago. Why can't they move here again? Or follow me around as I make big life decisions? Oh right, because they have their own life. I did however, use one of the little teacups I got as gift today to drink my decaf english breakfast. It was so cute! I wanted to get Pluto and the kitties and have a regular tea party.

I wrote letters to day. I could write some more except I felt that I started to get boring and so I am leaving the one I am working on for another time. Maybe tomorrow. I have this christmas paper that i can only use before Christmas, so I am anxious to use it up. I still have ten sheets left even though I managed to destroy four of them by spilling tea and doing a bad printing job for one of the completed letters. Bah.

Tim should be home any minute now, which will be a good thing because I am sick of hearing Pluto pace and whine as he waits for his all mighty master to step through the front door.

My realator stopped by today to drop off a housewarming gift. It is a small set of barbecue spatula's with a beer opener attached on the other end, and his name etched on the side. Kind of a funny thing really, but they were nicely done and it was the thought that counts. It will come in handy for the cook outs we are going to have next year. I am looking forward to that, to warm weather and burnt meat. Yum.

Christmas is still going on? Wow, I am totally out of the mood. I don't know where it went this year. I feel like I was bit by a humbug somewhere along the way. I wish I could have some of that old enthusiasm. I had it last year, I am sure of it.

No word from Edgewood yet. Maybe they made the decision that I couldn't make myself. That I didn't really want to work there. It didn't feel right. Perhaps something will come along, or perhaps I will just be happy with doing what I really want to do.

I have a ton of crafts to get done this week. If my back would stop hurting it wouldn't be a problem to just sit here and do it. I feel more like I want company to do it though, other than Tim's back and interferring cats and an annoyed dog.

Oh, there were tons of pictures taken. I will post them as soon as I get them all. What a gray day.

So after getting two Christmas cards last week, I was reminded that I was late this year. Well not late in the traditional sense, but in that I didn't do it the first week of December. It has been a busy few weeks, that is for sure. Uff. I finished most of them yesterday with the exception of a few which I plan to write a letter or send something, especially since they are long distance kinds of things.

It would appear that I am baby sitting tonight. Tim is going to pick the girls up afterwork, come over and pick me up, and go over to their house. Then I spent the night, the next day a service called Mr Mom drives the kids to school, and then I get ready for my interview with Edgewood College (Wednesday). Instead of coming home right away after 8:00, I think I will just stay there until I have to leave for the interview so that I am only on the bus twice. Yeah.... I wish I had sensible, good looking shoes (read boring) for this. Eh.

I have a gazillion letters to write. They have caught up with me....and it's not like I don't have anything to talk about. I always do... :) But lots of stuff has been rolling around in my head that I could write about...so this trip away from home will give me some time to catch up. I also need to work on the favors for the holiday party this Saturday.

I finished reading This Alien Shore by C S Friedman...I really enjoyed it, and the best part is I have three more recommendations from the Peterson clan to go through. It's been awhile since I have had a good book to read, and not just magazines or online material.

I really really liked Battlestar Galatica last night on SciFi. Tim and I spent a good time talking about cylons and their possible movitivations today, in regard to a bunch of the nerds at Epic saying "man vs. machine = yawn" and "Babylon Five is better". Idiots. Those nerds piss me off the most. They never like anything new until it has been validated by others. They never openly admit to liking something until they have heard others admit to it first. They think they are so different, and orginal and glory in their "nerd - dom" and being an outcast of society...when they uphold those rules even more to their own kind (only after it has been accepted by a sufficient number dorks). Fuckers. I have never said I was a nerd, thank god. I wouldn't want to be like one of them. And for the record, I have never thought of Tim as a nerd either.

But aside from that rant, Battlestar was great! Too bad I don't get to see the second part tonight because their isn't cable where I am going. :( Tim is going to have to tape it. Or, I could just go one and see when scifi is going to be showing it again. They can't help gloating and showing things over and over and over ....

It was strange.

My first white funeral....yet it it was my Cheweynie.... She was Ho Chunk. She spoke Ho Chunk with Gaga and Dad. I never knew what they were talking about, but wished I did. Even now, though I can't understand 99 percent of it, I can tell when someone is speaking Ho chunk. My Aunt. The classy one. The most beautiful in our family...now is gone. I almost wish I hadn't seen her, in her cardboard coffin covered by a white quilt with the furnace looming in the back. She had but only a few wisps of hair on her head and was wearing no makeup or glasses. This is not the Aunt I knew. She had long brown, waist length hair with glasses and was glamorous. Who was this stranger? I didn't know. I pretended I had never seen this...this...person in my life. This is not my aunt. Not the one that I remember. The one I knew had a mouth on her, was in a band, and was my good aunt. The good Cheweynie.

Although I have only been to one funeral in my adult life...that being my grandmother...the service was not what I wanted. Not that I have anything to do with it. But I know that it is not what my Dad or even my other Aunt wanted. I know that a four day feast is incomprehensible in this day and age, and since she was married to a white man (the best man you will ever know in interracial marriages)...I wished that at least one of my elders would have spoken for her. That they would have given her the prayer of the dead and guided her on her way to the afterlife. Yet...my clan does not do that. What my clan actually does other than being general royalty, I would like to know. So I sat. I watched as my family said nothing because it is not our place. Yet... Uncle AD was so brave...I talked to my cousin Allen (he's engaged!!), and asked him how AD was doing. He said he was doing okay, then I said..."It's because he is still busy." And he responded that he had't thought of that.

Oh god. If I had known. I would have seen them.

I am really starting to understand what my father feels. It does hurt. I thought I was stronger than this...but ... it does hurt. My cousins ( three in all) may understand...but they had family that was not around the indian way and thus the kids are more of "I am native american in a bit..." kind of way. They don't know much. But my Mom and my Dad made an effort that my brother's and I know. Even though we may not know the language...oh we know. Way more that I want to right now. More than my cousins know or will accept. What am I going to do with my kids? No, don't answer that. I know. It won't be the same. They will be...American. Which is why it hurts that she is gone. So few of us left.

I feel terrible that my kids, when they are older, they will admit in confidence to their friends or lovers that they are part Native American. The friends and lovers will be amused, or amazed. Yet...I know that my own children will not fully know. How can they? They will only be 1/4 Indian? It is hard enough for me...being 1/2 to justify myself, with my light skin and brown hair to other with a stereotype in mind (including other indians)...but what are my children going to do? Nothing. Which is why they will have the Benninghoff name. They won't deserve my name. Not if I want to be fair. They will know a little...more than the average joe, but in all? No.

I should go to bed. Move on. This is my own burden to bear.

I have to clean the house tomorrow. Thank god for those trundle beds. My Dad, his wife and my brother will arrive sometime around 6:00 tomorrow. My dad was recently bitten by a brown recluse spider...the same thing that bite Callie awhile back. Tim tells me that unlike other spiders that just paralizes with it's venem, this spider injects a necrotizing agent. That goes along with my Dad's bite because it killed all the cells around the bite and it got infected and he had to have some kind of expensive machine to keep a vacuum around it. He might have lost his leg if he hadn't gotten help when he did. Weird.

Anyway, they are showing up tomorrow so he can get some rest and keep off the leg and be ready for Friday. The viewing is at 12:00 to 2:00, then a service followed by a meal. This is my first non traditional funeral as an adult for me. I just have to be strong my family...especially my Dad.

Aunt Janice was one of two aunts that I had. Now I am done to one mean aunt (who used to be favorite) and an uncle I have never met on my Mom's side. I hope that my brothers and I, and Tim's siblings don't turn to this...to fighting (like my Dad is with my other Aunt Diana). It's terrible. I wonder if she will be there Friday. Janice was the aunt with flare and style and looked incredible. She had super long, straight hair, was incredibly beautiful and a party girl. The outfits she wore when she was younger seemed like she came straight out of a haute coutre magazine.

Well, I should go to bed. I have a lot to do tomorrow. Night.

I guess I am not so angry now. Just sad.

How could she? I can only assume that she knew and since she is a bitter mean old woman, she didn't tell my Dad. How could she? Maybe it happened so fast that there wasn't time... I hope to god that is it.

My step mom Barb called me this morning to tell me that Allen Sr (Uncle). had just called their house. He said that my Aunt Janice had been on life support and that they were taking her off today.

What? Today? Now? If I had only known. I would have visited her. We all would have. I didn't know her that great ... but I knew her. She was my aunt. The only woman in my dad's side of the family that characteristics to myself.

It was the cancer...I know it. I guess they didn't get it all. But how long has she been there at the hospital? How fast did this happen? Did Diana know??? I called Shane to find out....he was still out from last night. He is the only one that Diana still talks too...maybe he would know or could find out. It seems like the only time I ever call my Mom house and ask specifically for Shane, it is because I am the bearer of bad news. Just like my Dad becomes inable to tell me and has Barb do it.

My Dad is devastated. They had gotten along very well over the years.

She will probably have a white funeral, and I do want to go. Geez. How does this happen between brothers and sisters?

You will never know the joys of what I had written... I lost it all. Damnit. Damnit it all to heck.

Blah.

Now it is much shorter and more boring. Dangit. I need to go away for a moment, so I can write something a little more worthy.

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