It's the holiday hangover. You know, where so much stuff just happened in a relatively short amount of time and now that everything is done you just don't want to do anything. THAT.

Tonight though, we got a surprise gift from the Mother in Law. She offered to bring Morella and Athena's very awesome new wagon (grandparents), and slide (from Uncle Mark/Anutie Erica) because it wouldn't fit in our car on the drive home yesterday. Sure this was nice, but the real gift was when she offered to watch the kids while went out and did something. We briefly toyed with the idea of seeing Avatar, but it's a long movie and since Athena doesn't do bottles, it would have been a long time being separated from her. Let it also be stated that I would never leave Athena with anyone else but his mother because she has the chops to handle a little crying and take care of a two year old who loves her to bits. Seriously, we got a casual 'bye' as we left.

Our freedom in hand we went to Alchemy for a drink, the best onion rings in the world, and clementine cheesecake. Then we tried to two restaurants in search of oysters but both were closed. We ended up at the Brocach Irish Pub for more drinks and a platter of the best steamed mussels ever. It was a night out on the town with fine dining. We would have left 15 minutes sooner except our waitress who was assigned to our section who doesn't usually work our section gave us the wrong bill after charging our credit card. It was not the bill she initially gave us, and was for 50$ bucks more. After waiting for a small eternity I finally got up to go after her and Tim immediately ran ahead of me and told me to sit back down. You see, we would still be sitting there if I had waited for miracles to happen. I gotta remember to use my power of "getting things done" a little more often. I even told Tim I was going to be nice! Sheesh.

We came back to a hiccuping, head twitching from too much crying baby who was nothing but smiles, snuggles and giggles as soon as she was on my lap and in my arms. Awww! The other one went to bed without a problem.

Okay. That was a start. I broke the dry blogging spell.

I'm reading Stephen King's On Writing now in preparation for my new career in writing. Ha. Oh we all have to have our new years dreams, right?

As a reminder of Morella at 4 Months:







And then I did a recreation of Athena at 4ish Months in the dress with just a white tablecloth and my camera and this is what I got. Not as nice, but good enough for comparison. :D









Then I did some self portraits holding the camera over us.

Well, it happened. I can blame it on the Mommy brain, right? I committed a huge faux paus in Christmas cards. You see, I have been writing them in the odds and ends moments of the day when I am assured that Morella isn't running around with a towel over heard and smashing into things (poor kid) or when Athena isn't constantly grizzling. It was bound to happen. I should have just not even written anyone's names or a message and instead just signed our names at the end. You know, so many other people do it. I should do too. Especially when I accidentally wrote the name of the EX-GIRLFRIEND of a dude who just got married this past year to a woman with an entirely different name.

Of course he wrote to tell me that his wife wasn't very pleased.

Sigh. I suck.

Oh fudge.

I misread the instructions and interpreted 1 1/2 sticks of butter to be 1 1/2 cups...meaning I had twice as much butter. It looked greasy and crumbly. I reread the instructions and realized my error. I quickly threw in more sugar, a 1/2 a bag of vanilla chips (out of chocolate), about a cup of marshmallows and some more evaporated milk and stirred for about 8 minutes before dumping it into a big pan. It's smooth. We'll see how bad it is tomorrow.

But for now I am chocolated out. I had two cherry cordials, a piece of poor man's rocky road bars that I had made before that and ... uff. I can only think my body is trying to have a period. Four months? It took 9 months before I got my period back with Morella and the exclusive pumping. I am not ready to have a period yet. :P

I went out and bought a cool mist humidifier because Athena wasn't able to breath with her stuffed up nose tonight at Walgreens. It seems to be working as she is sound asleep. I hope it works for me too because I have been mouth breathing for the last three days and it's killer to wake up with a parched mouth.

I nearly froze my hands off in those puny little knit gloves. It's cold out there!

This lame post brought to you by a vicodin that has now kicked in because my back is killing me.

HO HO HO!

Morella, Athena and her little friends Bree and Noah all meet Santa for the first time.




Fore more pictures go here.

For watching her get big reference you can also look here while I get around to putting them on my gallery. ;)

I feel like my confidence as a Mommy today was shaken. The day was packed again as usual. It seems like so many days are packed at this time of the year. Athena was extra crabby last night and I gave up doing anything last evening and instead just went to bed at 9:00 with her. She woke up at 11:30 screaming like a 1000 banshees. Tim came in and held her for awhile and bounced until she calmed down enough to nurse back to sleep. About a 1/2 an hour after that Morella started screaming and Tim had to go in and sleep in her room. Every time he tried to leave she would start up. These days aren't every night but I sure feel like they are becoming more frequent.

Athena had her 4 month well baby check today at 1:30. Right in the middle of nap time. Having anything going on during a regular nap time just makes me sick to the stomach but instead of cancelling I dropped her off at Ann's who was willing to risk it and keep her own kid up as well. I had everyone bundled up and out the door by 12 and stopped at Walgreens to get our holiday photos and look around for a few minutes. I had gotten a bunch of photo cards at a garage sale last year and planned to put the photos in those, but later on when I got home and tried it out, I realized that it cut off our heads and the Holiday Greeting at the top. Oh well. I found some other misc cards and am using those up.

After Walgreens and because the roads were so bad I made it to Ann's at 1 to just drop off Morella and leave. Then I stopped by and dropped off some formula samples and outgrown diapers to a relatively new Mom before heading off to Athena's appointment. I made it in just in time and she was seen right away. She weighs 15.5 pounds and is 26 inches long. While she is 85% for height and weight, she is actually about 50% in weight for height meaning she is perfectly average. :) She got her shots and I nursed her before leaving. I stopped at Willie Street Coop to buy something quick for dinner -- pocket samosa's and asian noodles. She fell asleep on the way to pick up Morella and stayed asleep as I decided to stay for awhile and visit.

At 4 we left to go home because Athena woke up and Morella was melting down. We get home and just as I pulled into the driveway I realized I locked ourselves out. Great on the coldest day of the year so far. :( I called Tim and told him I would be on my way to pick up his keys.

This always happens on the first really cold day of the year where I have to go out and warm up the car and then get kids out into the weather. Traffic was a nightmare on the way there and Morella woke up and was very upset that I wasn't taking her inside to her bed. She calmed down when I said we were going to see Daddy though and went back to sleep. Thank god. If only Athena had followed suit. Instead I got to hear her cry for the next 50 minutes it took to get to Tim's work and home.

Got home at 5:15 and brought a wailing Morella inside and unbundled and put her to bed with the door open. I then fed Athena in the living room while Morella readjusted and woke up a bit. Then Tim came home about 15 minutes later from his biking commute. I was so exhausted at this point.

Tim then got his gear and left at 6:00 for his weekly gaming session just in time for Karen the Mother's Helper to show up and help for an hour. She entertained Morella while I gave Athena a good nursing session. She was in good spirits but was tired. She went down for about a 1/2 an hour while I helped get Morella ready for bed. Karen left at 7:00, I put Morella down by 7:10 but she started howling. I comprimised and left the door open a crack only to hear her say "mommy...mommy" over and over forever while I nursed Athena who had woken back up and was very upset. I gave Athena some tylenol and then held her close and nursed her until she feel asleep. By then it was 7:45 and Morella was still up. I went in there and said it was time to sleep. I retucked her in, kissed her and said good night and closed the door. Morella then started throwing the hugest tantrum ever for the next 15 minutes. I swear she was going to pass out from the screaming and kicking and wailing and what have you.

At 8:05 I opened her door and got her. I didn't take her out of her sleeping sack but instead deposited her in front of the TV on the couch and proceeded to work on Christmas cards while watching a terrible movie with Sabrina the Teenage Witch and Mario Lopez. Morella dinked around for awhile, walking in her sleep sack and even running! Geez. Here I thought she was immobile in that too.

Finally at 9:20 she seemed tired enough to put back to bed which is where she is now with no tantrum. Thank god. I went downstairs and got a beer and am now typing this up and hoping that Athena stays asleep for a little while longer.

I worry that I am setting her up to having terrible night time routines by letting nights like this happen. I worry that Athena will never go to sleep on her own and will always need me to nurse her down. I know that in two years bedtime will probably seem like a piece of cake when Morella and Athena go to bed at the same time in the same room, but for now, since I can't read the future I just don't know.

Days like this prevent me from wanting to leave the house the next day, you know? I need tomorrow to be normal so that I can clean up the huge bombs and messes that Morella has made from being cooped up inside, to bake, wrap presents, and send out Christmas cards. I love sending out cards -- it's one of my favorite things to do in the holiday season and it's already December 10th and I haven't sent a single one out.

Anyway. Karen isn't going to come next week but instead will come for two days in a row the 22 and 23rd for four hours each day. I will have to pack, wrap gifts (If I haven't by then) and blah blah blah. It will be much appreciated.

Okay, now that I have gotten a typical day off my chest I am going to use the time remaining to clean up a little. Because cleaning makes me feel like I have some iota of control over this chaos, even if it's all erased the next day.

Morella didn't take a nap again today. Athena had some good naps throughout the day and I managed to get her down by 8:30 tonight. Awesome. My sunny outlook was almost foiled a few times today but in the end I prevailed. It helps to try and focus on why I am getting upset or whatever and really, what do I want to do that is so important anyway?

I have some kind of sinus issue though because a few times when I bent down to pick something up I felt like I got punched inside my face. I don't *feel* stuffed up or anything though. Weird.

I made spritz cookies today and fired the spritz cookie press. I made a few of them in shapes and ended up just rolling little balls and pressing them down in the end. I also made them with almond flavoring instead of vanilla. Would someone who is allergic to nuts be allergic to pure almond extract?

I also made a batch of oatmeal/cranberry/vanilla chip cookies and froze them. Same with the russian tea cakes, and soon the spritz will join that fate.

I put plastic on Morella's window and juryrigged curtains since she has blinds and there is no way that I am going to have them down and her room dark for the whole winter. It's held up with safety pins for now...but that will work. I'll finish them sometime down the road when I can unearth my sewing machine from the desk somewhere in my room.

While I was doing that, Tim gave the girls a bath. Awesome. They are good for the week! Athena loved to splash and kick and even got Morella going -- a little too vigorously.

I got a Christmas present early yesterday. New winter boots! OH that reminds me that I forgot mention Mom's night out on Monday. Was that yesterday? Sigh. That was only yesterday. Further proof that I really just need a whole Mom's Week Out. I took Athena with me and she was so well behaved. I was really proud of my little kerfluff. I got meat filled ravioli, a porta salad and a chocolate nemesis dessert. I ate it all and felt find when I left but by the time I got home I realized I was over full and just wanted to sleep. Which I did, and it was very awesome except for the Athena waking to eat 5 times during the night. It was every hour from 3-7. If I wasn't cosleeping with her I don't know how I would manage to function the next day.

Oh it's late. I should go to bed. Tim and I are talking about boarding Pluto for Christmas. The first time we would be doing that, but we are out of dog swapping options.

In our first installation of St. Nick's Day I wrapped Morella a deck of Holographic dog cards, a candy cane and a big foam dice in Kleenex and placed them on her shoes. She was very excited about the dog cards and even more excited about the two stupid cats in the deck that act the part of jokers. I *knew* I should have gotten the cat deck. :P Anyway. The candy lane lays on the floor by the door where her shoes were, as does the foam dice. We didn't get Athena anything because you have to be able to wear shoes to participate.

Yeah we are mean like that. Whatever. They are mean too. Athena hasn't been sleeping more than 30 minutes at a time and has been a bear to put to bed at night. Okay, she's not at total bear but she won't go down easily. I'd like to blame sleep regression at 4 months but come on, they are still working the whole thing. Four months isn't that old. Even though it does seem kind of old when you think that in two months she is going to be eating people food and maybe sitting on her own. Yikes!

Morella is definitely in the "trying two's." There was a moment today where Tim and I were fighting, both kids were crying, I was ready to walk out the door and then I had a moment of clarity. They are just kids. Little kids at that. Why was I getting so upset? Because I wasn't getting the time I wanted on the computer to futz with our holiday family photo, and because they weren't doing what I wanted them to -- sleep? Morella's nap was only 45 minutes and of course Athena was howling after just 30 minutes for me to get her. As soon as I realized that I should just let go and embrace (cheesy as it sounds) the "now" then I all of a sudden felt much better. Maybe these important projects will get done or maybe not. But I can feel crabby about not getting me time while at work or I can just accept that the kids are crying and need me and it's my job to make it all better. Or at least try. Either way the projects won't get done because I am taking care of little ones who are still pretty demanding and time intensive.

After that, the rest of the day went much better. I think it's the happiest I have been all week! What a relief. I even managed to bake the Russian Tea cakes tonight, and go to the grocery store. Tim asked me if I was going to go just as I was preheating the oven after putting Athena down for a third time (she just need a pat on the chest) and then went on about the snow. It's coming after midnight and is going to be pretty much nonstop until Thursday morning. By the end of the week we should have a foot of snow, or so the weatherpeople would have us believe. A dire warning such as this cannot be ignored! I immediately donned my coat and headed out to the grocery store still wearing my pajamas's and an awful fleece snow themed, grandma type top that was thankfully covered up by my coat.

I personally dislike seeing folks wearing pajamas's at the store because they are usually skulky teens. I just sort of hoped that no one would notice and better yet no one would know me. Just my luck as I was looking in the soup aisle for cream of chicken that a man says to me "You are wearing pajamas's."

"Uh yeah..." I shuffle forward embarrassed. At least I put real shoes on! "It's supposed to start snowing so my husband asked me to go out and stock up on the essentials."

"I like pajamas" he replied. "They are cute. Hey Linda, aren't those pajamas's cute?" He asked his african american wife suitably dressed in a long coat and real pants.

"Hm?" she asked. "Oh yes, they are nice."

"UH thanks," I said and threw in six cans of cream of chicken.

I don't think I'll be wearing pajamas's to the grocery store anymore. Even if it's on Sunday, no one is there and we are on the brink of a snowpocalypse.

Morella had another night terror this morning at 5:00 ish. I sent Tim to handle it but he was way to grumpy and tired to do so. I guess that's an after effect of us staying up past midnight like we are some plucky college students. :P I went in there and held her until she stopped crying, then put her down and sat there for a long time rubbing her back before moving to the trundle bed and settling down. We all fell sleep for another hour and half or so. I had a nightmare during that time of taking Morella to school in Baraboo. I awoke by hearing Athena cry. I wondered why Tim had taken her away from me to another room and was confused as to where I was when I woke up. It's been awhile since that happened.

I'm feeling the effects of diminished sunlight. I have been feeling blue, lack luster and just no zip. I mean, it's probably a bunch of things -- someone being sick almost every single freaking day for November, Thanksgiving, Morella's birthday, the cold and how much of a pain in the ass it is to take out two little kids who don't like to be bundled up. Also maybe Athena not going down easily until 9:30 or so really makes it so that I have like an hour before I should go to bed. Lame.

The cure to the blues of course, is to get outside more often, get exercise, eat right and do some hobbies. None of which really seem feasible with the current situation. The only exercise I feel like I get is during Imagination Movers in the morning dancing with Morella "Turn around Turn around Turn around. We're working hard and having fun, we celebrate when the day is done...."

Oh that Warehouse Mouse ... he's a hoot. You gotta love American Children's programming. See, unlike the Wiggles, the Mover actually have a job. A work ethic, and according to Tim "They play better, non condescending music...

Oh geez, Athena is fussing. Probably has another full diaper and wants something to eat. Another day of changing diapers begins. BUT at least the living room is clean today! I cleaned last night after pulling myself up by my bootstraps.

I could use some pancakes.

I just went through all my November pictures and there was a crapton of them. I foresee some themed photo posts coming up.

Also an update on this afternoon. I got her out of her room as soon as she stopped howling for a few seconds. I acted like nothing was wrong and suggested lunch, which we then had. Then after that she played for about a 1/2 an hour before Athena got upset and wanted to take a nap and then I declared it naptime for everyone. I can do that because I am Mayor of Naptown in these parts.

I need to make an icon out of this entitled "Whoa" Not that it really needs one.

Big candy cane vs little girl

"Yo! Come here!" --- Wolf whistle ensues.

What the fuck. How can we be doing something fun ten minutes ago and then all of a sudden get a crying puddle who is completely unreasonable? I mean it was like switch flipped and all of a sudden she was sobbing about water. I think. Or maybe eating. Or sleeping. Or the light. Or going downstairs (which I do not want to do while there is sunny daylight to be enjoying upstairs). I put her to bed, covered her up and am giving her five minutes. This is different than a time out, though maybe it really should have been a time out right? I don't know. Where is my handbook? Better yet where my relief so I can go outside and take a walk.

Why do they have to be like this? WHY!?! I know it's developmentally necessary but it's so, so very obnoxious.