Friday Photos: Last Week of October

Birthday Boy Cullen dives into his birthday cup cake while the "Papa"-rattzi look on. (har har)

Baby Moslee and her Momma. She was so stinking cute in those little tights and red skirt.

Recital audience members. We were packed into our garage because it was really windy outside.

Oliver playing the violin. He volunteered to go first and try to ease Tim's worries. He did a fantastic job -- I think he was born to be on stage. ;)

Morella this morning. She likes to eat and and stand on one foot. She's an amazingly talented little baby.

Morella Bomb

It's been a rough couple of days. Starting after her morning bottle on Sunday, Morella has gone on strike. No more bottles. None. Nada. Don't even go near her with a bottle or she will melt down. Subsequently, she has only had the following countable ounces of liquid:

Sunday: 10 oz
Monday: 8 oz
Tuesday: 5 oz

During this process I fired my former pediatrician -- she was a way for a funeral and I was stuck with the incompetent staff and other pediatrician who just wrote a nurse for the worst mumbley nurse ever to recite back to me -- none of which actually helped me. I was feeling overwhelmed, alone and lost and then yesterday it occurred to me that there are other pediatricians -- like at a different location for example. So I called our insurance and switched pediatricians effective immediately for the Capitol location. You know, it's actually closer to me too. I had stayed with the East side because that was were my OB was, and I thought it would be easier. Pft.

The new pediatrician's nurse is already much better. She talked to me yesterday about signs to watch for -- no wet diaper in 6-8 diapers, lack of tears, and if she drank less than 10 ounces again to give them a call today and maybe they can squeeze her in for a dehydration evaluation. Since Morella drank less than 5 ounces yesterday I called her. She now has an appointment today at 3:45PM.

The bright side to this, is that I get to meet her new pediatrician and decide if I like her with enough time to still switch insurance companies by their deadline of November 12th. Hopefully I won't have to do that. I already feel like she cares more about Morella and I than the cold, dispassionate people at the East side location.

In the mean time, I still am offering her a thick bottle of milk AND apple juice at eating times, and in between I am chasing after her with a medium flow sippy cup of unthickened watered down juice, and a medium flow sippy cup of unthickened breastmilk. I know, I know -- this totally goes against the specialist recommendation of her not having ANY unthickened liquids based on her 4 month evaluation -- but it's the only thing she will drink! What am I supposed to do? For the record, she is able to drink it just fine, when she does. No choking at all.

The bright side of this whole fiasco, is that Morella is making up for this missed calories in the breastmilk by eating. Oh boy is she eating. She is eating like ... well a kid and not at all like the picky nibbler she was two weeks ago. Since she is not drinking, I have been trying to give her as many water rich things as possible like pears halves, peaches and peeled, quartered grapes. It's still best to give her foods that she can feed herself because she gets really mad if you go near her face with a spoon more than once or twice.

In fact, I need to go and buy more grapes today if this strike continues for much longer.

Overall, I am trying to remain hopeful today. I have a mini mantra going of "Babies are very resilient...she will still live." For the record, right now I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am beginning to believe she will never drink a bottle again, that she will never drink breastmilk again, she will take only minimal amounts of liquid for the rest of her life. Be a camel. Get all her liquids from food.

In other news, I am making Morella a fleece sleep sack. Those thin cotton ones just don't seem like they are going to cut it this winter, and her room is like the second coldest room in the house (the kitchen holds that honor), but it is right next to it. I wonder if it's because it leeches warmth from her room? Hm. I just have to sew on a zipper I cut off from an old hoodie.

I roasted a bunch of pumpkin seeds yesterday. I need to remember to bring them over to Laima's, along with her crock pots before I eat them all.

I am switching summer clothes over to winter clothes. Good bye summer clothes, I hope to see you again soon before long. Hello boring, heavy winter clothes. I wish I could say I was excited to see you again, but I am not.

Election day is a week away! We are going to have a new president soon...I hope it's the good one. I hope everyone votes. It really pisses me off that I potentially know women especially who don't vote. Every time a woman doesn't vote they are disrespecting the sacrifice and hard work of their ancestors, taking away their own liberties and perpetuating inequality between men and women. The same thing applies if you are a minority. Since I am both, I consider it doubly important to cast my ballot every time I am presented with the opportunity.

Pictures will come later, but the party was a success! No one was seriously hurt, the right amount of food and drink was made and consumed, the recital was a hit and the pumpkins were carved --or at the very least toted off as a party favor.

We had Hilary, Jason, Mina, Leta, Cullen, Sarah, Dave, Ruth, Kathy, Cody, Amy, Rhyse, Dane, Jen, Ben, Tristan, Nat, Sarah, Luke, Zeland, Moslee, Sharon, Rev Tim, Sigrid, Heather, Matt, Angie, Zoey, Alora, Ann, Peter, Noah, Emily, Peter, Leo, Stepanie, Alison, Oliver, Laima, Leif, Rowan, and Rebekah = 42, add me, Tim and Morella and you get a grand total of 45 folks! Dang!!

I'd have to say that it was one of the more less stressful parties that we have thrown. I wonder if it is because we are getting better at it? Or because it was more low key. I swear, going by the mantra of "channel Kathleen" is really working. For those of you just joining, while we were in LA this summer on vacation, the friend we were staying with Kathleen (and Chuck) had people over for dinner one Thursday night. She just invited people over, baked some chicken and had folks bring over a dish. The party was a fun and I was so impressed at how she did it with such a low level of stress. She said 'No one cares about the food, they just want a reason to hang out." She is right and so when I want to start obbessing over details I just remember "It's a reason to visit and commune....it will be okay." And it was!

Morella had a blast! She was in baby heaven hanging around so many people and other babies. In fact, she was in such heaven that she didn't want to return the realm of us mortals and EAT. Gah. She had breakfast, a bottle and then took a glorious two hour nap while we finished up getting ready. She then had a lunch of cheese and crackers, had a sip or two of a bottle and that was it. She didn't want anymore. She wouldn't take her bottle at 2, or at 4 or at 6 or at bedtime. She just would chew on the nipple and then pus it away and cry. I finally got desperate enough to put the milk into a sippy cup and then she had a few drinks before more protests. Later, after everyone left Tim's parents had forgot to drop off Rhubarb. So Tim had to drive to Sun Prairie to meet them and pick it up. I had him take Morella because she was so tired and wound up. I figured it would take longe than it did -- and hoped she would take a nap during that. Meanwhile I stayed home and pumped because I hadn't done a noon pump at all. When he got home she woke up again, and after howling in her crib for 15 minutes, gave her a bath and got her dressed for bed. I read her stories and tried to offer the bottle and sippy cup again (no deal) and just sat quietly with her. She keep listening, and looking around, and listen for more activity. I have never seen her refuse the bottle this much. Finally, after sitting for 40 minutes reading books, singing songs and just chilling she was able to wind down enough to go to sleep. Man, I hope she makes up for not eating/drinking that much today. Scratch that, she did eat....she actually ate a whole sliver of pumpkin pie - the filling not the crust, and a lot of goldfish and several sips from the sippy cup. So maybe she did have enough to eat and drink. Hm. One thing is for sure, the party sure as heck wound her up!

Still, I think she will have a birthday party -- it's her first, you gotta have a party for the first! I think we are just going to order pizza though for it. Then I can focus on decorating, goodie bags invitations and what not. Yeah....

Did I mention that I got her a walker that converts into a little car type thing? I did. I was buying a birthday gift for Cullen (her first party on Saturday) and whenever I buy a gift for someone else I end up getting something for her! It's not that often, and since we hardly ever get hr anything, PLUS I had been looking for that exact thing for the last two months at garage sales with nothing, I figured why not. The deal was sealed when I saw that it was on sale for 7 dollars less than the orginal price. It was a like a sign from heaven that said "Get this now, because she won't need it by the time spring is here and garage sales are in full swing again." It would figure that her little friend Noah liked it more.

Tim's recital went well. He was nervous. Very nervous. But he managed to pull it together and get up in front of an audience packed into our garage to play a few pieces along with our friend Oliver who also did a very nice violin set (boy I wish I could play the violin like him!). My orginal idea was to do it outside but it was so windy today that it wasn't possible -- as was the fire. It was sort of a bummer, but I don't think anyone really missed it. I thought it was a nice touch on the party to have some live music, and Tim is extremely glad that it's over (until the next recital...ha ha...no just kidding. Kind of. No really, I don't have a deal set for him to commit....yet.....no wait, he gonna play Happy Birthday for Morella at her birthday...so that is something!).

That said, I don't think I am going to do a big Christmas party this year. I might do something with a few close friends...but nothing extravagent. I feel like the Fall party and the 1st Birthday party are going to take that up. Maybe my friend Jen or Sarah should have a cookie party that we can attend to gear up for Xmas...(hint hint). It would give us a reason to go up north so that Morella can visit her grandparents and I can see my friends....

We have a lot of pumpkins left, and a lot of seeds to roast. Yum. I guess I'm going to be carving this week...OR giving pumpkins away. Ha ha.

Okay. Time to use the john, pump and play some scramble.

11 Months!

For some reason I thought Morella's 11 months was going to be tomorrow. Imagine my shock when I looked at the ticker to see she was 11 months today. No way! One month to go and my wee girl will be a wee one year old! That is just nutz.

I need to work on my 11 month update for Morella to write in her journal.

Hilary was over this morning with Cullen and Morella ate a bunch! Well it was nothing to the vacuum that is Cullen, but I was pretty impressed with it. Maybe all that extra food will help her nap be good and long and have her not wake up hungry. She went down minutes after they left. She was pretty tired yesterday, took a three hour nap in the afternoon and went to bed early without eating her last bottle.

It was nice to have Hilary over. Gives me a little extra oompf to make the house more homey and comfortable like hers is. Now to get crackin.

Happy 11 months Morella! It just flew on by.

What a day. Ugh. I am glad it's almost over. Just have to pump and then to bed with me. When I finally got home, I sat on my bed for an hour and just worked on my rag rug so that I could relax. Thankfully, it did the job. I felt much better afterward.

This morning the new comer shindig at Cool Beans was small but pleasant. Morella was the youngest person there, and she got the comment of "She's so tiny!" She followed that up with "I guess my kids were always so big." Yeah. I just agreed. She is small. But so full of personality! I got the endless cup and had two small mugs of regular coffee and one mug of decaf. I almost wanted more but the coffee was particularly strong and I was dangerously close to feeling that kind of sick jittery feeling. It was kind of surreal because of the four other women who showed up, three of them were expecting all within a month of each other. Sheesh!

After that Morella and I stopped at Trek to buy Tim some new biking gloves since his other ones are totally blown out. I also splurged and got him a headband -- you know it's slim and will stay on his head under the helmet and maybe allow for wearing a hat. Now is the best time to buy biking gloves because they are usually on clearance.

Then we came home where she barely ate any lunch, had a bottle and then took a three hour nap. That was great, except today I made plans with Cecci to go to a Schuster's Playtime Farm to buy pumpkins for the party on Sunday. Since I was going to be driving outside of Madison I felt I needed a little extra company, and the help wouldn't hurt at all. Plus, I thought it would be kind of fun to do that with someone other than Morella. She was game, so I picked her up finally at 3:30 (a 1/2 hour later, though I did keep her apprised with phone calls) and we headed out.

We got the farm, opened the car door .... and hello dolly! It was windy and COLD! I mean really, really windy. If Morella knew how to walk she would have been blown over. The sky was even more overcast, we were the only ones there for about 10 minutes before our curse kicked in and like 6 other cars full of people showed up. I was glad that I brought along Morella's puffy vest to go over her hoodie but I was really disappointed I couldn't find her gloves anywhere. Then again, I didn't think it would be that cold. It was the difference of like 20 degrees from when I left Madison to when I got there. Plus they are on top of a hill....so....

I decided to take a bunch of pictures of Morella posing around in the typical pumpkin farm patch. Then we loaded her, and a few other pumpkins up in a wagon and went out into the field to find the right size of pumpkins that we needed. Oh my, did she have fun. She had the biggest grin on her face as she rode in the wagon, going over bumps, looking around -- that is until her hands turned blue and her nose got all red. Poor dear was cold! Cecci had a pair of fingerless gloves that she sacrficed for Morella to wear, and then I carried her to keep her warm and out of the wind as much as possible.

Finally we got our 35 pumpkins and two squash, and pumpkin for the front stoop and headed out. I paid and then we went to load the pumpkins in the car. Cecci put Morella in her carseat unstrapped so I could do it. I put down my purse on the ground behind the car and went to attend to Morella because she has started crying. Cecci finished loading the pumpkins and then at that point I had tucked in Morella with a blanket, put some cheerios on it, a book and her juice sippy and we headed out.

I was extremely proud of myself for finding my way home all by myself. I called Tim to see if he was home yet so I could just drop Morella off so she could eat and get a change of diaper. He was still at work, so I asked Cecci if it was okay to stop at home for a little bit before going to her place. I figured that Morella could crawl around there and take a look at her bunny. I parked the car, reached for my purse .... and sickenly realized I had forgot to pick it up before we left.

"My camera!" I nearly cried "My camera was in my bag and I probably ran over it."

Cecci assured me that probably wasn't the case and to just call. I called and called an finally found another number to call and got through to someone. They said they did find my purse, and in fact has almost run over it themselves. My camera was intact, as was the rest of my things.

Relief.

I changed Morella's diaper and ended up changing her whole outfit because she had out maneuvered me and stood up to look out the window and peed all overself. I threw her in a pair of jammies since her feet were still cold, then gave her some gold fish while her bottle warmed up and then feed her that. I know we didn't do the proper dinner, but it was past her eating time and I needed to get out of there so I could drive back and get my bag. She downed the entire bottle and was such a giggly, happy little girl that I was melting all over the place. Tim got home at that point, and the last I saw of Morella today was her with a big grin, just happy to be alive and crawling around the floor. Oh my sweet child.

Cecci and I got a bit lost trying to find our way back, buy my camera instinct kicked in and lead me in the right direction. The indeed had my bag, and all of it's innards and I was so happy I hugged them!

Drove back. By now I was starving and I felt Cecci needed a proper thank you for getting wrestled into my crazy scenarios and so we ended up at Monty's Blue Plate for a dinner on me. Cecci really knows how to make a person feel better --- oh man some of the stories she has....precious.

There you have it. I almost lost my camera -- oh yeah and the contents of my one of a kind purse that my Dad made especially for me. What a day. I needed that hour of mindless sewing to calm down and not feel like throwing up. It's amazing what adrenaline does to the body.

The Lion and the Frog

I was going through some pictures -- working on Friday photos and just HAD to share this one. Sadly, I did not take it... Jason Samsa did -- but it was with my camera so I feel like I should have some credit. Heh.

EDIT: One more!

TIDBITS!

It's been awhile and I need to get back into the blog swing of things. The easiest way to do that of course is to do a tidbit session.

• A big thank you to Laima for the apple cups she left on our stoop this morning. I discovered them around lunch time...and four of them ended up being lunch. I was glad I was able to restrain myself and save Tim two. :D
• It's amazing how much messier the kitchen is when you stick a kid to eating three times a day plus snacks. Though for her snacks I have been giving them to her in her exersaucer --- she just pulls herself up and helps herself. I try to remember to give her pieces of whatever she is eating frequently because I think she gets bored by eating. On the upside, she does seem to be eating a lot more than she was before. There are some days (like today) where it isn't as much as I would like, but just gotta keep going going.
• Plans for the party this weekend are coming along. I still need to find pumpkins. Stupid me didn't buy the mini pumpkins at Woodman's when they had them two weeks ago. I thought "Wait..." Now I think I have waited too long and they are gone and I need to go to a pumpkin patch. I was thinking this Saturday would be a good day but Tim tells me it's going to rain. I might have to figure out how to go to one myself this week...oh that will be an adventure. The rest of it though, I think I'll start cooking for it on Friday. Yeah...both regular chili and vegan chili (which looks awesome from a bonafide awesome cook friend of mine).
• Tomorrow I am going to a newcomers meet and greet at Cool Beans for the East Side Mom's club. I'll let you know how that goes.
• Monday baby book was great -- it was packed with wonderful kids and it was such a hoot to watch Morella crawl around and be interactive ... though her heading out of the room twice into the main library wasn't that great. She really really wanted to get some CD's. That was a good reminder to play more music in the day. She loves music.
• Overall, I have been working on Fall cleaning the house and getting rid of clutter and making it ready for a long winter. Plus, I am starting to be sold on the idea that the less there is, the easier it is to clean up. Or at least, I am working on getting more organized -- for the same reason. It's keeping me busy.
• Thanks to Hilary -- I have started another rag rug. This time I will do better. I am working on using old t-shirts. It's kind of fun to have another project .... ha ha like the cross-stitch, handmade cards for Morella's 1st birthday party, making shoes, and Fall party planning arent' enough. :P
• I started reading again -- right now I am working on a collection of science fiction stories I got from a garage sale two years ago. It's nice to read. I need to keep making time for it -- not just reading magazines. Those I do manage to read in the bathroom. :)
• I am dropping a pump. I am now pumping three times a day. I am not so panicked about it as I was two months ago. I mean, Morella is one monthish away from a year...and that is when she can theoretically go on cow's milk. I plan on a morning pump, a midday pump and the last pump around 9 - so that I can go to bed by 10. Oh man...what a sweet concept. More sleep. Less stress....about the evening pump...I am starting to feel like a chapter might be closing. I wonder how much my supply will drop. Will I be able to sustain Morella...her dropping a bottle really has helped.
• Her reflux is getting better. Did I just say that? My god I did! Hurray!!!
• We stopped giving her the randitine. She seems to have adjusted just fine. We are still keeping her on the prevacid because she still gets kind of urpy by the end of the day.
• We got flu shots on Monday. She is going to need a second shot in a month. I am thinking about switching our health care plan to Dean. I just don't know...they are closer. I might like the doctors better. They have the same infertility coverage, they don't need referrals for everything...gah. I should just do it. Well, at least look into it more. I have until November 14th to decide.
• In the meantime I need to get reimbursed the $200 for CSA vegetables. I should do that tomorrow. That's free money just waiting for me to take it. Money that could pay for Tim's birthday present (whatever that is next month...Hm. I have a short list).
• I am so hungry right now. I should just make her bottle and go to bed though.
• Holy cow! Tim just cleaned up the kitchen! What a wonderful husband! I needed that help this week -- you know trying to clean the house for a party and all and having a little baby mess it up as she goes.
• Hilary is coming by Thursday morning with breakfast. I am really looking forward to that, especially since Morella is dropping her morning nap. It keeps things interesting.

Friday Photos: 3rd Week of October
(These are being posted late because my post on Friday was interrupted by a two foot bossy baby).

Morella and her Daddy at Shrimp Swim class.

Morella is the only one who wears a swim shirt over her suit which we think makes her warmer and more chic than the other babies. This was the smallest class yet. It amazes me how people pay for these classes and then by the end the attendance is always less than half. I guess, its their money that they are wasting -- not mine.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE her expression in this photo. It so clearly captures her thoughts and feelings on swimming in general. It's also a classic example of "little face big head." Gah, where did she get those cheeks from?!

Thursday we met up with Ann and Noah on one of the most beautiful fall days yet to go to the zoo. We went in the afternoon, and aside from a little lion on lioness action (the lioness btw apparently had a headache) it was pretty slow. Most of the animals seemed to be taking a nap. I think we spent a good portion of time by the baby giraffe (see in background posing for the camera).

Morella pointing to the giraffe. She is still very much into her pointing phase. In fact, when we get her from the crib the first thing she does is point to something in her room and expects us to answer her point. It's kind of cute. The sweater was handmade from my friend Amy -- but I noticed a drawback is that it tends to attract bees!

Inside the monkey house -- looking at monkeys.

They are so cute. We left after this to go to Trader Joes to buy some dinner and do a little shopping. Ann had never gone shopping together as "let's do something activity"! Ha ha...I guess I've hung out with Hilary too much. I mean, heck we used to do that all time. Even now, Tim and I go to Copps every now and then for something fun to do. Don't all people go to the grocery store for fun?

Ugh.

Morella has had a tough night settling. I got her up after the first 30 minutes and offered her more milk (she didn't want any), and rocked with her while we watched part of the debate. Tim is off at the Inferno for a debate party. I'm glad that it was an interesting debate for him and other folks to holler. Then I put her down and she cried some more. So I got her up, checked her diaper, and then gave her tylenol, and cleared out some black boogers thinking maybe she couldn't breath? I mean really, it's amazing what I end up thinking might be the root cause of her not sleeping like the angel she usually is. I walked her around, listened to some music and she was calm again, that is until I said "Are you feeling better? Do you want to go back to bed?" and she started to cry again! Holy cow, I think she is starting to understand me! That's crazy!

It was totally reminiscent of the early days. The difference being this time, apparently she can understand me and second, she is getting heavy! My arms felt like noodles by the time I decided to put her down again and let her CIO for 15 minutes. She lasted 10 and then went to sleep, but did wake up crying after one sleep cycle (30 min later), but put herself back to sleep after a crying jag here and there ten minutes later. *crosses fingers*

Sometimes, like tonight, it feels like I should be doing so much more. I should be tackling parts of the house and organizing and getting rid of clutter and cleaning things before the long winter arrives, but when she goes to bed I sort of turn off. Maybe I am not giving myself enough credit for how hard it is to take care of an active baby all day while running a household. I mean, I need downtime too and the evening is usually when I get it. I end up reading, watching TV or movies, surfing the net, pumping and picking up the toys and what not for it all to be done again tomorrow.

Hold on Tim's back...will finish in about 15 when I am pumping.

---Next day ----

Obviously this post didn't get finished then. Instead we talked about how the debate went, who was at the Inferno (it was just a get out the vote sort of gathering than a real party) and I talked about how at night I just kind of turn off. Tim said something to the effect of "So don't worry about it." To which I replied "But if I don't do it then it won't get done. Nothing will ever get done!"

Then he washed bottles and cleaned off Morella's high chair for me. That is the newest chore I'm totally not a fan off.

Back to that. Now it's almost two full days of doing this new routine and ...*drumroll please* ....
She is eating. That's right. She is eating more than I have ever seen her eat before. Breakfast still needs some work. I think I might take Sarah's comment to heart when she said that they get some milk before eating...but we'll wait out the two weeks before we make any changes. It's kind of hard for me to stick something through that long because if it doesn't work right away I always want to fix it, change it, try another approach. Sometimes the best approach is to wait and see.

I am just amazed at how much she is eating. How actively she is putting things in her mouth, how she does it with such gusto -- and twenty minutes is about right. In fact it goes by rather quickly. The other night she shoveled in mac and cheese, last night it was rice and shredded cheese, for lunch it was more rice and shredded cheese with some banana chunks rolled in crushed graham cracker. Yesterday for lunch she ate banana with relish. Could it really have been that simple as she was just ... full?

I'm not gonna beat myself up over this. It's hard to adjust to this new routine because there are a million questions and what if scenarios. For example, the blasted sippy cup. She won't drink thickened milk from the cup. She will however sip some watered down juice from the sippy cup, actively hold it, work on it.

My thoughts are as such:

Does this mean she only wants milk from a bottle? Is it because it's too thick? If she keeps drinking watered down juice am I risking her health? She doesn't choke on it anymore. Sure there is the occasional cough, like any kid would do from drinking from a sippy cup. Like Cullen did the other day when I was visiting Hilary and he drank from the cup. It's a learning curve. 95% of the time she is fine. Or is all silent and she only silently is choking from watered down juice? Even though she isn't choking any more on the bottles? Again except for the occasional 'down the wrong pipe' which happens to the best of us. Should I try milk in a sippy cup without it being thickened? Hm. (tried it) That didn't work. She didn't want to drink it again. It must be that she doesn't want milk in a sippy cup yet. Why am I worried about this stupid sippy cup? She is eating! But maybe having her drink from a sippy is helping her develop an appetite for dinner, so I should keep trying it. Is she getting enough liquids? Maybe I should offer it every 10 minutes. Maybe I should try these other sippy cups to see if they have a difference [Tries them...after one or two rejections I throw them in sink and go back to the originally take and toss sippy cup]

Trust me. This goes on a lot. And just sort of apply the same thought process her reflux and it's a day chock full of busy!

Anyway. She skipped a morning nap again and when down at 11.40. Yesterday she only slept an hour and then took an hour nap in the afternoon, but then we had last night. She was just ... miserable. Today she has a play date at the zoo at 2.30. I wonder if she will be awake then. She did just eat lunch, have a bottle and then laid down without a fight. I wonder if this means she is transitioning to an afternoon nap.

This morning I got dressed, made the bed, swept and vacuumed the living room floor really well, and am currently in the process of mopping the floor. I also washed and dried a load of diapers (still need to put them away), ate lunch (man that takes so much more time to do!), played with Morella, drank some coffee and wrote and email or two. Now I should really go and pump and spend some time with my paper journal organizing ideas, crap and what not.

Did I mention I reorganized and cleaned the coat closet? I did. I am just so obsessed with getting rid of clutter right now. It's insane. I keep imagining myself living in a super nice, bed and breakfast style home for the winter because well...winter is long and sucky. I gotta get a grip....after I finish with this cleaning...organizing...fixing up....I don't know. It's like I need to do the whole house. Give it a once over in every aspect. Most people think of this a spring cleaning so maybe it's just that. Or maybe I am finally getting that nesting instinct. The timing would be right -- for LAST year. Ha ha.

Now to pump. It's always a burden off my back when it's done.

Okay. So I called and got an appointment for Morella's follow up Barium swallow study. Apparently it's a popular time to get follow ups (it's what she said) and so her appointment is December 3rd. She'll be over a year at that point. She said it was six weeks out. That sounds like nothing compared to saying Morella will be a year old.

Sigh.

Anyway. She gave me a regime for Morella to follow because she isn't eating much. I know it's probably what most of you already do...but my feeling is that it happened naturally for everyone else. Maybe it didn't, but you know that's how I feel. I never read about other folks struggles to get their kids to eat. Please, share with me this struggles.

From now on I have to offer Morella food for 20 minutes and follow up with a bottle.

Breakfast - Food, for 20 min. Followed by bottle.
Snack 1 - Snack with sippy cup.
Lunch - Food for 20 min. Followed by bottle.
Snack 2 - Snack with sippy cup
Dinner - Food, for 20 min. Followed by bottle.

What do I do for bedtime? Sippy or bottle? Crap.

I just go so anxious about this because Morella is already 5-7% on the weight percentile. On the other hand, she won't gain much if she only drinks milk, I will never get to stop to pumping, and she will continue to not eat. This just goes beyond what the books say -- which was to offer her food (about an hour?) after she has a bottle...right? Didn't I read that?

For the record I do offer her food before a bottle for lunch -- but then the doctor said she it's a learned thing and it's going to take more than that because some babies need a little extra help in this.

Why can't Morella NOT have feeding issues? I kind of wish I could send her off to Feeding Camp and have someone else get this routine started. I feel like a lot of frustration and crying is going to happen on both our ends.

Three bottles? THREE? Is that enough? She said she was getting too much milk and too often and therefore wasn't hungry. How thick does the sippy cup liquid have to be? Are we talking sippy cup milk or juice? What do people do?

*hyperventilates*

What if she doesn't eat?! What if I end up starving her to death? She gets dehydrated? What if... gah!

Kicking Ass and taking names.

Today so far I have knocked off:

--baby book. I tried to get Morella to nap before it but after five minutes she was up and yapping. I gave it a full 30 minutes (as long as she wasn't screaming) and while she talked to herself and played with her crocheted mosquito and pet bat, I washed bottles, got the diapers out of the dryer and sorted them, got dressed, made the bed and made coffee. When I went into get her, Arkham ran out of the room! Here I thought she was talking to herself that whole time. Stupid cat. You can bet the next time I put her down (after baby book and a bottle) I did a cat sweep and found Arkham under the trundle bed. Of course, 10 minutes later I heard a scratching and realized Migo was in there! She must have snuck in when I was getting Arkham out. Stupid cats!

• Opened and Etsy account. I plan on seeing if I can sell my beaded Christmas trees on there. First step down -- opening an account. Next step -- figuring out how to make a light box and then taking pictures of said trees.
• Washed dishes, pans, bottles, crockpot and put everything away.
• Washed counter and backdrop
• Washed paint brushes and put away supplies and paint
• Repotted my Neil Welker plant. He was a retired professor working at Northwestern. The first day I was there, interviewing for a job I didn't know I applied for, I met him in a team of four. His circumference around his office's ceiling was covered with this green vine - thick and lush. Well, three years later when I moved away, he gave me a clipping of that plant. I put it in water until it grew roots and then eventually half assed planted it. It's time to give that plant a little more respect and nuture it! Dr. Welker passed away the following year in 2004.
• Caught up writing in my journal for Saturday and Sunday
• Brought up diapers and folded/sorted them, put them away
• Chatted with Chuck and offered suggestions on a birthday gift for his new mom friend (she adopted twins! Gah, could you imagine...ha ha actually I have several friends that could, and then some!)
• Emailed Jessica
• Emailed Kerri
• Pumped

Okay back to work, Morella will be up soon.

I want to see Michael Moore do a documentary on why America is awesome. Sicko is very, very depressing -- as is most of the other stuff. Sigh. Just gotta remember there are countries out there that are way worse off than we are. Right? Right.

Weekend was good. I did home improvement by doing some painting, I worked on putting clothes away from the garage sale to donate, we took long walks, we went to the Greyhound gala and got a new t-shirt, thumb drive and reusuble bags. We didn't win anything but it was okay because the money we used for this was from the Pennies on the Dresser fund. It was heavy hauling all that change downtown! We also switched our savings account to a money market savings account. Now instead of having a .5% interest, we have 2.65%. Cool! Soon I will be rolling in the dough.

I made TWO pies tonight. A deep dish apple pie, and a dutch pie. Both are done and I am hungry and tired and should really go to bed.

Yeah no, I am going to do that. I can't concentrate on this post. I am too depressed now. :(

Friday Photos: Second Week of October
(PS I know the formatting is kind of weird. I keep messing it up. Next time...)

The Peterson's

Morella and her Grandfather (oh the dresses she will wear...ha ha)

Family

I wish I could absorb every single moment with her and remember it for an eternity (yes, even the rough ones.) Tonight we went over to visit a neighbor and the squeals of glee that erupted from her when the dog greeted her at the door, followed by the wide smile and sheer joy at crawling around in a new place is almost too much for me. She flew across the room throwing her arms out one at a time like she was marching, her little hands open to slap on the wooden floor with the softest little baby smack.

She is going to be crawling for such a short time in her life. A blink. Often times I am a little sad when she goes to bed because another day is done. Another day that I cannot get back. Did I enjoy it enough? Did I love her enough? Did I appreciate every single moment I had with this little wonder? Most of the time, I don't feel like I did. It's knowing that I get to see her tomorrow that makes going to bed and saying good night to this day bearable.

I am having a heck of day. Gah it seems like this whole week has been like this. This morning started off well. Morella took a morning nap and I was able to start dinner -- a crock pot recipe of carrot/lentil and coconut soup. The one thing I didn't like about it was that it wanted me to precook the onions and carrots...uh that is work! The point of a crock pot is to throw it in there and call it a day! Which is what I ended up doing. I am sure it will turn out fine.

After dinner was made, but everything still a mess -- seriously my kitchen needs help...uh along with the rest of the house (beside the point), I was able to take a shower. I even went as far as to use the uber fancy oatmeal scrub I got from Sigrid (smells SOOO good, like a oatmeal cookie), and high gloss rinse in my hair, I got dressed and everything seemed to be going good. I went to my tds mail to find an address and found a message that my dick quota [Edited to add: dick? HA HA HA HAH A... no I mean DISC] was almost up on my domain. What?! How could that be? It was less than half the last time I checked.

Now this is where it got stupid. I went and looked and since I don't have a certain application on my computer anymore, I had to use their file manager program to sleuth around. To make it short, I accidentally moved my public.html file to a different file and thereby screwed up my whole website for a few hours there. I could have saved myself that time by just looking at the disk quota viewer, which I discovered after that. Well, that shows that my quota is exactly what I thought it was...half of what is was showing. It was at that point that I realized I deleted my website ... temperarily. Then Morella woke up and was totally clingy, and wouldn't let me put her down.

I sent panicked emails to my domain person (Dude he is the BEST! If you ever need a great domain hoster - go to www.interxstream.com -- you won't regret it.)

As you can see he fixed the file problem and is currently working on the other problem. I'll keep you updated.

Oh I just put Morella down for a nap! (so soon?) and am going to pump and write a little. This day just feels like it's getting a little out of control. Deep breath!

Breathe!!!

Today was much better. Morella totally caught up on her sleep and I caught up on my energy reserves.

Her morning nap last three hours, so by the time she got it and was ready to eat her 2nd bottle it was 12:30. I brought the bottle into the living room and showed it to her along with a pink kitty she had been playing with a little earlier. I sat down and proceeded to ask the kitty if she was hungry and wanted to eat. As soon as I started to feed the kitty, Morella grew very angry. Immediately, after her look of shock and comprehension wore off that the kitty was eating her lunch, she threw a fit and screamed, turned red in the face and waved her arms up and down furiously. I was amazed that she didn't fall back because she was standing at the Music Stand of Doom. I held back my laughter, set the kitty aside and went to pick her up. She was much happier after eating and then was okay about offering the bottle to the kitty and me.

CUTE!

Tim tried it later when he got home and while he did get a reaction it wasn't as violent as the I had earlier. She crawled up to him to investigate and then when she was close enough she started to whine. Oh babies.

Quickly - Morella is not herself. She has only 13 oz of milk today...I hope to get her to take a little more before bed. She has cried off and on most of the day, slept a total of 50 minutes (one 20 min nap this morning and another 30 min nap this afternoon).

Now to see if she'll go to bed...and hopefully eat a little more. What's wrong with my poppet?

Friday Photos: 1st Week of October







Do you see other teeth in the second photo? Her third tooth that is for sure in, is on the right hand upper side...but I think I see more in this photo...