Today I:

• Made banana bread that Tim's approves. He is a very tough critic when it comes to banana bread you know. It MUST be moist. So moist that when you drop it, it makes a splat noise.
• Playdate at the Daisy Cupcakery. Three other Mom's showed up. We took over the front area. The kids got a long and even Morella kept her "No's" to a minimum. Well, mostly.
• Morella is afraid of "beez" -- which is every single flying object from fruit flies, to thistle fluffs floating in the air, to ants, to mosquito's and real bees. I am looking forward to this phase passing quickly.
  
• Incisors still aren't through, and gums are still pretty pointy looking.
• Cleaned
• Took Morella for a walk - she wanted to walk herself half way through it, and it was quite a walk! That little girl has some serious stamina.
  
• Crouton is seriously hurting my cervix, enough to make me go to my knees in the house twice to try and escape the pain. It's like getting a pap smear from the inside out. NOT FUN!
• Watched Bones -- my new favorite summer TV show and So You Think You Can Dance
  

This post is taking too long. I got caught up in going through recently downloaded pictures -- most of which I had already gone through but forgot to delete from my camera which explains why I ran out of space so fast. So I'll give you one for now.

Here is Morella clapping at Concert on the Square.



And for extra fun, here she is one year ago almost exactly -- just learning to clap at Concert on the Square. :D I think she did a little growing in that time, don't you?

Tim's Mom called tonight to ask about the whereabouts of the baby. My Mom called yesterday. I told my Mom that I would most certainly call her when the baby was born, etc and that she is in fact only one of three that get that privilege. The others of course, being Tim's parents and my Dad. The rest of you are stuck with the internet or word of mouth, though really the internet is your best bet.

Tim will be on call as my guest blogger again -- you can find his previous updates regarding the arrival of Morella here in the archives for the month of November 2007. Just scroll down.

I have to go to bed now. Tim just threw a mini fit about finding non-fitted sheets (for me) after stealing MY sheet that I have been using for the past two weeks or so.

Next up: Future SIL Kelly, Melissa and Lowen. Good luck!

One more thing. I forgot to add that on Monday I was measuring at 40 weeks! I never measured more than 38-39 with Morella --- and she turned out to be a small baby. So maybe Crouton is going to be big....er?

I realize that official "baby watch" is in full effect right now, and since I have been a watcher myself on numerous occasions, I know the importance of daily posts to assure that there has been no secret birthing of a baby while you were looking away. ;)

Yeah.

Today I went over to Hilary's to have an impromptu play session and trip to the park. It was okay for the most part, except for when Morella started screaming and freaking out over thistle cotton fluff seed things floating in the wind and Cullen. I think his first screaming impression on her wasn't a favorable one. :( However, she is in love with Leta. Leta can do no wrong and if a toddler could drap herself onto a kid more than Morella did with Leta I would be very surprised.

After that we came home and she took a nap that was interrupted around 1:00. I swear I heard her call Mama -- something she never does and I can't really say she did, and went in to check on her. She was laying on her back crying and soon as she saw me she signed that she done and still wanted to be in bed and flipped onto to her stomach to self soothe (sucking her tongue). I stayed with her for about 10 minutes (she was quiet the whole time) and went to shut the front door and a window by the house next door that was sawing metal. I left her door open and went to write in my journal while I waited for her to get up. It was about 1.30 or 1.45 when that happened and she was pretty okay for the rest of the day. I did notice this morning that one of her top eye teeth are coming in too....what the heck! Are all four coming in at the same time? I mean ... ouch.

I gave her bath in the afternoon and washed her mess of a hair, then let her run around in a diaper and we played on my bed for a while while I hung up a mobile framework for Crouton to gaze upon when her cosleeper is set up and she is here. I also hung two pictures.

Not much else happened besides dinner and me going out to Woodman's looking a fright to satisfy a craving -- yeah a real craving -- I wanted banana cream pie or coconut cream pie. Like a good pregnant person I bought both, but only ended up eating a slice of the coconut cream pie. ;)

My right calf has been cramping up all day so I probably should have had the banana cream pie. No wait, I probably should have just eaten a stupid banana. :P

I addressed a bunch of postcards today -- working through page one of my list of addresses. I have two more pages to go.I think that this is probably going to be the last batch I write for a long couple of months. The last time I wrote out a big batch was the end of April? And it took four months to go through them. I imagine it's going to take even longer with two little ones underfoot. But you know that is the point, to have them ready and standing by for when I do have a spare minute and want to feel like a creative human being who still writes and does the whole mail thing. ;D

Oh sure I blog. I don't think I'll stop doing that anytime soon. I mean, I've been doing it for ... well um, nine years now? and had actually started a little bit earlier than that by hand updating a website. Okay okay, enough. I should try and get some sleep.

Folks up next in the Crouton due date game: Rachel and Jude -- good luck ladies!!

From August 2009 Redbook, Shuistrology:

"Aquarius: On the 5th, the Full Moon helps you detach from the people and things that have been dragging you down, bringing you a more excited and enthusiastic attitude."

Ha ha ha. I think it's safe to say that Redbook thinks this baby will be born on August 5th, as do: -- hey apparently me! Ha ha, and Tim's Dad, Emily, and Jennie W. Hm.

Next up for tomorrow: Mary from MN, and BIL Ben.

My revised prediction was tomorrow night because I thought there was going to be a perfect storm of 1. MIL not being able to watch Morella and 2. My doctor not being there to enact Murphy's Law. Well, I found out today at my appointment that my Doctor won't be leaving until Thursday morning at 4:30AM so I have until ... Wednesday midnight, which means Tim's Mom will be back on call. However, the back up doctor I wanted is also gone this weekend ... so maybe this weekend. Or probably not. Oh well.

My appointment was good. Blood pressure low normal, good pulse, no protein, Crouton heartbeat in the 140's, and no weight gain (how that happened after a weekend of catholic baked good's, is surprising). I had a funny conversation with the nurse about Catholic potluck items versus Lutheran potluck items and we both agreed that the Lutheran's really know how to make jello. They do wonder's with it. I bet if McGuyver were Lutheran he would have used jello to get him out of some sticky situation. Tim later said that the baked goods I got weren't that great and maybe that is what prevented me from eating more than I thought I did.

I was a little annoyed that the doctor wanted to do an internal check. I had told her already that she was only allowed to do one at the 36 week mark when she did the Strep B swab, and the next one would only be after the due date. That's because when she did check she was unable to find out anything other than my cervix is extremely high up. Thanks, Doc. I told that you that already. So really, having her poking around isn't going to achieve anything unless her fingers got longer. In fact, my cervix didn't really start coming down until I well into labor with Morella. I guess I am just really lucky that way. ;) Point is, she didn't do one, and respected my wishes, which was nice. I think she is eager to not have the baby come while she is gone -- as in do it before Wednesday or wait until she is back.

Anyway. I celebrated a good appointment by getting a mocha frappichino and a chipolte burrito, I also bought one for the babysitter. Morella has been sort of a pill today. She has one of her eye teeth about to bust through, and the nurse mentioned this morning that when those teeth come in they can get headaches. Well, after she said that I noticed that Morella was putting her palm to her forehead and crying several times in the afternoon. She had a very low tolerance for anything. I gave her some motrin and then we went for a long walk around a couple blocks with her pushing her little purple doll stroller. It was so cute, except for all the times she freaked out about the ants on the sidewalk, the fly in the air, the jets in the sky, etc. At least by the end the walk she was doing much better. I wasn't able to do anything other than interact with her all day (whenever I tried she climbed on me and whined or ran away and wailed for a minute before coming back for a hug and cuddle). When Tim got home I was able to make dinner -- pizza and a salad. Morella had her burrito, colby cheese, raspberries and blueberries and macaroon creme filling from sandwich cookies. She took forever and a day to eat, which meant she got a slightly later bedtime.

But you know, I think she really enjoys dinner times with the both of us, and breakfast. It's kind of nice to think that she likes eating meals with us, even if she barely eats at times. The pizza by the way was kind of meh. Oh well.

Then I was really really tired, but I watched some mandatory TV to relax, and then finished a letter and then at 9 I forced myself to do some cleaning I had been wanting to do forever, like wash the soap scum and slime off the shower curtain and bathtub non skid rubber matt. While those were washing I bleached and scrubbed the tub and shower, and then went and cleaned up the kitchen. I have this idea that if I keep it up every night then then these rooms will stay relatively clean. We'll see. It is really nice to go into a clean kitchen in the morning though. Now if I could just get everything else to be that nice. I did clean the bathroom, and Morella's room is there, just needs vacuuming.

Speaking of which, the rug I had gotten her was meant as an outside rug. So why is it that it's one of the rugs that captures dirt the fastest and looks so incredibly dirty? It's the reason I want to go out and get a steam vacuum cleaner so I can clean the rugs and the couch. Sigh. Maybe later.

So I was entertaining thoughts that maybe this was nesting, but then logic overwhelmed it as just common sense and getting the cleaning done when I can -- which is at night. Plus, despite that large cup of coffee I was tired most of the day. I took a 2 hour nap with Morella and have just been dragging since then.

Okay I need to go to bed and sign off.

Oy. I was in a grumpy mood today. I mean, I kind of annoyed myself even.

I went grocery shopping tonight because I wanted to take a walk (but not walk around th streets, because I have to go slow and it looks weird doing that solo ... and I didn't want to walk Pluto because I didn't want to pick up poop).

Anyway. The cashier offered me drive up service ... at 10:30!! She pointed the young man who bagged my groceries and said he could go out front and wait for me. I asked him if that was okay and he nodded yeah in a typcially bored teenage way. So, I got super special service from Woodman's! How thoughtful...I was moving pretty darn slow by the end there. After an hour of on my feet and shopping the babies head was pushing on the bladder and everything else quite ... uncomfortably.

About internet Mom's.

1. When the heck did 36 weeks become full term? I thought it was 38 weeks. Quit complaining about being pregnant between weeks 36-38. [Brought to you by 39 weeks today]


I had more...but I guess I forgot them right now.

Ugh, I Have had nothing but junk food all day so far. Two small brownies, two chocolate chow mein "monsters", a cinnamon roll, and a bite of banana bread. I did have a bowl of cereal, but ... meh. Our plans are to eat a crapload of sweet corn and brat/italian sausage at 5 this afternoon so I was thinking of holding off, but I better not. The "easy" food is too easy to eat. Maybe a nice tuna fish sandwich?

OH oh oh oh oh! I stopped at a garage sale on the way home today from rummaging a bag sale and junk, and I got ... get this ... The Fisher Price Nature's Touch Papasan Swing for only .... wait for it ...... still wait ......... 25$ It was only used one, it's in mint condition ... and it's the only thing I really wanted for this pregnancy because it had saved our sanity with Morella. Twenty five bucks!!!

I also got an alumnin frame hiking backpack for $5.

Previously this summer, I had seen the cradle swing at a garage sale for $65 and was kicking myself for letting it go, and the same for the hiking pack for $10. I am just so pleased that I have these things. Now we can have this baby.

No wait, the house needs to be cleaned again first before someone says over without tripping over themselves walking anywhere.

Whose a slacking blogger? Me! I thought about it last night but then ended up using my creative powers to finish a letter I was writing to my mom, and the last stash of preaddressed postcards (I need to write out more...who else wants post cards and tidbits from my life?) and watching So You Think You Can Dance while getting a tongue burn from eating too much pineapple.

Okay. So this morning. Morella is still a bit clingy so I think garage sales with her are out. I can't possible carry her and browse at the same time. So that leaves finding some antichaffing stuff. My pal Sigrid said that monostat makes one that can be bought at a drug store, but that Dicks' Sports store would have also have a body glider type thing. Morella has been getting wicked leg chaffing rashes from walking around in a diaper, and won't wear bandages and short of not walking around everything else I have tried has failed. So ... yeah. I'll let you know how it goes.

38 1/2 week doctor appointment this morning went well. Absolutely no weight gain which is shocking considering how much swelling I think has occurred. I really have no idea as to how much I gain or don't gain in any time span because my presumptions are always proved incorrect! It just goes to show that "baby knows best, so quit yer worrying."

Tim watched Morella at work for the hour while I went because we weren't ready to take her back and relive the trauma from this weekend. Afterward I celebrated by a late brunch at Daisy Cupcakery -- where it was quite obvious that Morella was back in full form being her adorable self. Her rash is also gone. Now my new concern is that she is grabbing her crotch and whining at me during the day. Did she get a real UTI from all the efforts of testing? Or is she aware that she is peeing? Is it that rash on her leg that is bothering her? Gah, tell me kid. What's wrong now?

A reminder -- you are running out of time to get your bid in regarding the Crouton Baby pool. Winning prize is a $10 gift card to Target. Get your guess in now before it looks like cheating. Just click on the Expect.net banner to your left, or click here: http://www.expectnet.com/logingame.php?game_name=Crouton

The house next to us, and the one in the backyard is for sale. I hope that we get cool neighbors. Wouldn't that be nice?

St. Dennis festival is this weekend. I haven't been able to go to the Sunday book sale for three years -- I am SO going to do it this year. You can get a bag of books for like a buck.

Monday Photo Bonanza



Because of the stressful weekend we had, I didn't get a chance to take these belly shot photos until yesterday. So a day over 30 won't make that big of a difference. I wanted to post them before it got too late though. :) Here is the regular photo -- the belly has definitely filled out and is much rounder. Crouton must have had a growth spurt. Check out the difference in the progression below. The one prior looks positively pointy.

You can see the bigger image by clicking on the image to bring it to a difference screen. Tim so nicely said "Uff, you are huge." Thanks darling! I love you too. :D

With my shirt actually on, I had taken this before I remembered the yellow shirt sameness thing I wanted to have going on.

By contrast, check this image out just the week before at 37 weeks. I don't look pregnant at all! I look just like I am a regular Wisconsin woman.

This is from today. Morella's rash gets redder the more exerted she gets, but it still hasn't gone away. Poor dear. Still, I am glad for this rash a bit because it told us what was wrong with her. I hope tomorrow she is back to her old self. She slept ALOT today.

This was her at dinner before I left for my Mom's night out with my weekly playgroup Mom's. She looks like a character from Whoville with that "product" (aka frosting) in her hair.

I have a bunch more pictures piling up that I am going to need to post. I might have to gallery it though because there are more for family and friends who were at the events versus just pictures of me or my family.

It's so interesting to me, how I feel about how I look from pictures last year that I was convinced I look fat, and lumpy etc. When I look at them right now I can't stop marveling at how awesome I look! What was I thinking? I need to remember that time and circumstances will always change how you think about how you look.

Gah, I need to go to bed. I had a headache all day and my butt is falling asleep sitting here and I am tired.

Thanks for all the comments yesterday. We did end up going back to try a second shot at a catheder with a very professional, capable nurse and it was a failed attempt yet again. Morella's baby bits are just too little. We then did the bagging again, waited around for two hours and then went home after I had them tape the bag on more securely. This morning her diaper was soaked but miracle of miracles we were able to get 2ml of liquid -- enough for a sample! I dropped it off and then went to Target to enjoy my alone time.

The UA results showed no infection. Hurray. Morella woke up without a fever and seemed to be doing better. She ate, drank some and wasn't as crabby. I did notice however that she appeared to be getting a rash. A rash that has sort of spread throughout the day from her face to her neck, to her chest --- and some of you might know where I am going with this.

I told my friend Hilary about it and she immediately said "Roseola" -- I looked it up and ...... "Roseola (also known as sixth disease, exanthem subitum, and roseola infantum) is a viral illness in young children, most commonly affecting those between the ages of 6 months and 2 years. It is typically marked by several days of high fever, followed by a distinctive rash just as the fever breaks." Other symptoms include irratibility, fatigue, decreased appetite...

Well hot dog. We have a diagnosis! I can't tell you how much better it feels to know what was/is wrong with her, and that there was really nothing we could do. I feel bad about the events of yesterday but how the hell were we supposed to know? I mean, it's not like anyone knows what it is until the rash breaks out.

What gets me, is I have read countless journal entries regarding this from you guys and yet it still didn't stick enough for me to think that was a possiblity.

Anyway. So Morella is on the mend. I am on the mend. Ha ha.

Hey, I bought some diapers for Crouton today and wipe refills. The first few weeks are so hectic that we pretty much gave ourselves permission to indulge in disposable diapers. But while I was there I honestly could not think of anything else that I needed to get. Oh sure there are things we need to do around the house -- but all of those can wait until there is a Crouton here.

Whew. Roseola. And apparently you only get it once. Thank GOD!

So Morella slept a good portion of the day. A short hour long nap this morning and then a mega four hour nap this afternoon, followed by a 8:00 bedtime (she was in there at 7.30 but yapped for a 1/2 an hour). We also took our first trip this summer to the dog park. She was good for most of the trip but then dissolved into a clingy, whiney baby. But hey, baby steps.

Tonight's project for me aside from watching Caprica, was to sort through the medicines and stuff and move them to the hall way closet top shelf. I bought an under the bed storage unit for all the sheets and pillow cases that were there before. Now I have consolidated all the potentially dangerous medicine type stuff and can put them high up and attach a lock to the door to keep out Nosy Rosies until they are old enough to know better. Whew! One less thing to worry about. Next up -- making sure furniture won't fall over and crush an agile climber.

Okay. I gotta go to bed. I hope I get some sleep. My nap this afternoon was totally wrecked by an overactive baby. She's active now as I speak. I keep telling Tim she is most active between 9-12 at night. Is it possible that she has colic in the womb?!?

Today really sucked. Morella woke up at 5 with a fever of 103. I gave her motrin, something to drink and then sat by her as she went back to sleep. Tim got up with her later, and I told him about the temp. We headed to Urgent care.

The doctor took a swab for strep -- and it was negative. Ears, lungs and heart were all fine -- which left checking for a UTI. Oh, her throat is a little red -- so I guess there is the possibility that this is just part of the virus and tomorrow she will miraculously be better.

We opted for catheter because it would be faster and get a cleaner sample. The problem with the catheter was the nurse who attempted it three times couldn't do it, and gave up because of Morella's screaming.

Onto a bag taped over her baby bits. We wait. We wait. She isn't peeing. How could she really when she hasn't really eaten or had much to drink? But she hadn't peed since that morning so I KNOW there was pee there. If only that catheter had gotten in .... :( We eventually left because she needed a nap. We drove to Costco on the west side because that was the only way we could go because of a paddle race, Maxwell street days and the dane county fair clogging up downtown traffic to a standstill. We got our cards and looked around for a couple minutes before MOrella melted down more. We left and went home.

She took a nap. We took a nap. She got up crying I went and checked and her diaper was pretty wet. Any liquid in the bag though? No. She proceeded to be hysterically upset for the next hour until Tim just put her back into her crib. I called the clinic and relayed the information. I waited for someone to call me back while listening to Morella howl.

I call them again.

They finally call me back and offer to have her come in for another shot at the catheter. I say okay, only if the woman who tried this morning was the person who was going to try this time. I will admit, I was very brusque with the nurse demanding what good it would do for us if we waited until tomorrow to try to get this sample versus this afternoon. I mean seriously.

We get there. The new woman was very professional and they were much better equipped to try. Tim told them to do their very best and that we would not be upset by her crying and to keep trying (unlike the first one). This woman did a remarkable job of trying, numbing her up with lidocain, better lights, thinner tubes, etc. She was sure she tapped her once but no pee. Morella simply had not enough to drink to produce any more pee. After about 10 minutes we had to admit defeat. Poor Morella.

She was bagged. A hole cut through the diaper with the plastic bag hanging out and instructions for us to try to get her to drink liquids. We tried for the next two and half hours in that stupid waiting room before her bedtime rolled around and she was done. We decided to take her home after they taped up the bag to her extra securely and try out chances that SOME pee would get into the cup.

Morella immediately went to sleep and I worked on cleaning the kitchen to try and purge some of this stress. I also cooked and finished one recipe and 1/2 of another (cabbage rolls). So far Morella hasn't gotten up and we checked her once to see that she was still dry as a bone. I wonder if I should look one more time before bed. I would hate to have her leak and sleep in pee all night with a plastic bag taped to your baby bits.

SO yeah. That is where we are at. I have another bag if this one fails for trying tomorrow, but there is nothing more to be done right now but hope that her fever goes away and that this was all for nothing and really just part of that stupid virus she has....

This day totally reminds me of the early days with Morella when we were struggling to figure out why she wouldn't eat, why she breathed so loudly and funny, why she cried all the time, all those doctor appointments with so few answers.

I look forward to the day when Morella can tell me what's wrong.

Morella is still sick. Her temperature ranges from 102.4 to 101.1. Three solid days of fever that only goes down a bit with the help of Motrin. Last night she woke up at 3 and spent a good hour being very unhappy waiting for the motrin to kick in. The only way she fell asleep was by having Tim sit by her and then sneak out when she fell asleep. It took him three tries because the first two he kept trying to close the squeaky door. Hm. Gotta fix that door.

Yesterday I had taken her in and the doctor ruled out ear infection or pneumonia by listening to her chest. He said that she probably had a virus that only manifested itself in fever, crankiness and lack of appetite, but that if she still had it on Saturday to take her in and probably access her for a UTI. Sigh.

I really hate it when Morella is sick. She's so not herself. She's clingy, indecisive, not hungry, cries at the drop of a hat, doesn't drink much, apathetic... I wish she could tell me what's wrong!

I had to cancel my lunch plans with an old coworker today. I was kind of bummed about that because she is so hard to schedule with, in addition to browsing the Moravian all church garage sale and eating a lunch of hotdogs, soda and brats. I guess that was kind of damped by the rain and the record low temperature of 60 degrees today, in conjunction with the grey overcast blah. It's hard to believe this is the middle of July. But as Tim said this morning "It's like a gift to a pregnant woman." Yeah, I think he's right on that...but 60 is a little excessive isn't it?

Tomorrow morning we are going to call Urgent Care and bring her in right away. We are both of the opinion that her fever is probably not going to break before then. Right now she is taking a bath so that she can be clean.

So yeah, that has been the last three days for me. Pretty much catering to the whims of a sick toddler and doing whatever little things I can in between. I have also been laying down and gathering my reserves for whatever kind of patience and tolerance Morella needs to get through the day.

Other than that, Tim got a membership to Costco -- so we are planning a trip there this weekend where we can explore. :D I also planned a Mom's night out for my Playgroup for Monday that should be fun. All of my plans are short term these days.

Oh Hilary came over last night and looked through some jewerly. I think I am going to pack it up and store it in the basement for a couple years so that Crouton and Morella can have a blast looking through it one day and dressing up. Oh I guess being with a sick kid means I have gotten weird little tasks like:

-Reattach the lid to a footstool that has been broken for ... uh.... a long time
-Reattach the rod in the office closet
-Stuff an airdoll Morella got for xmas and hasn't worked because it has a hole in it
-Wash that dolls dress
-Weed the garden
-Write some mail
-Send my Mom's birthday package

Those are off the top of my head.

Morella is not feeling well today. She seemed fine yesterday and didn't even go to sleep at her bedtime, which meant she got to go along with Tim grocery shopping. However, she was up late so I figured that was what this morning's weirdness was about.

At 9 she wanted to go back to bed. I figured she had a late night and usually she just plays in there until she gets bored and then comes out. During that time I took a shower and got ready for my doctor's appointment at 10. When I went to get her at 9.30 she was asleep! I felt bad for waking up her up, and let her go for another ten minutes and just decided going in her jammies was going to have be good enough.

The doctors appointment was fine. Four pounds in a week was explained away by water retention. I guess that might explain part of it. Ha ha. No seriously, my appetite has been weird and I have been drinking a lot of fluids. Sigh. I guess I should watch the caffeine intake though and maybe ... oh do I care anymore? I guess I care a little. But my blood pressure is low, pulse is fine and no protein in the urine so really I am okay. I shouldn't worry about it. I hate that going to the doctor every week at this point means you have to get on a scale. It's so stupid! I think that is one of the worst things about pregnancy -- if having other people monitor your weight gain.

So yeah. We got home and she wanted to go back to crib. I put her in and she fell asleep around 11.30 to 1.30. She was up when I got her, but didn't want to leave. I made her because she needed a new diaper and needed to be offered lunch. Besides I was so hungry I was shaking. 1/2 a piece of baloney and a few grapes later she wanted what? Yep back to bed. I was helping her and noticed she felt warm so I took her temperature. 101.9

Crap. I gave her motrin and then a 1/2 hour later she felt much better and was ready to get out of her crib and play a little. I needed to go to Woodman's to get some butter and ingredients for dinner so I asked if she wanted to go on a walk. She said yes and jumped in her stroller. We walked to Woodmans, stopped at the park to swing for about 10 minutes and then walked home. Of course it was totally leisurely, that is the only way I can walk and not feel like crap anymore.

Came home, and I let her watch about 20 minutes of TV and then noticed she wasn't in the living room anymore. Instead she was lying on her floor on a pile of blankets next to her crib. Sigh. I put her back in with her stuffies. She is in there now talking to herself while I dethaw chicken and talk with you guys.

We are going to have pesto chicken pizza for dinner tonight. You know there is no tomato sauce in it? I kind of thought so and some internet research agreed. It should be interesting. Morella doesn't like garlic, or food -- so she probably won't eat. She has been drinking soy milk okay though so hopefully her low appetite is because she isn't feeling well. I just have to remember the mantra "They eat when they are hungry."

Yes, they do. I can't force food down her mouth.

Ugh I hope she doesn't have an ear infection.

I bought some pregnancy tea and primrose oil. I am not going overboard but I am hoping that introducing it to my diet that Crouton will come more on time. I don't need another full month of this.

There I said it. People keep asking if I am just "done" or "can't wait to get it out" and all that. Sure folks, I am really effing uncomfortable. It hurts to walk, moving at night makes me want to scream, I hate feeling like I have to pee all the time, I had actually peeing all the time, I don't like the jabs and punches I get from inside -- the cute little "oh she kicked" phase has been long over. I don't like feeling like I am going to vomit the second I get over heated. What do people want to hear? Is this what they want to hear? Gah.

On the other hand, I want Crouton. I want her to be as healthy as she can possibly be and if it means doing all of this, then I am glad for every freaking minute of it and don't dare want to give the impression that I don't want her -- here inside me or otherwise.

Oh the mail just came. I wonder if we got anything good. Probably not. Okay. I need to go and start dinner.

All afternoon post Tidbit style

Start time 3:00PM.

--> I woke up feeling like crap this morning. Overtired, my chest hurts, there is still sinus junk lingering from that cold two or three weeks ago, the pelvic floor pain is unbelievable and walking hurts. Tim then said I snored. A lot and quite loudly and that HE had to do the bed jiggle and nudging. Let me tell you, hearing that you are snoring logs is just not that great to hear. :( I mean, I guess it might explain why my face felt not right this morning and why I feel so tired, and for a long time I was wondering if it would explain why it feels like I have chest conjestion, but I don't think snoring goes down that deep.

-->I just cleaned up a massive sippy cup fail. She had dropped it earlier and I guess the lid was just barely on. It was a full cup of bean juice and it splashed all over her, the floor and red rug covering wires. Now I need to take that rug outside and hose it down.

-->I am baking banana bread with bananas that I am not sure where rotten or really very overly ripe. I guess we'll find out in a 1/2 hour more.

-->I also feel vaguely crampy today. Like when you are expecting your period to arrive any minute.

-->I had to return a key to the Monona community center for the shelter we rented on Friday for a Baby Daddy Shower I co-hosted. While we were there, I took Morella to the Dream park and she had 40 minutes of a blast.

-->Banana bread is awesome.

-->Fish fried with cornmeal, and zucchini, onion and some red green type thing saute for dinner. Working on it now.

-->Morella keeps getting into my underwear and pulling it all out of the drawer and then wearing it like a necklace.


--
---Now Tim is home -- I should publish and work on it later.

Take three putting Morella to bed. I put her down at 7. She cried until 7:30 when I got her up for an extra 1/2 an hour. At 8 I put her down again. She cried until 8:30 when I got her up again, this time I gave her tylenol. She wanted to go back to bed at 9:10 and now she has been more her usual going to bed Morella. Singing, quiet talk, long pauses, etc. I think whatever her problem was, the tylenol cured it. She also took it willingly, so I am thinking she knew.

Meanwhile I watched Bones, I might like that show. Washed dishes from the picnic basket and put dirty ones into the dishwasher. While Morella was running around she knocked over a jewelry box and broke it. I should go and pick that stuff up and fix it. Sigh. I drank a tall cup of iced tea this evening and while it's giving me a little boost of energy the overwhelming state of everything around her is smooshing it down into a little pile of grease.

Sigh. We both took a huge nap today though mine was much more restless than Morella's. They were sawing all day in the house next door to us building a deck. One gets so used to wearing ear plugs that soon the profound sound of silence is expected. I don't mind sleeping out in the woods though, that kind of noise is okay. It's just the whining of motorized equipment that bugs the heck out of me. After the nap, I realized I was late to the playgroup meeting that no one showed up for, and I had to pick up a key for a baby shower I am co hosting tomorrow. After that I ended up just coming home and taking Morella outside in the backyard to play making sure to douse ourselves in deet. Even so, I got several bites. I did manage to sweep the deck and mostly weed the garden in the hour we were outside before I just sat down and watched Morella play.

[She is crying again, and upset....what is wrong??!?!]

Okay. I wanted to get a few more pictures in before getting back to the grind of ... well my aimless wandering around trying to get stuff done. I think my real goal of the day was to clean the bathroom, maybe I should get back to that and finish that goal. I didn't get far because Morella bombed the place and I lost heart.

These are from the 4th of July and Morella's first parade ever:

Today was my 36 1/2 week appointment. I had to find childcare for Morella because I was going to have to get undressed for the strep B, and cervix check (hopefully the only one before action day). It rained this morning so I ended up giving Tim a ride to work (he skates normally and his bike is currently out of commission), so he went with me to drop off Morella. When it came time to leave he walked out, and I was about to follow when Karen, the woman watching him said "You should say good bye."

Morella heard the word good bye at that point and came crying towards me. Ugh. I'll admit. I'm a coward. I hate to see her cry and think it's just so much easier to leave while she is occupied. However, I can also see why saying good bye and telling her I will be back is better for the long run. Sigh. I said bye bye, she cried I left with that image in my head. Of course later when I picked her up, she didn't want to leave and Karen said she only cried for maybe a minute. That is so good to know. :D

Anyway. So. The appointment. I gained in two weeks ... drumroll please .... .75 pound. Yes, only 3/4 of a pound. Nuts how different it can be towards the end isn't it? Of course I celebrated afterward by getting an iced McDonald's coffee and sausage and egg with cheese biscuit in addition to my grocery store donut run. Lol -- rest assured I am not hungry for lunch so it should even out.

0% dilation
0% effacement
baby is headdown filling up my pelvis and she is 100% positive it's the head.

She was really unable to tell dilation or effacement because my cervix is so freaking far back and hidden that she can't get there. Just like last time. I swear, I have a cervix that was designed for multiples.

However, she does think I will go into labor on my own this time. She is going to be gone during my due date (July 29 - August 3rd). Plus, Tim's Mom said she can't baby sit July 27th and 28th...so how many people want to take guesses as to when Crouton will arrive? Anyone?

Despite my best efforts of having the next appointment scheduled in two weeks -- she insisted that they be weekly now and I make an appointment for next week. I also went ahead and finished making weekly appointments out until August 12th.

My plan is to start drinking red raspberry leaf tea starting next Saturday, taking evening primrose and walking as much as I can.

This evening we are supposed to go to Concert on the Square for our yearly concert. Tim's company sponsors this one, so we get VIP seating up front on the Capitol. However, I am not sure if it will be canceled. It's supposed to rain this morning but then clear off by 1:00, so there is still plenty of time for it not to be canceled. We will know by 3:00. In the meantime, during Morella's nap I need to put the dishes away, mop the kitchen floor and bake some cake for Hilary to decorate for Friday's babyshower.

That said, I should probably get going and quit yapping. At least for now.

Morella's First Shave
(She's growing up so fast! *sniff*)





These were from last night and too cute not to share. Morella was getting ready for bed and after she was done brushing her teeth decided that afterward they needed to shave.

--------------

In other news. My headache is finally gone today. Hurray! I took a shower this morning and am freshly scrubbed. Morella is wearing an adorable pink summer dress, I'll have to take a picture of later. I want to take some shots of her and me outside ... I guess with the camera on the car using the timer... because this belly is unbelievable! I mean, it's just so ... big. I didn't really realize how out there it was until yesterday when I took a snap shot of myself and Morella and really looked at the picture. I'd share it, but you know I look like crap and have some restraint. ;)

So after my shower I put on Wisteria perfume from Crabtree and Evelyn. I actually really like perfume and always put some on after taking a shower or when I am going out someplace interesting or special. Not a lot, just a little. This bottle of Wisteria perfume was the last one I bought and I got it as a special gift to myself when I graduated from the Reproductive Endocrinologist to a regular OBGYN when I was pregnant with Morella. I was just thinking today how Crouton needs her own special perfume too. I should go out and see what I can smell....you know, I don't want to play favorites.

When I got out of the shower today I had this fantasy that my house looked clean like a magazines and everything was in it's special place, with no cobwebs, dust, clothes on the floor, toys strewn about, papers filed away, all that other crap was where it should be. It was a nice fantasy for a second. Then I wondered if maybe this visualization was a hint of nesting? That would be cool.

Here is one more picture of my cutie pie.

I have a really bad headache that tylenol isn't touching. I drank a cup of extra sleepy time tea and started a load of dishes in the dishwasher as well as put away the food -- and that is enough for now. I can't do any more. My head hurts too much. No it's not the worst headache of my life it just really, really sucks.

Morella didn't take a nap today. Not even a short pretend 10 minute nap. She has never done this before. Tim and I both really could have used that nap time too to take a nap ourselves. Maybe I would have been able to get rid of this monster ache before it got worse. She also didn't get up until 8.45 or so, which is a record sleep in -- I didn't think it would be enough to eliminate a nap though...ugh.

At the suggestion of Burt Bee's insect repellent from Hilary, we went and got some today at Woodman's. I also got the stupid Off dry and smooth spray (LAME!) so that I could put the natural stuff on her skin and the deety stuff on clothes. It worked out well, she didn't end up with any extra bites. I got two just using the super lame dry and smooth spray. What's wrong with oily deet? And I am tired of the complaints on how bad it smells -- it smells like awesome protection, relief from skeeters and safety.


Today was one of those "I've been better" days. The head ache, the uncomfortableness of pregnancy, the hormone mood swings, the getting tired and hurty and blah blah blah.

Try easier. Go to bed.

I recaulked the kitchen sink this morning. The caulk promises to dry clear -- I hope so for the sake of the sink. It's times like this you just gotta jump into home improvement projects feet first.

It was a pretty good day. Morella had gone to bed yesterday at 6.30, and the day before it was 5:10 and she did sleep through the whole night both times. Maybe she is growing? All the sleep is doing her some good though because she seems to be coming out of her little funk.

Anyway. Today I decided that I was going to fool myself into thinking that I am not that pregnant and I can still do plenty of normal things like take Morella to the zoo. I stopped at McDonald's on the way to get me an iced coffee and her a sausage patty and we were on our way. Tim had asked about garage sales this morning and I told him "I honestly don't have it in my to do that right now. Carrying Morella in and out, watching her while shopping, and I can't run after her if she makes a run for it." It's true. Just the thought of it exhausts me. I can do the zoo. Put her in a stroller and push.

I didn't plan on the zoo being as nuts as it was. I guess a lot of people had today off because the fourth is on Saturday. We looked through the aviary, looked at a bear, almost petted some goats and then left to go wade in the beach. That lasted like two minutes. I swear, Morella was the most unadventurous kid. On our way back to the car, we passed the playground and she spied the swings. Five minutes later she ended up on the swings for a few minutes before her lack of a nap ....

man I am tired. This post is losing it. I should just hurry up and finish.

Came home. She slept a total of maybe 15 minutes. Got her up. She played really good around the house while I cleaned. We went outside to play and got eaten alive by mosquito's. I gave up after 15 minutes and 9 bites (not to mention the several Morella got on her face). It was 4:00 by then and she was totally ready for a nap. I changed her diaper and put her down. She chatted for about 5-10 minutes before going to sleep and I took a nap. She woke up at 5ish crying, but stopped after 3 minutes and then finally got up at 6:00 when I walked in to check on her. I had just opened the door to take a peek. A moment passed and then she sat up with a big smile on her face like she was waiting for me to open the door. Even though she hadn't said a word!

She got up, ran around a bit. I made her a cream cheese sandwich and poured a glass of milk because I felt lazy and like it was Friday and maybe she didn't have to eat at the table (and besides I didn't feel like sitting there). Sandwich eaten, and Tim still wasn't home from his after work beer, I decided to take her out to the Monona Community festival. There was supposed to be some kind of drum exhibition and if it sucked there was always the park.

We show up and the exhibition was teenage bands doing death/speed metal. It sucked. However the play ground was relatively empty for a change so we played there. Morella had fun swinging, crawling around and exploring. An ex-navy wife talked my ear off at the swings -- I felt kind of bad for her because it was obvious she was lonely and wanted to meet other other Mom's but at the same time she was like 25 and so young, and Crouton was kicking me and I had to pee and the teeny midway they had next to the park was really loud.

As we were leaving I decided to walk through the midway with Morella. She spied the carousel and was obsessed with it. I stood by it and we watched for awhile before moving on. As I passed the ticket counter I saw the price was a dollar a ticket and small rides were two tickets. I didn't have any money so I kept walking. We went around and were heading back to the car when we came up to the carousel again. This time Morella was insistent in making her wishes known to me. She pointed at the carousal, did the sign for want, and raised her arms for me to pick her up. She did this several times with a very serious expression on her face and could barely contain herself. I melted and counted my change -- I had just enough for two tickets.

I bought the tickets, counting out my coins. Walked to the carousel and waited patiently for the ride to end, and Morella watched the ride like a greyhound sitting next to a rabbit, and I noticed "This Ride is 3 Tickets". Oh no. Three? Crap. I had NO money. I looked through my bag to make sure. Looked around and saw no ATM's. And then decided to try and ask if the dude would let her ride for only two tickets. Turns out he couldn't do it. Pft. Whatever. I then asked if I could get a refund for those two tickets, and he said I could ask.

I walked back to the ticket booth with a heavy heart. I was about to disappoint my little girl who tried very hard to communicate with me the one thing she wanted to be adventurous on today. I get to the ticket booth and explain the situation to the lady. She takes the tickets and then hands me another type of ticket that says good for multiple people. Wha?!?! She basically gave me the extra ticket -- I was astounded and thanked her profusely.

Green ticket in hand we walked back to the carousel where no one else had gotten on in the time we were gone and waited for him to notice us. He did, and we were the only ones to ride it. Morella held on tight and with a very serious expression we rode around and around. As it ended, I told her it was done and for a moment I could she her want to protest before I added "And now we can go home and see Daddy." There was no more argument. She got into her stroller and drank some milk as we walked to the car and drove home.

She was quite happy to see Tim when we got home, and of course threw a huge fit about going to bed (as in she wasn't in bed fast enough).

Anyway. I don't think I will forget that experience with Morella and the carousel for as long as I live. It was one of those special Morella and me moments that are about to end with Crouton's arrival. Sigh. I should go to bed.

Sigh. The clinic called to say the forms hadn't been filled out yet because my Dr was out yesterday. A fact we all knew, and any doctor would have sufficed. But instead, whoever has their grubby hands on them decided my doctor should be the one to fill them out and will hopefully get to it today and will give me a call when that happens. Um. Okay?

We have not gone anywhere this morning. Morella is STILL out of sorts. I gave her some tylenol about 15 minutes ago and she gave me huge meltdown over a diaper change. I put her to bed after that. Aside from a little seasame Street time this morning and breakfast with Daddy, she has spent most of the morning in her crib. I went in there and read her poetry and books for about an hour before putting clothes and toys away.

I wish I knew why she was feeling so out of sorts. Is it the grey, cold overcast day? Is it that I can't run around and play with her? I can't just pick her up and fly by the seats of our pants wherever adventure wants to take us? I feel like it's going to be one of those days were you just keep slogging through and hope the forecasters are right about the sun coming out later.

My nose is still full of snot -- maybe the cold is not out yet. I guess I'll go and get dressed and make the bed.

Ugh, I think this cold might be finally on it's way out. I woke up this morning being able to breath and sleeping not propped up, so that is a good thing. It's another cool and overcast day. I was trying to think of something to do with Morella that she might enjoy. The things she likes most in the world right now are:

stroller rides
swinging
looking/playing with other kids
her crib

So... maybe the zoo? It's cool, we could walk around in the stroller and I would have bathrooms close by should I need them. Ha ha, should? Oh it's a definite know.

Yesterday I dropped off Tim's FMLA forms to the clinic. I asked that they call when they are filled out and I would pick them up today, but I wonder if that is going to happen. I feel like I might have to be making a call later on to see. Yesterday Morella and I did a bunch of errands in the morning (dropping those forms off, going to Happy Bambino to find diaper liners, and then Cubs to get her more milk). The rest of the afternoon was filled up by a massive three hour nap and a trip to the park where she swung, played and generally had some fun until she wanted to go home and find something for dinner ... or ... hang out in her crib which is what I think she really wanted.

I got a package in the mail for some fairy books that I had ordered for my Mom's belated birthday present. I looked through them while watching TV and then got bored. I then took a super long, hot shower and then looked at everything I look at on the internet before everything had been read and went to bed. These days don't often happen. I had entertained working on Morella's baby book..oh wait! I framed a postcard and hung it up...so that is kind of crafty. Sigh. It's just that the house is a mess, and things require bending over and picking up crap or blah blah blah and I just don't have the stamina for that at night. So when a night does pop up where I have a little extra energy I don't know what to do with it. At least if that happened on a Wednesday I could watch So You Think You Can Dance (which I have been doing while doing other things).

What a long post about nothing.